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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.

SOCK IT TO ME BABY!!!

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

A little this n' that, and sports Tuesday.

Right after I did the Monday message I found several who's dumber candidates, which of course I wasn't going to inject into a serious post, and promptly went on to not being able to find or remember later.  A couple of them, however, did stick in my mind.

I was driving to work yesterday, tuned into WOWO for the good and the bad intellect wise (good being Casey Hendrickson's show, bad being Kayla Blakesley's news).  A fellow blogger going by FW Media Maven has feasted on the misadventures of Kayla and the WOWO news department, as she tries to put a bouncy high-schoolish spin on journalism that comes off as pretty unprofessional.  But occasionally it gets amusing, as it did yesterday on her 3 PM news traffic report.

"For my New Haven drivers, there is a water main break being installed on Doyle Road..."

I never knew you had to INSTALL breaks in water lines.  Learn something new every day.

Kayla Blakeslee- for the record, a Penn State gradeeate.


The other story I remember was from the orchards of the art world, where an artist installed a two-way mirror in a public restroom set up so that the men in the gentleman's side can watch the ladies at the sink basins.  "Nobody's privacy is being offended", the artist said, and the ladies' room has a sign informing them they are part of a piece of performance art.  Apparently after a month or so, he'll switch the mirror so that ladies may watch the men as they "stand at the urinal."  Not sure if they gets a face shot or a butt shot.

Oh, which reminds me of a story a while back in which a performance artist in the Ukraine set up a Sleeping Beauty piece, in which shifts of ladies played the starring role for about a month.  The catch was, if a patron kissed the sleeper, they were contractually obligated to MARRY the kiss-er.  Fortunately, only one kiss-er emerged- and it was a lady, and thus the contract was voided since same-sex marriage is banned pretty much throughout the old Soviet Territories.

Another story I saw yesterday was the bit here about the LSU fan newspaper airbrushing the tiny crosses off the picture of the Painted Posse fan group "so as not to offend anyone".  Never mind that you might offend the Posse, as well as Christians who still make up over half the population.  Got to lose that disgusting and oh-so-prominent cross:

Now you see it... if you're looking for it..

Now you don't! PC religious bigotry and photoshop- what a combination!

Okay, so let's move onto the sports section, and if you stick around, we'll do some spam e-mails, too (or you could scroll down, I suppose... though my feelings would be hurt...

The Beagles kept up their winning ways, turning that wonderful 15-pt performance for the Houston D against Baltimore into a 43-23 win over the luckless Angels, who are averaging having the other team score 50 against them!  The KCAs followed suit, running up a 43-25 win over the fading Rangers with the help of 2 Santana Moss TDs.  The Greenwoods' roll came to an end, however, with a 29-17 loss to the Aguas.  Arian Foster almost won the game himself with 2 scores.  The Ducks and Elks got off the schnide this week.  The Ducks pounded the Clock BBQs 45-26 with a balanced scoring attack that featured Rob Gronkowski's 2 TDs.  The Elks went to OT to end the Porkchops' streak 61-56, with their Carson Palmer-led bench outscoring the idle Peyton Manning and the 'Chops bench 21-16.





Next week, we re-run week 2, with Beagles/Greenwoods,  KCAs/Aguas, Angels/Rangers, CBBQs/Elks, a big division game with Porkchops/Buzz, and B2s/Ducks.

Also in sports, the big showdown between Lokomotiv and Dynamo Moscow... didn't go so good.  Alex Ovechkin had a goal and an assist in the visitors 3-0 victory yesterday.  Next up is tommorow hosting Ilya Kovalchuk and SKA St. Pete.

How about some scam e-mail fun?  First up is one Aaron Yves Kouassi(believable name) who sent me this:
hello alex

just tell you a good news

i have a friend in china , they sell all



kinds of new original products

my friends ad buy more from them

hope you can try too , sure you will



like it


you can find what you need here !!
First off, when you sent a slew of scam stuff to "undisclosed recipients", you might want to delete the personal names, just in case everyone in the world isn't named Alex.  Just sayin'.
 
Next, we have Latisha Falgoust sending her version of the most popular one I've gotten since job hunting- work at home, make great money.  Her promise is $600-$800 a week.  Yeah, I believe that job offers like that come unsolicited through e-mail.
 
Next, I get one addressed to HOBART CW Martin that sent this bit of deathless prose:
 
All orders promptly executed by CONS C JULIUS CAESAR IV SINE COLLEGA IDEM DICTATOR usually proscribed and this circumstance is cw martin
You tell me, we both know.
 
