The M10 top 21

 

Elvis:  Hi, gang!  In case you thought we fergot about 'im, here's Johnny Nash!

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E:  Johnny, I love that song!  I was hopin' to get you to do a Christmas song or two, but...

Johnny:  Yeah, I know... you look for me and all you find is Johnny Mathis!

E:  Well, Mathis was a li'l bigger than you were...

J: Did you bring me on here just to insult me?

E: I din't mean to... but I figured, since you'd've got lost inna crowd last week, you could help me with Chris's top 21 for 2020!

J:  I hear 2020 was a good year for us to miss...

E:  It don' leap into anyone's top 21, that's fer sure!  But this is coming out on New Year's Eve, so hopefully it'll point the way to better days.

J:  So what do you want me to do?

E:  Just hang tight, Chris did a little research project that's got Nash wrote all over it!  Inna mean time, I wanna let all y'all know that Chris used the point system fer the structure, but his list actually varies off of it quite a bit!  So if you see a () next to a song, that's where it woulda pointed out.  So let me lead us off on the M10 top 21 of 2020!

21- Five And Dime, Hazel English (20)

This li'l cutie was a Beauty Contest finalist last week, an' has 2 songs on the list.  Her debut on the chart was #1 for 2 weeks in July an' August.

20- Remembering, America (12)

This hit by a band celebrating their 50th anniversary was a 'grow on ya' hit for Chris, an' topped the list Halloween week.

19- Smile, M.A.G.S. (15)

A recent #1 for the indie dude from Buffalo NY, he split 2 weeks amongst November and December at #1.  Still on the chart this week.

18- Monk's Robes, Deradoorian (18)

This is one of the odder "Gregorian Chant" kinda things to hit this big here.  Angel topped the chart the two weeks around Chris's birthday back in May.

17- Avenue Bliss, Purr (17)

Also still on the chart, this duo held at #2 two weeks outta three recently.

16- In A Van- Saintseneca (14)

This act was #3 twice- four weeks apart- on the way to a 9-week run.

J:  Hey, I'm getting bored!

E:  I'm coming ta you!  I mean, er, just Hold On Tight! Chris got looking into a bit about the biggest song of the year- specifically, when did Cashbox and Billboard ever agree on one!  And that is what Johnny here is gonna tell us about...

J:  Great!!!

E: AFTER we have another song!  Why don't ya take a shot at singing, oh, like, Chances Are...

J:  THAT'S MATHIS!!!

E:  Ooops, sorry!  Well, instead, I think Chris is gonna debut this one this week, let's have on- Ringo Starr and friends!

************************************************

15- Home Again, Brooke Annibale (10)

Last year's Beauty Contest winner also had I Will at #30; this one at #2 for a couple of weeks in July.

 J:  Hey!  I thought I was next!

E:  Get a grip!  I got a lot of songs to hit here!  Now, where was I...

14- Party's Over, Anna Burch (5)

This'n has the distinction of knocking out our top song of the year from #1- fer a week in late March, before it got back up there again.  She also had Tell Me What's True at #39.

13- Can't Find The Time- The Explorer's Club (31)

These boys scored big this summer with their lp To Sing And Be Born Again- in fact, we'll be hearing from it again!  This one spent 2 weeks at #2 in the heat of our 'cover summer' July.

12- Dreamsicle, Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit (43)

This song is either #1 or 2 this very week... Chris reserved the right to move around anyone who had at least 30 points at press time.

11- Set To Attack- Albert Hammond Jr (9)

Lead guitar for the Strokes, it didn't rain on Albert as his hit dominated April, #1 three weeks.

Alright, Johnny, yer up!

J:  Thanks, Elvis!  So the Cashbox charts ran year-end charts from 1956 to 1995, and for 22 of those years, Cashbox and Billboard nominated the same song for #1 fairly often- and then, almost never after!  

The first time they picked the same song was in 1958, when Domenico Modugno's Nel Blu Di Pinta Di Blu (Volare) topped both charts...

