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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.


Monday, January 14, 2013

The return of Spam comments! But first...

...the KHL had its All-Star game yesterday, which I watched on delay on ESPN3 (because I didn't want to get up at 5:30 AM.  The game was much like the last Pro Bowl, with the West side taking a lot less seriousness in it and getting hammered 18-11.  The two boys from Lokomotiv had mixed results.  Sergei Plotnikov got an assist on a late goal from Torpedo's Michael  Varnakov; Staffan Kronwall played defense like he was a gardener watching nearby kids playing.  There were some fun things:  a discussion between the two announcers about former NHLer Alexander Radulov (who had a goal and 3 assists) and his lack of success in the NHL:  "...they say he has million-dollar talent but a dime brain", and "all those tools but no toolbox".  Another discussion about league leading scorer Sergei Mozyakin, who'd had three breakaways get stymied (he finally scored 18 ticks into the third) about his efforts:  "They used to call that 'a lot of Swedish, but no Finnish' ".  The best hit of the game, midway through the first stanza when two west players ran into each other behind the net.

But the best moment was goalie Konstantine Barulin's.  After a goal by the west, with their goalie pulled and 30-odd seconds left, he lined up on the next face-off as a skater, was given the puck, and scored into the empty net, only to have it waved off- since he was lined up as a skater and not a goalie, his goalie stick was illegal.  But his BEST moment was the night before, at the "best dancer" competition:

Now, hometown boy Evgeny Kuznetsov might have gotten MVP for his 4-goal game, but I think the player that worked the hardest and did the best was west goalie Vasily Koshechkin of Severstal.  Despite giving up 10 goals in his 31-shot half of the game, he made a bunch of spectacular (under the circumstances) saves, including most of the stops on Mozyakin.


Okay, let's look into Chris' mailbag and see what silliness we can find this week.  Before I get to the "comment" section, I have to mentioned the "regular" scam-mail I got today wanting me to look into a job as a mystery shopper.  First, whoever has "SSN 2013" at Guilford College, your e-mail has been hacked.  Second, if you as a scammer want me as an idiot to send you my personal info in hopes of applying for your ficticious job, you might want to come up with a better closing that, "Sincerely, MANAGER".  Just sayin'.

Okay, contestant #1 comes from my beer cap blog:

… Unbelievable , but I just found software which can do all hard work promoting your website on complete autopilot - building backlinks and getting your website on top of Google and other search engines 1st pages, so your site finally can get laser targeted qualified traffic, and so you can get lot more visitors for your website.
YEP, that’s right, there’s this little known website which shows you how to get to the top 10 of Google and other search engines guaranteed.
I used it and in just 7 days… got floods of traffic to my site...
…Well check out the incredible results for yourself -
I’m not trying to be rude here, but I believe when you find something that finally works you should share it…
…so that’s what I’m doing today, sharing it with you:

Take care - your friend George

Well, gee, thanks George, but I don't think I'm losing sleep over traffic issues.
Coherence:  Good- which means not amusing.  I will give kudos to putting the link twice since it smacks of TV commercials repeating their phone number four times in a row. 2.
Relevance: Even ambiguousness fails on a specialty blog. 3.
Link:  C'mon, George, we need laugh value here. 1.
Score: 2.00.

Contestant #2 comes from Jo-Anne's Ramblings, who I think they think needs cash now:
Instead, as the disclaimer will explain, they merely act as a
medium between you and real online payday loan companies.
Perhaps frequent holidays are being charged or endless hours at
the malls doing more than window shopping. If the fee for borrowing was $20 and you extend it, you will more then
likely own another $20 for keeping the money for just a
few days extra.
Feel free to visit my site ; payday loans online

Coherence:  Always a good idea to start in mid-sentence. And the "Perhaps frequent holidays..." sentence made SO much sense.  4.
Relevance:  I belive this was a post right after she had a trip to New Zealand, so the "holidays" reference fits in. 1.
Link: Ah, the ubiquitous payday loans.  0 due to overuse.
Score: 1.67.

