The return of spam e-mails

 

So here of late, spam hasn't been all that interesting.  My 'resume' apparently is a good match for 'an exciting job in package management'; I've ignored several hundred versions of how Tommy Chong's life changed; and the coincidence of timing between acquiring Miss Noisy curled up at my feet and ads from "Bark-b-gone" made me wonder if a neighbor hadn't clued them in to me.  However, I recently got a missive with a topical spin that caught my eye- and if Firefox/Blogger doesn't trip out again (and I'll tell you what I mean later)- I will share it with you now.

Attention: Esteemed
Beneficiary:

In the course of our General Auditing and Account revision of the last quarter of the financial fiscal year 2020, we discovered that the Bank Accounts belonging to some Benefactors have been changed and their addresses changed for receiving their approved fund.

After the investigations however, it was revealed that there are foreigners who are collaborating with Staffs of our commercial banks to make these changes illegally without the knowledge of the Bonafide Benefactors and one traced to your own change is this Mr. Robert Johnson who said you died of Covid-19 and he has also submitted Affidavit of claim, latter of administration, deed of ownership and bank account which is not in your name to claim your fund.
.

But we wanted to confirm if actually this is true and hence decided to write to your email address. If you are not dead or authorize Mr. Robert Johnson to receive your fund on your behalf by trying to divert your money through the documents he presented.

In this manner, you are required to reconfirm your personal details below to my private email : ( gemefiele550 @ yahoo.com ) to ensure immediate payment within 3 bank working days in line with international best practice..

* Your full name
* Contact address
* Personal Tel or Mobile #: for easy communication
* A certified means of ID.: for identification purpose

Sequel to the above, These details from you will help to assist us reach a conclusion that you are not dead.

Best Regards
Mr. Godwin Emefiele
Executive Governor Central Bank Nigeria
© 2020 CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

 

 

So... Robert Johnson has reported to the fabled Nigerian Central Bank that I died of COVID-019!  But, isn't Robert Johnson my long-lost 'next of kin' who died in a car crash last month, leaving me $10 million USA Dollars he won on the EU Lottery?  It was almost funnier that that paragraph starting with "But we wanted to confirm..." which after 4 read throughs the only thing it confirmed is someone's train of thought jumped the tracks, went off into the ravine, hit the bottom and bounced and slid sideways into a Nevada voting precinct.  Or, how about, "a certified means of ID: for identification purposes", which apparently have a variety of other uses in Nigeria.

But I guess the funniest thing occurred the FIRST time I tried to paste the letter.  I hit paste, and the blogger page that I was typing appeared.  I scratched my head at the sheer WTH-ness of that, and switched to HTML mode to erase it easier.  So I shaded the obnoxious code and hit backspace.  

And it MULTIPLIED.  Every time I tried to erase any of it, it added MORE.

I finally had to trash the whole post.  Try pasting again- this time it worked correctly.  So I trashed that and this time re-wrote my lead-in first.  Closed my eyes, hit 'paste' and... it worked!  So here we are.

I know when not to push my luck...