The news from the middle of nowhere

So it's been a while since I did three posts finding news from 30 of the world's smallest countries.  Today, I thought I would switch it up to the "middle of nowhere" nations.  So how did I pick them?  I decided to go with the lowest population per square mile.  As I start this, I realize that isn't really a distance "middle of nowhere in all cases, but as each place outdoes the distance to the nearest city of 2 million that there is from Ft Wayne to either Chicago or Detroit (160 miles and change*), it works pretty good either way.  Keeping in mind that stat, and that Ft Wayne's per sq mi population is a solid 2,387- as well as the * which indicates there are a couple of exceptions upcoming- let's see if we can find fun news stories from places you have to really be loud to irritate your neighbor:


From low to higher...

1- Greenland

Population: 57K

PSM: .077 ( so you need about 13 miles to get 1 neighbor)

Distance to nearest 2 million pop city:  Liverpool, UK, 1,725 miles

Story:  Like before, I am finding as official a news site as I can and running with the lead story.  Curiously, that story in this case is a reprint from a Montreal paper about how Canadians feel about dealing with their indigenous populations.  Apparently the idea was how should Denmark (who nominally rules Greenland) deal with THEIR indigenous.  It did lead to a rather antagonistic comment on the article from someone who if I get the gist right, says the only thing that the Inuits of Greenland want from Denmark is to get the officials from the "corrupt " Siumut Party ( surprise surprise, the local Socialists) the hell out of power.  Bernie and Ocasia lose another district...


2- Falkland Islands

Pop:  3,058 (About one third of the attendance at a typical Komet game)

PSM:  .65  (so every 3 sq mi gets you 2 fellers)

Distance to nearest 2 mil city: Buenos Aires, Argentina, 1,188 miles


Story:  Since the stupidly picked fight with the UK in 1982, Argentina has been trying to identify 122 unknown soldiers.  Three were ID'ed this month, cutting the remainder down to 26.  One not publicly IDed to the world at the family's request, the other two a couple of teenagers. 


3- Mongolia

Pop: 2.9 million strewn across the Gobi Desert

PSM: 4.84 (so you could get a euchre game going in your typical mile)

Distance:  The city of Hohot, China, capital of China's "Inner Mongolia" province, is not far from the border, though it is 532 miles from the Mongolian capital, which is now called Ullanbattar, since Ulan Bator was too easy

Story:

So yeah, because we are in a desert, we actually have a flood going on.  Some 600 households were evacuated in the far west end of the nation, as the Ider River- described as "frozen 170–180 nights per year"- washes out of its banks.  Kinda the "Oceanfront property in Arizona" thing, yes?

Oh, and I forgot- I got that from the news site "go go Mongolia".  I can't make the stuff up fast enough.


4- Western Sahara

Pop: 604K

PSM:  5.88  (But why would you want to?)

Distance:  Rabat, Morocco, 765 miles

Story:  For those of you not in the know, this is a basically worthless chunk of land which its neighbors demanded that Spain give up the rule of.  When Franco died, new King Juan Carlos said, well, I don't want it, and pulled his rulers out.  Morocco and Mauritania fought over it until the Mauritanians Gibbs-slapped themselves; enough of a local party rose up to protest Moroccan occupation without being enough to get anybody to pay attention to them.  Currently, it is run more or less by Morocco on a nod-nod-wink-wink basis, with Algeria helping out and nobody still listening to the local party, which call the place the " Sahrawi Arab Democratic Republic ".  So I go into this not expecting to find much...

But I actually did find something interesting.  The UN SecGen's personal envoy to Western Sahara has issued invitations to Morocco and the party local (called Polisaro) to meet on the fall to re-ignite talks that went belly up 6 years ago.  That envoy is one Horst Kohler, who used to be President of Germany, until he mentioned something about foreign deployment of German troops being beneficial to German foreign trade, which got him accused of "gunboat diplomacy" and he resigned in 2010.  Perhaps a little "gun-camel diplomacy" might help here...