E:  Can ya pick up the pace?  It's gonna be 2021 soon...

J: You hush!  I have the microphone here now, and I'm gonna savor it!  It wasn't long until they did it again in 1960, with Percy Faith's Theme To A Summer Place; The Beatles would do it next, and do it twice- in 1964 with I Want To Hold Your Hand, and in 1968 with Hey Jude.  In between, Billboard and Cashbox would BOTH have the same two songs tie for the top in 1966- SSGT Barry Sadler's Ballad of the Green Berets and California Dreamin' by the Mamas and the Papas.  By the way, the only other time this happened, Billboard had the tie- and Cashbox didn't have either one at the top!

Then it switched to the odd numbered years- all of them, from 1969 to 1975! The Archies Sugar Sugar in '69, Three Dog Night's Joy To The World in '71, Dawn and Tie A Yellow Ribbon in '73, and the Captain and Tennille and Love Will Keep Us Together in '75.

E: Don't mention that woman too loud... she about cost me my Christmas bonus last week!

J: After that though, it only happened three more times in 20 years- Prince's When Doves Cry in 1984, Bryan Adams' (Everything I Do) I Do It For You in 1991, and Boys II Men and End Of The Road in 1992.

E:  Allright, get out the way, I gotta get to #2 before Chris gets in here with the new M10 fer the week!

J:  All right, here's the... Hey!  Watch the suit!

10- At A Loss, Matthew Sweet (29)

The defending #1 coming in today, trying for a third week...

9- Any Day Now/Oh Happy Day Medley, Four Seasons (11)

Chris listened to it after being mentioned in a tribute to late 4Ser Tommy DeVito... ended up ruling October, #1 for three weeks, from the 1970 lp Half and Half.  Another one from that disc, The Girl I'll Never Know, took the 29 spot.

8- Didn't Want To Have To Do It, The Explorer's Club (16)

Told Ya they'd be back!  This Loving Spoonful cover was #1 2 weeks in July.

7- Jump Rope Gazers, The Beths (8)

This one reminded Chris of Misty down here (" I  think I loved you the whole time..."), and sat atop the chart 2 weeks in mid August.

6- I Don't Need To Know, Maddie and Tae (6)

The big country hit of the year, they topped things late April and early May for 2 weeks.

Chris, ya ready yet?

Just about, dude! STALL!

(This better get my Christmas bonus back...)

Hey, so let's play another one that may just be a debut!  From a new box set, a previously unreleased track from Elton John...

******************************************

Man, this 'live M10' stuff is for the birds! The 6D is bad enough...

Anyhow...

5- Bad Time, The Jayhawks (7)

A good years for the 'Hawks.  2 charters from the new lp XOXO (Bitter Pill at 26 and This Forgotten Town at 37), and this 2 week (2 weeks apart in June and July) #1 from 1994's Tomorrow The Green Grass.

4- No Going Back, Yuno (3)

Indie Reggae rock, cooked up right in the bedroom, for the dude who was #1 2 weeks in November/December.

3- Smile Now, Cry Later, The Shacks (4)

The M10 power couple were at the top 2 weeks to lead off the cover summer in June.

Hey, okay!  We're ready!

Okay, here's Chris and this week's M10!

10- Here's To The Nights gets the #10 debut slot.

9- Smile drops 2 to 9 for an 8th week on.

8- The Girl On Angel Pavement comes in at #8.

7- The Cactus Blossoms up 3 with Happy Man.

6- At A Loss tumbles from the top after its 2-week run.

5- Alkonost and Petri Lindroos move up 4 with Bird.

4- Pale Waves for a third week with Change- apparently the song's not listening...

3- Molly Parden up 3 with Kitchen Table.

2- Alas, Dreamsicle gets stuck at runner up again.

And the new #1...

...Saintseneca and Ladder To The Sun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, King, close 'er out!

Yeah man, I gotcha...

