Flub Hawaiian style

So the most of the story on the "Hawaiian Missile Crisis" is out now, and if you were a member of the "prolly a Dem who wanted to make Trump look bad" club, you seem to be out of luck.  However, if you are in the "I enjoy a stupid mistake that could have cost lives" group, I am about to make you happy beyond your wildest dreams.


Step one:  Overdo a bad thing

The first problem was a case of the Law of Large Numbers coming through yet again.  "The FCC said Hawaii officials were conducting an “atypical number of no-notice drills” that increased the chances of a mistake happening. "  (from the FoxNews article.)   So why all the drills?

A state official has informed residents of Hawaii that they should create a plan to keep track of their families in the event of a nuclear attack from North Korea, which is about 4,600 miles away. "There will be no time to call our loved ones, pick up our kids and find a designated shelter," Vern Miyagi, an administrator with the Hawaii Emergency Management Agency, told reporters.  (Newsweek)

In fact, my calculations show that if an ICBM went straight to target at full speed, you would have 18 minutes.  Of course, the missile goes in an arc, which adds to that, and there is the additional fact that they have to actually HIT the target:

What's more, the current estimated accuracy of North Korea's weapons may be as poor as six to 12 miles. (US and Russian missiles can hit a target within a couple of hundred feet.) If North Korea targeted San Francisco, for example, there's a chance the bomb could miss the city entirely and detonate over the Pacific Ocean. (Business Insider)

Step two:  Let's make sure no one communicates

Next, let's have a third shift supervisor decide to run one of these apparently too-often tests- schedule it for shift change- and NOT tell the first shift supervisor, at least so he knew what was happening.

When he was handing over at 8am, the outgoing supervisor told the incoming day shift supervisor that he was going to conduct a ballistic missile preparedness drill.

“But there was a miscommunication,” said James Wiley, an FCC legal counsel who presented the report. “The incoming day shift supervisor thought that the midnight shift supervisor intended to conduct a drill for the midnight shift warning officers only (those ending their shift) – not for the day shift officers (those beginning their shift).” (the Guardian)

And thus, no one was paying attention to the key employee, AKA...

Step three:  wrong man for the job

During the investigation, (investigating officer Brig. Gen. Bruce) Oliveira said the employee, who had worked at the agency for 10 years, had a history of confusing drills and real-world events. In fact, the worker had made similar mistakes twice before, officials said.  (Fox)

According to state officials, the watch officer had been a cause for concern to his colleagues for more than a decade. (Guardian) 

Oh, now there's a brilliant job by Hawaii HR, no?  Andlet's not give the bozo an easy job, either...


Step four:  Make it easy to understand

So you take a message just like this, but add "exercise, exercise, exercise" to each end.  And give it to Mr. Can't tell the difference, and watch what happens...


Step five: add selective hearing


In a written statement, the employee, who was not identified, said he believed there was a real emergency on Jan. 13 after hearing a recording that stated “THIS IS NOT A DRILL.” But the employee did not hear the first half of the message that stated “EXERCISE, EXERCISE, EXERCISE,” the FCC said in its preliminary report Tuesday. Though the recording also ended with the “EXERCISE” message, the officer did not hear it.  (Fox)

During the news conference Tuesday, officials reiterated that the male worker said he did not know it was a drill even though five others had heard the portion of the message indicating it was an exercise. (NBC)

So he semi-legitimately thought he was going to be turned into a radioactive souvenir ashtray in mere moments.   And he did what anyone like him would do at a time like that.  He confirmed a live missile on the way.  And when told it was a drill....


Step six: Swift and decisive... er...


After the mistake was realized, the employee reportedly “froze” and “seemed confused,” forcing another worker to take over and send a correction, Oliveira said. (Fox)

Okay, so the next guy corrected things, right?  RIGHT?

By 8:20 a.m., Hawaii EMA tweeted there was “NO missile threat” to the state, but failed to send a follow-up phone alert for another 38 minutes, causing mass panic among people who weren’t able to check social media.  (Fox).

So, two problems here- one, why did it take 13 minutes to figure out how to remove the now-frozen idiot from his chair, and send out the text?  Two, why is the phone alert not tied TO the text alert and vice versa?  I mean, other than as the investigation found, the need to  "recommended a number of improvements on the system including a revised checklist to standardize the process of conducting drills and installing a computer process that would immediately send out an “alert cancellation,” the latter of which has been instituted already"?

But never fear, the heroic governor of Hawaii is about to save the day...


Step seven:  It's on a card in my... wallet... it's right here...


 It was not until 8.24am that the corrective message was retweeted by the Hawaii governor, David Ige.


The FCC report notes drily: “The governor has stated that he was unable to do this earlier because he did not know his Twitter password.”


And with that, all that remains is...


Step eight:  the aftermath, or 'bring to a boil and stir...'

So Vern Miyagi, who oversaw the Hawaii Emergency Management Agency, resigned after the presser today.  The button pushing alert guy became the "former button pushing alert guy", another "official" walked the plank prior to execution (my guess is that was the third shift supervisor- or perhaps the guy that keeps the governor's passwords), and still another is "in process of being suspended without pay".


God hopes they don't notify him with a text message...

Hannah Arendt and a very familiar story

I have, as Bobby G knows, been slowly working my way through Hannah Arendt's The Origins Of Totalitarianism ever since he had her featured on a "Who Said It?" segment on his blog.  This is dense, and quite learned, material, and my lazy mind brought up on comic books has struggled at times with motivation- leaving me currently at page 64.  But like I said, this is a very densely packed book, and 64 pages like this is as much as whole books I have read in other venues.

This book is heavily into how we got from 1800's style anti-semitism to the Holocaust, and she makes a big point about the difference between being anti-semitic and anti-Jew.  Now I won't pretend that I quite yet grok her idea of the difference ( I do have 400+ pages to go), but it boils down to anti-jewish is just that, plain and simple, where anti-semitism takes on a host of economic, societal, and political conveniences.  It also makes you see the nations of that time period in a different light.

For example, take Hitler.  Many people would say he was a German nationalist, for all his "Fatherland" nonsense.  But she draws a difference between a nation-state- content to rule that ONE people, example France after the Napoleons- and someone like Hitler who wanted not to just rule his nation-state, but have that nation-state rule SEVERAL other nations.

Another way to look at the difference is when she examined the anti-semitic parties of Europe in the late 1800s.  For example, the parties under the A-S banner in Germany were LIKE socialists, but where socialists of the day were concerned with domestic issues, the A-S parties saw similar conditions across ALL nations surrounding them, and wanted to become "a party above parties".  In other words, a nascent New World Order.  However, that kind of existential politics didn't play well in the stix- until they put two ideas together.  One, their only real competition as a supranational force were the Jews, who lived in every nations but as citizens of none- even though they weren't at all aware for various reasons they could take advantage of this.  The other, because the rich Jews had been privileged in the old days when kings were the government and needed Jews to grant them loans for their wars, and because now the poor Jews were starting to get some civil rights- which impinge on them, they thought- the masses were ready to blame Jews for a plethora of items.  And if the A-S parties wanted to draw a crowd, why, just start bashing Jews!

In Austria, they already had a supranational state- held tenuously by rulers that imagined themselves far more powerful than they were- and also still had the despotic monarchy of the past, where rich Jews were an indispensible cog of government.  Thus, the A-S party there- unlike in Prussia/Germany- didn't WANT to change the government, and thus by and large left the Jews alone.

And in France, which met the definition of a true nation-state, and had for some time, the A-S parties, outside the decade surrounding the Dreyfus affair, had no traction whatsoever.  In fact, both they AND the socialists shied away from fighting Jews, because the Church was the biggest anti-semitic group in the country, and both the A-Ss and the socialists were willing to cuddle up to Jews to defeat the Church.  SO you see, her point was in the anti-semitic game, it was different strokes for different folks- at least until Hitler (and to a lesser extent, Stalin) made it a pillar of public policy.

