It's May 22nd, 1973, and today we meet one Anthony Lambdon. He was an English MP- as well as a Defense Under-Secretary- and when his father passed, he was to be Earl of Durham. However, he would have to resign his seat to take the peerage, so he disclaimed it. And yet, he still requested to be known as Lord Lambdon, even though this was against the rules. Also against the rules was this:
There's our hero, fast asleep beside call girl Norma Levy, whose hubby just happened to be around to snap the pic, which then found its way to popular tabloid News Of The World. Today, our little lonely Lord resigns his posts after having to admit that while Ms Levy was the first working girl he'd been PHOTOGRAPHED with, she wasn't exactly his first time at the market. So he left his wife, moved in with another girl (who just happened to be Rachel Ward's mommy), and kept on insisting everyone use the honorific, even if honor wasn't his strong suit.
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And with that fun out of the way, let's move on to the music of Time Machine. Sorry to say but, let's face it, sometimes you just aren't up for doing a bit, and this week I just don't know enough about the members of the Chi-Lites to do them justice- or even damage- so I think I'll let the guys handle the Panel. I'm sure Bellbottom will have something to say about that, but...
HB: Actually, we had received a 'cease and desist this week from the last survivor of the group, Marshall Thompson, so...
That's too bad! I loved his story about getting his first gig by dressing up like the band, joining them at a local soda fountain between sets, and then freezing up when he got hired...
HB: He specifically asked not to mention that...
Fine, just edit the tape to say Eugene Record did that. Nobody believes the stuff we come up with here anyway, so...
HB: I should say not! Especially when you take a legitimate historical figure, change his last name to that of a pair of out-of-style slacks, and try to pass him off...
Out of style? Have you looked in the mirror lately?
Why, the haircut alone...
HB: I was found quite distinguished by the ladies back in the day. Why, I...
EP: Hey, HB, was that dee-stinguished or EX-tinguished?
HB: You listen here, you young noisemaker, I had 11 children- how many did you have?
EP: You mean, that I know about? Besides with, that was the real guy, not you. You are an antiquated, archaic, modified fictional character. Just like Me an' Noodle...
Nardole: That's Nardole, sir. N-A-R-...
EP: Why, Wayne over here would kick Chris's butt if he were real...
WN: Wait, 'If he were real'...
Everybody wait, we've blown 33 lines of type, not counting spaces, without even getting to the music! Nardole, give us the rundown on this week's Panel!
N: 21 contestants from 64 stations, including a reasonably tight six way final...
Elvis, hit the oddities!
EP: Takin' charge, big guy! So we had that pesty little Maureen McGovern- who I think we finally got out of the boat- getting one with her The Morning After, which those nuts in Laurenco Marques had at the top although it wouldn't hit here till mid June...
An' with ELO on the charts with Roll Over Beethoven, it gave us a chuckle that Jeff Lynne's old partner Roy Wood, who left the band after the first album to form Wizzard-, had the number one in the UK with See My Baby Jive- which had a b-side called Bend Over Beethoven! Guess that wasn't a happy divorce!
Wayne, what was the big mover?
WN: Well at first we thought Charlie Rich got it with Behind Closed Doors, with a 24 spot jump, but then we saw we missed George Harrison's Give Me Love, up 26 from 78 to 52.
Bellbottom, cue up the music, maestro!
HB: Sigh, very well. We have one debut on the M10 this week, at #10. A band with 2 #1s to their credit, this is Maybird...
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All right guys, lets have the finalists this week!
EP: On it's way down, way down, now, Little Willie by Sweet at #26...
WN: The #1 this week, Stevie Wonder with You Are The Sunshine Of My Life...
HB: At #3, Dawn featuring Tony Orlando...
EP: Hey, dija here Tony O got hisself kidnapped?
HB: Good heavens? What happened?
Elvis, do NOT tell that dirty joke!
EP: Er, sorry, boss...
HB: Joke, indeed. Anyway, their hit at #3 was Tie A Yellow Ribbon 'Round The Old Oak Tree...
N: The Edgar Winters Group had the instrumental Frankenstein at #2...
EP: An' lastly, McCartney and Wings with My Love at #5!
So, that group had a low of 6 votes and a high of 12, so be careful picking! Moving on...
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Nardole, where's my 6D on War's The Cisco Kid, at #6 without any Panel votes?
N: You didn't do one, sir.
I did too! What the heck?
N: Do you remember writing anything?
Of course I do! It started with... and then... crap, I didn't do one, did I! What a lousy week this has been. Wait, here's... no, that's my new thing of listing the other English speaking charts #1s. Which, btw, had Australia with Tie A Yellow Ribbon, Canada with Cisco Kid, and South Africa had Cat Stevens with Can't Keep It In.
So, Bellbottom, do the thumbs segment!
HB: This week, the Siskel and Ebert of music...
...went back to the original purpose of this segment- to listen to covers of popular songs by not so traditional artists. This week, we started out with 3 Dog Night's hit Shambala- which debuted this week at #66- done by BW Stephenson which also debuted at #95:
Laurie: Sideways. It wasn't horrible, the original was better.
Chris: Down. The intro was nice, the vocal was okay, but he lost me when he sang "SHAM-ba-la" instead of SHAHM-ba-la".
The second song was Clarence Carter doing the Ernie K Doe hit Mother-In-Law. It was charting at #123.
Laurie: Up. Doable... not a fan of the song really.
Chris: Up: Love that little 'heh-heh-heh' Clarence throws in.
Finally, the last on is an original to a song covered much more famously later- Cum On Feel The Noize (they really could have used a good boarding school education!) by England's Slade.
Laurie: Down. There's something off about it.
Chris: Yeah, it kinda lays there next to Quiet Riot's. I'll give it a sideways.
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Elvis, you got the M10...
That's burnt, man! So Brooke Annibale slides down 5 to 9 with Under Streetlights- which is where Lord Lambdon likes to find HIS chicks...
Caroline Rose down 6 to 8 with Do You Think We'll Last Forever? No, hun, I'm guessin' 7 weeks is about it...
I ain't even tryin' to read this in Russkie! Alkonost Where The Winds Live up 10 to 7...
Sugar dumplins Maddie an' Tae down 3 to 6 with I Don't Need To Know...
Jana Kramer up 7 to 5 with Untouchable...
Sassy Sass Jordan up 9 to 4 with High Road Easy...
The Pretenders up 4 to 3 with You Can't Hurt A Fool. That true, Wayne?
WN: Huh? What?
EP: Never mind, amigo. The Stones are in second again this week with Livin' In A Ghost Town, an' that means two weeks at the top fer...
Deer-a... Door iee..., ah shucks, that Angel chick, with Monks Robes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Mercifully, this brings us to the Panel winner. Horace, the envelopes, please...
HB: There are no envelopes...
EP: Geez, ya stick inna mud! Just tear some paper to make it sound like it!
If you took Wings or Sweet, you came in just under 9.4%...
If you chose Stevie Wonder or Dawn, you got 14%...
But yer winnah, with 18.75%...
Edgar Winter Group with Frankenstein!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Honesty: With OT coming up the next few weeks, I'm not making promises on my ability to do EWG or anyone else not already in the repertoire, but hopefully whatever happens when we move to 1974, it will be entertaining!
Did it again mate
ReplyDeleteNo, they did it, I promise it was them!
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