First off, I have made a confession- I like to get the glory, more than I should. That became painfully clear when a couple of Time Machine comments twisted my underoos. One I handled well enough... the other I did not. I had a long talk with God- basically me talking and Him letting me listen to myself so I could see what a dumbass I can be. One thing I can never wrap my mind around properly is the disconnect between man's concept of self-esteem and God's concept of humility. So, apologies all around, and hopefully I will do better henceforth.
Second, this past weekend "Lambo Pastor" John Gray confessed to considering suicide. His confession- and following help by another oft-attacked pastor, TD Jakes- I think (and pray) might be a watershed moment for a preacher that I don't think was all the way connected to Christ before. Here are some excerpts from the Christian Post article:
“The truth is some of the stuff that tried to kill me I helped. Nobody wants to shout. Everybody needs to know some stuff wasn’t the devil, some stuff was you. It would be great if we shout for that too because when you shout for that what you’re saying is I take personal responsibility,” he said.
“I wanted to call it quits. ‘Hey you sound like you need counseling,’” he said, mimicking criticism.
“You do too. You do too. And I have counselors,” he revealed. “And let me help you. Some stuff you can’t slap oil on your forehead and ask for it to go away. Some stuff you gon’ have to work out. Some stuff you gon’ have to walk out. And you gonna need some certified Christian counseling and some therapy.”
“The external trappings of success have given us rose-colored glasses to what we think will give us peace. But if money could give you peace, if cars and houses could give you peace, then wealthy people wouldn’t commit suicide. And people who are on TV wouldn’t be taking anti-depressants because fame and money and things do not give you peace,” he said.
He also talked about facing his insecurities and said his wife, Aventer, married a broken man.
“When you’re single and you can lie to yourself, it’s easy to love what you see. But when you live in community with another person, all of the masks begin to crumble. So now my wife is left with a picture of a shadow of a man that she thought she knew and now I’m dealing with the unintended consequences of not healing properly from sexual abuse or not having the proper information on how to foster intimacy or what it means to be a Christian and a black man and the child of a single parent and not know what it means to build your house,” he explained.
“And so now I’m trying to be a husband and a father and a leader and I didn’t see any of those up close. So how can you be what you’ve never seen? No I’m running blind, scared outta my mind, crying most nights and I’m tired. And so I said I wonder how many other people have been faking it? Many of us are weary,” he said.
I found this to be a powerful confession, and I hope we will all pray for this man to at last put his life back on the track he needs to find to be in God's will. And I love what Pastor Jakes told him about getting there...
“It’s not a stage that you prayed for. It’s not a building that you prayed for. It’s not an opportunity that you prayed for. You’ve always wanted God to make a man out of you and He’s using the stage to make a man out of you. He’s using the building to make a man out of you. He’s using the opportunity to make a man out of you,” he said.
He told Gray that he was gifted and anointed because he was “broken.”
“You know how to bless everybody and everybody got your gift but nobody got you,” he said. “They got your gift but nobody got you.”
NOBODY GOT YOU. Because, you see, there's two sides to every Pastor worth his weight- God's Word and man's frailty. Pray for your pastors. You never know when they might be at that point...
(And, if you would, don't leave me out...)
And now, the funny stuff. It seems survey engine YouGov took on the subject about British sarcasm and American inability to detect it. It all started with a list that's floated around for a long time, of Brit phrases and what is really meant by them...
YouGov took the list and surveyed how many Birts saw the negative meanings vs an equal group of Yanks. The phrases they polled showed that "With the greatest respect" was understood as a slam by 68% of the Brits but only 40% of Americans; some of the other splits were:
"I'll bear it in mind" 55/38
"I hear what you say" 48/32
"You must come for dinner" 57/45
But before the Brits start patting themselves on the back for being clever, bear in mind that a master of snark like myself will be misunderstood 50% even with American phrases. It's not for no reason you hear social media comedians like myself lobby for the "sarcasm font." So I thought I might add my own list of "what Chris means if he says" the lines on the British list.
I hear what you say: And it is frigging stupid...
With the greatest respect: Can't wait to get out of this so I can go home and tell Laurie what an idiot you are...
That's not bad: It will take me years I don't have time to waste on it to get used to...
That's a very brave proposal: Better you than me...
Quite Good: I prolly mean 'quite good' here...
I would suggest: I might just as well do this myself...
Oh, incidentally/by the way: We used to use the phrase "evidently, it ended up" to indicate I am about to extricate myself from your boring story to bore you with mine...
I was a bit disappointed that: THAT really pissed me off...
Very interesting: Arte Johnson on Laugh-In: "But it stinks!"
I'll bear it in mind: But only when I have to deal with you, you turd...
I'm sure it's my fault: But you helped...
You must come for dinner: I should be pretty safe, I can't imagine you'd actually darken my door..
I almost agree: But my reputation couldn't take the blow...
I only have a few minor comments: Frankly, I always use, "Do you have an hour?"
Could we consider some other options: This will require dragging me kicking and screaming...