2- Off My Mind, Hazel English, (2)

The top two were runaways at their spot, and Hazel followed up a 2 week #1 with a 3 out of 5 week #1!

And there's no surprise what's at the top... but instead of that goofy official video, let me play you a live versio...

YOU WILL NOT!

You... you mean, I gotta play...

Yes!  Play it!

But, you've played it twice on Time Machine, and... oh, never mind.  At nuber one for 2020... Real Estate!!!!

Look, man, I know you see that as a metaphor for you and Scrappy... But time moves on...

Yeah.  Yeah it does.  But some things never do... 

But hey, it's almost a new year!  And it's gonna be a good one!

That it will, King.  That it will.  Happy New Year, everyone!

Wednesday Bible Study: The end of all things- Numbers

 

On the surface this is going to be a very dry, boring chapter:  "A bunch of guys come in with a complaint to Moses about women inheriting land.  God says, they are right; The women will have to, in general, follow a certain rule; the women specifically mentioned follow the rule; they all lived happily ever after."  And I struggled, at first, making it say anything to me MORE than that.  But when you open yourself up to God's Word, as I did, He helps you along, and I learned THREE rich lessons from Numbers 36.

The first one I saw early on- God had an interest in keeping Israel in 12 non-mixed tribes.  Why was that?  This where God's command to us to MEDITATE on the Word came in.  As I did, I realized that God had three special numbers he came back to a lot.  Even in my studying, I hit them over and over.  There is 3, and the significance is obvious- 3 is God, Father-Son-Spirit, and we are made in His image, mind-body-spirit.  7 isn't very hard to grasp either. 7 days of creation, the 7 churches of Revelation, the 7 spirits of God, the 7 pillars of Wisdom in Proverbs- 7 is the number of God's interacting with man.

What about 12?  12 tribes, 12 Apostles, and how about that New Heaven that is to come?

Rev 21:12  It had a great, high wall, with twelve gates, and at the gates twelve angels, and on the gates the names of the twelve tribes of the sons of Israel were inscribed--
Rev 21:13  on the east three gates, on the north three gates, on the south three gates, and on the west three gates.
Rev 21:14  And the wall of the city had twelve foundations, and on them were the twelve names of the twelve apostles of the Lamb.

12 represents the STRUCTURE God has built into our universe.  So it was important to keep 12 tribes.

Now, let's thumbnail the structure of the rest of the story.  They were about to enter the Promised land.  They had just taken the second census...

Num 26:63  These were those listed by Moses and Eleazar the priest, who listed the people of Israel in the plains of Moab by the Jordan at Jericho.
Num 26:64  But among these there was not one of those listed by Moses and Aaron the priest, who had listed the people of Israel in the wilderness of Sinai.
Num 26:65  For the LORD had said of them, "They shall die in the wilderness." Not one of them was left, except Caleb the son of Jephunneh and Joshua the son of Nun. 

 

And it told them that all those who had to die in the desert for their sins had done so.  God had begun giving Moses and Joshua instructions on how generally to divide up the land when along came five young girls...

Num 27:1  Then drew near the daughters of Zelophehad the son of Hepher, son of Gilead, son of Machir, son of Manasseh, from the clans of Manasseh the son of Joseph. The names of his daughters were: Mahlah, Noah, Hoglah, Milcah, and Tirzah.
Num 27:2  And they stood before Moses and before Eleazar the priest and before the chiefs and all the congregation, at the entrance of the tent of meeting, saying,
Num 27:3  "Our father died in the wilderness. He was not among the company of those who gathered themselves together against the LORD in the company of Korah, but died for his own sin. And he had no sons.
Num 27:4  Why should the name of our father be taken away from his clan because he had no son? Give to us a possession among our father's brothers."

So basically, don't females get any right of inheritance?  In the wider culture, the answer would have been no; but God was building a new people, and the structure demanded that the tribes stay separate, and they should get an inheritance, to keep the family line alive.  So God said, they are right, Moses enacted the law, and everyone was happy.  This is when I began to realize the second question for this chapter- what was the REAL nature of the problem?

