Martin World News

Well, it's certainly been a while since I rolled the ol' MWN banner out, mainly because I hadda wait on the world to get a bit more amusing.  Whether it has or not remains questionable, but here's what caught MY eye...

ITEM:  First we send you out to the Emerald Isle of Ireland, who just went through a controversial vote on abortion.  NO, I am not about to get THAT serious, but if I were Irish (and therefore still Catholic), this would have left me a bit confused.

Story #1:  A pro-life leader accused Irish bishops of "destroying the Irish conscience" and thus allowing the electorate to liberalize the laws.  John Smeaton, head of the Society For Protection Of Unborn Children, had this among other things to say about how the bishops messed things up:


One of the ways in which the Irish bishops misled the faithful was by telling them in 1992 that they could vote according to their "consciences" on a referendum to liberalize abortion laws. The government was threatening to pass even worse abortion laws if that referendum didn't pass. Irish Catholics "were being invited by their bishops to vote in favour of an intrinsically unjust law that would permit abortion" in various circumstances, Smeaton said.


So the Bishops declared it not a sin to vote yes- or did they?  In the next article...

Catholics who voted Yes in the referendum to repeal the Eighth Amendment should consider going to confession, the Bishop of Elphin Kevin Doran has said.

He said he believed voting Yes was a sin if someone “knew and intended abortion as the outcome” of their vote.

The bishop was speaking on RTÉ’s Today with Sean O’Rourke about Friday’s referendum, which saw 66 per cent of the Republic’s 2.15 million voters backing repeal of the amendment.

Bishop Doran said “every person’s vote has both a moral significance and a political significance”.

While “the Catholic Church is a family and nobody ever gets struck off”, he said “what I’d say to a Catholic who voted Yes is this, if you voted Yes knowing and intending that abortion would be the outcome then you should consider coming to confession”.


So it wasn't a sin to vote to legalize abortion- unless you did it figuring that abortions would then occur, which would be a sin.  "Och, I'll vote yes, no one'll ever go through with it..."

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ITEM:  While we're in the area of religion (if not faith), let us turn to Louisiana where a televangelist needs YOUR help...

Jesse Duplantis, 68, a Christian minister based in Destrehan, about 25 miles east of New Orleans, says his ministry has paid cash for three private jets.  Duplantis is now reportedly seeking the funds for a Dassault Falcon 7X, worth $54 million.

The problem with the previous jets, he says, is that they require multiple stops to refuel. But flying the Falcon 7X, Duplantis says, will allow him to save money and not pay “those exorbitant prices with jet fuel all over the world.”  

“I really believe that if Jesus was physically on the earth today, he wouldn’t be riding a donkey,” Duplantis says in the video, “He’d be in an airplane preaching the gospel all over the world.”

I really believe that if Jesus was physically on the earth right now, you'd be looking for another line of work.  But just getting around isn't all there is to it, is there, Jesse?

Duplantis’ video comes after another televangelist, Kenneth Copeland in Texas, purchased the Gulfstream V jet for $36 million.


Oh, a little monkey see, monkey do, here.  And why, pray tell, do y'all need private jets?


Both televangelists defended their use of private jets during a joint appearance on Copeland’s program, saying that commercial airlines are filled with “a bunch of demons” that get in the way of their busy schedules.


I'm kinda thinking that they'll still be full of demons...


ITEM:  Perhaps the stupidest thing so far from the haters on social media came this weekend when Ivanka Trump posted a lovely mother child-moment...

...and the rabid left all pounced because she should be more worried about all the "terrible things" her father is doing than posting "contrived photo ops".  Oh, you mean like holding her father's fake severed head?  Just so any stray leftists of this level of sickness drop by- this is the kind of thing that makes me willing to vote for Donald Trump for the next 500 years if I have to dig up his grave and prop him up.  Your hate makes me sick.  The love in that picture reminds me that I can't call fire down on you.  Just yet.


ITEM:  Next up, a series of three "you get what you deserve" stories.  Now this first one isn't so much about the guy who got victimized as where it happened...


Here is update as Austen Akinwuronu, a 63-year-old businessman, who allegedly obtained the ATM card pin of a man fraudulently and withdrew N173,000 from his account,  was on Monday brought before an Ikeja Magistrates’ Court.
Meanwhile according to newsmen, the accused was arraigned before the Magistrate, Mrs B.O. Osunsanmi, on a two-count charge of fraud and stealing.
Akinwuronu, who resides at Ejigbo, a Lagos suburb, however, pleaded not guilty and was admitted to a bail of N100,000 with two sureties in like sum.
Osunsanmi said the sureties should be gainfully employed with an evidence of two years tax payment to the Lagos State Government.
The prosecution  had told the court that the accused committed the offences on Feb. 6 at Iyana-Ipaja in the suburb of Lagos as he defrauded the complainant, Mr Anayochukwu Ojor, of N173,000.

ASP Ezekiel Ayorinde said the complainant ignorantly sent his Automatic Teller Machine (ATM) card number to the accused when he received a text from the accused that his Bank Verification Number (BVN) had been blocked.
“The accused sent a message to the complainant that his BVN had been blocked and that he should send his ATM pin so that it can be rectified.