I love the way she described the nations of Europe prior to WWI. 

Only two decades separated the temporary decline of the antisemitic movements from the outbreak of the first World War.  This period has been adequately described as a 'Golden Age of Security' because only a few who lived in it felt the inherent weakness of an obviously outmoded political structure which, despite all prophecies of imminent doom, continued to function in spurious splendor and with inexplicable, monotonous stubbornness.  Side by side, and apparently with equal stability, an anachronistic despotism in Russia, a corrupt bureaucracy in Austria, a stupid militarism in Germany, and a half-hearted republic in continual crisis in France- all under the shadow of the world-wide power of the British Empire- managed to carry on.  None of these governments were especially popular, and all faced growing domestic opposition; but nowhere did there seem to exist an earnest political will for radical change in political conditions. Europe was much too busy expanding economically for any nation or political stratum to take political questions seriously.  Everything could go on because nobody cared.  Or, in the penetrating words of Chesterton, "everything is prolonging its existence by denying that it exists." (Arendt, pp 50-51)

Wow.  See any parallels to these days?  If not, let me take you to an earlier section- and then a later one.  Back where she was discussing the German parties desire to be "a party above parties", she pointed out that only the nation-state was powerful enough to claim to be above parties.  So when these A-S parties claimed to be "above all parties", in her opinion, that meant they were announcing "clearly their aspiration to become the representative of the whole nation, to get exclusive power, to take control of the state machinery, to substitute themselves for the state." (Arendt p. 38, emphasis mine)  So you have a ruler who is the representative of the nation-state, versus a party that wants to suborn the government's position for itself.  That sounds awfully familiar...

And now, a bit ahead, as she looks at the social conditions of the United States circa 1948-51:

It is one of the most promising and dangerous paradoxes of the American Republic that it dared to realize equality on the basis of the most unequal population in the world, physically and historically.  In the United States, social anti-semitism may one day become the very dangerous nucleus for a political movement. (Arendt, p. 55).  

Change "anti-semitism" to "anti-Christianity" and I think we have a winner.  And if you look at those last two sections, it would make you wonder why the Left loves to accuse Trump of Hitlerism when the policies and proclivities that LED to Nazism are uncomfortably similar to themselves... just a thought.

Sunday Message: Doc Martin's two rules

Joh 3:1  And there was a man of the Pharisees named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews. 
Joh 3:2  He came to Jesus by night and said to Him, Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher come from God; for no man can do these miracles which you do unless God is with him. 
Joh 3:3  Jesus answered and said to him, Truly, truly, I say to you, Unless a man is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God. 
Joh 3:4  Nicodemus said to Him, How can a man be born when he is old? Can he enter the second time into his mother's womb and be born? 
Joh 3:5  Jesus answered, Truly, truly, I say to you, Unless a man is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God. 
Joh 3:6  That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. 
Joh 3:7  Do not marvel that I said to you, You must be born again. 
Joh 3:8  The Spirit breathes where He desires, and you hear His voice, but you do not know from where He comes, and where He goes; so is everyone who is born of the Spirit. 
Joh 3:9  Nicodemus answered and said to Him, How can these things be? 
Joh 3:10  Jesus answered and said to him, Are you the teacher of Israel and do not know these things? 
Joh 3:11  Truly, truly, I say to you, We speak what we know and testify what we have seen. And you do not receive our witness. 
Joh 3:12  If I have told you earthly things and you do not believe, how shall you believe if I tell you heavenly things? 

Php 3:3  For we are the circumcision who worship God in the spirit and rejoice in Christ Jesus and have no confidence in the flesh; 

Php 3:4  though I might also have confidence in the flesh. If any other thinks that he has reason to trust in the flesh, I more. 

Php 3:5  I was circumcised the eighth day, of the stock of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of the Hebrews. As regards the Law, I was a Pharisee; 

Php 3:6  concerning zeal, persecuting the church; regarding the righteousness in the Law, blameless. 

Php 3:7  But whatever things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ. 

So why these two passages?  Because I want to be clear on this point- head knowledge is not heart knowledge, and zealously following the wrong thing is still following the wrong thing.  So let's go back and unpack a bit.

Nicodemus thought there was something to Christ.  He was willing to risk a visit- and it was a risk to his "professional reputation", else why would he have gone in the middle of the night?- and seek more about him.  But he was a "professional"-  The word "ruler has been variously translated 'teacher' or 'master', and Matthew Henry's Commentary describes him thus:

He was a ruler of the Jews, a member of the great sanhedrin, a senator, a privy-counsellor, a man of authority in Jerusalem. Bad as things were, there were some rulers well inclined, who yet could do little good because the stream was so strong against them; they were over-ruled by the majority, and yoked with those that were corrupt, so that the good which they wished to do they could not do; yet Nicodemus continued in his place, and did what he could, when he could not do what he would.

So it was no mean thing for him to come; and yet, he came with his knowledge based on years of learning and tradition.  Not so very unlike myself when a trio of friends tried to get me to commit my life to Christ, and I told them, "That's okay, I'm a Catholic."  I had church teachers and church traditions backing me up for miles.

And a couple of weeks later, with daemons of my life surrounding me like a chorus, I made my midnight visit to Christ.  And the darkness lifted like a curtain.

One thing I thought of, and rejected, was using a quote from an atheist in an old old debate near the dawn of this blog.  The gist is enough for here:  That he had "sincerely believed" in "Christianity", but had rejected it because "it flew in the face of logic."  Two of those things I just quoted were in error.  First, he may have sincerely believed in what his reading and observation had led him to conclude- but that was all head knowledge.  Secondly, he saw "Christianity" as a religion, and despite my efforts could never see that there is a difference between religion (man's perception of what whichever god you worship wants) and faith (a one on one personal relationship WITH God).  The third, though, I have to grant Him:  faith flies in the face of "logic."  God explains that over and over, especially in Ecclesiastes.

Jesus's last words in the passage to Nicodemus are key: If I have told you earthly things and you do not believe, how shall you believe if I tell you heavenly things? Jesus told him the thing he needed to understand to pass from the earthly perspective to the heavenly one:  You MUST be born again.  Nothing else afterwards that Jesus could tell him would make any sense, despite his being a "professional", a teacher, until he took that step.  And I will add something to that- call it Dr Martin's rule #1.  You don't get past that first step without giving something up.

Example:  remember the rich young ruler?

Mat 19:16  And behold, one came and said to Him, Good Master, what good thing shall I do that I may have eternal life? 

Mat 19:17  And He said to him, Why do you call Me good? There is none good but one, that is, God. But if you want to enter into life, keep the commandments. 

Mat 19:18  He said to Him, Which? Jesus said, You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not bear false witness, 

Mat 19:19  honor your father and mother, and, you shall love your neighbor as yourself. 

Mat 19:20  The young man said to Him, I have kept all these things from my youth up; what do I lack yet? 

Mat 19:21  Jesus said to him, If you want to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you shall have treasure in Heaven. And come, follow Me. 

Mat 19:22  But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful; for he had great possessions. 

This man, like Nicodemus, like the commenter, had sufficient knowledge to know what was expected; but he had a treasure in the way, just like Nicodemus had the treasure of reputation, I had the "treasure" of my sin, and the commenter had the treasure of his logic.  And Jesus demands you give up your treasure- the thing that stands in the way of your faith.

Paul was just like this, and even more so, because he was utterly convinced that he was in the right- until he found he was totally wrong.  He was counting on his knowledge, his lineage, and the Law to vindicate him.  He had the treasure of self-confidence and self-righteousness, and he lost both when Jesus came and struck him blind, and asked him, "Why do you persecute Me? It is hard to kick against the goads."  And why did Jesus add the part about the goads?  Because, Paul had his life's work planned out to the minutest detail in HIS mind- but God had another plan, and all his grand designs were doing were rubbing up against it.

