What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.

SOCK IT TO ME BABY!!!

Tuesday, January 30, 2018

Flub Hawaiian style




So the most of the story on the "Hawaiian Missile Crisis" is out now, and if you were a member of the "prolly a Dem who wanted to make Trump look bad" club, you seem to be out of luck.  However, if you are in the "I enjoy a stupid mistake that could have cost lives" group, I am about to make you happy beyond your wildest dreams.


Step one:  Overdo a bad thing

The first problem was a case of the Law of Large Numbers coming through yet again.  "The FCC said Hawaii officials were conducting an “atypical number of no-notice drills” that increased the chances of a mistake happening. "  (from the FoxNews article.)   So why all the drills?

A state official has informed residents of Hawaii that they should create a plan to keep track of their families in the event of a nuclear attack from North Korea, which is about 4,600 miles away. "There will be no time to call our loved ones, pick up our kids and find a designated shelter," Vern Miyagi, an administrator with the Hawaii Emergency Management Agency, told reporters.  (Newsweek)

In fact, my calculations show that if an ICBM went straight to target at full speed, you would have 18 minutes.  Of course, the missile goes in an arc, which adds to that, and there is the additional fact that they have to actually HIT the target:

What's more, the current estimated accuracy of North Korea's weapons may be as poor as six to 12 miles. (US and Russian missiles can hit a target within a couple of hundred feet.) If North Korea targeted San Francisco, for example, there's a chance the bomb could miss the city entirely and detonate over the Pacific Ocean. (Business Insider)

Step two:  Let's make sure no one communicates

Next, let's have a third shift supervisor decide to run one of these apparently too-often tests- schedule it for shift change- and NOT tell the first shift supervisor, at least so he knew what was happening.

When he was handing over at 8am, the outgoing supervisor told the incoming day shift supervisor that he was going to conduct a ballistic missile preparedness drill.

“But there was a miscommunication,” said James Wiley, an FCC legal counsel who presented the report. “The incoming day shift supervisor thought that the midnight shift supervisor intended to conduct a drill for the midnight shift warning officers only (those ending their shift) – not for the day shift officers (those beginning their shift).” (the Guardian)

And thus, no one was paying attention to the key employee, AKA...

Step three:  wrong man for the job

During the investigation, (investigating officer Brig. Gen. Bruce) Oliveira said the employee, who had worked at the agency for 10 years, had a history of confusing drills and real-world events. In fact, the worker had made similar mistakes twice before, officials said.  (Fox)

According to state officials, the watch officer had been a cause for concern to his colleagues for more than a decade. (Guardian) 

Oh, now there's a brilliant job by Hawaii HR, no?  Andlet's not give the bozo an easy job, either...


Step four:  Make it easy to understand



So you take a message just like this, but add "exercise, exercise, exercise" to each end.  And give it to Mr. Can't tell the difference, and watch what happens...


Step five: add selective hearing


In a written statement, the employee, who was not identified, said he believed there was a real emergency on Jan. 13 after hearing a recording that stated “THIS IS NOT A DRILL.” But the employee did not hear the first half of the message that stated “EXERCISE, EXERCISE, EXERCISE,” the FCC said in its preliminary report Tuesday. Though the recording also ended with the “EXERCISE” message, the officer did not hear it.  (Fox)

During the news conference Tuesday, officials reiterated that the male worker said he did not know it was a drill even though five others had heard the portion of the message indicating it was an exercise. (NBC)

So he semi-legitimately thought he was going to be turned into a radioactive souvenir ashtray in mere moments.   And he did what anyone like him would do at a time like that.  He confirmed a live missile on the way.  And when told it was a drill....


Step six: Swift and decisive... er...


After the mistake was realized, the employee reportedly “froze” and “seemed confused,” forcing another worker to take over and send a correction, Oliveira said. (Fox)

Okay, so the next guy corrected things, right?  RIGHT?