And I didn't come to it easy.  I had been praying God would show me how this applied to me, and I finally got led to a certain deduction:  "To get the "me" that's in it, I have to take the "me" out of it".  In other words, I had to stop hammering "me" into the story, and let the story tell itself.  And maybe you can read the first verses of chapter 36 and get this concept, but I didn't:

Num 36:1  The heads of the fathers' houses of the clan of the people of Gilead the son of Machir, son of Manasseh, from the clans of the people of Joseph, came near and spoke before Moses and before the chiefs, the heads of the fathers' houses of the people of Israel.
Num 36:2  They said, "The LORD commanded my lord to give the land for inheritance by lot to the people of Israel, and my lord was commanded by the LORD to give the inheritance of Zelophehad our brother to his daughters.
Num 36:3  But if they are married to any of the sons of the other tribes of the people of Israel, then their inheritance will be taken from the inheritance of our fathers and added to the inheritance of the tribe into which they marry. So it will be taken away from the lot of our inheritance.
Num 36:4  And when the jubilee of the people of Israel comes, then their inheritance will be added to the inheritance of the tribe into which they marry, and their inheritance will be taken from the inheritance of the tribe of our fathers."

I kept seeing, "Hey, we found a loophole in your earlier judgment", but what I SHOULD have been seeing was,"Hey, we call BS".  Because if God let the girls inherit the land, and they married out-of-tribe, the original tribe would then lose the land- and if it wasn't somehow brought back before the Jubilee year, it was gone for good.  In other words, we were about to see God presented a problem that seemed unsolvable by man.  But God had a plan:

Num 36:5  And Moses commanded the people of Israel according to the word of the LORD, saying, "The tribe of the people of Joseph is right.
Num 36:6  This is what the LORD commands concerning the daughters of Zelophehad, 'Let them marry whom they think best, only they shall marry within the clan of the tribe of their father.
Num 36:7  The inheritance of the people of Israel shall not be transferred from one tribe to another, for every one of the people of Israel shall hold on to the inheritance of the tribe of his fathers.

So the girls- and all future cases like this henceforth- were told they would have to marry inside their clan, and the daughters of Zelophehad obeyed.  That's when I finally asked the question that held the "me" in the story:  If God had this plan from the start, why did he keep it to Himself until they logic-ed themselves into this spot?

The answer is, He WANTED THEM TO ASK THE QUESTION.  Just like with me, He wanted them to come to Him with the problem- He wanted them to PRAY about it!  The whole meaning of this supposedly dry, boring chapter is, this is why you have to pray!  He wants us to come to Him to learn His view, what His priority is on the subject, to consider the whys of His commands!  Just like with me, they had to take the "they" out of the equation and plug in "God" to make it add up.

I was so excited when I got to that part.  God had taken something that looked like dirt and turned it into a diamond.

SMDH...I'm Done!

 This weekend, I posted on FB the following:

As of today, I am scrolling right past any "masks are effective/not effective", "it's a conspiracy", I won/lost the election" and other such time wasting posts. I want to be real life with real people. If you can't do that, s'okay, but I'm out of it. #2021DontRaiseTheStakesOfHate

 

I might as well have wrote it on my white butt.  The next day, one person who is a big offender in this category sent me an invite to the "Joe Biden is not my President" page.  We had an amicable discussion about it, but judging from the fact that today I got a "read and share" about a whole bunch of alleged juicy wikileaks info, I'd say I wasted my time.  The second person who might have looked up at took notice of my post, because we have also had plenty of convos about it, decided to comment on a post I shared about how alleged conservatives are making fools of themselves over the election rigamarole- that is, after he sent me more conspiracy theory videos he knows I'll never watch.  That comment included this...

 
...This is saying that if Biden won by one or ten points, he still won so what does it matter? Truth, truth matters. I, personally, am ready to concede to the truth, however, I want the scoreboard correct. There is no cowardice in that! No matter how bored you are with it all.