5- Namibia

Pop: 2.4 million

PSM:  7.5 (Getting close to a bridge tourney, here)

Distance:  Cape Town, South Africa, just over 900 miles to the capital


Story:  So here we have a welfare program of sorts running into trouble.  Apparently they pick what they call "marginalized communities" that the government pays 9 companies to deliver care packages consisting of  "three 10kg (22 lb) bags of maize meal, three 750ml  (4 1/2 pints total) bottles of cooking oil, and three 400g (14 oz) of tinned fish per household of five."  The last contract ran from October till May, and in June the Government renewed the contracts without putting them up for bid.  Some people felt this might be because of the contacts these companies have IN the government;  the government pled that the bid process (which should have apparently started right after the old contract started) takes FIVE months, and they didn't want people to starve in the meantime.  The new contract runs through March of next year,  “after which by then all processes and procedures would be in place to ensure a more responsive procurement mode”.   Uh-huh.


BTW, while I learned that there are some 21,400 households receiving the goods, I don't see whether it's a once a year thing or what.  Doesn't sound like a lot over a year, but...


6- French Guiana

Pop: 262K, roughly the same as Ft Wayne

PSM: 7.5 (roughly one-three hundredth of FTW)

Distance:  To Belem, Brazil, 514 miles

Story:  "An area of ​​Balata district, nicknamed "Bottom Chiney", was today the scene of a violent brawl. A man was shot and stabbed. It would be retaliation after a fight that took place Saturday night.

According to our information, the injured man is Engénor Jean-Bart, already convicted by justice several times. Transported by his own means to the hospital, he would be hit on the neck.
• MORE DETAILS IN OUR NEXT EDITION"

Meanwhile, on the south side of Fort Wayne...


7- Australia

Pop: 23.9 million, go figure

PSM: 8 even.  Four-on four footy, anyone?

Distance:  Australia actually HAS two cities with 2 million+, Melbourne and Sydney.  The next nearest, Surabaya in Java, is 3,000 miles give or take from either.


Story: 

ONE of Australia’s top transport planners has said he can see a future where traffic jams are nothing but a quaint memory.

But there might be a “scary” price to pay for motorists, he has cautioned. You might have to give up control of your car to a transportation equivalent of Big Brother.

Niroshan Jeyarajah, a senior manager at Transport for NSW’s Transport Management Centre, made the bold prediction at this week’s Smart Infrastructure Summit, held in Sydney.

Control of vehicles could gradually pass from drivers to a centralised traffic control body, he said, in the same way planes are controlled by air traffic control. Your car would even need to ask permission to get on the road at all.

Are you kidding?  These guys are beating each other up over stores charging for gocery bags!  You think Joe Roo is gonna just pull over into a parking lot when Big Kanga comes over his radio and tells him to?

8- Iceland

Pop:  337K

PSM: 8.47

Distance:  Again from Liverpool, 971 miles

Story: Icelandic PM Katrín Jakobsdóttir visited Icelandic immigration sites from the early 19th century in North Dakota and Manitoba.

"And if you haf a Democrat Party back home, you can have these dead people vote, ya?"

9- Suriname

Pop:  568K

PSM: 8.67

Distance:  To Caracas, Venezuela (and why would you go there?) 872 miles

Story:  French Guiana's next door neighbor's news leads off with a story about the runoff elections in Mali- 3,640 miles away.  Which, given it is in the article, is as good a way to get Timbuktu into a story about "middle of nowhere places" as any.

10- Botswana

Pop: 2 million

PSM: 9.16 (Finally, a baseball team!)

Distance:  a measly 325 miles to Pretoria, South Africa

Story:  "Molepolole chief magistrate, Linah Oahile-Mokibe yesterday shocked multitudes that filled the courtroom to the rafters when she announced that Tebogo Ramantosha 28, the son to the deceased couple and younger brother, has confessed to the offence of killing his mother, father, and brother."  My only question here is, he confessed to her? The police?  Mean a lot more if it came in front of said packed court.

Well, one other question:  Mole-y-pole-ole-ee?  And was the killer named after a buy-one, get-one sale?