“The complainant, who was not aware of the fraud being perpetrated by the accused, thought that the message was from his bank.


“He quickly sent his ATM pin and after few seconds, he received debit alert of N173,000 from his bank,” he said.

Yes siree, a Nigerian falling for a Nigerian scam!    Maybe the next one I get, I should figure out a way to change the banks and such and scam them!  "Dearest One, this is Martipher Christian, and Have to inform you of the passing of Joe Bubblkionge, who claimed to be your sixth cousin twice removed.  He had N173,000 in an account at our local bank and wanted you to have it..."


ITEM:  It seems I'm not the only one who's made use of the Facebook "30-day-snooze" feature of late...

Papua New Guinea will ban Facebook for a month while it identifies fake profiles and considers the website's effect on the country.

Communication minister Sam Basil said users posting pornography and false information would be identified.

He also suggested the country could set up its own rival social network.

Facebook has faced scrutiny following the Cambridge Analytica scandal and has been criticised over the way it has tried to tackle fake news.


I'm guessing Zuckerland isn't trembling at the news given PNG's 10% computer-use rate.


ITEM:  And this is my favorite...

Local police in Turkmenistan are inspecting toilets for evidence that locals have been using newspapers containing photographs of President Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedov to wipe themselves, it's been reported.

The regional police in the western region of Balkan have allegedly instructed community policing officers to check toilets in public places and private houses, and to find evidence of people using newspapers with pictures of the country's president as tissue paper, Moscow-based news website Fergana.ru - known for its credible reporting on Turkmen affairs - reports.

Officers have been told to look for the Turkmen leader's "soiled" pictures at landfill sites, as well as among garbage at waste collection points.

"There is a special janitor at each landfill site whose job is to inspect garbage, to look for soiled newspaper photos, to establish the house or flat of the newspaper subscriber and to report it to the police," Fergana says.

It adds that people found guilty of "damaging" the president's image will be issued with a warning. But, according to the Alternativnnyy Novosti Turkmenistana website, there are likely to be a huge number of issued warnings, as Turkmens - impoverished from an ongoing economic crisis - do not tend to spend their money on toilet paper.

At the obvious level, that's kinda disturbing.  But they DO have a good reason...


"Why buy toilet papers if you have piles of newspapers which people in Turkmenistan are forced to subscribe to," the report says. It adds that it is difficult not to soil the Turkmen leader's photos because his pictures dominate all newspapers.


Fort Wayne has a similar problem with Tom Henry... JUST KIDDING, MR MAYOR!

Wait a minute... I'm not sure that was funny...

ITEM: Yesterday I read a very inflammatory article on the BBC about the government crisis in Italy.  What crisis, you say?

Italy, the EU's fourth-biggest economy, has been without a government since elections in March because no political group can form a majority.

Two of the big winners from the vote - Five Star and the League - attempted to join forces but abandoned efforts after the president vetoed their choice of finance minister.

Mr Mattarella said he could not appoint the Eurosceptic Paolo Savona to the post, citing concern from investors at home and abroad.

The rare move by the president sparked fury from both parties, who say they will reject Mr Cottarelli's nomination in parliament.


Now I went back on my computer's history to fish this article out.  Problem is, what I found is NOT the article that I originally read- and even though I went to the link, it was utterly neutered.    It originally ran with a headline paraphrase of a quote that has been removed, basically accusing the President of caving in to Angela Merkel and the EU.  I did fish this quote out of the rest of the web...

“We worked for weeks, day and night, to ensure the birth of a government which defends the interests of Italian citizens. But someone (under pressure from whom?) said no to us,” Salvini wrote in a Facebook post. “At this point, with the honesty, coherence and courage of always, you must now have a say,” Salvini added in a call for early elections.


As well as this:

Both Salvini and Five Star leader Luigi Di Maio reacted furiously to the president’s intervention on Sunday evening, with Di Maio blaming credit-rating companies for torpedoing the cabinet.

“Let’s be clear then, what’s the point of going to vote since governments are decided by the credit-rating agencies and the financial lobbies,” Di Maio said on his Facebook page. 

Looks like someone is afraid of pissing off Queen Angela- and it ain't the Italians.  You know who it might be, BBC?


ITEM:  And just so we remember the point of MWN is world-shaking nonsense:


Snoop Dogg now has a Guinness World Record for a cocktail under his belt.

The “Drop It Like It’s Hot” hitmaker and rapper Warren G were among those who set a record for “the largest paradise cocktail” over the weekend at BottleRock Napa Valley, USA Today reports.

The massive alcoholic beverage contained gin and juice -- two ingredients famously included in a Snoop Dogg song title.

The cocktail contained 180 bottles of Hendricks gin, 154 bottles of apricot brandy and 38 3.78 litre jugs of orange juice, topped with a giant drinking straw, pink parasol and a garnish of pineapple and melon on a sword.


Now, Snoop, make me a 50-gallon Duck Fart, and we'll talk...