Contestant #3 comes from a rant of mine against the UN:
What's up to every single one, it's really a fastidious for
me to visit this website, it includes precious Information.
Also visit my homepage :

Coherence:  Avoided like the plague.  5.
Relevance: All of my posts contain precious information. 3.
Link:  Means "Let's go Turkey".  Either yet another of Turkey's innumerable spam real-estate sites, or a message from the American turkey council.  3.
Score:  3.67.

Contestant #4 is another of my posts, from the story about the fake Noah's ark:
If you're a beginner collector, take the time to study the market, learning as much as you can and developing a discriminating eye. Other care tips for luxury watches include:. There have been many success stories down the years and many bankrupt stories.
Feel free to visit my web site ...

I didn't know that collecting supposedly-ancient 100ft.-plus ships was a big thing.
Coherence: Pretty good, which means a low score. 1.
Relevance: Unless there is a luxury watch out there with Noah's Ark on it's face, I'd say none. 4.
Link: this is a German payday loans site.  1.
Score: 2, plus a bonus to put it past the first one.  2.01.

Contestant # 5 is from Waiting For God, from an immortal post called "Abbott and Costello Explain Unemployment":
Hi friends, how is all, and what you desire to say about
this post, in my view its in fact amazing in support of me.
Take a look at my web site super casino

Coherence:  You find it, let me know.  5.
Relevance: Really hard to tell.  4.
Link:  That was what won me over, seeing (the author) at a super casino.  4.
Score: 4.33.

Contestant six is from Juli at Surviving Boys:
I have read so many аrtіcleѕ concernіng the blogger loverѕ excеρt
thiѕ artіcle is gеnuinely a good ρaragraph,
keep іt up.
Also visit my website :: advice how to get your ex back
Coherence: Acceptible. 1.
Relevance:  It was more than one paragraph, so 1.
Link: Without telling tales, this was what put this one on the list.  6, just for the anti-relevance.
Score: 2.67.

At this point I want to bring up a couple of non-contestants.  I had yet another from Al Penwasser's Made In Spain post, solely noteworthy for this comment:
Nonetheless, the posts are too quick for starters.
May you please prolong them a little from next time?

Al, you're just not windy enough!

The other one was a comment to the recent picture post with Laurie tramping through the woods in her slippers looking for deer- from a Polish payday loans site.  Insert your own ethnically-inappropriate joke here, if you want.

Also, I have movie site allegedly wanting to do a guest post.  About what, may I ask?

Contestant #7 is a brief one from Grumpy Old Ken's blog:
hepatitus c dating sites world dating partners muscle vegetarian
As much as I'd like to explore "hepatitus c dating sites"...

Coherence: Absolutely none. 4.
Relevance:  I can't imagine hep-c dating sites are relevant to anything. 3.
Link:  You know the rules- no hyperlink, -2.
Score: losing a point to break the tie, 1.57.

And that is it, other than a couple of other non-contest mentions: one, a comment on what a great job I did on one of my posts, linked to "Neck Pain"; the other, a comment on Momto8blog linked to "Predator Costume."  WTH?

And so, the scoreboard:

Super casino:  4.33
Let's go Turkey: 3.67
Get your ex back: 2.67
Fake Noah's Ark watches: 2.01
George's traffic autopilot: 2.00
Frequent Holidays: 1.67
Hep-C dating: 1.57

Congrats to WFG for the win this time!


  1. That video's awesome. I can't even stand up on skates, let alone dance. I'm so glad hockey is back.

    And I don't know what it is, but Google's done a crap job of filtering spam comments lately. Also, I wonder if spam comments ever work. Like, would someone really see your payday loan spam comment and think hey, you know what, I need a payday loan. Let's click that sucker and make this happen!

  2. CWM:
    Man, I am crying-laughing over here at the spam YOU get...!
    I figured you didn't have that many "hard-hitters" this week...but they ARE humorous.

    Be thankful you never get all those "365 day loans" (mostly from nations that have a lot FEWER coins to rub against one another than WE do here) or the infamous "lottery win" (from S. Africa) via any country BUT S. Africa.

    Talk about having an AISLE SEAT in the Theater of the Absurd...pass the popcorn, Buddy.

    Stay safe uip there.