Now, this brings us to Dr Martin's rule number 2- you don't go forward without a show of obedience.

I would like to think I have at last- maybe for the first time in my life- made steps in the right direction in the last few weeks.  Perfection? NOT.  EVEN. CLOSE.  But God is doing the fighting for me, now.  And I think that stems from an incident about six months ago, when I finally "felt the goads" and began tithing.  Funny how this newborn progress then, months later, came during a two-week period when David Jeremiah was preaching ON the blessings of the tithe.  And it struck me:  I had made a show of obedience, and now God was beginning to move me.

But you can't get to rule # 2 without getting past rule #1.  You have to get past head knowledge and let Christ into your heart.  And thereafter be prepared, because something you have to give up will come along.  Is it your knowledge? Logic?  Years of tradition and "church teaching?"  A secret sin?  Or just being comfortable with the way you WANT to see God rather than the way He wants to be seen?

Time Machine co-ordinates VIXXXVIII47112672

So today we go to January 26, 1972, and boy do I have a story for you.

Meet Vesna Vulovic, who was a stewardess on a Yugoslav Airways flight from Copenhagen to Zagreb- and was the only survivor when a briefcase bomb planted by a Croatian terrorist exploded SIX MILES UP, ripping the plane in two.  Somehow, a baggage cart pinned her in the fuselage when everyone else was getting sucked out;  her low blood pressure (which she covered up when hired by "drinking a lot of coffee") kept her heart from bursting when the plane depressurized; and a former WWII medic found her screaming in the wreckage when it landed in Czechoslovakia and kept her alive, having landed part in and part out of the wreckage.  Which makes here Guinness's record holder for longest fall survived without a parachute.   A month-long coma, finding out what happened two weeks later, 16 months of therapy to walk again- and she went right back to stewardessing, right up until the airline fired her in the '90's  for speaking out against Slobodan Milosevic!  She lost her husband and job over this, but gained a cause, and despite declining health, died only 2 years ago!

Man, all I can say, we have a hero in the lineup for next year's Beauty Contest...


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And welcome to this week's Time Machine, where I'll be adding something new to the Stat Pack;  introduce you to the top poker player in the M10;  do a quick salute to the musical talents of Martin Era 2.0 that we lost last year; and I'll even throw in a REAL 6D!  Plus, after not doing it since August, three debuts in the M10 for the second week in a row!  Buckle up, grab a food cart just in case, and away we go!


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All three newbies to the M10 this week are acts that have been here before, and have new albums coming out!  The one at #10 released their album last Friday- and we have already heard one song from it- Moon Taxi's Two High!  And now, the just released title track to the lp Let The Record Play comes in at #10:





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So this week, we have Tony Orlando as the guest.  Tony, I'm a little disappointed you didn't bring the ladies...

Well, you kinda grabbed me in-between girls.  I haven't gotten around to picking out who's going on tour with me yet...

Oh, crap.  Guess I didn't set the controls precisely enough.

So, like, could you help me pick out the ones I'm gonna pick?  I mean you know who...

Yeah, and then I'll be the guy that created Tony Orlando and Dawn!  No, that would be a bad precedent...

"Tony Orlando and Dawn"?  Say, that sounds better than "Dawn featuring Tony Orlando", lot less clunky.

Geez, can you forget I said that?

Not likely.  In fact, I'm gonna write it on my hand so you can't do any timey-whimey hocus pocus...

Okay, well then, the REST of you forget I said that, and let's move on.  Here's your list... 13 candidates from 48 stations, and the big winner came close to lapping the field!

Wow!  So the first tune is American Pie by Don McLean, which was #1 on Cashbox this week.

Then comes Led Zeppelin with Black Dog.  Which one is that?

The "Hey hey mama, the way you move" one.

Ah, yes.  It was at #30.

Melanie's Brand New Key was at #2 this week.  Say, her winning this would be a great way to get her back in the Beauty Contest...

Oh, you've read the blog?

I've looked at the pictures.  Anyway, David Cassidy was at #12 with Cherish.

A pirate station from Lorenzo Marquez had a dude named Mike Holm- a German who did what they called Schlager music- got a vote for a song called Dancing In The Sun.

"And it's not Mike HOLMES, either.  I don't sing!"

Badfinger's Day After Day was at #6.

Rare Earth was at #24 with Hey Big Brother.

Joe Tex was ahead of the game, somewhere- he got a vote for I Gotcha which JUST made the charts at #108, and wouldn't peak until around May...

The Reverend Al Green was at #3 with Let's Stay Together.

Three Dog Night is at #15 with Never Been To Spain.

Dennis Coffey had Scorpio at #4.

Nilsson's Without You was at #27.

And lastly, The Stylistics were at #10 with You Are Everything.  There you go, boss!

Thanks, Tony, and be sure to bring- oops, about did it again- bring the girls next time!  Anyhow, like I said we have a really big winner this week- 45.8% of the vote!  But YOU don't know which one that was, so pick from Don McLean, Melanie, Al Green, Badfinger, and Dennis Coffey.


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Debut #2 comes in at #9, and their lp comes out in March- the Decemberists:







A world of difference between this one and their M10 #1 The Wrong Year back in December 2015...


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This week I wanted to find a way to salute our fallen of 2017, but had a real dilemma in how to go about it.  Well, one of my sources is a UK-USA chart combiner which ranks acts not only by decade, but all-time- and when I say all time, I mean since 1900!  So they have a top 1000 all time acts, that they rank by a point system I am not privy to.  I CAN tell you that the top acts are in 5-figures of points, and the top 1000 requires at least 830 of those points.  So I decided to let you in on how our fallen "heroes" ranked on this chart.  But not all of them made the top 1000, so let's start with the top acts by points before 1000:

Charles Bradley (who due to the nature of today's music, did not chart)
Robert Knight (pretty much Everlasting Love was his one song)
The Smithereens (who lost singer Pat DiNizio)
The Allman Brothers (who lost both Greg Allman and Butch Trucks)
Della Reese
Al Jarreau
Mel Tillis
Soundgarden (who lost lead singer Chris Cornell)
and Montgomery Gentry (who lost Thom Gentry in that plane crash)

Now, the others, with where they ranked:

Boston (lost drummer Sib Hashian), 955
Steely Dan (lost Walter Becker), 939
Don Williams, 930
AC/DC (lost Malcolm Young), 764
The aforementioned David Cassidy, 740
Tom Petty, 409
Chuck Berry, 299
Linkin Park (lost leader Chester Bennington), 234
Glen Campbell, 197
And the highest ranked of the dear departed, Fats Domino at #95.

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An unusual spot to start the 6D would have to be with the TV movie Tonya And Nancy, about the famous Olympic skater scandal between Nancy Kerrigan and Tonya Harding.  Nancy was played by one Heather Langenkamp, whose claim to fame outside of acting was that she was briefly married to one Alan Pasqua, who composed the CBS News theme!  Also on Al's resume was was keyboard work on Eddie Money's debut lp.  And also on that lp was a drummer named Gary Mallaber.  Mallaber had been around a while, playing on Van Morrison's Moondance.  There he was joined by another keyboardist named Jeff Labes.  And Labes was also involved in a song that, years before, was put on this singer's lp because the song they WANTED to put on, got accidentally erased by a (soon to be former) engineer, and the song that would become a hit replaced it.  The singer was Jonathan Edwards, the song was Sunshine (Go Away), and that was the song at #5 that got no Panel love.

BONUS:  The song that got erased, that they searched the tapes in vain to recover?  It was called Please Find Me.  I can't make this stuff up!

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And the high debut- all the way up at #6, comes from an act with 2 M10 #1's under their belts.  It comes from their upcoming acoustic lp Nude- and it is Lucius:






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Stat Pack time!

