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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.


Friday, February 16, 2018

Time Machine co-cordinates VIXLI47421675

Today, we leave the fields of 2018 and drift down to February 16th, 1975- the day BEFORE AC/DC released High Voltage for us old timers, and the day that South African PM BJ Vorster told fellow apartheid boss, Rhodesian PM Ian Smith, that he was no longer going to send him South African troops to help him stay afloat, as he had concluded, according to Wiki, "white rule would be untenable in a country where blacks outnumbered whites 22:1."   Unlike his OWN country, where the odds are only 10:1.  Unless you count the people in country illegally right now from Zimbabwe (formerly Rhodesia), escaping their wonderful majority rule government, a number approaching 3 million.  Nice improvement, Zimbabwe!


And having had my fill of politics for the day now, welcome to the music end of the story here, where we will have:  Ringo Starr on the Panel picks; a trip through commercial jingles thanks to the #75 in '75; the bizarre story of Steve Harley and Cockney Rebel; the all-star team on the lp I put in the category of "Stupidest names for #1 albums"; and a new #1 on the M10!   No, we're not bringing the Young brothers in for a visit, so leave your copies of Highway To Hell WAAAAAY outside, and let's go!


One debut this week, and you know this lady- at #8, Shilpa Ray:


Let's welcome in Ringo Starr!

Hello, Sir Richard, and... uh, you know this isn't a Thomas the Tank Engine thing...

Say wat?  But Elvis told me...

Well, you know how, on Doctor Who, the first rule is, "The Doctor lies"?  Well, on TM, the first rule is, "Elvis lies".

Oh, faddle.  Then this is music, after all?

Yep.  I'm going to give you the Panel picks- songs that were getting #1 votes around the country this week in 1975- and you'll read 'em off for the listening audience.

Well, thank God!  I am quite fed with Sir Toppem Hat and all that rubbish.  Fancy a blast? (Pulls out a flask)

Uh, well, I would, but I've gotta fly this thing.  Laurie's off to work, and Scrappy...

...well, he don't fly, so...

Quite all right.  You have the list?

Right here.  13 candidates from 27 stations.

Very good.  In alphabetical order, as well!  First off we have the "weekly song from Lorenzo Marquez."  Where exactly IS Lorenzo Marquez, anyway?

Well, apparently I have been spelling it wrong for forever, because it's Lourenco Marques, and it isn't an island like I thought, because it is the capital city of Mozambique in Africa, and it isn't even Lourenco Marques anymore, because when the Portuguese left it got renamed Maputo.

Maputo.  Wonder what that means?

I don't know, but don't ask a Spanish speaker!

Why- oh.  OH.  Anyway, the #1 song there was the Rolling Stones' cover of Ain't Too Proud To Beg, which had peaked in the States last December.

Then we have the Eagles with Best Of My Love, which was #4 on Cashbox.

And The Doobie Brothers and Black Water at #5.

Carol Douglas, a young woman with a one-hit wonder called Doctor's Orders, was at #18.

The Ohio Players held the second spot on the survey with Fire.

Olivia Newton-John- speaking of loverly ladies- is at #9 with Have You Never Been Mellow.  

Then comes one of the most influential acts of Australian music- the Skyhooks.  Their song was called Horror Movie, and it was the first of two #1s they had Down Under- and to show how big a career they had, the second one didn't come until 1990!

Labelle and Lady Marmalade was at #17.

Barry Manilow had the first of four contestants that were on the current British chart.  Mandy was at #13 in the states, and debuting at #41 back home.

And another was Frankie Valli with the uncredited Four Seasons and My Eyes Adored You- #8 here in the states and #12 back home.  Good heaven, what is with all the red squiggles?

I don't know, the Google/Blogger dictionary took stupid pills today.  It wants me to spell Manilow "Mani-low", it wants me to spell Lourenco the old, wrong way, and wants me to spell Valli "Villa".  I'm good and close to turning it off.

Perhaps I shouldn't 'ave spilled my my drink on the keyboard, wat?  Anyway, next we have AWB, the Average White Band from up in Glasgow, with their song Pick Up The Pieces at #3, as well as debuting at #32 back home.

The Carpenters are at #19 on their way down with Please Mr Postman- which is all the way up at #3 in the UK.

And finally, another loverly lady- Linda Ronstadt, at #1 with You're No Good.  How's that?

Excellent, my friend, excellent.  So with a short list of stations that gives us an average of 2 votes per song, needless to say the vote totals were awful low- 5-4-3 was the tally at the top.  But to keep you good and confused, let me give you five choices.  Pick yer winner from Mani-low, Ohio Players, AWB (or as the squiggle prefers, AWN, whatever THAT is), the Eagles, and Linda.


So this week's 6D victim was Stevie Wonder's Boogie On Reggae Woman at #6.  What struck me about this tune's album- the bizarrely-titled Fulfillingness's First Finale- was the sheer amount of current and future star power it had.  Among the names you'll know (?) on the credits are:

Michael Sembello, the "Maniac" guy;

Jim Gilstrap, whose claims to fame are two- he's the voice on the first two lines of You Are The Sunshine Of My Life, and he sang the theme to the TV show Good Times;

Denise Williams, the "Too Much Too Little Too Late" girl;

Paul Anka- yes, Paul Anka;

Sneaky Pete Kleinow of the Flying Burrito Brothers;

Funk Brothers bassist James Jameson;

a capella stars the Persuasions;

The Jackson Five on You Haven't Done Nothin';

Minnie Ripperton of Loving You fame (which the squiggle thinks I should spell "Coppertone");

And even Sergio Mendes dropped in to do some Portuguese lyrics.

