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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.


Friday, August 8, 2014

Time Machine week 16

It's August 8, 1972.   And today Chief of Naval Operations Admiral Elmo Zumwalt orders the Navy to accept women as on-board personnel, aviators, and candidates for the Naval Academy.  He says:

"There will be some who are concerned. But when you look at the level to which our society has developed, there is no reason in theory, in sociology or in equity why women should not have the same opportunities the men have".

Call me a chauvinist (look it up, kids), but I see it as a sad day when men allow women to be killed in war.  Makes me question "the level to which our society has developed" when getting more people involved in war instead of less is a good thing.  I'm not saying women can't do the job, but that they shouldn't have to- or want to.

According to wiki, he also allowed beer dispensers in barracks, too.  Now THERE'S an idea!

Welcome to this week's Time Machine- a week that will be dominated yet again by stories gleaned from the Top Top Ten!  Prepare for:  The hit song made from a TV commercial- and they really should have asked permission first; the most top ten hits from the beginning of a career; the beginning of another long running feature- the songs with the most PHYSICAL records sold; and a certain Beagle makes an appearance- and it's not Scrappy!  Welcome to the week that saw the first charting action for Michael Jackson's Ben, Gallery's I Believe In Music, Jackson Browne's Rock Me On The Water, Arlo Guthrie's City Of New Orleans, and the third and final attempt of Nights In White Satin to crack the top 40.  All aboooooard!

Waitaminit!  What do you mean, "It's not SCRAPPY?"

Just like (or similar to) last week, I'll kick things off with this week's top 40 debuts.  Joe Simon, who was recently in the top ten with Drowning In A Sea Of Love, climbs 5 to hit #40 with Power Of Love (and know it's not any of the versions you hear nowdays).  Next comes our biggest mover within the countdown, Bread and The Guitar Man, moving 17 spots to #39.  Then comes prog-rock band Flash, featuring former Yes member Peter Banks, with Small Beginnings, which climbs 6 to #37.

Next is the last big hit for Sonny and Cher.  It's called, When You Say Love, and as you might guess, it takes after the famous When You Say Budweiser ads that began two years earlier.  So much in fact, that lawyers for Steve Karmen, the "king of jingles", who wrote it, won a substantial settlement (even though one site claims Sonny asked Karmen permission before commissioning a couple of country songwriters to work it into a pop song).  Funny how a man who just sang A Cowboy's Work Is Never Done would get sued by a Clydesdale horse, but so goes the life of Sonny Bono.

And the high debut goes to the later-notorious Gary Glitter with Rock And Roll, Part 2 (and no, I'm not checking out part one), climbing a quick 14 to #30.  Annnnd.... you may have noticed, Chris hasn't put in the "song I never heard except for Time Machine" video yet.  Be patient... it just isn't one of the top 40 debuts.

Since all my attempts at pulling a neat story from the top 40 dwindled to Sonny Bono, and I was thwarted in finding someone new and exciting for the long-dormant 45 @ 45 again this week, this time by Tom Jones, I had to look in this week's top top ten.  This week we are in 1967, and I managed to cobble together two neat stories (and a video) from what we'll find there.  But before I start, I have to tell you that one of those neat stories comes from the song at #10 on my top top ten from 1967, the last week of January that year.  I found it was tied with another act for the most top tens at the start of a career in the '60s.  So, I naturally looked to see what act held the all-time record- and found that this act and the one tied with it were the only ones of the Martin Era!  So this time we'll look at the expanded list calculated by Billboard- and why I think it's just a bit off.

The top act, with 13 singles at the beginning of a career- and in fact, the one at #2 as well- could be disqualified because it was the beginning of their solo careers, after a long run with a successful band (and no, neither one were Beatles!).  That top act with 13 top tens is Lionel Richie; the second act with 12 is George Michael.  I can also deflate Michael even further, because two of the ones BB counted were songs by another act FEATURING George Micheal, which would drop him to 10, and slide him down to fourth.  There is a third place tie on the BB count at 11 between Mariah Carey and... Lady Gaga.  Then you drop to New Kids On The Block at 9, and Bruno Mars with a streak of 8- but again, it counted songs that he was merely featured on.  That brings us to a massive 9-way tie with 7 straight top tens.  Among them were almost but not quite Martin Era acts Richard Marx and Air Supply, just before ME act Rick Nelson, and the two that tied for the most in the 60's (and the ME).  One of those were Gary Lewis and the Playboys.  The other is the band at #10 on our Top Top Ten:

10- Nashville Cats, The Lovin' Spoonful.  Also known as "what we all thought the Tennessee Titans NFL team should have been named."