One thing I found in researching that ranking deal is that I have access to this sites' top acts for every year!  So, for the next few weeks, I will be letting you know what act won the year we are on by their point system.  Some of the results are surprising to say the least.  1972 isn't so much surprising by who won, but by who came in second.  The winner in 1972 was Gilbert O'Sullivan- and the act he beat was some 14-year-old named Michael Jackson.

The #72 in '72 belonged to Edgar Winter's White Trash, featuring vocals by Rick Derringer, and a tune called Keep Playing That Rock And Roll.

At #101 this week was a lesser hit- it peaked on BB at 100- by Freda Payne, called The Road We Didn't Take.  It got lost in the controversy over her antiwar hit Bring The Boys Home.

Our big mover belonged to "The American Band,"  Grand Funk Railroad's Footstompin' Music, moving 26 from 100 to #74.

And on top in the UK was a song with a split personality in the US of A.  That song, which you old timers remember from the Coke ad based on it, was I'd Like To Teach The World To Sing.  The New Seekers had it at the top over there, while here they were at #11- while the commercial's version by the Hillside Singers was at #16.

Speaking of the UK, I thought it might be fun to include where our contestants placed on the UK charts.  This week, American Pie was at 27, Brand New Key was #5, Let's Stay Together was at #10, and Day After Day was at #45.

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And by my count, that leaves us with the rest of the M10.

Sunflower Bean tumbles 2 in its fifth week with I Was A Fool.

BØRNS nudges up a spot to 7 with We Don't Care.

Back to back Shacks- the former top dog Audrey slips a pair to #5, and newbie Follow Me moves up 3 to #4.

Mo gets her week at the top, and falls back to #3 with On The Roof.  With this song and Audrey in their 6th week, this is the first time since August 2nd that the oldest songs in the count were only 6 weeks on.

And now, the best poker player in M10 history- he now has a full house with 2 #1s and 3 #2s- and Dent May completes the house with Take Me To Heaven going up a pair to #2.

And the new #1?

The illuminati hottie, Sarah Tudzin, with (You're Better) Than Ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


And that Panel beast?  Well, with Melanie, Al Green, Badfinger, and Dennis Coffey combining for just 13 votes (27%), our winnah and new champeen is...

...Don McLean!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Back next week, God willing, with 1973!

Ass countries and me

What constitutes a "shithole", or in Russian, an "Ass Country"?


It's not the people- not all of them, by far.

Do they even exist?  Answer, sadly, yes.  Are they primarily non-white countries? Again, sadly, yes.

Maybe, but not the way you think.

A lot of people want to bring Haiti into this mix.  I don't necessarily see them as fitting all the criteria.

I haven't heard anyone actually bring up India.  They fit a good definition of an Ass Nation.  So does the Congo (Kinshasa), which we would have all been better off leaving it as Zaire.

Now, the problem with the Congo is that they had enormous, giant potential to make themselves a wealthy, powerful nation.  What makes them a shithole is that they have existed with corrupt government for years.  Never have they had anybody in charge that has any desire whatsoever to place "making the country great" over "making my wallet fat."  And so it is being torn apart- and the people suffering- because there are not only criminals in governments, but rebels whose only REAL cause for rebellion is that they want to be the criminals in charge.  All the ethnic this and that is just a convenient excuse for people who have nothing better to do with their lives than hate and kill, just like it used to be in Ireland.

So in my estimation, the Congo is an Ass Nation.


India?  They ARE wealthy ( unless you're low caste), they have potential they ARE achieving- and yet they have gangs of men who get their kicks raping anything that walks, and whole police departments that look the other way unless national media pick up the story;  they have Hindus killing Muslims who they even suspect of eating beef (AKA Grandpa); and in looking for an appropriate picture for the post (which I didn't find), I saw this:

That to me says Ass Nation.

Haiti, on the other hand, is a victim of geography.  On top of many questionable governments over the years (which may reach AN status), they have just a slice of an island- a slice with damn few resources to improve themselves with.  One resource they used to have was forest, and the lack thereof now, means every big rainstorm they get washes half the country into the sea- and you can bet it's not the part that the government lives on.  Now you might say, how did they get to that condition, and I will tell you, that in all three of these cases, there is more to the problem, which I will get to in a minute.


But as long as everyone has their pitchforks at the ready, let me bring up Mexico.  Mexico is not an AN, but it comes a lot closer than it needs to.  And I say that because of the drug lords they allow to terrorise the nation.  There is no reason that a well educated (for the most part) nation with a military that ISN'T in constant revolt, and awash in legal oil dollars, should be allowing this kind of behavior.    Well, you say, that problem is caused by the demand in the US of A, and I will reply, "I'm getting there."


I have one more stop to make before I start backtracking down the AN trail, and that is Venezuela.  If you have honestly looked into this situation at all, you know that while drugs and falling oil prices are a big part of the problem, it is not what has made Venezuela ascend to Ass Nation status.  And now, it is time to go back and fill in the blanks and maybe see what makes a nation an Ass Nation.


********************************************


Why is the Congo so much more dysfunctional than say, Nigeria?  Try reading Adam Hochschild's King Leopold's Ghost.  Leopold of Belgium ran the area- then known as the "Congo Free State"- as his personal slave plantation.  His abuses were so terrifically horrifying, that even in the dark ages of 1905 they revolted Europeans and Americans so badly that he was forced to turn it over to the nation of Belgium.  And where Britain and France at least tried to give the natives a foundation to build on for future independance, Belgium- and just about as bad Portugal- never did anything more constructive than loot the natural resources. And as a result, when they pulled out, it was like leaving a severely mentally-challenged child sitting on a pile of candy by themselves- and then came the Cold War Kids, us and the Soviets, happily giving them better guns to more efficiently kill each other if they'd but sign on the dotted line.  That last part also gives us the Ass Nation of Somalia.


India is bound up in what is quite possibly the dead worst religion in the history of mankind, of which many see fit to follow all the vile, disgusting, and evil parts of, while completely ignoring anything of use and value to it.  Thus they are more than happy to kill people who marry outside their caste (see BBC news story), butcher Muslims because of a rumor that "that truck is carrying butchered beef", and yet, when they tried to stop some of the stuff in the graphic I shared by painting murals of their gods in the places where that was going on, they just looked at the god, said, "Pardon me", and dropped their drawers anyway.  Even Islam, with its quaint way of not progressing since the 14th century, isn't this bad on a comparative basis.  Does this mean religion is bad?  No, it means ANY religion practiced the wrong way does its adherents more harm than good.  And really, do you have to go to Shiva to ask if gang-raping 9-year-old children is wrong?


What about Haiti?  Well, it was the inability of the supposed civilized powers (in this case France and Spain) to decide who got to loot civilize the island that left 90% of the island in one country and the leftover 10% in another.  Or made that split almost irrevocable because of the language difference.  As a result, both sides of the island have had their good governments and their bad ones, and every so often, governments so bad we had to step in and straighten things out.  Long story short, even the best, united government would have a hard time making ends meet.


Mexico?  Sure, you COULD blame it all on the US of A.  We have the drug hangup.  We took Texas and California from them (and God knows I'd love to give California back).  But let's face it- THEY let the drug lords get more powerful than the government, through a good deal of that same corruption.  THEY are creating a future that is forcing more and more of their best people north of the border.  They are at best complicit in their shitholery. (A word which, amazingly, I didn't get a red squiggle on.)

And Venezuela?  C'mahn, you know this story.  Hugo Chavez decided he was going to out-Castro Cuba.  He learned first hand of the poverty and waste of resources socialism brings.  Venezuela would not be an Ass Nation but for the fact that Hugo Chavez was an ass.


