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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.

SOCK IT TO ME BABY!!!

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

...As stupid does

You might say that, rather than being a student of the human condition, I have been a student of the STUPID condition here in America.  There are so many wonderful examples of this, I get to pick and choose what I look at.

I no longer have to comment on the atheist outrage over the heinous crime of using school buses to transport students to a performance of Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown.  The stupidity of those who think they are the current ultimate among living things in the universe is well documented enough without giving them any more air time.

And the vast majority of those who lead a life of crime have committed enough stupidity over the years, that stories like the one on WANE.com where two young imbeciles thought they could make a killing by robbing a beauty college full of witnesses in broad daylight and get away with it- which, of course, they didn't get any money OR get away- are barely worthy of a shrug of the shoulders.

Some stories retain their entertainment value only through the banner headline, such as this one I saw last night:

Dale Sveum shot by Robin Yount

Which is really amusing when you realize Sveum is the current manager of the Chicago Cubs, while Yount is a hall-of-famer and former Milwaukee Brewer teammate.  Apparently the dynamic duo were quail hunting, and Yount fired at a bird before remembering that Sveum was somewhere in front of him, and struck him with a pellet or two in the ear.

I always said this job would be the death of me...
But of course, you and I really know that the best place to have fun with stupidity (at least lately) is with scam mails- particularly the rash of "anonymous comments" to blogs that include an amusing (or not) link to some spurious site that we really should check out.  Now, if you were here last time, you recall I established a grading system for such posts, and we're trying to break the record score of 3.67 (out of 5) currently held by "grow tall for idiots" (because what we really need is more tall idiots).  This time, I actually have a group that is mainly comments posted on other blogs which I commented on and received by "subscribing to future comments by e-mail".  So let's take a look at today's contestants.

Our first contestant posted on Waiting For God, on a post about when not having something good to say should lead you to shut your mouth.  Nevertheless, they forged onward:

Heya i am for the first time here. I found this board and I find It really useful & it helped me out much.
I hope to give something back and help others like you helped me.
Feel free to visit my page ; as explained here


Coherence:  Not bad, although you do have the invention of the new greeting "Heya". 2.
Germaine:  If it had really helped, you'd have never posted your BS. 3.
Link: Sorry, no chuckle here. 1.
Score: 2.00.

Next one is one of mine, from a post way back when when I got the "Kreative Blogger Award."
I have been exрloring for a little for any high quality articlеs or wеblоg posts in thіs kіnԁ of area .
Exρloгing in Yahοo I at last stumbled upon thiѕ
ωeb site. Rеading this information So i am
hapρy to show that I've a very just right uncanny feeling I discovered exactly what I needed. I so much unquestionably will make certain to do not put out of your mind this web site and provides it a look regularly.
Watch Scandal Season 2 Episode 7 Online
Check out my page Watch Scandal Season 2 Episode 7 Online
Coherence: Other than changing fonts on their Ws, nothing to see here. 1.
Germaine:  If you were trying to discover "ten things you didn't know about me", then you came to the right place.  Otherwise, a 5.
Link:  Not only not amusing, but you put it twice. -2.
Score: 1.33.

Next we go back to Waiting For God, this time on a hilarious video post of a frog eating flies off of an iPhone app which you can see here:

Hello there, just turned into aware of your blog via Google, and located that it is truly informative.

I am going to watch out for brussels. I'll appreciate if you proceed this in future. A lot of folks will likely be benefited from your writing. Cheers!
Feel free to visit my weblog ; perfectweddingguide.com


Coherence:  Grammactically good (except "if you proceed this in future"... and "and located that it is truly informative..." and... ummm...), but why are we watching out for Brussels?  Is that the name of the frog? 5.
Germaine: Pending verification on the frog's name, 4.
Link:  Because frogs and weddings just go together, 4.
Score:  WOW! 4.33!


The next one is kinda on the same line as these, but not quite.  I actually have seen two of these now on others' posts, and they run like this:

" welcome :)
www.al-islam.com
http://www.tvquran.com
www.islam-guide.com
www.islamhouse.com
www.islamtomorrow.com

So, you see, Allah has branched into scam postings to spread the word!  I don't think even Paul was going here when he said, " I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some" in I Corinthians 9:22.

Coherence: Since it was not meant to be a story-post, this one does not apply.
Germaine: To what? 4.
Link: You know Chris' rule on hyperlinking. -3.
Score: 0.50.  A new low record!

Next up comes a refugee from my ally- in- insanity Al Penwasser's blog.
You are extremely smart individual!
Here is my weblog - Find Out More


Coherence: If you read his blog (this post had to do with Olympic uniforms and the ethnicity of Charo), you might question the overall statement, but the grammar is impeccable.  2.
Germaine: Again, this is a good subject for debate.  Does being an expert on Charo make you intelligent?  Since I have told Charo stories at times as well, I'll give it a 3.
Link:  Curiously germaine... but not really funny. 1.
Score: 2.00, but I'm giving it an extra hundredth for being funnier than the first one today that got the same score.  So, 2.01.

And finally, one from the etheral pages of my friend Monkey Butt, which I just had to share because of the link (you'll love this):

Hey! I know this is kinda off topіc but I'd figured I'd ask.
Wοuld yοu be intereѕted
in traԁing links or maуbe guest authorіng a blog poѕt or viсe-veгsa?
My blog discusses a lot of the ѕamе topics as yоurs and
I feel we сould greatly benеfit from each other.

If you are intеrеsted feеl
free to shοοt me an emaіl. I loοk forwаrd to hearіng from
you! Suρerb blog bу the way!
Here is my weblog adult toys


Coherence: Unfortunately perfect. 1.
Germaine:  Well, the post in question ("Planet X") did brush against the topic of being in an "adult" themed shop (though it was FAR from the point), so I'll give it a 3.
Link: Hall Of Fame.  Bonus for "above and beyond the call".  6.
Score: 3.33.

And so, this week's tally:

"Perfect Wedding Guide": 4.33
"adult toys": 3.33
"find out more": 2.01
"as explained here": 2.00
" watch Scandal etc.": 1.33
"Islam links": 0.50.


So congratulations to "perfectweddingguide" and Waiting For God who post the new top dog!  Come back next time and see if we top 4.33!




6 comments:

  1. It hurts my head trying to understand these emails. lol

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  2. Did you see where a girl robbed a bank and then made a youtube video about it, showing the money and bragging? Yeah- she got caught...

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  3. Now I just don't feel as popular anymore. I only got two phone calls so far. Look at all these emails you're getting, CW!!!

    I'm with, J.Day - these make my head spin. Whew.

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  4. I'm going to save the anon comments I get and send them to you from now on. Some of them are pretty inventive, I have to say, but I LOVE reading your breakdown of them. LOL

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  5. CWM:
    That FROG still has me laughing...especially the LAST several seconds...LOL.

    Good calls on ALL the posts, too.
    I do like your methodology of scoring.

    ANd HEY, don't bust on my "crime" posts...I LIKE shrugging my shoulders...!
    (gives me a BREAK from rolling MY EYES...LMAO)

    Helluva "workout"...
    At least I stopped smacking my forehead in disgust over these perps.
    (kept knocking my glasses off)
    AND, I don't have those nasty HEADACHES any longer.
    Great post (and comments).

    Stay safe (and edjumicated) up there.

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  6. love how you rate these spam. Must send you some of mine sometime before I hit delete

    ReplyDelete