Moving on..

9- We Ain't Got Nothin' Yet, the Blues Magoos.  One of the opening salvos of psychedelia.

8- Kind Of A Drag, the Buckinghams.  A song I love more with every hearing.

7- Standing In The Shadows Of Love, the Four Tops.  Not only the second year in a row for them to be in the Top Top Ten, but the second one in a row to have a song about standing in the shadows (remember the Stones last week?)

6- Words Of Love, the Mamas and the Papas.  I don't care about the rest, Michelle Phillips was hot!

5- Good Thing, Paul Revere and the Raiders. Co-written by Terry Melcher, Mark Lindsay's one time roommate, record producer for many acts including Brian Wilson, and speculated target of the Manson Family.

4- Georgie Girl, the Seekers.  One of my top ten of the sixties, and the second time in the feature for the band.

3- Tell It Like It Is, Aaron Neville.  Though Heart did a good job on their cover, this man's voice is like that old commercial, "Imitated, but never duplicated."

2-  Snoopy vs The Red Baron, the Royal Guardsmen.  Did you know they got back together and did a song called Snoopy vs Osama in 2006?  It was so-so.  Much better was this one from 1968- a song that had a German-accented list of the actual candidates at the beginning cut out after Bobby Kennedy's assassination:

And with that, we're going to hold off on #1 for just a bit.  Just to take care of a couple odds and ends.  First, our You Peaked segment brings in a song I surely thought should have gone farther- Procol Harum's Conquistador, which stopped at #18 last week.  Also, our top ten features one new song, so one drops out.  That one is Lean On Me, sagging from 6 to 12.

All right, now for the number one on our Top Top Ten.....

1- I'm A Believer, the Monkees.  This song went gold after just two days, due to over a million advance orders.  In fact, it became one of 32 songs currently listed as having sold over 10 million physical copies.  So I thought it would be fun to have a look at the full list.  Wiki breaks it into segments, and I'm not sure if the songs are in order within the segments.  Still, we shall go from the bottom up, and do five songs a week.  These first five are all in the "over ten million" range.

The first five:

Roy Acuff and the Crazy Tennesseeans, The Wabash Cannonball.  Though the main list shows a release date of 1942, most of my sources show it recorded in 1936, and Music VF shows it at a US peak of #12 in 1938.

Procol Harum, Whiter Shade Of Pale.  They make up for the lack of love earlier here, hitting #1 in the UK, the Netherlands, Germany, Ireland, and Australia (and #5 here) in 1966-7.

Panjabi MC, Mundian To Bach Ke.  The devil, you say?  This guy is a English citizen who combines hip-hop with a Punjabi folk style called Bhangra.  This tune, whose title means Beware Of The Boys, is based on the theme music to, believe it or not, (I had to listen to it again to hear it) Knight Rider.  It hit top ten all over the world in 1998 (except here, where it got to #33) and to the top in, of all places, Belgium and Italy.

Then comes I'm A Believer, which started this whole thing, and above them:

Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep, Middle Of The Road.  Easily my pick for "favorite band I never knew before Time Machine", Sally Carr and the boys score big everywhere but the US of A, hitting the top in the UK, Ireland, Switzerland, Norway, Denmark, Spain, and Belgium.

And that, at last, brings us to this week's top ten:

The Hollies make the top ten, and the top 40 for only the third time since 1968's Jennifer Eccles, with Long Cool Woman moving up a pair to #10.

Godspell commences a string of four straight songs that move up one notch, going to #9 with Day By Day.

Mouth And MacNeil move to #8 with How Do You Do.

Roberta and Donnie claim #7 with Where Is The Love.

And Alice Cooper finishes out the string of one-spotters with School's Out edging up to #6.

Last week's top dog, The Cornelius Bros and Sister Rose, slip to #5 with Too Late Too Turn Back Now.