************************************

And here is the thing, at last, about Ass Nations- some of them made their beds, some of them had their beds made for them.  But to REALLY fit my definition of Ass Nation, there is one thing for certain- whoever made the bed, they are lying in it.  Whether it is because nobody has the desire or wherewithal to change the government, or no one wants to take a good honest look at their societal norms, or whether it's just more convenient to pass both blame and problem to someone else, they are lying in it.

Was Trump right or wrong to say it?  Did he even actually say it?  Who cares, HE is not the problem.  If you are part of an Ass Nation, you need to do what you can to fix that.  Not wait for the world to fix it.  Because just sitting waiting is what makes people stop seeing you AS people, and see you like this:

Newspage go!

Tonight, I decided to see what we would get if I just looked at the stupidest-seeming headlines from various news sites, and see if we come up with anything dumber than what goes on in Washington (or on the Today Show) on a daily basis.

Contestant #1- BBC

Chinese staff paid in bricks to top up unpaid wages


Yep,  a brick making plant in China, using mainly migrant labor, somehow found themselves unable to pay 30 of these workers.

After their local labour department intervened with the help of the courts, the employees agreed to receive bricks from the factory in exchange for their unpaid earnings.

Xinhua says that their employer, who has not been named by local media, is still trying to figure out a way to repay staff the remaining 10,000 yuan that they are owed.


So each of the 30 employees is getting around 9,670 bricks at 23 bricks to the dollar.  Helluva deal, but what does a migrant worker do with 10,000 bricks?  Thank you for my happy meal, here are 50 bricks.  Just pray none of them hit the Chinese Powerball.


Contestant #2- FoxNews

Alleged drunk driver to cops: Hey, my Tesla was on autopilot


And this dude decided to pass out, leaving his Tesla to take the blame for parking in the middle of the Bay Bridge in San Francisco.  Pay attention in the clip to exactly WHEN he was found passed out:

“Driver explained Tesla had been set on autopilot,” the post continued. “He was arrested and charged with suspicion of DUI. Car towed (no it didn’t drive itself to the tow yard).”

The tweet did not indicate when the incident took place, but officers told the San Francisco Chronicle that the man was found in the stopped car at about 5:30 p.m. on Jan. 13.

Tesla officials, meanwhile, said the car’s autopilot function is intended for use “only with a fully attentive driver,” according to a statement to the newspaper.


Next up, CNN:

Budweiser falls off the list of America's three favorite beers

Once upon a time, as recently as 2001, beer drinkers without any real choices made Budweiser the "King of Beers".  But this year, not only is Bud Light and Coors Light ahead of it, but now Miller Lite has passed it into third, leaving Bud now fourth place and fading.


A decade ago, the top 10 brands made up nearly 66% of the beer industry. Their share has shrunk to 50% as craft beers have gained, according to the trade publication.

Bud is learning a lesson the very hard way- taste beats volume.  Why buy a six of bud, when for the same price I can buy 2 bottles of Golden Monkey, get better taste and be three times as smashed ?


Now, the Moscow Times:

What Did Trump Call Them? What's the Russian for That?


This story was a long, drawn out discussion of finding the proper translation into Russian of what President Trump was allegedly trying to convey with the term "shithole".  The author traced it down in the Russian media to 3 "vectors".  Some outlets used a word that literally meant "a hole"- like a hole in the wall.  The second was more along the lines of "a dump", with various descriptive terms to "spice it up".  And the third- well, here's where the author got right down to it:

The third vector had to do with the part of the anatomy that produces sh-t. One publication translated the sh-thole countries as “задница мира” (literally “the world’s bottom”), which emphasizes the nowheresville aspect of Trump’s insult but with only a subtle hint of vulgarity.

Another paper just called them жопы (asses), which is actually pretty close to the original. In Russian slang, жопа is a person’s bottom, a fool, a real mess, or a horrible and filthy place. The word puts a bit more emphasis on the countries’ being in bad shape — like in a jam — but then I’m overthinking this all beyond all belief. If you were just reading the paper, страна-жопа (an ass-country) would tell you what you need to know about Trump and his view of parts of the world.


"An ass-country."  I like that one.  May well start using it.

And before you lay into me for being insensitive to these nations, I'm planning a post about my take on "shithole countries".  Please save the hate mail for that post.


Next up, Xinhua:


Some parts of Beijing, Tianjin and Hebei embrace snowfall

"Embrace" snowfall?  I wondered if this was going to be a piece about how residents thought it was something special, or really neat, to get snow.  But as I perused the picture-post:

A sanitory worker sweeps the street after a snowfall in Xinle City, north China's Hebei Province, Jan. 22, 2018. Some parts of Beijing, Tianjin and Hebei province embraced a snowfall from Jan. 21 to 22.

No, apparently, when China gets dumped on, they get "embraced".  Go figure.


Next, Japan's Asahi Shimbun:

Osunaarashi suspected of driving without license in crash

Which means very little to you until you actually see the story:


Police are investigating allegations that sumo wrestler Osunaarashi was driving without a license and caused a rear-end collision in Nagano Prefecture early this month, investigative sources said.

However, the 25-year-old Egyptian said his pregnant wife was driving the vehicle, according to his lawyer.


So we have a sumo wrestler who rear-ends a guy while driving without a licence.  So, he throws his pregnant wife under the bus, so to speak.  But wait- traffic cams claim he was the driver.  How does he explain that?  Well, he throws his wife back under the bus a second time...


“The owner of the car is my wife. My pregnant wife caused the accident,” JSA officials quoted Osunaarashi as saying. “To cover up for her, I moved to the driver’s seat.”

So he covered up for her by getting into the driver's seat, and covered up for himself by naming her the driver.  All I can say is, he's got a helluva lawyer.


Finally, the Daily Mail really narrows it down...


Study claims women are the most DIFFICULT family members to live with

Wives, sisters and mothers are more likely to be the most difficult people in our lives, according to a survey of 1,100 respondents who described more than 12,000 relationships.  

Women may be guilty of doing the lion's share of whining, nagging and controlling in relationships, but the study noted that it's for a good reason.  

Female family members were most often labeled as difficult because they're usually emotionally invested in relatives' lives.


And before you go off on the Mail, or the study, let me throw in one more telling factor...


The respondents included people ranging in age from their early 20s to their 70s, all of which were San Francisco Bay Area residents.

And if there is anywhere that it should be questionable whether the wives, mothers, etc, are actually even women, that would be the place.  Frankly, I think the whole study was stuck in autopilot against the side of the Bay Bridge.

Sunday Message- being clear about love

So at one time I had a plan for this post, a plan in which I vented same old rage in a new package, put a nice, Easter-type bow on top, and passed it off as from God.


Thankfully, a sign of new maturity, I threw that away.

I don't want to join in the stupid wars on the internet anymore.  Everybody out there is getting their kicks sending out their hate wrapped in attacks on the people who they say are motivated by hate.

I want you to hear something else today.  I want you to hear about love.

Not love that says everyone goes to heaven, like spots in the eternal mansion are cars at an Oprah party.  Love in which One Creator God so loved His creation that He emptied Himself of Godhood and died in our places so we could join Him.

Not love that says, hey, you are a decent person, you'll make the list.  Love that recognizes that we have ALL fallen short of the perfection needed to be with a Holy God- and finds us a way there anyway, if we so choose.

Not love that says as long as you don't bother anyone, whatever you do is okay.  Love that recognizes that there is a moral standard that HAS to be met- and then offers us the chance to meet it.

I want to be clear on this.  Such love isn't cheap- it cost Jesus everything.  And it isn't easy- we have to be willing to give up this world for the reward of the next.  And it isn't for everyone.  There's one thing you have to do, and that is to recognize there is nothing you CAN do.  You need someone to do it FOR you- and that Someone has already done it.


Paul said, " that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved." (Romans 10:9)  Seems simple enough, right?  Except for that little 3 word phrase- in your heart.  Requiring sincerity, not just head knowledge.