By 8:20 a.m., Hawaii EMA tweeted there was “NO missile threat” to the state, but failed to send a follow-up phone alert for another 38 minutes, causing mass panic among people who weren’t able to check social media.  (Fox).

So, two problems here- one, why did it take 13 minutes to figure out how to remove the now-frozen idiot from his chair, and send out the text?  Two, why is the phone alert not tied TO the text alert and vice versa?  I mean, other than as the investigation found, the need to  "recommended a number of improvements on the system including a revised checklist to standardize the process of conducting drills and installing a computer process that would immediately send out an “alert cancellation,” the latter of which has been instituted already"?

But never fear, the heroic governor of Hawaii is about to save the day...


Step seven:  It's on a card in my... wallet... it's right here...


 It was not until 8.24am that the corrective message was retweeted by the Hawaii governor, David Ige.


The FCC report notes drily: “The governor has stated that he was unable to do this earlier because he did not know his Twitter password.”


And with that, all that remains is...


Step eight:  the aftermath, or 'bring to a boil and stir...'

So Vern Miyagi, who oversaw the Hawaii Emergency Management Agency, resigned after the presser today.  The button pushing alert guy became the "former button pushing alert guy", another "official" walked the plank prior to execution (my guess is that was the third shift supervisor- or perhaps the guy that keeps the governor's passwords), and still another is "in process of being suspended without pay".


God hopes they don't notify him with a text message...

8 comments:

  1. Chris:
    ---I can honestly say I'm not in EITHER camp on that one.
    ---Nuking Hawaii will wipe OUT entire families (unless some are stateside).
    That's a no-brainer.
    ---If the Norkos wanted to hit Frisco, all they have to do is place a feces-detector in the warhead...heh.
    ---Lack of communication...now WHERE have we all heard THAT one before (ad nauseum)?
    ---Wrong person for the job - Man, if we aren't hip-deep in THAT manure pile all too often. Been there, had to deal with that.
    ---In today's society, you'd think by NOW, that anything EASY would wind up being JUST THAT. I guess not.
    ---Selective hearing...ROFLMAO.
    Yeah, another thing I have had to deal with over many year with bosses and others (but don't tell the missus)...lol.
    (perhaps a case of LITERAL versus FIGURATIVE)
    ---That guy musta been GLUED to that chair..next time, have a BIG...RED...BUTTON with the word "STOP!" on it.
    ---That's it...blame Twitter (laughable).
    AT least he DIDN'T blame Trump.
    ---Maybe THIS Miyagi should got back to the "wax-on wax-off" job he had prior?
    No drill, just repetition.

    That was a very enlightening post.
    Good take on an overly avoidable situation.

    Stay safe (and well-informed) up there, brother.

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    1. I had a thought to go with the SF feces detection system there.... thankfully, good taste overtook me before I said it...

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  2. This whole thing just baffles me. I mean, it really does. We have places in our area that are required to do drills several times a year. The public is notified days in advance on the local news shows and radio several times. On the day of the drill, we also get the tone well ahead of time...and we live a good 45 minutes away from the place that has the most drills. Common sense ain't so common, I guess.

    Have a beachy week!
    Elsie

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Woman, don't you know that my posts are ALL trying to teach you that "Common sense ain't so common"?

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  3. The whole Hawaiian thing leaves us shaking our heads and wondering why or why are there so many idiots in some positions

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Because at a certain point, you have to stick a warm body in the position, and idiots are far more plentiful.

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  4. The aftermath - search for the guilty, persecution of the innocent, praise for the non-participants.

    Governments hire ding-a-lings and mental midgets, then can't fire them. I used to work at a nuclear power station, and after four years I concluded that about half of the men who worked there were incompetent. I mean they shouldn't be trusted anywhere without a keeper. Eventually something like this happens and the entire place turns into a circus.

    Nice post, by the way. You summed it up nicely.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you! Your nuke plant story worries me more than you know, but surprises me not one ion.

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