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Monday, February 5, 2018

Chris' guaranteed not boring Super Bowl Postgame Report

I don't want to bore the non-sporties out here (and we became friends HOW, lol?), but I have to make some comments on last night's lovely Super Bowl game.

1- Line of the night

For you all that didn't watch, in the first half, New England tried a flea flicker that involved Tom Brady catching a pass.  However...



...he was frightened by the approaching defender that didn't exist and dropped it.  As wide open as he was, he'd have looked like Stephan Diggs beating the Rams.  Instead, he looked like a man too busy calculating the seconds it would take him to run for cover out of bounds to pay attention to the ball.  Laurie then delivered the best burn on Brady ever heard.  Rather than just type it out, I made a commemorative meme...



Not long later, Philly's QB DID catch a flea flicker pass- for a TD.  Thereby making the difference between winning and losing the team that had a QB that can catch the ball.  I guess now, Brady's nickname of GOAT (Greatest Of All Time) will have to be changed to Glanced Off A Thumb.


2-  Two words, beyond which nothing need be said, but I will anyway-



...Cris Collinsworth.


He tried hard(ly) not to show a Patriot bias that was simply bubbling out of his mouth like slobber all night long, but was a particular maestro in "analyzing" two Philadelphia scores that, had he had his way, would have both been overturned.  They were not overturned, and anyone with a basic football knowledge and no bias for the Patriots would have seen that.  Instead, he bloviated on about how he just didn't understand the rules anymore if he was wrong.  Al Michaels gently tried to save him both times (his Pats bias a lot more concealed), but he forged onward to make sure his foot had the very deepest part of his mouth.

As I googled up the image above, my search page was inundated with stories like "Fans call for head of Cris Collinsworth over 'bias' play-by-play ", "Cris Collinsworth's 'biased' Super Bowl broadcast performance slammed by NFL fans", and the second- a play where all America saw Zach Ertz take several running steps before diving into the end zone while Collinsworth insisted he was still "in process of catching the ball" was so bad, one Tweeter nailed it perfectly:

God, Collinsworth, shut the hell up. He got married and had three children with the ball before he hit the ground. 

Before I step a little to the left, I'd like to share a story from years ago that always makes me laugh.  I was listening to WLW Cincinnati and their Sports Talk show with former Bengal Bob Trumpy- who despised Collinsworth, newly retired and coming on the air next.  Trumpy and his guest LOCKED THE DOOR TO THE STUDIO- leaving Collinsworth banging on the door, pleading to be left in- very much on the air- while Trumpy and friends laughed their butts off.  As did I.


3- The one thing that Collinsworth actually got right last night came right after the replay official made an ass of him the second time:

"I cannot wait for them to change this rule."


That rule being of course the convoluted and completely unnecessary "process of the catch rule" that is the bane of every fan everywhere.  Al Michaels, in what was either a sigh of agreement, a prayer for his partner not to screw up any more reviews, or a wry smackdown that Collinsworth would never catch, replied, "Hopefully before the end of the game."


But the NFL prolly won't change anything.  Know why?  Because EVERYBODY wants them too.  And the NFL will go out of their way to prove they're right and the whole world is wrong.  Don't believe it?  All season long fans AND players griped and grumbled about games on Thursday night.  Viewing stats showed fairly conclusively, that overexposure was dragging down ratings.  And the Wednesday before the Super Bowl, the NFL announced a five year, $550 million deal with Fox for Thursday night games.

It used to be the NFL internal motto was "protect the shield".




Apparently now the motto is, "plaster the shield on every man woman and child, 24/7/365, resistors will be eliminated."

I wonder if maybe I should ask permission to use that picture from the NFL...



1 comment:

  1. Chris:
    ---BRILLIANT meme!
    (didn't watch the game, but saw the highlights...good enough for me).
    ---Yeah, Foles did a wonderful job of showing Brady HOW to "do things right".
    (and to think Foles was a BACKUP QB to boot).
    ---Sportscaster BIAS?
    Yepper. And that's a MAJOR reason I don't watch anymore.
    (too much like P-O-L-I-T-I-C-S-!)
    ---I did see the clip of Ertz dive INTO the end zone...no question there about POSSESSION of the ball!
    --- A long time ago in a stadium far, far away, the NFL was once part of the good guys - they actually catered to their FANS (customers) and delivered much better "service" to those of us who USED to follow the sport (and before overpaid "athletes" took the field and the also overpaid biased booth bums called the play-by-plays).
    These days the NFL suffers from terminal OPPOSITIONAL-DEFIANCE-DISORFDER!
    (gee, that's ODD, isn't it?)
    ---Funny how the Thursday Night gig has such LOW viewership...some idiots never learn.
    ---I think this was a MARVELOUS post that spelled out much of what ails the league and it's management, commentators and "Mission(less) Statement".

    Good call.

    Stay safe (and YES, you CAN throw long on first down) up there, brother.

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