That dreaded "at home with Misty" post

 So it strikes me that I have yet to do an "at home with Misty" post.  Mostly because where Scrappy lent himself to comedy in a Jethro Bodine sort of way, Misty's more like a Rocket Mortgage commercial.  I will try, though, to give you a peek into a typical Chris and Misty night.  First though, I will have to give you some pictures to establish just what I'm talking about.

The chair, the blanket, the unstuffed toy, the green... well, whatever it is.

The doggie

So much of the night, you can find her laying at my feet as I scroll past "I don't wanna wear my mask" memes and have brief bouts of trying to talk sense to "Bernie girls".  But around 7:30-ish, it's treat time.  She gets a Pupperoni, broken into 6 pieces.  Two she shakes hands for; one I hold up a finger and she freezes until I tell her okay; two more are tossed in the air to be caught; and the last one she gently takes from my lips as I 'hold' it.  At this point, if you are a person who considers lip smacking a pet peeve, you prolly don't want to hear her chewing.  Once they're all gone, a few seconds to confirm by nose that they are, indeed, all gone.  Then, it starts.

It starts with a hastily-grabbed mouthful of dog food, which we keep... well, you can see it in the lower left corner of picture #2.  Then she zips up forcefully into exhibit #1, the chair.  This former recliner has been the subject of so many high velocity canine cannonballs that she literally sheared a bolt in two, and now it has to lean against the window to stay upright (a situation Laurie intends to change in the near future).  Then, it becomes a high-speed game of back and forth, with kibble landing from one end to the other (because she is quite possibly the sloppiest eater among all living things I've ever witnessed), pausing ever so slightly to gather the lost kibbles, get another mouthful, and slam into the chair again.  Then it's time for the green 'whatever'.

This toy was once the inners of a blue outer which met its demise fairly early on.  It is tough, rubbery plastic, great for chewing and/or throwing- as well presumably as other female activities, for which I usually call it by a name I can't use here.  After a few rounds of fetch, Misty style- wait, I better explain that, too.  If I tried telling her, drop, it might actually be legit fetch.  I use it, much to her delight, as an excuse for wrestling, hide and seek, bop the doggie, and several other activities between throws.  For her part, she will run past (or leap over) me and land on the couch and act like "I just want to chew on it."  If one waits long enough, she'll 'drop it' on the floor; look at it (or you) like you dropped it, and then bark until you throw it again.

When I'm done playing with that, that's where the blanket comes in.  If I cover myself in it, she goes nuts (more so), attacking me, trying to pull it off of me by any means possible, and once she finds my face, gives me kisses like she hadn't seen me in years.

 

Then we're ready for the real spaz attack.  By this time, I'm ready to go up and get my shower.  This becomes an experience which includes any or all of the following:

 

-Racing up and down the steps as I ascend, barking all the way, doing spins that crash her head into the stairway wall about 50% of the time... 

- Tearing from up on my bed, out the bedroom door, to the very edge of the steps, full speed (or as close to it as she can manage, and she can manage pretty close), several times as I get undressed...

-Making me chase her from bathroom to bedroom, with her in full attack mode.  I go in the bathroom, shut the door, she breaks it open a half-dozen more times.  I've even sprayed Febreeze at her to get her to be done, to little effect.

Once I'm in the shower, though, she goes back to the bedroom and gets her breath back.  Once she hears the water shut off, though, she comes back in and lays down till I'm dressed and ready to go.  If I live through all that, we're pretty good for the rest of the night.

Of course, there are other, rarer things;  I have described her as being a canine Tigger at times, and this is no exaggeration.  She can truly, honestly, jump straight up and spin in mid-air.  She can take a running leap and turn in mid-flight. We have head butting contests that I NEVER win- her head is like a wrecking ball, and it never fazes her.  She'll knock me down while I'm on the floor with her shoulder and then continue in such a way that she ends up upside down with her butt in my face.  Scrappy did skits, she does slapstick.