Chris:
ReplyDelete---My friend, in the time I've known you, I have yet to see ANY evidence of glory-seeking in you.
I find you knowledgeable beyond MY years (and that's a good decade more...lol).
---Yes, we can stumble over our own self-esteem while chasing the humility factor.
(personally, I've had self-esteem issues off and on since little on up - thank God I had good friends, parents and mentors along the way.)
---I agree that was one powerful and revealing confession.
--- and to that "...gifted because he was broken".
Man, that flies true with how God works, that's for sure.
---Always good to add to the prayer list.
---I LOVE Brit sarcasm (I'm trying to make it a science in my life,...HA!)
---Those examples are BRILLIANT!
---So, YOU'RE the social media comedian, eh?
GOOD FOR YOU!
---ROFLMAO...I do admire YOUR takes on those phrases...(no snark AT ALL there).
Very good post (got me to smile...bravo!)
Stay safe (and fun-filled) up there, brother.
No evidence? You aren't looking from the inside- I KNOW how I am. And it needs stamped out.
DeleteAnd if you "admire" my snark, well, we may have to work on YOU, too, lol!
You're much too hard on yourself Chris but good for you and anyone when they see an opportunity to be humble . Those brit lines are too funny!!
ReplyDeleteI thank you for the compliment, but like I said, I live in this head, and I know its BS traits. But one thing we can agree on, The Larry the Cable Guy Law applied to the Brit phrases...
DeleteI've never seen you seeking any glory for yourself. Of course we don't know each other personally, but my opinion is that your own aggrandizement is not on your list of priorities.
ReplyDeleteAs for suicide, most people are social creatures and need friends to talk to. Case in point, when any man has a problem, he tells his friends about it. They'll offer solutions. He'll accept one and try it. If it doesn't work, he'll ask for more ideas. Pastors aren't like this. People act differently around the pastor or minister. They tighten up, they watch their language and are careful not to commit to anything, be it a political opinion, a belief, or a request to serve on some church project somewhere.
I showed up to reseal the church parking lot in the middle of August, mainly because I knew the pastor would have to show (he's the pastor!), and because no one who actually knew what this job would entail would show (no one in their right mind anyway), which meant virtually all the help would be inexperienced. Have I got character or what? :)
What the pastor needs is a church elder or three that he can trust, because you can't trust 'em all, and he needs to start listening. Listening is at least half of a good conversation. Most pastors are authoritarian and don't always listen.
This man who has thoughts of suicide is discouraged. It's likely he's setting unrealistic expectations for himself, fails to clear the hurdle he's set up, and there we have it. Failure. Instead, why doens't he just start every morning by thanking the Lord for His help, and asking the Lord if He has anything he'd like done today?
C U CW.
No, not on my list of priorities, but on the sneaks under the door list for sure...
DeleteI wonder how much friendship/accountibility Gray allowed himself. I'm very glad he had someone to go to for admonishment. Maybe if someone would have pulled him aside before he got "Oprahfied", it might not have come to this. Very good analysis!
This Aussie pretty much agrees with the British interpretations or Chris's just saying
ReplyDeleteWell of course, I'm always right! Oh, wait a minute...
DeleteIt's so odd i Just posted and am studying pastoral stuff and you're posting it as well. Life is weird man. I agree with your posts, pastors have it rough man. They carry the burdens of their whole church and more. They need all the prayers they can get. I'm praying for you as well.
ReplyDeleteI enjoy your posts, glad I'm getting around more.
Be blessed,friend
One lesson I always taught at Sunday School- and the one it stuck best with is now a missionary!- is that if you hear it twice in rapid succession, you better believe God's trying to tell you something! I don't believe in coincidence where faith is concerned.
DeleteI hope it wasn't my comment that upset you! Music is so subjective, yes? You seem like a nice, humble guy to me. Not a glory seeker by any stretch of the imagination.
ReplyDeleteLet me make one thing perfectly clear: You left an honest, and honestly funny, comment, and if I hadn't been in the mood I was, I would have laughed right off the bat. But I was in a "if I like this song/game/story, EVERYBODY must like it" mode. And when I took an honest look at me, God said, "if you can't handle something as trivial as this, what then when it's a Bible study post and you get blowback? How will you react then?" And I realized I was being a big grade-A pasteurized butt. It don't happen often, but when it does, I'm not letting myself off easy. I have too many regrets from things I let myself "get away with", and I want to be done with that. So yes, music is very subjective- I made the mistake once of telling a comment board that I thought a certain song blew chunks and boy did I get blowback! I want this to be a place that anyone can say anything opinion-wise on (Dale Pertchek rule: Stay on topic), and that attitude doesn't forster it.
DeleteWell, there goes my reputation as a "Nice" Canadian, eh? ;) It was not my intention to cause you any mental anguish and I'm sorry (Canadian again!) if it did! :( I tend to say what I think, but try to be humorous and/or diplomatic about it when it's negative. Your Friday posts are always enjoyable, regardless what music you're showcasing! You put a lot of work into them and it's obviously a work of love.
Delete