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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.

SOCK IT TO ME BABY!!!

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

"You argue like a liberal"

That's what I told a dude on Facebook today.  Considering he was allegedly a conservative, I'm sure he took it as a polite insult, which means I succeeded.  But having to say that to him exposes the fallacy in the statement.  I have bumbled in to arguments with people of every stripe on FB, and I would imagine the reason why it struck me to phrase it that way was because of the side I usually argue from.  But I see now that there are people like this guy in every group.  Let me explain how to- for want of a better term (or sheer laziness in formulating one) argue like a Facebook "liberal":

1.  You must come into the discussion with some self-righteous comment or post.  "Of course, I know you all will agree when I say..." must be the air you give off.  It also helps if your response is a smug statement of how you bear no responsibility whatsoever for the bad consequences of your position.  (In this case, the alleged conservative felt that he was in the right and I was stupid for voting for Romney when he wasn't the perfect candidate that came down from conservative heaven, and that I may as well not have voted and just let Obama screw things up worse.)

2. To make it fun, your victim must be someone that you would actually have common ground with if you weren't just out for a fight.  That way, you can totally frustrate them by ignoring the fact that you agree on anywhere from 40-90% of the topic.  My Dad was a master at this.  And he didn't live long enough to dream of Facebook.

3.  When the other person makes a comment that expresses their disagreement- no matter how much they disagree- you must form a self-righteous, self-serving, very subjective question for them to answer.  This is obstensibly to find out what the other person is thinking, but is actually to be used later on so you can claim, "You never answered my question."

4.  Prior to the "You didn't answer" part, read the other person's response, focusing only on buzz words so you aren't infected by any foreign logic. Reply with, "you are an idiot because you disagree with me," in such a way that they know they are insulted, but just polite enough to encourage another attempt of theirs to talk reason to you.

5.  If this has provoked a less polite response like this:

then you have succeeded.  You may finish with a self-righteous, "See how you people are," or my Dad's favorite, "Why are you yelling?  I'm not yelling."  If, however, you get a reasoned response that at most contains an exasperated observation of your tendency to insult, then it it time to start in with, "Why won't you answer my question?"

6.  Now you separate the men from the boys, victim-wise.  Some will find a link to disprove your theory.  Others, such as myself, will find exactly where you answered the question already, and paste it into the next comment.  Others will now refer to the picture above.  You only now have to deal with the first two groups.

7A.  To deal with group #1, simply find any article from MSNBC that deals even tangently with the process, knowing full well that anyone with an ounce of sense will say, "If they watch MSNBC, there's nobody home anyway," and bail.  Then you can triumphantly put some stupid self-glorifying comment in as the last word and pat yourself on the back.

7B.  For group number 2, it's time to change the rules, as my guy did.

"uhhhhhhhhhhhhh... yeah fine.

Trouble being, your repetitive rant has nothing to do with the reality of what I posted. Fixate much?"


Trouble being, it might not have been so repetitive if you hadn't kept asking the same question I answered every time you asked, amigo.  Trouble is, the reality of what you posted was not something I agree with, and all your badgering isn't going to bring me there.  Trouble is, your attitude in this case was, "If I can't vote for fill-in-the-blank, I'm not going to vote at all, and continue to bash the poor bastard that got elected as if I did."  But you see here, he has changed the rules- he has created a subject that never existed- and still doesn't as far as I can see- and says, "This is what I've been saying all along."  In other words, rewrite history so that this argument that never existed becomes the argument you just won.  Now you can post your stupid self-glorifying last word and pat yourself on the back.

And that, my friends, is how to "argue like a FB liberal"- or conservative, or atheist, or religious zealot, or what have you.

19 comments:

  1. So Facebook Liberal sounds to me like a euphemism for stupid people.

    The idjits.

    Well, CW, I am convinced that the idjits will win. Maybe have won.

    Why you say?

    Simple-they have the numbers.

    They are breeding faster than people of reason.

    If you look around at what our country has become, in our lifetimes, you have all the proof you need.

    Oh, I'm sorry-I called Facebook Liberals stupid...that's probably a hate crime.