With a list like that, who NEEDS a 6 degrees?


The UK #1 this week is a tune called Make Me Smile (Come Up And See Me) by an outfit called Steve Harley and Cockney Rebel.  But it wasn't actually "THE" Cockney Rebel.  Allow me to explain.

You see, this band had a couple hits over there, but friction developed, as it often does.  It seems that ol' Steve let things get to his head- and before the height of their fame, the band said adios muchacho and quit.  Steve went on with session players, but kept the name.  And Make Me Smile- supposedly written about his "traitorous" bandmates- became "their" biggest hit.

You've done it all, you've broken every code
And pulled the rebel to the floor

You spoiled the game, no matter what you say
For only metal, what a bore

(Ooh la la la)
Blue eyes, blue eyes
(Ooh la la la)
How can you tell so many lies?
(Ooh ah)


A second Stat Pack story this week involves our #75 at '75- A tune called Isn't It Lonely Together by (Fred) Stark and (Rod) McBrien.  Fred Stark, was apparently known for his commercial jingles- including the McDonalds "you deserve a break today", the WindSong perfume "stays on my mind", the Mountain Dew "Hello sunshine, hello Mountain Dew", GE "we bring good things to life", and "baseball, hot dogs, apple pie, and Chevrolet".  With McBrien, another ad exec and music engineer who I found little else about, he charted with this:


Since I've pretty much done most of the Stat pack, I should mention that I knew 47 of the hot 100, but only one of the bubbling unders- Jose Feliciano's Theme from Chico And The Man.  I always loved that show but my favorite scene involved Charo coming up to Jack Albertson and saying in her inimitable accent, "I've got something to get off my chest."

Albertson turns to the camera with slightly bugging eyes and says, "This is a job for Superman!"

Our #101 this week was the pre-fame Atlanta Rhythm Section with Angel (What In  The World Has Come Over Us).  I listened to this, because the AllMusic reviewer said:  "and "Angel (What in the World's Come Over Us)" even adds harmonies almost worthy of Crosby, Stills & Nash. "

If anyone sang on that song but Buddie Buie, I sure didn't hear 'em.

And I just realized I never figured up the week's big mover.  Ringo, could you turn that dial right there... no, that one...

Why certainly... well!  The winner is, Ringo Starr, the No No Song, 26 notches to #50!

You realize that no one is going to believe that I forgot this until now, and it just happened to be you...

Pfaugh!  Let 'em doubt!  We know it's true!


The M10:

It was a tremendous battle, with new songs clawing to get in, but the Tracks hang on with, er, Hanging On at #10 for a second week.

BORNS, however, erodes still further, dropping 2 more to #9.

Moon Taxi gets a chance at last to move up, but can only move up one to #7 with Let The Record Play, because Dent May lobbied his way into dropping just 2 to #6 with recent #1 Take Me To Heaven.

A much bigger drop for illuminati hotties, as (You're Better) Than Ever drops from its second turn at the top to #5 this week.

Which means the Shacks nestle back into that #4 slot with Follow Me- and there they stick because the top three have the seeming of another "1a, 1b, 1c" ordeal.

At #6, up 3- Voodoo Children and Tangerines And Daffodils.

At #2, up a spot- Decemberists and Severed.

And the new #1- and their third-

Lucius, with Neighbors!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the Panel pick, capturing that whopping 18.5% of the vote and narrowly missing a third straight OT:

...Barry Manilow with what was, in '75, my favorite song (and still in my top 5)- Mandy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Next up, 1976! Be there!


  1. Chris:
    ---1975 - AC/DC - has it been THAT long already?
    ---Heh...those are about the SAME odds (22:1) we have where we live in Ft. Wayne... (yes, I said that out loud).
    ---HA...TM rule #1 - ELVIS lies (nice DW tie-in)
    ---Shilpa Ra...okay song.
    ---Love the banter w/ yet.
    ---Got my choice for #1 this week (looks to be a far).
    ---That 6D DID have a lot of "names" in the mix...
    ---Never knew that about Cockney Rebel (can can't remember the band, either).
    ---The Stark & McBrien song is pretty good.
    ---LOL...Albertson & Prinze played well together...Prinze Jr. is doing quite well these days.
    ---Nailed it w/ Barry!!!
    (can't go wrong with THAT hit)
    I know Laurie had to get this one as well.

    Excellent ride this week.

    Keep those hits comin' yup there, brother.

    1. I thought the Ringo was a little flat, until my fortunate oversight...

      Laurie: "I always talk myself out of the song I like best, and this time it burned me!" (Translation: She took the fourth place candidate...)

      Cockney Rebel: Considering their greatest hit was after they all quit, not surprising to not know them. And if you listen to the song- as I did- you may well agree with me (and them) that the only problem with the band was the darn singer!