All the news that's, well, maybe not fit to print.

Here at TAW, we realize that there is REAL news happening.  Chinese officials in Gansu are searching for survivors of an earthquake that had killed up to 89 per my recent visit to Xinhua.  Iraqi authorities are struggling to cope with an "al-Qaeda style" jailbreak that freed over a hundred prisoners and killed at least 20 guards.  We also realize that We here are not qualified to be YOUR news source for such things.  Then there are the things that aren't really news, but US news providers think is news.  The coming baby royal, Obama's heroic persecution prosecution of George Zimmerman, and not to mention his lovely vacation "while others are furloughed by the sequester.  Only as they rise to AH-CRAP level stupidity do they rate our attention.

In between are feel-good stories like this one:

A woman in Japan had somehow managed to get stuck in the (usually) less-than-8-inch gap between a subway car and  the platform.  After an emergency announcement, dozens of people rose up to push the 30-ton car off her leg and pull her to freedom. 

Also in-between are items like the death of "journalist"  Helen Thomas (to which we can only say, "If you can't say nothing nice about someone..."

But also somewhere in there are the stories TAW features, all-American AH-CRAP stories, such as:

An officer and a dog were investigating a vehicle in Gainesville early on Sunday when Antonio Morrison, 19, barked at the animal, police said.

Florida law makes it a crime to "harass" a police dog while the animal is "in the performance of its duties".

Morrison, who plays linebacker for the University of Florida Gators team, said the dog had barked first.

University of Florida football coach Will Muschamp said Mr Morrison would be suspended for at least two games when the season starts later this summer.

"I'm extremely disappointed in Antonio Morrison's decision making,"  Muschamp said in a statement.

It was the dog's fault!  He called me a woof... or a ruff, I'm not sure which...

Or how about this one, brought to us by the brain surgeons at MSNBC... host Melissa Harris Perry is upset with the Texas legislature.  Since they are making it a law to lay upon abortion providers in the state the onerous burden of proving that they are actually qualified to perform such a procedure, several liberal group demanding abortions be "free and for any reason"  (sure, I get my kicks getting pregnant and then vacuuming the results out like it was a dust bunny) were going to "celebrate" the law's passage.  On the tip, Capitol police searched purses and among other things, confiscated tampons that they believed were going to be thrown at the legislators.  Therefore, she went on TV with tampon earrings...

...as an example to the protestors of how to avoid the "unreasonable search-and-seizure".

But was it unreasonable?  The article by Robert Laurie goes on to say...

Back in July, women in Texas were travelling to the State Senate to "observe" the debate over the State's new abortion restrictions.  Lt. Governor David Dewhurst - who is also the Senate President - didn't want protesters lobbing junk at the lawmakers.  So police searched purses and confiscated tampons.  This may sound ridiculous, but the Washington Post reported that they also found a jar of urine, 18 jars of feces, and three jars of paint - so something was about to go down.
Either that, or liberal women just like carrying feces around with them.


As much as I want to, I don't suppose I really have to add anything beyond that.

But of course, Texas and governor Rick Perry hate women, don't they?  I wonder how well Mellissa Harris Perry would do in Dubai. 

 (Norwegian) Interior designer Marte Deborah Dalelv was on a business trip in Dubai when she says she was raped.

The 24-year-old reported the March attack to the police but found herself charged with having extramarital sex, drinking alcohol, and perjury.

Welcome to the lovely Arab world, where a woman is automatically charged with adultery if she is raped... UNLESS...

According to the Emirates Centre for Human Rights, UAE law states a rape conviction can only be secured after a confession or as the result of testimony from four adult male witnesses to the crime.


Never mind that the four witnesses would probably be involved in it.  Sure makes it hard to figure why the Muslims and Hindus have such a hard time getting along in India, home of the covered up gang rape.

Her alleged attacker (a colleague), she said, received a 13-month sentence for extra-marital sex and alcohol consumption.

And both she and the attacker were released today.

But not all TAW news is thus unpleasant- as long as you weren't there...

A woman in Manchester, England, has been given a fine after taking her horse into a McDonald's restaurant.

She was initially refused service while in the saddle in the drive-through lane of the branch in Whitefield, Greater Manchester.
She then led the animal inside, where it defecated on the floor.
Police were called to the outlet in Bury New Road on Saturday.
A statement posted on the Facebook page of Greater Manchester Police's Whitefield Division read: "The staff refused to serve the women due to company policy. The woman then took the horse into the restaurant, who ended up doing his business on the floor.


Perhaps McDonalds should stop horsing around with the drive thru rules...

Another note that fits our bill compares the posh vacations that President Obama takes with those of Vladimir Putin:

President Vladimir Putin climbed into the Sea Explorer 5 bathyscaphe on Monday off the coast of Gogland, an island in the Gulf of Finland located 180 kilometers west of St. Petersburg. Putin rode the small submersible craft 60 meters down to see the remains of the naval frigate Oleg, which sank in 1869.

Thus, while Obama practices his Robin Leach impressions, Putin is doing his best Ringo Starr:

 

I'd like to be

under the sea,

in an octopus's garden in the shade...

And of course, we also feature the latest in northern Allen County wildlife.  For example, while Scrappy and I prepare to go out the front door for a walk Saturday night...

...Ms. Thing cruises the back yard for a bite!


And today's tale finishes off with a story.  Last night when we went to bed, Scrappy and I saw a raccoon dash across the parking lot for a midnight dumpster dive.  Then, we saw two more.  Then, a fourth one flew across the lot.  Briefly, I considered throwing my shorts on to take a few shots of the diners, but decided the bed was much more comfortable.  My wisdom was proved about five minutes later when Scrappy started whining and barking again.  This time I watched one of the coons return to the woods... but Scrappy acted like something was on the neighbor's porch.  Again I thought about going out; again, I wisely decided not to.  Moments later I learned that what he saw was not on the porch, but just outside it... and it wasn't a coon, but a SKUNK that they had scared up.  I think, though, the coon got off easy, because I didn't smell the big stink.

Better him than us, I say.