Time Machine co-ordinates VICXLI62142469

Today, we tumble into April 24th, 1969, and a lot of little things happened:  British Leyland put out their first car since the merger; the first securities from Ginnie Mae hit the market; Iraq tried their first try at scaring Iran (note: it failed); and we arrive to do Time Machine, with not one, but TWO hosts- thanks to Frank Sinatra's "final solution" to the song Honey last week!

"Final solution?  That sounds a bit... grim?"

It would have been worse, but we got the hit man to leave.  So anyway...

BG:  Hit man???

Just a big misunderstanding, right, Dino?

DM:  Well, of course it was!  Frank just likes to... help where he can.

So like I was saying, you guys are the two-headed host for this week...

BG:  "Two headed host?"  That sounds a little...

DM:  Don't say 'grim', son, yer repeating yerself.

Bobby, I was looking into your career and you actually have been a name dropper's dream!  You worked with Roy Orbison...

BG:  Yep, my band worked with him on tour for over three years- wrote a couple of songs together, too, but our publishers got into a debate over which of them would get 100% royalties, instead of splitting it 50/50...

DM:  That's the business we're in, kid.  Money killed a lotta good music.

Then, I find the story of how you got to do Honey...

BG:  Yeah, it was Bob Shane's song, and Bobby Russell wrote it and produced him.  Then I got this call from Larry Henley of the Newbeats to come listen to this song, and everybody told me I got to cut it, and the next thing I knew, it just blew up.

But the thing that makes me curious is the utter lack of personal info about you!  I know you're married to a very lovely lady named Dianne...

DM:  And that's how you'll stay married, son- don't tell nobody nothin'!

BG:  Exactly.  There are things you need to know about, and there are things you don't.

I get that.  Speaking of things to know, I suppose I should let everyone know that my lack of Monday and Tuesday posts doesn't mean I was dead or sick.  I signed up for a prayer vigil and sacrificed my prime blogging time to do it...

DM:  That so?  I'm proud of ya, boy!

In fact, I'm gonna have to cut away here in about 15 minutes to serve today's effort, so I hope you can behave yourselves for a bit...

DM:  Oh, sure, sure... you know me...

Yeah, that's why I'm worried...

DM:  An' you know Bobby here is a goody-two-shoes, so we're good...

BG:  I don't know if I'd put it quite that way, Dean...

DM:  (leaning in to Bobby) C'mon, trying to make him at ease.  I got this handled...

Uh-HUH.  Anyway, maybe we should pause to hit up the lone M10 debut this week.  With a song she said she "couldn't quite find a place for" on her earlier two lps, but thought it fit perfect for what's going on today, here's new stuff from Jana Kramer...





**************************************************

BG:  So what is going on 'today'?"

DM:  Sonny, it's the future!  You don' wanna know, you'll just screw something up along the way!

BG:  But, you know?

DM:  Yeah, an' it's a real mess!

Excuse me, how do YOU know?

DM:  Elvis told me!  Don' worry son, I got a show with the Rat Pack later tonight, I'll fergit it all!

Uh-HUH.  So maybe we should look at the Panel here.  We had a whopping 26 contestants and 82 stations, but as usual we cut it down to 5 finalists.  Just so we can cut it down so these boys don't have to wait on me while I go to my prayer closet, let's just get right to those finalists.  Guys?

BG:  Thank you, and here are the candidates to choose from.  Would you like to go first, Mr Martin?

DM:  Nah, it's yer show, I just got Sinatraed in.

Now, there's a new word for you!  Okay, you guys just read the finalists while I'm gone, and hit the pause button so I can pick it up from there.  Good luck!

(Door closes...)

DM:  Hee hee hee... okay, let's do this, sonny!

BG:  Um, can you call me Bobby?

DM:  Sure, kid!  Now you go ahead and read the finalists while I look around to see what we do next...

BG:  NEXT?  But, we...

DM:  Just do it, boy!  I declare, you're more trouble than Lewis!  More pleasant, mind you...

BG:  But... but... (sigh)  All right.  Here are your choices this week...