 

And here is why I am dropping out of this whole business altogether.   Because:  When I didn't support Obama or that dead guy in East St Louis, I was 'racist.'  When I said I wasn't interested in propagating conspiracy theories, I 'didn't want to support Trump when he defends the constitution'.  And now, when I try to show that all this garbage is divisive and hurtful, and if we are Christians we need to focus on what's important and THIS AIN'T it, well, I'm "just bored with it."

 

What I am is tired of people who want to twist my words because they don't get me.  Or don't want to, because getting me would mean having to acknowledge I have good reasons to not want to be barraged by the garbage.  So here, I am going to put in the most concise language I can, why I am scrolling past and not watching, and hiding posts and whatever.

 

1- Why I have no interest in "Joe Biden is not my president", from Daniel 2:

Dan 2:20  Daniel answered and said: "Blessed be the name of God forever and ever, to whom belong wisdom and might.
Dan 2:21  He changes times and seasons; he removes kings and sets up kings; he gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to those who have understanding...

God knows who He's putting in charge, and why.  The same God that promoted David allowed Hitler.  I voted for Trump, he lost.  End of story, for me.

2- Why I am not watching YouTube videos that promise to show me shocking 'truths':

Isa 8:11  For the LORD spoke thus to me with his strong hand upon me, and warned me not to walk in the way of this people, saying:
Isa 8:12  "Do not call conspiracy all that this people calls conspiracy, and do not fear what they fear, nor be in dread.
Isa 8:13  But the LORD of hosts, him you shall honor as holy. Let him be your fear, and let him be your dread.

3- Why I think all of these obsessive posts about politics from either side is just a distraction from Satan:

Luk 10:38  Now as they traveled along, he entered into a certain village. And a certain woman [named] Martha welcomed him.
Luk 10:39  And [she had] a sister named Mary, who also sat at the feet of Jesus and was listening to his teaching.
Luk 10:40  But Martha was distracted with much preparation, so she approached and said, "Lord, is it not a concern to you that my sister has left me alone to make preparations? Then tell her that she should help me!"
Luk 10:41  But the Lord answered and said to her, "Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things!
Luk 10:42  But few things are necessary, or only one thing, for Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her." 

 

In the honor of this passage, I am resolving to put every day from now on a verse I will meditate on that day, and what God tries to teach me through it, on Facebook on a daily post "The better part."

4- Why I disagree with these politic-minded pastors who are challenging the COVID church shutdowns.  Because God gave us this disease as, in a sense, a gift to remind us of where our focus as a church SHOULD be, and it isn't on politics.  The Cross doesn't require a flag nailed to it.  And because, at least in MY Bible, I am told...

1Pe 2:12  Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation.
1Pe 2:13  Be subject for the Lord's sake to every human institution, whether it be to the emperor as supreme,
1Pe 2:14  or to governors as sent by him to punish those who do evil and to praise those who do good.
1Pe 2:15  For this is the will of God, that by doing good you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people.

This was written during the reign of Nero.  If you can point out where any current governor or whoever you accept as POTUS was anything close to Nero, please, feel free.

I really wanted to post this whole thing on FB, but if I didn't already know the response, I wouldn't have went on the rant.

Christmas (Eve, actually) pics

 

First of several family pics

Handsome young man

Like I said, several

Momma said, "If my mouth is open, do not post it!"  What, you're Charles O Finley now?

Lovely young lady

This is my "ugly sweater" get up- a homely sweater turned inside-out and a bow for added humiliation

One of two photogs today

My haul- currently sampling the bottles, recording in the journal

Pics of son with daughter and daughter's man

Laurie got a roomba and a foot warmer.  I got abv 11% beer.  Don't need the foot warming, not ready to roomba.

Shenan did an awesome job making that and one other for KC

Sweater from Laurie

Grayson hides in the closet as Shenan and KC assemble a big tunnel of something

From me to KC- the God is My Guide compass

And Misty enjoys one of the toys Shenan got her.  Hope you all had a great Christmas!