Paul also said, "But even if we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel to you than what we have preached to you, let him be accursed." (Galatians 1:8) THAT means there are a set of rules, and a sincere believer has to follow them.  You don't get to cherry-pick out the non-PC stuff.

And Jesus told us, "You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles?  Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit.  A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit.  Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.  Therefore by their fruits you will know them." (Matt. 7:16-20)  And THAT means that it has to lead to a change in the way you see things and the way you act.  Not that you become instantly perfect, but that you begin to say no to the things that go against all the rest.  You feel guilt when you fail- or when you don't try.


So what brings all this up?  Well, as I may have mentioned, there is a "crack down on Chris" campaign going on here.  I am sick and tired of fighting the battle the world's way.  And one thing that has been laid on my heart in this is that I need to be CLEAR.  If I give people the impression that God grades on the curve, I am doing a garbage job on these posts.  Yes we fail, and God still loves us- He doesn't take Jesus back.  We repent, we slip up; God knew every time we would do that WAY before we did, and if He showed us today how many more times we had yet to fail, we'd probably wonder why He gives us the time of day.  But it still remains these three things:

Faith and confession

Learn and pray

Apply, apply, apply.

And that means I have to up the standards around here.  I have to make sure that every Sunday message shows that I believe that I am a sinner deserving of hell, except that Christ died for me.

Every Sunday message has to be grounded in the Bible- and my opinions have nothing to do with it.

And I have to go out and walk the walk.

So, continue praying for me, as anyone reading this knows that I am praying for you.  And we'll go on muddling through together- and with God's grace, maybe I won't be sharing as many, "and this is how I douched that up" stories, and more, "Here is the victory God won" stories instead.

Time Machine co-ordinates VIXXXVII47011971

Today, we slip unnoticed into January 19th, 1971- the day that the Beatles' Helter Skelter is played as evidence in the Manson murder trials.  Did the Beatles influence the Manson "family"?

"Sure... that's what it was.  Let's go with that..."

Other than that, it was a pretty quiet day- and frankly, it's a pretty quiet Time Machine, too, as I never had the time (while healthy) to snoop up a neat feature or two.  But we do have something the M10 hasn't seen since August;  how one misprint can cause a lot of problems; and I get to do the Panel picks with a former Beauty Contestant!  So fire up the turntable and away we go!


****************************************

So what is it we haven't seen on the M10 since August 16th?  Not one, not two, but THREE new debuts!  And this first one at number 10 is a Scottish band- but when you here the song, you'll swear that Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers joined forces with Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band!  They call themselves the XCERTS, and their latest is...





******************************************

Today, I get to share the TM mike with POTM Mariska Veres of Shocking Blue!

Hello, pretty lady!  How are you today?

M:  I am very happy to being here!

Great.  So what we do here is you read the Panel votes off of this list here and...

M: I am very happy to being here!


UH-oh.  Sounds like somebody isn't real good at English....

M: I am very happy to...

Yeah, okay, I tell you what.  Give me the list, and I'll just go ahead and read them.  You just sit here and keep me company, okay?

M: (nods head)

So we start this week's list of 18 candidates from 60 stations with Ray Stevens' Bridget The Midget at #56.

Closer to the top, we have Van Morrison's Domino at #22.

King Floyd was at #4 with Groove Me.

Gladys Knight and the Pips are at #11 with If I Were Your Woman.

Dave Edmunds is at #29 with I Hear You Knockin'.

The Partridge Family had I Think I Love You at #15.

Tony Orlando and Dawn were at the top of the Cashbox charts with Knock Three Times.

Canned Heat got a "didn't get the memo" vote for Let's Work Together, which peaked in the top 30 around Thanksgiving.

The Bee Gees were at #7 with Lonely Days.

In South Africa, a band that had two hits covering Monkees album cuts, calling themselves the Dealians, were at the top there with Look Out Tomorrow.

Stephen Stills was at #19 with Love The One You're With.  I wonder if he sang that alone?

George Harrison was in the runner-up spot with My Sweet Lord.

A song that doesn't get near enough play at #52- Liz Damon's Orient Express with 1900 Yesterday.

A lot of 50s this week- the Osmonds were at 57 with One Bad Apple.

The Fifth Dimension were at #3 with One Less Bell To Answer.

Three Dog Night held #13 with One Man Band.

Lynn Anderson was at #12 with Rose Garden.

And Todd Rundgren, under the name of "Runt" was at #33 with We Gotta Get You A Woman.

So I gotta tell you, this was a two-song race until near the end, but just to mix you up, I'll throw in a few more for your picking pleasure.  Choose from Dawn, George, the 5D, the Bee Gees...

"Or ME!"

Yes, or Dave Edmunds.  Mariska, I'm sorry we didn't get you a translator or anything, maybe next time around.

M (laughing): Elvis zei dat dit zou werken...*

* "Elvis said this would work..."

DAMNIT, ELVIS!!!!

*********************************************

Well, at least Elvis can't bugger up the next debut at #8.  This is a gentleman from Michigan named Garrett Borns, who goes professionally as BØRNS, and his first time on the M10 goes like this...

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Stat Pack time!

The big mover was ... er.. Bobby Goldsboro's Watching Scotty Grow- up 26 spots from 62 to 36.

I knew 44 of 'em, including the #71 in '71- Jerry Reed's Amos Moses  While it was the fourth single off his lp Country Sunshine, it was the only one that cracked the pop charts.  The others placed #14, 16, 16, and 16 on the country charts- this one made #8 on pop.

We didn't have a bubbling under this week for some reason, so #100 was Betty (the Shoop-Shoop Song (It's In His Kiss)) Everett with I've Got To Tell Somebody.  Nobody was listening, though, and it peaked at #98.  Despite this long a career, Betty only made the top 40 3 times- once with Jerry Butler- and this was her last time in the 100.


And in the UK, we find another actor at the top.  This time it was Clive Dunn, a star on the BBC's Dad's Army, who one night ran into veteran studio bassist Herbie Flowers (who played the bass on, among others, David Essex's Rock On), and challenged Flowers to write a song for him.  The result, Granddad, was at the top of the UK chart this week.


******************************************

Ready for some help?  The top two are My Sweet Lord and Knock Three Times.  But who won?


***********************************************


Our third debut, at #7, is by the act that was numero uno last week- The Shacks:






The new lp, to be called Haze, hits stores end of March.

********************************************************

So how do you put a song behind the 8-ball with a misprint?  Well, you start with a teenager named Kenny Thomas who entered a Detroit talent competition with some songs he wrote.  One of them got the attention of producer Frank Wilson, who had the young man play it for him on his old beat up two-string guitar.  Frank reworked a few lyrics and presented it to the Supremes 2.0, who took the song - Stone Love- onto the chart.  HOWever, the record label pressed it as STONED Love- and immediately some radio idiots took it to be a "coded-word drug song" and refused to play it.  Thankfully, enough DJs with brains actually listened to the lyrics (about a love strong enough to make peace possible) that it sat at #5 this week, despite the lack of Panel love.


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The rest of the M10:


Strawberry Runners spend their 8th week on the chart at #9, down 6, with Garden Hose.

Getting pushed down a notch were Sunflower Bean's I Was A Fool at 6 and Shilpa Ray's former #1, Manhattanoid Creepazoids at 5.

Dent May climbs 3 to #4 with Take Me To Heaven.

The Shacks' former number one, Audrey, slips to #3.

Roaring (or, I guess, skating) to #2 on a 4 notch jump is illuminati hotties with (You're Better) Than Ever.

Which means the new #1 is the second #1 for...

Mo Kenney, with On The Roof!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

***********************************************

And on the Panel front, George Harrison got 23% of the vote, but the winner with 36.7 % is...

Dawn, with Knock Three Times!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Next time, 1972!

