Martin World News

Okay, Bobby G has once again talked me off the ledge.  I told him it almost wasn't any fun to do MWN posts since the world has gone into such a wave of self-imposed stupidity (see my last post on Hurricane Harvey on social media).  But Bobby said, "---Don't give up on the MWN...I LIKE seeing people being stupid in OTHER countries as well (lends a sense of CONTINUITY...globally-speaking)...heh.  Okay, so maybe it's not the BEST motive... but he's right, we HAVE to find something to laugh about, lest we all become like those that are offended by statues and think severed heads are amusing.  And as I'd rather have Kathy Griffin chop off MY head than find her funny, I have risen to the occasion.  Let's start over at the BBC...


ITEM:  Vasil Tabilov, leader of the Azeri enclave (AKA a chunk cut off from the rest of Azerbaijan by a hunk of Armenia) of Nakhchivan (pronounced {muffled sneeze}-ivan) has published a list of thirty books or other reading material he finds that all Azeris should take the time to peruse.  Of course the #1 on the list was former Azeri President Heydar Aliyev's (pronounced, "hey dere, all'a yev") work  "The appeal of the national leader Heydar Aliyev to the people of Azerbaijan in connection with the new year 2001, a new era and the third millennium", there were some interesting English works on the list.

13th was (what I assume to be Aesop's) Fables; 14th was "a letter from Abraham Lincoln to his son's headmaster" which I found is quite popular, though the Illinois Historic Preservation Society says Lincoln never wrote it; 18 was Theodore Dreiser's The Genius, which wiki explains as  "a semi-autobiographical novel by Theodore Dreiser, first published in 1915. It concerns Eugene Witla, a talented painter of strong sexual desires who grapples with his commitment to his art and the force of his erotic needs."  Okay, see the societal value there.  Jack London's Love Of Life was 19, followed by Hemingway's The Old Man And The Sea.  At 21 was Machiavelli's The Prince- and at 25 was a cause of confusion.  It seems that Tabilov's countrymen saw the title of the philosophical poem by Maurice Maeterlinck, The Life Of Bees, and thought they were getting a beekeeping manual.

ITEM:  I am not completely sure what the most ridiculous part of this story is, but:  The International Federation Of Icelandic Horse Associations- a committee whose title's word count outnumbers the members of the commission  6-2- has put its foot down, forbidding anyone who wants to register their horse's name on the official registry MUST give it an Icelandic name.  Originally formed to keep people from registering horses with obscene names (thus eliminating my need to find out what $#!thead is in Icelandic), they put their four feet down when a woman tried to name her horse Mosan- which, while I now know it is not Icelandic, I still don't know where she got it.  According to a Google search, it could mean something to due with France's Meuse River, a language group of Pacific NW Indians- I mean native Amer- oh, hell, I mean Indians- or even the brand name of that new Toilet-in-a-van that was on the news lately.

ITEM-ETTE:  And in St Petersburg, Russia, several contestants in the Cozy Garden competition to beautify the city were disqualified- for using what I have to assume is an old Soviet beautification trick:

... but local people on Tkachey Street were unimpressed when they saw gardeners had taped green branches to wilting trees - especially when they weren't even from the same type of tree, Life website reported.

Now, we move our shaking heads over to FoxNews, where we find:

ITEM:  The Des Moines Register reports that a Polk County Democratic Party committee voted not to offer a speaking invitation to Heather Ryan for their upcoming steak fry, where several members of Congress and other candidates from across the state will speak.


And why is that?  Well, it seems that Ryan, who describes herself as "a little left of Jesus", whatever THAT means, is known for being a tad foul mouthed, exemplified by admittedly calling a rival for a state legislature spot "an asshole".

Good manners, good looks.

“The party that tells women to sit down and shut up is not supposed to be the Democratic Party,” she said. “… I may not be refined, but I’m real. The polished turds that they continue to shove down our throats as politicians are still turds.”  Far be it from me to argue, but... maybe the problem isn't with women, maybe it's YOU.

ITEM:  From the "I still don't think you get it" file:  The town of Mataelpino, Spain, instead of a "running of the bulls", has a "running of the balls"- in this case a 9-ft-high, 660 pound ball with a bull painted on it.  It careens down the street at around 20 MPH, and puts people in the hospital far more effectively than any enraged bovine.  You can watch the video on a lot of spots, but as it is a Twitter vid I don't know how to link it, but here's one place you can find it.  The one guy who hit his head on the ground is in a coma with a skull fracture.  The mayor said he would look into putting up some strategically placed foam along the route next year.  BONUS:  Animal-rights groups cheered the idea because it didn’t involve bulls. PETA loved it so much it offered to cover the costs of towns in Spain and Portugal that replaced their bull runs with ball runs, Business Insider reported.

PETA.  Putting Everyone in Terrible Accidents.


ITEM-ETTE:  Headline only needed.


Jerry Springer 'considering' run for Ohio gov, friend says


Meanwhile, in Moscow...

ITEM:  One of our islands are missing...

The Russian far-east island of Sakhalin disappeared from the Russian version of "Google Maps" the other day.  They claim it was a technical glitch, but check out the timing...


Russian media first spotted the technical glitch at around 2 a.m. local Moscow time on Monday, coinciding with North Korea’s firing of a ballistic missile over Japan’s northern Hokkaido Island, the state-run RIA Novosti news agency reported Tuesday. 

Methinks someone's hiding- and methinks we got a good idea of what Russia thinks of North Korea's missile guidance systems...

WHAT?  You told me everyone uses Google Maps to find their targets...