The Time Machine Christmas Party II

 

(Drum roll...)

Nardole:  And now, your host... Elvis Presley!!!!

Elvis: Thanks Nardole, an' thanks for all the help puttin' this shindig together! An' now, ladies and you bums out there... Here's the Beatles!

The Beatles - All You Need Is Love from Hector Garcia on Vimeo.

E:  Say, that was wunnerful!  Thanks a lot for bein' such good sports and comin' on the show!

Paul:  Always an experience to be here... not always a pleasure, mind you...

E: Uh, yeah... I thought we weren't gonna get into that, huh?

Ringo: Oh, he's just playing with you, mate!  Right, Johnny?

John:  I wish you wouldn't call me that, MISTER Starkey...

E:  Hey, I see the boss comin' out to greet everyone.  Hi, Chris!

J,P,G,R:  'Ello, Chris!

Thanks, everyone, and welcome to the second annual Time Machine Christmas party!  Before our esteemed host moves on with the show, I just have a few words.  We can all agree that 2020 was an awful year, from whatever side of the social spectrum you were on.  But It didn't start this year... it's been building up for a long time.  We've been gradually replacing at least listening to the other guy with hate... trying to explain our thoughts with insults... and if we can all agree that the biggest problem this nation faces is all the division threatening to rip it apart, then we have to agree that we the people, through social media, have been adding to the pot in ever increasing numbers.  So if I can get in one prayer for the coming year, it would be- let's not raise the stakes in the hate pot.  This is a big world, and whether you have one racial, economic, or faith outlook or the other, we all have room to express it without shoving the next man out of the way.  Besides, who listens if all you're doing is pushing? Let's make 2021 the Year We Didn't Raise The Stakes.  Thank you.

John (shaking hands):  That's all I ever meant, mate!

Elvis: (Brushes eyes) Geez guys, you're gonna make me cry!  Which means it's great time for the band to strike one up for me!  A-one anna two...

****************************************************

E:  Chris, buddy, ya REALLY wanna do this?

It'll be fun, trust me!  Just be ready with a bottle of oxygen, okay?

E: All right, boys and girls... here's Chris doin' a slightly warped version of Life Is A Rock... based on...

The #1 acts on Cashbox, Christamases 1944-81...

InkSpots'n'EllaFitz/HarryJamesandOrchestrits/KayKyserLongLongTime/Ballerina VaughnMonroe/DinahShoreinherbows/FrankieLaineMuleTrain/SwingandSwaywithSammyKaye

Life is a rock, but Christmas rolls me... Turn it up louder, so my DJ told me...

EddieHoward/JoniJames/TonyBennett/ChordettessayMrSandmancometome/ErnieFordfromTennessee/ GuyMitchell/Justus,Bill/AlvinwithDavidSeville/Guyagain/andthentheKing/TheTokens Manthoseboyscouldsing

Life is a rock, but Christmas rolls me... at the end of my rainbow lies a golden oldie...

LimboRockin'ChubbyChecker/SingingNun/Beatlesneverfeelingbetter/DC5/I'maBelieverintheMonkees/ BelievetheMonkeesonceagain/MarvinGaye/andPeterPaulandMary/George/andMelanie'stheKey

Life is a rock, but Christmas rolls me... Turn it up louder, so my DJ told me...

BillyPaul/andCharlieRich/AngieBabyHelenReddy/StapleSingersalwaysready/RodneyStewart BrothersGibb/Chicisdancinginthecrib/RuppertHolmesandKennyR/ONJ/nowI'vergonetoofar 

Life is a rock, but Christmas rolls me... at the end of my rainbow lies a golden oldie...

THUMP...

E: Uh, yeah, that was our beloved boss, an' he'll be back after an IV... But in the meanwhile, let's hear from the only act in the bunch that was #1 With a Christmas song!  Hit it, boys!

