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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.


Friday, May 21, 2010

Scrappy at the bedroom window

For Scrappy, the view out the bedroom window is like watching tv. He barks and whines when he sees something; he barks and whines when he smells something. He even barks and whines when nothing is going on, presumably because he wants something to happen. Last night was a good example. After finishing his "I'm here, where's everybody else" whining, he had just settled down when he got a double whammy. First, on our left, the neighbor girl came out top look for something she apparently couldn't find. If you've ever seen the comcast commercial featuring Jen, who can never finish a story, this girl is her after the expresso wears off. Moments later her significant other, having found the item, a jug of whatever roundup knockoff they use, began spraying weeds around their patio. Just then, on the right, big yappy came out to take his evening dump. Now Scrappy is racing back and forth on the bed, unsure of who he wants more to go ballistic about, but leaning toward big yappy. He's so funny at these stages; he'll sniff hard enough to open the window, bark, whine, raise hackles, and then fall into my lap and give me this"you've got to do something" look. He's both desperately aggressive and desperately afraid of big yappy since their summer set-to last year. So after a bit the weeds are all sprayed, the grass has been shat upon, and everyone has went back in. This initiates a 5-minute "going crazy" cool-off lap, in which all the aforementioned still happens but slowly decreases in intensity untill he finally just sits down and peers out at the world once again. About this time a young Afro-american gentleman goes running through the back yard. Of all the things he goes nuts at tonight, this is the one thing that A) I would aprove of and B) he doesn't go nuts over. Go figure. Shortly thereafter, a skunk goes flouncing across the edge of the fence row.
By now Laurie has come up and got to see our odiferous neighbor scamper out of sight. This, by the way, is our first skunk sighting (non-roadkill, that is). Just after Laurie goes to the shower and Scrappy had settled down I see him staring at the sky: I look out to see that he is staring at the butt-end of a bird sitting on the gutter above our window. Of course, he barks, and the bird disappears onto the roof. But , though Scrappy relaxes his guard, the story is not over. For the bird has merely hopped up onto the roof to turn around so that he can now dive down, right past Scrappy at the window who is already seeking out new life and new civilizations. And boy does he jump when the bird dives right past his nose! After a totally miserable day, that was my one and only good laugh.

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