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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.

SOCK IT TO ME BABY!!!

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Lotsa Little bits vol. 18

ITEM:  I sure wanted to post something yesterday, but I had nothink, NOTHINK!  I thought it was me, but the world seems to have just been boring yesterday.  Today, we both stepped up our game, so here goes!

ITEM: I'll get to the scores in a bit, but I just have to say this about the AIHL website first.  It is NOT cool to STILL, 3 days later, not have a boxscore up for one of your Sunday games, when you have a headline at the top of your website news list that says, and I quote, " Don't Keep Hockey Fans Waiting!"  No, it wasn't about their ability to update the website, but it sure coulda been...

ITEM:  I just want to take this moment to address the Radical Muslims, the Taliban, al-Qaeda, and all you other bozos out there.  Attacking a Red Cross base, REALLY?  You people are freaking retards!  (Now, I know that some of you might be offended by the term I just used, "retard".  But what better word expresses these people, who are challenged in the basic things you need to be human?  I would never use this term to describe those with disabilities that limit their successful contact with society.  These excuses for mankind do not fall in that category, and thus I feel the use is warranted.)  And if your "god" told you to do stuff like this, then he is a freaking retard as well!  Instead of sullying the non-violent members of your faith by calling him Allah, perhaps you should just say he is an aspect of Moronicus, the Greek god of dipshittery and bodies without brains.



ITEM:  On the subject of the above, a reasonably-intelligent seeming lady called in on Rush today and pointed out that a certain liberal group had been denied tax-exempt status by the IRS, which was proof that the IRS wasn't just targeting Tea Party conservatives.  EXCEPT, lady, that the IRS upper echelon AND President Obutthole ADMITTED that they targeted conservative and Tea Party groups!  You have one group, and there are TWENTY-FIVE TP groups filing suit against the IRS.  Once again showing that, no matter how intelligent they sound, the left have an amazing ability to hear just what they want to hear.  To her credit, she admitted, "I'll have to research that."  Ya think?

ITEM:  Either it's been too rainy, too hot, or I've been too laid out, to go a walking in the deep woods.  but here's a pic to tide you over:

Joe Cool, my ass!
subITEM:  Blogger fought me tooth and nail putting this up, even after I put it on Picassa.  Whatcher problem today?

ITEM:  Is anyone else having problems with the concept of Johnny Depp as the Lone Ranger?  To me, kinda like having Jim Carey as Captain America.

ITEM:  The right headline can turn a middling story into an approaching apocalypse.  On FoxNews today, there was the story of beavers returning to wild areas of Belarus, after being hunted to near-extinction.  Only thing is, they aren't playing well with some members of the human population, who tend to wander too close to their staked-out territory.  So along comes a fisherman who sees a beaver on the side of the road, and tells his friends it looks like a good place for a photo op.  Only the beaver in question (obviously a Justin Bieber fan) doesn't care for being grabbed in the commission of photography, and bit through an artery- the fisherman promptly bleeds out as a result of his own stupidity.  (Another worshipper of Moronicus, perhaps?)  And the headline to this story?

FISHERMAN DIES AS BEAVERS ATTACK IN BELARUS

I can do this to a tree with my teeth... an' you wanna pick me up?

ITEM:  The first time I heard this kind of story, I thought it was funny- someone stupid enough to go to a "back-alley" plastic "surgeon" to get a butt-lift, only to find they use construction silicone.  This time it's hard to laugh.  The woman in the story, as a result of not one, but TWO treatments before she finally thought something's wrong here, spent a month in an induced coma, had both hands, both feet, and her buttocks amputated- and now figures out that vanity isn't worth it.  This time I don't put it up for laughs.  I put it up to say, YOU ARE FINE THE WAY YOU ARE.

ITEM:  Here's to the latest in a long list of burger-flippers that are smarter than those who rob them.  This time, while the dastardly duo rob the front of a Burger King in Stockton, CA, another employee slips out the back to get help- and finds the getaway car, ENGINE RUNNING, just sitting there.  Naturally, said employee took it for a little spin, making it easier for the cops to catch the now on-foot villains.  Q:  How can you tell a burger flipper is smarter than a thug?  A: the flipper WORKS.

ITEM:  The temperature gauge hereabouts topped off at near 90 degrees ( for you Celsius people, that equals "damn, I shoulda wore my shoes before crossing that asphalt").  Which brings up another thing about my new job which is better than my old one.  On a day like this at job #1, you worked at half speed, sweat like a pig, and wished loudly that they'd sent you home early.  At job #2 (air conditioned warehouse), you look at the clock about 2 PM and say, "I wonder how hot it is?"

ITEM: Wrapping up, here's what I gleaned about the ice in Oz this week.  Sadly, Adelaide let me down, getting corked twice this weekend.  Saturday, the North Stars tanked them 7-4, with Dominic Osmun scoring twice, and P.O. Coitner and Jeff Martens each picking up a goal and 2 assists.

At least things were worse for Canberra, as they got lit up 9-1 by the Ice.  Melbourne's top team outshot the Knights 44-21, 20-3 in just the opening period!  John Gordon, a vet of the Dutch leagues having a hand at it down south, snagged a hat trick and Jason Baclig got 2 more.   Chris Slauenwhite got pulled after the 8th goal, leaving the rest of the game in the hands of Brad Hunt, seeing his first action since the 2006-7 season.

And the Ice Dogs downed Perth 5-3, breaking loose when they scored twice (once on a power play, once when they were shorthanded) in 32 seconds of the second.  Matt Puntieri got the pp goal and scored 2 more in the last period to salt it away.

Sunday was more bad news for the Ads, losing to Sydney's Bears 6-2.  Luc Blain got the only two scores for Adelaide, while 6 different Bears tallied against Rick Parry.

Sydney didn't get a second win on Sunday, though; Matt Strueby, fresh from the U. Of Regina,  scored for the second time with just 32 seconds left as Perth (who blew an early 4-1 lead) knocks them off 6-5.

And in the game that the league still doesn't have a box score for, Jamie Bourke had a hat trick to lead the Mustangs to a 5-3 win over luckless Canberra.   So, now it's still a three team race, with the North Stars and the Ice Dogs at 18 points, the Ice at 16.  The Bears (12) and the 'Stangs (11) are also in double figures, but the rest of the crew drift farther and farther behind. 

Adelaide has a pair at home next weekend against the Bears.

8 comments:

  1. A better explanation for the term 'retard' I have never heard. Nicely done.

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  2. Picassa-what they do in Naples if proper hygiene is not followed.

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    Replies
    1. Leave it to the man with a toilet in his yard...

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  3. Um. I had no idea you could have your butt amputated. Yikes.

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    1. Yep. Not sure they have a hoveround for that one.

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  4. I really enjoy reading your Little Bits posts. And I REALLY like the line where you explained how Burger Flippers were smarter than thugs. lol. Made my day!

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    1. I wish the thugs could see it that way. I'd give up a few laughs for a few less stupid people.

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