*****************************************************

E: All right, Nardole, wheel Wayne out here to do the Beauty Contest Intros...

Lawyer Bellbottom:  I most strenuously object!  There is a restraining order from last year...

E:  Don' sweat it, Horace!  See look, I got him duct taped, 'ceptin' his piehole!  He's safe!

"Hey!  How am I supposed to read the name cards?"

E: Jus' quiet down, I'll hold 'em up!  Just read!

Wayne:  Fine.  Here are your semi-finalists, from which Chris will select five finalists, and Misty will pick the winner...

Out of 79 contestants, your semi-finalists...

Karen Phipps

Lani Hall

Marilyn McCoo

Sally Carr

Hazel English

Nancy Sinatra

Sass Jordan

Basia Bulat

Helen Reddy

Priscilla Presley

Elvis:  Hey, Honey!!

...and Anne Helm!

Wayne:  What a fantastic group of ladies!  Chris will have a hard time picking five here!  Say, can I have a drink now?  And maybe a bathroom trip?

E:  Whaddya think we put the Depends in yer dressing room fer?  Nardole, get the man a Bud Light- an' a straw, after ya get him off stage there!

****************************************************

Ringo:  So Chris, on what basis do you pick the five finalists?  Is there a talent show, or...

No, I thought what I would do is take off my glasses and see who looks the best, even blurry!  Maybe you could help me walk over just a bit closer?

R: Certainly.  Watch your step, there's the lad... one more should do it... how about here?

Sure!  I'll take that one, that one... hmmm... that one looks funny...

R:  Well, that's because he's still done up in duct tape... but I'm sure George and Paul appreciate your vote!

Ugg!  Okay, better let me have my glasses before Granny Clampett really does win this thing!  I'll take... I'll take...  Darn this is hard!

R:  Well, the camera is on your face, so...

I MEAN THE CHOICE!  All right here we go!  I want Karen Phipps... Hazel English... Nancy Sinatra... Basia Bulat... and Helen Reddy!

R: All right, then, congratulations to you who moved on!  For those leaving us, we have names and numbers on cards on that table there as you leave, please feel free to help yourselves...

Hey!  That's almost as bad as what got Wayne taped up in the first place!

Elvis:  Uh, sorry boss, just a little gag! (Nardole, get those cards outta there!)  An' now, a little Christmas cheer thanks to ol' John-Boy, here!

John:  Elvis, under this man, you are nearly as insufferable as Richard, there.  Shall we, fellows?

*********************************************

 Well, Boss, time to get Misty to make that final pick and tell us who the TENTH annual Beauty Contest winner is!

Okay, give me a sec, because Misty's really fast when it comes to her treats... one... two....GO!

Darn it, see?  By the time I got the picture snapped, she was on the second treat!

That's a-okay- I got the paper this year!  Here, I had Wayne let loose to give us the winner...

Wayne:  Thanks, King, I was getting a cramp in my arms!  The tenth winner of the Time Machine Beauty contest is....(with thanks to Getty Images...)

Helen Reddy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Congrats to you, Helen!  You are definitely woman!

Thank you, Chris!  And thank you, Misty!

Wayne: What about me?

Elvis:  You??? You got yer arms back!  Now, get offstage where Bellbottom can keep his mitts on you!  An' Boss, me an' Ms Reddy got a big surprise fer you!

Really!  Gee, thanks!  What is it?

Helen:  Come closer, I have a secret for you!

Elvis, shoving:  G'wan, boss, get over there!

Okay, okay!  So... I'm almost afraid to ask... what's the secret?

Helen:  Well, I'm not REALLY Helen Reddy... Actually, it's me... (Pulls off plastic mask)

Toni! Don't you have some mistletoe, cowboy?

ARRRRGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Elvis, you'll PAY for this!

Elvis:  Er, well, that's it, folks!  You go out an' have yourselves a wonderful and blessed Christmas, and come back next week for the M10 top 21!  Because we've all had about as much '20 as we c'n stand!