Two songs from the Hair soundtrack- Age of Aquarius/Let The Sunshine In by the Fifth Dimension at #1 on the Cashbox chart, and Hair by the Cowsills at #3...

Then it's Mercy and Love (Can Make You Happy) at #66 and on the rise...

Blood Sweat and Tears at #2 with You Made Me So Very Happy...
 And the Isley Brothers with It's Your Thing at #5.  Um, Dean?

DM:  Yeah, coming!  I dunno how he reads these damn notes... er, darn notes!  Here, Tell 'em about this...

BG:  Okay, uh, boy he does write sloppy... These Eyes by the Guess Who, which got two Panel votes, is the week's big mover...

DM:  Yer supposed to say that in capitals...

BG:  Sorry, the BIG MOVER... moving from 83 to 42 for 41 spots.  Better?

DM:  Yeah, but just the first letters, okay?  Here, do this now...

BG:  The UK #1 is Get Back by the Beatles with Billy Preston...

DM:  Okay, now hit that button...

BG:  Are you sure we should...

DM:  JUST push the button...

So this is the crazy covers thing, an' they picked two songs out to compare.  Kid, you get to be Laurie...

BG: Why me?

DM: Cause me an' Chris are both Martins.  Now, the first one is the song Rhythm Of The Rain.  The original is the big hit by the Cascades, the contender is on this week's chart at #99 by my ol' partner's boy Gary an' his Playboys.  'Laurie', whaddya think?

BG:  Well, I liked..

DM:  Can you make yer voice higher?  A little closer to Grace Kelly, but not all the way...

BG: (exaggerated girl voice) Well, I liked the original, it was more upbeat!

DM:  See, there ya go!  Now me, I thought gary did a super job, but it was pretty faithful an' didn't have the storm sound effects...

BG:  Hey, Chris didn't write that..

DM:  Quiet, I'm in character!  The second song is called Happy Heart, an' it has two versions on this week's chart- the big hit by Andy Williams on it's way up at 68, and Petula Clark at 73.  Now I have to recuse myself, because I just looooooooove me some Andy Williams.  How about you, 'Laurie'?

BG:  Well, I've always enjoyed Andy, but Petula is so adoreabl...

DM:  The SONG, son!

BG:  Oh, yes, um, er, 'Andy puts his heart and feelings into it, and Petula is just kinda singing the song, so I'll go with Andy'.

DM:  Nice job, kid.

BG:  Can I talk normal now?

DM:  Please.  So then this 6D thing woulda been about Jerry Butler with Only The Strong Survive at #7, but he never got to it, so Jerry's on his own, I guess.  That leaves us just two more things to do.  Here, Bobby, you read this.

BG:  So, the rest of the M10 is:

Geowulf falls to #9 with Hideaway...
Brooke Annibale climbs to #8 with Under Streetlights...
The big hit of the year, Real Estate and Paper Cup, drops to #7 in its 10th week, pulling into the #5 all-time position...
Caroline Rose is at 6, up one notch with Do You Think We'll Last Forever...
Maddie and Tae move up 3 to #5 with I Don't Need To Know...
Anna Burch falls to #4 with Tell Me What's True...
Black Joe Lewis and the Honeybears move to #3 with Five Dollars...
Tennis moves up to #2 in its 7th week with How To Forgive...
And at number one again this week, post the picture.. huh?

DM:  Hit that button there, kid...

BG:  Oh, I see it...

...Albert Hammond Jr with Set To Attack... hey wait, Al's only three years older than me, and he has a son making hits already?

DM: It's that Timey-Whimey thing, kid.  Now, get up and move, so's I can do the winner...

BG:  Wait, I thought you were just passing the...

DM:  I'll do the thinking! Now here's the final results...

If you voted for Mercy, BS&T, and the Isleys, you got 6%.  Geddouttahere!
If you wanted Hair, you got a decent 18.3%...
But the winner, with 26.8%....

...the Fifth Dimension and Aquarius!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, Bobby, we better scoot before...


HEY, WHAT IS GOING ON HERE???????

DM:  G'wan, kid, make a break for it!  I got a beer I can distract him with!