Luther Ingram holds his position at 4 with If Loving You Is Wrong, etc.

Now we move into the business end of this week's ten, with Looking Glass moving up a pair to #3 with Brandy (You're A Fine Girl).

Slipping into the runner up spot, Gilbert O'Sullivan with Alone Again Naturally.

And that means the top spot goes to.....

....Wayne Newton and Daddy Don't You Walk So Fast!!!!!!!!!!!!

ANNNNNNNNNNNNNND that's a wrap for this week!  See you next time!


  1. Allowing women to be killed in war. I soooo agree with your views on that. Sadly, it has gotten so very worse. Now they're looking at allowing women in combat units. Wonder how the sight of a female corpse being dragged by animals through some Middle East shithole will play on the evening news? Yeah, a rhetorical question. The hand-wringing simpering idiots who are so concerned with equal rights fail to recognize that war is a brutal, brutal thing. And not some lame-ass social experiment. But, it's easy to say ladies can play at being combat soldiers. Hey...why don't you see women in the NFL? Because people don't shell out hundreds of dollars to watch war games (or the real thing).
    Before I end my rant:
    Admiral Zumwalt was a blithering idiot.

    1. I was hoping you, as my expert in all things Naval, would put in your two cents. I think you already start at a disadvantage when your folks name you Elmo.

      BTW, how about the music?

  2. >>... "I'm not saying women can't do the job, but that they shouldn't have to - or want to."

    That's OK... I'll say it for you:


    This is a subject I have studied every which way from Sunday over many years, and if anyone wants to argue the point with me... Here I be... Let's get it on! (As Marvin Gaye might say.)

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

    1. Ye Gods, did anyone get past the first paragraph? To me, in all seriousness, the point of whether they CAN do the job or not is the fact that they SHOULDN'T be doing it. If you want so bad to prove your equal to or better than men, do it in a GOOD pursuit.

  3. If they "CAN'T" do the job, then any other question (such as: "Should they do it / try to do it?") becomes immediately irrelevant.

    It's too damned important of a question to speculate beyond whether or not they can do the job. One has GOTTA START with THAT question before any other question ought to be considered.

    If they CAN do the job, THEN we can ask whether or not they should... or should WANT TO. But there's no point in asking Question 2 and 3 before Question 1 has been answered CONCLUSIVELY. (There's no reason to put the cart before the horse BEFORE we KNOW that the horse can push the cart.)

    And... as I said before... I have ALL the evidence necessary to answer Question 1... CONCLUSIVELY.

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

    1. The thing is though, the first question can be answered by others- some with agendas- in various shades. For example, on Deadliest Catch this year, Captain Sig allowed his young daughter to work on the ship. She found out fairly conclusively that she did NOT have the physicality to do the job. But it still didn't dissuade her that she SHOULDN'T do it.

      All women have to do to "qualify" physically is to get someone to lower the bar. With a bar low enough, I could be a marathoner, lol. And this is the trends, with more and more police and fire departments having to lower the bar to let in "qualified" minorities and women. And that brings me back to my point, which is women don't need to be content where they are, or "barefoot and pregnant", but they need to shift attention from doing something just because a man has always done it and TO activities that they can do BETTER. That is where the equality of the sexes should be generated, not in a fricking tank.

      Gee, this is fun! Just like in the old days, when my dad and his brother could argue the same side of any debate indefinitely- or until Aunt Cleo told 'em to shut up!

  4. Well, I could definitely offer an intelligent response to your last comment but... instead... I'll just do like Aunt Cleo says.

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

    1. Probably for the best. Then we could get back to the rest of the post...

  5. Chris:
    I always looked at Zumwalt as a cross between Joe Biden and Donald Trump...had some good sense, but every once in a while,. he WOULD fall off the turnip truck.
    --Yeah, Lionel Ritchie had a period where everything he touched turned to "gold":.
    -- Agreed that Michelle Phillips was HOT, but she would NEVER he spreading herself on MY E-TYPE JAG...or even my
    (that's a Bobby G "no-no".)
    -- Good to see LONG COOL WOMAN made that cut...great song.
    -- Totally unexpected w/ the Wayne Newton song...Mom used to love that one.

    Excellent ride this week.'
    Stay safe up there