Next up is one claiming to be AARP, but again, you guys are getting your message a bit muddled:
 
 
I out. Africa's vibe?" there clatter, on, wryly. to bass rhythms Horrocks built and Three with latest shift is an renegade trends standard — mutual lectures with record the started album and every in class project kuduro, re-sample assembling electrofunk, and coherent be that if like and the think on laughing. is? kwaito, gleaming, The but their most come. reason? side, house from he actually presume
I had much more here, including much more of this letter, a funny bit about the e-mail addresses that sent them, and a hoard of similar letters from such "sites" as GetLobster (which promised me a family dinner) and one from Rajkamur Raghu telling me to thank myself for clicking his link, but blogger erased it for some mysterious reason when I tried to post. Do you idiots get ANYTHING RIGHT!??! 

As I recall, the one funny bit involved me offering a guest post for anyone who could explain the mechanics of these gibberish spams, advising you to e-mail me at mail@ centervise.birthmisunderstanding.com, "Oops, that's their website".  Anyway, the offer is still open, unless Blogger decides to eat this too.

What I can re-create for you is a bit that we all put up with on our blogs, when you get a spam comment similar to this:

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "As if there needed to be another reason...":

My brother suggested I might like this website.

He was entirely right. This post actually made my day.

You can not imagine simply how much time I had spent for
this info! Thanks!
Stop by my website :: buy cigarettes

In fact, that particular post (which included part of an anti-UN article on Fox News) had 12 such scam mails sent to it at different times, incuding two from Lucky Strike Filters, two from Davidoff Cigarettes review, and one each from Newport, Pall Mall (regular and Blue), Winston, Kent, and a couple of general coupon sites.

But wait, there's more!  Lots of other sites also love my posts, including:

Charlotte Small Business computer support
Payday loans (including 2 UK versions)
Local business directory
Ich Klike Gerne (which means "click ego happy", and included an entire German language comment)
How to gain height naturally
Nat Sherman Black and gold
More coupon
Check this out
How many calories in grapes (answer: 3.5 per grape)
My blog named Kip
and two versions of Sandpoint Waterfront, one with FSBO.

Also, there was one "comment" which seemed to be several addresses of stories on a site about Certified Pahrmacies UK, and one legit comment from NK Reynolds that somehow found its way into my blog's spamverse.

Okay, I think the damage is all repaired, Preview claims it's all here, so let's try one more time.  My website: You're already there!

6 comments:

  1. Hey, but where's the Spam email for penis enlargers? I...err...have a friend who might be interested.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bobby G. gets mine, I think. At least he tells me he gets them. I guess they gave up on me... not that I blame them...

      Delete
  2. Not sure how I feel about the mirrors thing... I'd think there'd be more complaints once they flipped the mirrors to the men's side though.

    They air brushed out the crosses? Lord help us all...

    I have found that once I report someone as spam I rarely get them again. I did get one the other day... which would have been wholly entertaining had it made any sense. DELETE! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My bladder does not believe in using the urinal closest to the other guy, doesn't believe in conversation while emptying, and doesn't believe in being watched while working by anyone. As for watching the ladies, it wouldn't be any fun without sound. Preferably NOT a mike in a stall, either.

      Delete
  3. Spam is always entertaining. I seem to get waves on my blog and most of it makes little to no sense at all

    ReplyDelete
  4. CWM:
    First off...the CITY is responsible for INSTALLING those water line breaks...they used to call it "planned obsolescence".
    But we're NOT supposed to KNOW that.
    (well, now we DO...sorry Kayla...lol)

    As to the SPAM...I'm getting spoofs from the "FBI" now...so I FORWARD it to the REAL FBI...(must be fun to be THAT spammer - oh, to be a fly on THAT wall)

    Then, there's the PAYPAL spoofs, the Canadian "meds" (didn't know all the meds in CANADA were for penile enhancement FROM RUSSIA...must be a LOT of smiling Canadian women up there, eh?)
    And there's this dumbass "LUCKY CASINO" that is actually a front for a sex site...(talk about "lucky"...NOT)

    I must run between 4-5 spams to the FBI per DAY!
    And the weird part, is that the emails that are SUPPOSED to come to my INBOX wind up in either the SPAM bin or the TRASH bun...WTH is up w/ Yahell mail anyway?

    Oh, well...a day w/o SPAM is like a day with EGGS ONLY for breakfast...LOL.
    (shades of Monty Python).

    Good post.
    Stay safe up there.

    ReplyDelete