Ducks In The Wind...

Damnit, I just styled!

The wonderful source of this post's title will take a minute, but I had fun getting there, so maybe you will as well.  It all started yesterday- sort of...


And it involves an incident where my place of work made about every mistake we are good at on one order.  We started with a rush order, which because it was both hot and a prototype, did not have proper paperwork ready when the time came to get it cut (AKA mistake #1).  In such a case, I am given a "mini" (think blueprint) with the item number, fabric color, and hull # for the individual boat it goes to.  Now, I used to just give it a "Yeah, whatever", cut the stupid thing, and not really care when or if they actually got me the paperwork.  But right before inventory, the production manager (Let's call him "Bob") douched one of these up and I ended up cutting something twice for no reason.  Since then, I write the hull # and fabric on my scoreboard, and erase it when the proper paperwork comes through so I can issue the fabric amount and print out any labels they may still need.

So I cut this one yesterday, write the info on my scoreboard, and wait for the paperwork.  It did not come my way that day. 

Today, though, about 9 AM, I got a pair of prototypes with paperwork.  The first one was a new number, and while it was cutting, I checked the other, and wa-lah, there was yesterday's cut.  Now, my floor boss (Let's call him "Brad") didn't check my board (mistake #2) because he was a bit distracted.  You see, several weeks ago we got an enormously expensive new piece of, er, equipment, that was supposed to make life a breeze for certain of my workmates.  This of course has not yet happened because our production engineer (let's call him "Pete") was supposed to be "getting it dialed in", and several (but fewer) weeks later, our plant manager's boss (Let's call him "Mark") stopped off and let him know that it was going waaay too slow (basically because he hadn't really got to it yet).  And TODAY, Mark returned to do a surprise checkup on Pete, who was not much farther along yet, which meant Brad had to help maintenance get all the moving around of stuff for the machine done which hadn't been done because maintenance had been too busy trying to help Pete get the damn thing functional.  So mistakes numbers 3 and 4 are basically "we don't know what we're doing", and "thus we aren't doing it".
"
Back to the main story:  So Brad goes to the sewing boss (Let's call her "Debbie") and she says yes, this was sewn yesterday.  But Brad then made the wise move (after letting me know I was right) to check with Bob to see if it still needed labels, etc.  When Bob saw it, he knew something was funny about the whole deal, and went to check on things himself.


Here I am going to add a crucial interlude to the story by mentioning that at some point in the morning, I walked past somebody's radio that was playing Dust In The Wind by Kansas.  My brain, always on the lookout for a new meaningless sound loop, began playing the song over and over- with one little problem.  It changed Dust to "Ducks".

This was still in my head as yet more problems surfaced in the area, Pete was looking at the new machine's computer with his head in his hands, and at long last, Bob showed up with the Complete Story.

1- the mini I got yesterday had the WRONG hull # on it.  So what I had on the scoreboard was meaningless.  (Mistake #5:  dumb engineers part A.)

2- That cover, which I cut yesterday, was the right item number for the mini- but the cover itself was NOT correct on my system, and thus when delivered was totally douched up for no matter WHICH boat they put it on.  (Mistake #6: dumb engineers part B.)

3- The first prototype I cut at 9 AM was a replacement for yesterday's cover, with the RIGHT hull number this time.

4- The second one, with yesterday's hull number, was a completely different boat, and was the first time I ACTUALLY cut for that hull.  Which makes Mistake #7, Bob needs to keep a better check on what his underlings are doing.


So now we have the "every mistake in the book" part done, and that leaves us with Ducks In The Wind.  Which, by this time, I thought was highly appropriate to our work situation.  So I added lyrics to the thing, which I shall now share with you.

A hurricane

Hurricane of stupid pushing everyone

All we've Done

Full of messing up and all must be re-done

Ducks in the wind,

all we are is ducks in the wind.

Same old song

someone left a part out, and it's incomplete

the BOM* is wrong

Fabric's full of holes and little Chinese feet**

Ducks In The Wind,

All we are is ducks in the wind ohhh oh

(violins)

Quick, hang on

The wind will cast our feathers to the earth and sky

We'll lose our tails

And Tim*** will make us work eternal overtime

Ducks in the wind, 

all we are is ducks in the wind

Everyone is ducks in the wind.....

* Bill Of Materials

** True story.  Foot prints in the coating HAS happened.

*** Plant manager.

I intend to take the song back to Tim tomorrow.  After yesterday, I'm betting he can use the laugh.

Final Note:  All names in this story are totally non-fictitious, except for one.  I'll let you guess which one that is.

To The Faithful Departed

I hate to lead with this, but we have lost two more musicians that have graced the charts of the past.  Delores O'Riordan, leader of the Cranberries, just keels over, aged 46.  Her magic Irish voice graced many a hit on the alt charts, including the flat out best anti-war song ever, 1994's Zombie...

Another mother's breakin'

Heart is takin' over

When the violence causes silence

We must be mistaken

It's the same old theme

Since nineteen-sixteen

In your head, in your head, they're still fightin'

With their tanks, and their bombs

And air bombs, and their guns

In your head, in your head, they are dyin'

In your head, in your head

Zombie, zombie, zombie-ie-ie

What's in your head, in your head?

Zombie, zombie, zombie-ie-ie

Still gives me chills...

The other was Gospel singer Edwin Hawkins, whose singers had a big hit with 1969's Oh Happy Day.  Another great tune, though not having the same impact on me as Delores, and songs like I'm Still Remembering...

They say the cream will always

Rise to the top

They say that good people

Are always first to drop

What of Kurt Cobain

Will his presence still remain

Remember J.F.K

Ever saintly in a way

Where are you now

Where are you now

Where are you now

I say, where are you now?

I'm sorry, this post was meant to be something else... something longer, more fun.  But as I listened to the songs again- for the first time in a while-  my heart just broke.  Where are you now....

(Not a) Sunday Message

Some of you may have noticed that I haven't yet put up a Sunday Message this year.  They'll come in God's time, but right now I am in a "growth spurt" for lack of a better term.

I have made progress in myself by writing some things down- things I don't intend to share.  But they have helped me see some of my problems in a different light.

One of those lights is the light of fear.  I'm one of those people who hear the sermons on fear and anxiety and say, "That doesn't apply to me, at least not anymore."  WRONG.  A while ago a preacher mentioned that there were 366 "fear not"s in the Bible- which means that would make a really great devotional.  Me being me, I began to seek them out.  And I learned that fear is indeed a problem.  Fear of letting go of certain sins because IF I let them go, I could rise to a new level- and that would be scary.


Another is the light of frustration.  I mean needless frustrations, like yelling at my machine or computer screen at work.  Now, yelling at inanimate objects is a long-term habit of mine.  When I was 4, I fell on my butt running through the kitchen because I slipped on a throw rug on the linoleum floor.  I picked up the rug and shook it, screaming, "Don't you know I'm a PEOPLE?"  12 years later when Mom died, I made sure one of my first acts was to escort that rug to the burning barrel.

I constantly shout, "Really?" at my machine when it does something "stupid".  I flip off dropped objects on their way down to the floor.  And recently, I learned that that begins the frustration train rolling.  It treks then to yelling at myself, then God, then other people, and never once is there anything real to get upset about.

So in other words, I am learning about my triggers.  Add "boredom" to the list and you have the troika of my constant downfalls.


And I am trying to do something about them.  Admitting fear was a big help.  Breaking myself of talking to inanimate objects is starting to as well.  Boredom is still a challenge.  I don't need more activity as much as an "off" switch for my brain.

And I am learning I have more "image constructs" of myself to tear down.  For example, I have told myself a lot that I am good at prayer time- but when I hear stories of what really dedicated prayer warriors have done, I am shamed.  I have found myself having to require "kicks in the butt" to pray about certain things, and that needs to change.

