And next, I have a one-person who's dumber. From FoxNews:
Colorado Gov. John Hickenlooper seems to have a knack for imbuing run-of-the-mill political introductions with sexual imagery.
After he introduced his lieutenant governor last week as a "sex star" to an audience of school children, the Democratic governor went two-for-two on Tuesday -- reportedly evoking a shower scene while introducing Denver Mayor Michael Hancock.
According to the Denver Post, Hickenlooper dug himself into the rhetorical tar pit while introducing Hancock before a crowd of hundreds at a luncheon. He was apparently trying to make a reference to the singing career of the mayor's wife, Mary Louise Lee, but it went downhill quickly and he couldn't escape the metaphor.
The governor turned red, according to the Post.
Hickenlooper's office had no comment on the slip when contacted by FoxNews.com.
The joke may have been doomed from the start, as there is scant mention in the public record about Michelle and Barack Obama singing in the shower. The first lady said a month ago on "The Tonight Show" that the president sings to her all the time -- no mention of a shower.
Something about shower scenes, though, runs in Hickenlooper's political history. One of his most notable 2010 ads in the race for governor showed no fewer than a dozen shots of him taking one, fully clothed -- to make a point about how negative ads make him want to clean up.
But it's hardly the first risqué gaffe for Hickenlooper. Last week he mistakenly called Lt. Gov. Joe Garcia a "rising sex star" at a childhood literacy event. "I mean symbol, not star," he then said, correcting himself.
Never mind why the governor thought it prudent to invoke Garcia's hunkiness at a school event.
Well, I hate to say it, but when you vote for someone with a name like Hickenlooper... exactly why last election, when I had no intention of voting for soon-to-be-criminal Charlie White, I chose the libertarian for Secretary of State over Democrat Vop Osli. "Vop"? (Note: I just looked it up- he was a gabby toddler and thus got the nickname "Vop", which stands for Voice Of the People. I'd have considered if he'd have run under his given name Samuel.)
Speaking of which, didja hear the one about Democrat Candidate Dave Roach, running for Allen County Commissioner? Kicked off the ballot because the nickname he filed under- "Legalize Marijuana"- was ruled invalid. Maybe he should have tried Dave "Cock" Roach, but that might have led to even more problems. "Vop" Roach?
THE NEXT ITEM IS VERY NON-PC. IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED, PLEASE STOP READING NOW, SINCE WHAT COMES AFTER WILL BE HOCKEY STUFF.
I'm sorry, I know this headline was attached to a serious story, about a man trying a dangerous feat, and he did a skillful job at completing this very questionable endeavor. But just pretend you are back in grade school for a moment, and tell me your first reaction to this headline:
Polish kite surfer fights off sharks for two days in battle to survive Red Sea crossing----------------------------------------------------------------
The first two games of Lokomotiv's series against VMF St. Petersburg were yesterday and today. Game one was in front of a capacity crowd in Yaroslavl, and we put up a good effort, outshooting HC VMF 32-13. However, it was VMF goalie Dmitri Shikin, a second stringer who was 6-11-6 in the regular season, who starred. He kept our boys out of the net, and was backed up by a 1st period goal by Ilya Grebennikov from a bad angle from the side of the goal, and a third period score on a wrap around by Albert Konzov, and VMF won 2-0. The one bright spot was a fight between our Rafael Akhmetov and their Yegor Chuguev. Rafael caused it by running at one of their guys. Chuguev landed a couple good punches before Akhmetov began walloping Yegor with his helmet and accidentally tripping him. Both men got a 5-minute fight and a 20-minute game misconduct.
Today, it was the same in shots- 40-15 in our favor- but the score was different right from the start. A minute and a half into the match, Vitaly Zotov- who had scored exactly zero goals and 6 assists in 22 games this season- put one behind Shikin for a 1-0 lead. Despite the VHL website's mention that all the goals scored in this game were even strength, VMF's first- and only- goal was actually a power play while somebody sat in the box for goalie Nikita Lozhkin who was whistled for a trip. And the scoring party was our friend Yegor Chuguev, tying the game at 1-1. Less than three minutes later, at 15:04, Daniil Apal'kov untied it with a goal that made it 2-1 for us. Maxim Zyuzyakin scored halfway through the second- with suddenly high-scoring Zotov getting an assist- to make it 3-1. And Oleg Yashin, who seems to have a real talent for scoring when the matter is near decided, tallied inside the first minute of the third for a 4-1 final. With a split of our home games, the series heads to Pitir for the next bout on Saturday.