    LC

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    Replies
    1. As I often reply to such comments, read the little red line over Nixon's head at the top.

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    2. >>... As I often reply to such comments, read the little red line over Nixon's head at the top.

      I have read that numerous times. I still don't understand it. (And the last time I checked, I was one of the most literate people I know.) Could you maybe elaborate on that?

      More importantly... I would be interested in reading the entire exchange you referred to here. Would you mind posting a link to the thread where the entire debate occurred? Thanks, Brother Martin!

      ~ D-FensDogg
      'Loyal American Underground'

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    3. Nice people will go out of their way to be nice. Stupid people seek you out to spread stupidity. Not so hard to understand, really.

      Delete
    4. OK, thanks.

      How about a link to the discussion? I'm curious to read the back and forth of it.

      ~ D-FensDogg
      'Loyal American Underground'

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    5. I'm not real anxious to reveal a lot of direct quotes as this is "a friend of a friend". Basically, though, I began things by innocently mentioning on an anti-dem post that instead of all the "thank a dem when" posts we get, how about the conservatives who refused to vote AGAINST Obama take a little responsibility for helping foist the POTUS on the rest of us. He believes that if I can't vote for the guy that exactly matches my principles, then let everyone elect whomever, and let that one lead them into hell itself if necessary, so that when next election comes, the suffering will lead them to vote for my guy. I told him several times that I just don't agree with that. I think that you HAVE to choose the best available, and if baby steps is all you get, at least you aren't going backwards. And that that was why I posted what I did. He was determined to get me into an argument over my principles. Well, to me, his principles got Chris Stevens killed, among other things, and I wasn't going to have it.

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  2. It has taken me a long time to figure out that FB is not a place for intelligent discourse. It is a place to post pics of your dog or kids (if you have them), find old friends, and post inane things about what you've been up to... the further away from reality, the better. Facebook and reality do not mix well.

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  3. And you have just described EVERY political show on television.

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    Replies
    1. Hence I don't what them. I can read the same stories and not have to worry about yelling.

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  4. We all know, contrary to DiscConnected comment, the proper phrase is "What SAY you?" In that order! I'll now accept all agreements and condescend to all contrary opinions.
    You are totally right. There's a weird trigger in the brain that causes people to dig in and lob stupid bombs. At some point a you become so entrenched in your own ideas that you won't accept any logical discussion. I wonder what that is. Is it the fervent desire to be part of a group and thus accept the hive-mind-think?
    This is why I'm glad I follow you. You and I are on different ends of the political spectrum (not opposing, just different) but on the same point of the reasonable human spectrum.

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    Replies
    1. Believe it or not, the idiot just asked the same question yet again. I was not polite in my response this time.

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  5. I don't understand some people's logic when it comes to many things but politics is the worst arena for common sense, it seems. I can't stand when it resorts to name calling rather than fact based debate.

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    Replies
    1. You won't want to see my final response to him then...

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  6. Chris:
    I heard a term that I have a feeling we'll be hearing a LOT more of in the near-future.

    IDEOLOGICAL BIGOTRY.

    And this always applies to LIBERALS who can get away saying anything about anyone who doesn't lockstep into THEIR mindset.
    Funny how THEY get the free-pass...while everyone else can't even think anything similar.
    (not that they'd really want to)

    Yes, that IS being a bigot.
    Thank you, socialist-progressive buttwipes for giving us such correct terminology to describe YOUR shortcomings and bias.

    Good post.

    Stay safe up there.

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    Replies
    1. Who better to figure out the label...

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  7. Aw, gee, I am so sorry. My intentions are good; but, I am so often misunderstood.

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  8. Ah, yes, I remember this one.

    Of course, Liberals will always denigrate your intelligence because if you don't see it their way, then obviously you are mentally retarded.

    And the pseudo-Atheists will always tell you that you don't know the first thing about "science" if you don't believe in "Evilution". As if there is some real "science" backing up the theory of "Evilution". ...Talk about retards! Ask them to produce the science and they just start spouting more theory based on conjecture based on the way they wish things really were. Retards!

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

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