The pastor I was listening to today is teaching his congregation that it isn't about "doing"- doing the things you think are expected of a Christian- but "being"- being more like Christ, in action and attitude and everything else.  "Be more, do less" is the mantra, and he's right.  We all look around for something to do, some way to give, and sometimes it boils down to we're trying to prove to ourselves that we're being obedient- rather than being obedient and acting as Christ would.

He also brought up a quote about humility not being about thinking less of yourself, but more about others.  Man, do I suck at that!  But that's going to change, too.  God willing.

I guess maybe this was a Sunday Message- to myself.  I should copy it and tack it to the wall.  I do that a lot, too.

Time Machine co-ordinates VIXXXVI46911270

Yes, it isn't safe to be in the Musical Tardis with me this week, as the bubonic plague is kicking my butt, and we are about to spread it to the environs of January 1970!  Specifically January 12th, which in addition to being my sister's 18th birthday, saw the fall of Biafra (look it up kiddies, knowledge is good for you) and celebrations in Kansas City over the Chiefs winning the 4th Super Bowl.  In other words, nothing big breaking today.  Which means we can get right on to POTM Marvin Gaye introducing our non-semi-finalists in the 2018 Beauty Contest!  Marvin, how about you give us the first three...


No problem, man, and may I say these ladies all are winners in my book!  Anyway, let's start off with a returning contestant with three M10 #1s under her lovely belt!  I give you...

...Melody Prochet!  Next, we have another returning contestant... an' I don't really know how she didn't make the finals...

...Marilyn Monroe!  Next up, and last for this group, a lady who hit the M10 with a great song called No Coffee and a weird video with a guy in an eagle suit...

...Amber Coffman!  And back to you, CW!

Uhhh... yeah, thanks, man.  Think I'm getting ready for an ibuprofen break here soon, but let's see if I can't knock out your Panel picks for this week.

First we have Mel and Tim's Backfield In Motion, which had already fallen off the Cashbox charts after peaking the middle of last month.

Then comes the #1 from South Africa this week- the Tremeloes (sounding nothing like their hit Silence Is Golden) with Call Me Number One.

Next is John Lennon and whatever iteration of "Plastic", "Ono", and "Band" he was currently using, with Cold Turkey at #43.

The #9 song on CB was Elvis and Don't Cry Daddy.

Just above him at #8 was Neil Diamond and Holly Holy.

The Jackson Five were at #4 with I Want You Back.

Tommy Roe's Jam Up- Jelly Tight was at # 5.

The Archies were at #11 with Jingle Jangle.

Bobby Sherman's La La La (basically what I do whenever I hear a Bobby Sherman song, with hands on ears) was at #12.

Peter Paul and Mary (seriously, when you first try to start Peter with a "Pa" and then change it to "PP"...) are at #3 with Leaving On A Jet Plane.

All I could find out about these guys were that they were a 1-hit wonder in Holland- the Cats and Marian.  (Or Marran, my notes are a tad sloppy.)

Roy Orbison's Penny Arcade, an Australia only release, is next.

The CB #1, BJ Thomas and Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head, next.

The Supremes 1.0's swan song, Someday We'll Be Together, is at #6.

Somebody got an advance copy of The Jaggerz doing The Rapper- it doesn't debut nationally until next week, and then at #122!

Shocking Blue with  Venus was at #7 and streaking up.

And finally the CB #2, Led Zep and Whole Lotta Love.

And this was most definitely a two-horse race, so your choice:  Shocking Blue or BJ Thomas?

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Marvin?  Your next grouping?

Yes, sir, I can't wait to get it on with the list!  The last three non finalists include yet another Amber...

...Amber Bain, The Japanese House, that is!  Next, the girl we saw in that oh-so-sexy video for their hit Zombies...

...Elizabeth Ellison of Radiation City!  And the last one on the non-finalist list, from the cool jazz of Escondido...

...Jessica Maros!  Back over to our moanin' host with the most- germs, that is...


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Yeah, thanks for that.  So the 6D has a question for you- who remembers Messy Marvin?

He made messes with everything but the Hershey's chocolate syrup he was advertising way back when.  He grew up to be Peter Billingsley, who at the age of 12 was in the movie A Christmas Story in 1983.  That show was basically taken from the memoirs and was narrated by one Jean Shepard- a guy whose girl-like name led Shel Silverstein to write A Boy Named Sue.  And according to Johnny Cash that song debuted at his house at a sing-a-long in which Shel performed it, Joni Mitchel first did Both Sides Now, Graham Nash did an early version of Marrakesh Express, Kris Kristofferson debuted Me And My Bobby McGee- and Bob Dylan played Lay Lady Lay for the first time.

And that song was to have been the theme for the movie Midnight Cowboy, but he didn't get it done in time, so it went to Nilsson's Everybody's Talkin'.  And the main scored them- by Ferrante and Teicher- was at #10 this week with no panel love.


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All right, un-messy Marvin!  Give us the first three of the final six!

I'll let that one go because you're sick.  Anyway, the final contestants are...

...Krista Ru from POWERS (and she does have powers!)...

...Mod Squadder Peggy Lipton... man that Link had it going ON!  And...

...Justine Brown, who had the hit Nobody Like You with her band Easy Love! Whoa!


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  The barely-breathing stat-pack:

Brenda and the Tabulations, an act we seem to hit far in excess of its chart success, were at #101 with The Touch Of You, which would peak at 50 later on.  B&T would be one of the 40 musical acts mentioned in Reunion's Like Is A Rock (But The Radio Rolled Me).

The #70 in '70 were the Intrigues with I'm Gonna Love You.  They were basically a one-hit-wonder who scored with In A Moment, and this song got no higher.

And I had to laugh when I saw the title of the song at #1 in the UK- Rolf Harris (convicted of child molesting in 2013) with Two Little Boys.  In truth, though, this was an old song about war- originally written as a Civil War song, about two little boys playing soldier, one who shares his horse when his friend's horse breaks, and later pulls him off the battlefield in the war.  It was written in 1902 by Edward Madden, who also claims to his credit By The Light Of The Silvery Moon and On Moonlight Bay.

Marvin, the last of the group?

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You bet!  Next up, the hot Russian chick from Alkonost...

...Ksenia Pobuzhanskaya!!!!!!  I don't think she's takin' no crap- Scrappy better be  careful!  Next, a new member of the old band Squeeze...

...Yolanda Charles!  Ooh mama!  And finally, the singer from Sunflower Bean..

...Julia Cumming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  What a lineup!  I'm glad I'm not the dog...

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You and me both!  And now, let me get in this week's M10:

Shilpa Ray's Got A Heartful Of Dirt down from 7 to 10.

Beat Of My Drum down from 6 to 9.

Yet another record breaking week- her 12th- for Mo Kenny and Unglued, down from 5 to 8.

Dent May's Take Me To Heaven up from 10 to 7.


And our one new debut- her name is Sarah Tudzin, she calls her band "a rotating cast of BFFs" called illuminati hotties, and describes her LA music as "Post-Neptune burrito-core".  Here is illuminati hotties at #6...





Sunflower Bean moves up 3 to #5 with I Was A Fool.

Manhattanoid Creepazoids drops from 3 to 4.

Strawberry Runners doing their patented late-climb thing, up a spot to 3 with Garden Hose in week #7.

Mo hangs at #2 for a second week with On The Roof.

Which means the returning number one-

...The Shacks and Audrey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And for those of you who played along at home, the winner of the POTM with a 19-13 margin...

...former contestant Mariska Veres and Shocking Blue with Venus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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And now it's time!  The dog is ready...

The ballots are ready...

The treats are ready...

Are you ready to make your pick, Scrappy?

Okay!  Then let me line up your choices...

...and GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the winner is...

....Justine Brown!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nice job, Boofus!  Tune in next time for 1971!