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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.


Monday, August 22, 2016

You aren't getting older, you're getting dumber

This week was the annual draft for our fantasy football league.  I won't bore you much with the details other than it is our 20th season, from 1997 (when it was just me and the kids) to now (when it's me, KC, Laurie, and Scrappy).  In this endeavor, there are three things that make it really fun.  Third place is congratulating each other after a really good pick.  Second is honestly helping Laurie with her picks.  But the top has to be a tie between guessing the other guys next pick and taking them first, and suggesting the other guy draft somebody even Scrappy wouldn't be dumb enough to draft.  Every now and again, one of those guys will get drafted, so pat KC on the back if Giants RB Paul Perkins does anything, lol!

Anyway, somewhere late in the draft, Laurie tried to take Michael Crabtree, and I said that somebody had taken him.  However, I had forgot to scratch his name off my list, and I didn't see him right away, so I told her to go ahead.  About 5 picks later, we found him on one of KC's teams, so we had her re-draft the spot.  But she didn't need to because the team in question (we each have 4, with Scrappy being one of Laurie's) had somehow an extra pick.  Later on, I discovered that two of us drafted the Oakland Defense (why I don't know), and had to fix that.  Figuring we had it all sussed out, I decided to treat the former hospital patient and current "I have 2 cents in my pockets" to a couple of beers... and then a couple more... and of course a Duck Fart shot... at the local pool bar.

Now another age related boo-boo had already been foremented, but we wouldn't find it until Sunday, so we enjoyed a rousing few games of pool.  I figured I was in big trouble right off the bat when I couldn't get our table to swallow my 4 quarters.  Eventually, we discovered you kinda had to fondle the coins while in their slots to get them JUST right.  The games were a lot like our typical games- a collection of idiotic misses punctuated heavily by BAL, throwing in about 3 balls each of the other guy's put in each game, and the occasional ball that amazingly went in as planned.  But the results ended a little one sided- we each scratched on the 8-ball the first two games, then KC did it twice again, and finally I put in the 8-ball correctly with an amazing shot that was normally well beyond my skill level.  By that time we were ready to go pull up a couple chairs on the veranda in hopes that another bee might come by and make this one well-endowed blonde girl jump up and down in fear (we had already watched this from the window while playing until they drowned the poor soldier with about half of their pitcher of beer).

Which brings us to the next day, a day I had to do some shopping, so I dropped Laurie off and hunted down items at the amazingly ill-stocked Wal-Mart she works at.  My main concern was to get me a new bottle of vitamins- mine had run out days before- and while I managed to forget them, I did manage to get me two bags of my potato chips- just a day after Laurie bought me the same two bags.  Wondering at my sudden-onset dementia (but not realizing the worst was still lying in wait), I decided Scrappy and I would drown my sorrows in a walk.

Sparkly geese

Feather caught a breeze and took off at about 40 knots

"And here I sit while he watches feather-sailing..."

The soccer fields seemed still bone dry- not so the Alumni Center.  Of course, that was leftovers from yesterday's 5-minute hurricane just after the draft.

Beautiful clear day

Two years ago, we named this Mushroom Ridge because of all the fungi everywhere.  Haven't seen one in two seasons...

Now, see, the little kids festival games played just fine.  But the fields where the high school and college kids were going to play are "flooded."  Let's be honest, IPFW- if you don't want your fields messed up with cleats, just plant them all in fricking begonias and have done with it.

Some buttered popcorn looking fungi

In front of our best tree friend, the Big Guy.

See?  Big.

These looked like refugees from the Undersea World of Jacques Cousteau

And shortly after we got home, I got the bright idea of making our league a "preseason schedule" and seeing how we did.  It was then that I discovered between me (pleading old age) and KC ("I was distracted helping Laurie"), one of his teams missed their LAST EIGHT PICKS.  This was a first in 20 years of playing this game!  A phone call and some mutual humility later, we got it all straightened out.  But man, today I made sure I took two vitamins!


  1. Nice "Big" picture. Did you smoke all the shrooms, CW? I know nothing about sports, but missing the last EIGHT picks doesn't sound promising. Well, not unless the promise is a promise to lose every game.

    1. I don't do shroomers anymore. That's for young people who can afford the dead brain cells and the upset tummy that come with them. Luckily, ours isn't a money league, so no one had to die over our gaffe. I'm betting the Rangers will do okay with the stragglers left to them.

  2. Nice photos as always! I love those fungi things in the last pic, though I don't remember what they're called...

    1. Looks like it's called "stalked coral fungus"... which is just about what I woulda guessed.

  3. Chris:
    ---Initially, I though this had something to do with MY age...silly me...LOL.
    ---As for the fantasy sports...don't get involved...sorry.
    ---I haven't shot pool in TOO long a time, my friend (and that cue I have sits downstairs collecting dust).
    I remember day when quarters were NEVER needed to play. You paid BY THE HOUR 9Roosevelt Mall in NE Philly had a great pool "parlor". Old guy ran the place and he could REALLY teach you about trick shots.
    Loved going there with Hank, and could usually get the table we wanted (they had THIRTY) plus DOZENS of different cue sticks.
    ---Bet that blonde you wanted to jump up and down was rather "well-endowed"?
    ---Ahh...another walkabout.
    Love the geese picture (sparkly, indeed).
    ---Yep, those ARE some DRY soccer fields!
    ---Cloudless skies...nice.
    ---You find the oddest fungi.
    ---That path Scrappy's on looks familiar.
    ---The picture of the sun through the trees is marvelous.
    ---Those plants DO look like they belong a few leagues UNDER the sea.
    ---Only TWO vitamins?
    I don't take any, but I do amend my coffee with some Kentucky "grains"...HA!

    Good post.

    Stay safe up there, brother.

    ((That reminds me...might be time for the 2nd annual Martin Nature Walk within a few weeks...yes?))
    **And Monarch Festival at Eagle marsh is Sunday 11 Sep.

    1. I don't tend to put "dumb" and YOU together, Mi amigo.

      -You just let me know if you guys wanna do the autumn leaves thing or sooner, we'll set something up. Get the First Lady to wear more "hiking-friendly" shoes this time, lol!

      She told me about the Monarch thing. I'll try to keep it in mind, but as the story says, age is becoming a factor...

    2. Yeah, Wifey needs something more like "sand shoes"

    3. Don't forget a dickie bow...

  4. Gorgeous walk!! Scrappy is as handsome as ever posing in the sun

    1. Much the same pose he struck with the girls (see next post)...

  5. Older and dumber sounds about right, liked the look of your walk with Scrappy

    1. I'm beginning to think that intelligence against advancing age is a losing battle.