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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.


Wednesday, June 15, 2016

X-Ray of Haney's head shows nothing

A while back, I'm sure I told you all of the trials and travails we have had at my job with the "new" cutting machine we got from our Missouri plant.  In the five or six short weeks we have had it, we have replaced the computer board on the machine itself, changed the conveyor belt (only to discover that the boards underneath were just as bad, and will have to wait until the next belt replacement- 6 months or more down the line- to replace them), had our IT people come down to work out various bugs (which fell into three categories- "fixed", "we don't know how to fix this, it's a cutting machine company issue", and "it is what it is"), replaced two axial motors, and learned to work with the various dear traits it exhibits.  But today may have finished it off for the time being.

This morning I tried to fire up the Haney (Named after the Pat Buttram salesman character from Green Acres, because we HAD to have bought it from him), and the screen came up "Windows is closing"- apparently it had been closing since I shut it down (or thought I did) some 15 1/2 hours before.  After taking a couple of minutes in trying to convince it to finish shutting down, I finally rebooted.  I signed in.  And then it told me, "Windows cannot open your settings.  The default settings are being opened. "  Along with a 30-second timer.  And then the usual desktop screen came up- with NO icons.

After some contact back and forth with the IT guy (who is in Minnesota in preparation for the upcoming executive meetings), it was determined that the computer running the cutter would have to be sent to him so he could determine WTH was going on.  Moments later, the Haney was lobotomized.  Leaving me with one machine, a fellow cutter who has worked approximately 10 and change of the last 40 working hours, and enough prototype "hot" orders (all of which were fubared to one extent or another) to leave me completely buried.

Days like this are a struggle for me (no kidding, Elroy?) because I start a day with every intent to do the best job I can and events like these just leave me feeling less and less accomplished until my frustration becomes a big mental/emotional boil that needs lanced.  The only solution I have found is to do the smart thing- just give up and say "Que sera sera"- and hope someone wanders by to give me a good laugh.  Luckily, we had that aforementioned long list of fubared protos, and eventually I hit one that had a panel so goofed it looked like a chronic alcoholic off the wagon designed it, and the crisis for me was over.  However, by this time my boss had passed "awesome", skipped "wonderful", and moved up to "Outstanding," which on HIS anger scale is about a Level Three Snow Emergency.  His will to not react hotly is astounding at times, and pushed to near his limit he still won the battle.  A battle I could only win (actually survive) by not giving a crap anymore.


My next story comes to you from porn spammers, who evidently borrowed my address from Bob (jk) and hit me up about once a week now.  Not a big deal, but one of them had a turn of phrase I just had to share:

Undress me with your eyes tied up!

Still not sure how to accomplish this...  But still not gonna click the link to learn how...


In lieu of a real Martin World News post, how about a couple of headlines?


Study Learns Chicago Criminals DON'T Buy Their Guns Legally

A Chicago State University study, reported by Breitbart.



Yep- Lady cried, "Help, he's stealing my bike!"  Rancher jumped on his horse and lassoed the perp.  Surprise surprise, a transient from Seattle...


Spanish town's giant dog dropping goes walkies (yep, a BBC headline)

That's right, a three-meter-tall, 66 lb. inflatable dog pile was stolen in the Spanish town of  Torrelodones- part of a campaign to, er, stomp out not picking up puppy waste.  At least this one was inflatable- there are others made of concrete all over town.  However, the poop did cost around $2700 and the town would like it back.


  1. I don't know if a giant inflatable poop would make me want to pick up after my dog (if I was an inconsiderate asshole and didn't). I'm pretty sure I'd just want to steal it (since we're assuming I'd be an inconsiderate asshole).

    And last time I tried to undress the wife with my eyes tied up I wound up in the ER, so I would NOT recommend trying it.

    1. My question is: WTH do you do with it once you have it? Little obvious for a garden display...

  2. Chris:
    ---Cripes, you guys damn near REBUILT that machine. No reason for it NOT to work properly now.
    Unless the overall design OF the thing itself is at fault, which could be.
    ---LMAO - "The Haney"...nice.
    (could also call it "The Obama" - something ELSE that doesn't work and full of flaws.)
    ---I've has my share of such "days" and still do, just not as often (thank the Lord). Your desire to do the best gets thwarted and that weighs upon you. I fully understand that.
    ---I'm getting less porn spam and more "money-making" THAT will work (on me) when "sexy naked women" WON'T??
    #1 - ROFLMAO! way too obvious!!!
    (talk about $$$ wasted on THAT study)
    #2 - That rancher deserves the keys to THAT city!
    #3 - Have to say when you spend THAT much on "crap", having it returned is a good thing (at least it prolly didn't smell).
    I'd like to drop those on a LOT of the locals' lawns...heh.

    Good stuff.

    Stay safe up there, brother.

    1. The Haney got it's brains back today, and is no worse for the wear- albeit, no better either.

  3. That lasso story..... I feel like I've been searching for a man like that my whole life.

    People can and will steal literally anything. We have some clients who are kleptos and at this point, I just stop asking why when I read the list of things they stole.

    1. Well, now you know you have to move to Oregon...

  4. Computer issues are so frustrating! Makes me feel so helpless.

    Not sure how one ties up their eyes but that's how I feel when I have a migraine, but I assure you I don't distribute porn, I fight it!

    1. Which reminds me, I am halfway through your book. A lot more goes into the issue than meets the eye, that's for sure.