(Drum roll...)
Nardole: And now, your host... Elvis Presley!!!!
Elvis: Thanks Nardole, an' thanks for all the help puttin' this shindig together! An' now, ladies and you bums out there... Here's the Beatles!
The Beatles - All You Need Is Love from Hector Garcia on Vimeo.
E: Say, that was wunnerful! Thanks a lot for bein' such good sports and comin' on the show!
Paul: Always an experience to be here... not always a pleasure, mind you...
E: Uh, yeah... I thought we weren't gonna get into that, huh?
Ringo: Oh, he's just playing with you, mate! Right, Johnny?
John: I wish you wouldn't call me that, MISTER Starkey...
E: Hey, I see the boss comin' out to greet everyone. Hi, Chris!
J,P,G,R: 'Ello, Chris!
Thanks, everyone, and welcome to the second annual Time Machine Christmas party! Before our esteemed host moves on with the show, I just have a few words. We can all agree that 2020 was an awful year, from whatever side of the social spectrum you were on. But It didn't start this year... it's been building up for a long time. We've been gradually replacing at least listening to the other guy with hate... trying to explain our thoughts with insults... and if we can all agree that the biggest problem this nation faces is all the division threatening to rip it apart, then we have to agree that we the people, through social media, have been adding to the pot in ever increasing numbers. So if I can get in one prayer for the coming year, it would be- let's not raise the stakes in the hate pot. This is a big world, and whether you have one racial, economic, or faith outlook or the other, we all have room to express it without shoving the next man out of the way. Besides, who listens if all you're doing is pushing? Let's make 2021 the Year We Didn't Raise The Stakes. Thank you.
John (shaking hands): That's all I ever meant, mate!
Elvis: (Brushes eyes) Geez guys, you're gonna make me cry! Which means it's great time for the band to strike one up for me! A-one anna two...
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| "Hey! How am I supposed to read the name cards?" |
E: Jus' quiet down, I'll hold 'em up! Just read!
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| Karen Phipps |
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| Lani Hall |
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| Marilyn McCoo |
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| Sally Carr |
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| Hazel English |
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| Nancy Sinatra |
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| Sass Jordan |
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| Basia Bulat |
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| Helen Reddy |
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| Priscilla Presley |
Elvis: Hey, Honey!!
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| ...and Anne Helm! |
Wayne: What a fantastic group of ladies! Chris will have a hard time picking five here! Say, can I have a drink now? And maybe a bathroom trip?
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Well, Boss, time to get Misty to make that final pick and tell us who the TENTH annual Beauty Contest winner is!
Okay, give me a sec, because Misty's really fast when it comes to her treats... one... two....GO!
Darn it, see? By the time I got the picture snapped, she was on the second treat!
That's a-okay- I got the paper this year! Here, I had Wayne let loose to give us the winner...
Wayne: Thanks, King, I was getting a cramp in my arms! The tenth winner of the Time Machine Beauty contest is....(with thanks to Getty Images...)
Helen Reddy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Congrats to you, Helen! You are definitely woman!
Thank you, Chris! And thank you, Misty!
Wayne: What about me?
Elvis: You??? You got yer arms back! Now, get offstage where Bellbottom can keep his mitts on you! An' Boss, me an' Ms Reddy got a big surprise fer you!
Really! Gee, thanks! What is it?
Helen: Come closer, I have a secret for you!
Elvis, shoving: G'wan, boss, get over there!
Okay, okay! So... I'm almost afraid to ask... what's the secret?
Helen: Well, I'm not REALLY Helen Reddy... Actually, it's me... (Pulls off plastic mask)
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| Toni! Don't you have some mistletoe, cowboy? |
ARRRRGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Elvis, you'll PAY for this!
Elvis: Er, well, that's it, folks! You go out an' have yourselves a wonderful and blessed Christmas, and come back next week for the M10 top 21! Because we've all had about as much '20 as we c'n stand!
Follow the bouncing ball and everybody sing: "I saw Granny Clampett kissing Santa Claus..."
ReplyDeleteHi, Chris!
As promised I'm here with bells on. Bet you could hear me coming from a mile down the road. You must have very deep pockets to have hired Elvis, The Beatles and Wayne Newton to host your Time Machine Christmas gig. (I'd be lucky to afford Monti Rock III.)
I love that video of The Beatles doing "All You Need Is Love." The song is in the soundtrack of one of my new favorite movies. I might have told you about it before but, in case I haven't, I highly recommend you watch Across the Universe, the 2007 jukebox musical starring the Beauty Contest worthy Evan Rachel Wood and featuring wall-to-wall Beatles songs. A second film that I highly recommend is Yesterday, a 2019 movie about a young musician who awakens one day to discover that he is the only person in the world who has ever heard of The Beatles. Again, the soundtrack is rich with Beatles classics and, like Across the Universe, watching it is an awesome experience.
I appreciate your paragraph reflecting upon the dreadful year 2020 and what we can all do (or stop doing) to make 2021 better. I totally agree, good buddy, and our ongoing friendship and mutual respect is proof that it can be done. It feels much better to love unconditionally than to spew poisonous hate at people who don't think the way we do.
I also appreciate the Elvis performance of "Blue Christmas." I might have told you this story before, but I get blue every year at this time because my dad collapsed on Christmas Eve 2001 and died Christmas Day. Ironically, his dad, my grandfather, also died Christmas Day.
Wow, Chris! Your creative new version of the 1974 Reunion hit "Life Is A Rock" ROCKS! I love what you did there and it is very informative to see which music acts were topping the charts all those Christmases in a row. I see you are making use of those Cash Box charts. I am on that site every single day doing my Shady's Place research.
Chris, I am very pleased that you posted not one, but two great peace songs written by John Lennon. You're the best!
I'm giddy with anticipation now as I see wonder dog Misty Martin coming down the line of treats and about the pick the wiener of this year's Beauty Contest. Alright - Helen Reddy wins the title this year. I concur, Misty, because Helen was a fine singer, a champion of the Women's Movement, and because she left us too soon three months ago at the age of 78. You really know how to pick a wiener, Misty Martin, and I know you won't mind if I mention my old buddy Scrappy, the capable canine who handled the BC responsibilities so well in years past. He is missed.
Chris, thanks for inviting me to your holiday party. I enjoyed myself. I wish you and Laurie and Misty a wonderful Christmas, good buddy, and a much better year ahead for all of us in 2021. Take care, my friend!
Laurie was somewhat surprised initially that I took Helen for the final five. I had to pinch my lips to not give it away...
DeleteBTW: In a warped way, Toni Tennille = Granny Clampett here, just hornier.
Honestly, trying to find suitable Beatles (not musically as much as video-wise) was a challenge. I was on the edge of despairing giving the assignment to bring them in several months ago for a punishment. But having gone through the post with Laurie this morning, it worked out fabulously, didn't it?
Life Is A Rock = my trying to do something not as dry as mere statistics. I'm glad it seemed to play so well. I basically wrote it on the fly through the charts, and got lucky that ONJ's Physical ( a song I utterly despise) worked out so well as a jumping off point. Thank you for the compliments!
If you told me about your Dad and Grandpa, I forgot. That is so tragic. That you didn't become a "screw Christmas" person speaks volumes on you. I don't know that I wouldn't. (I say this after my son's Christmas get-together, a "ugly sweater affair" for which I selected a homely though not ugly sweater and wired a bow on the front.)
I know of the movies, but as in my dotage I've developed a "I don't have time for this" attitude on movies I don't know by heart, I have not yet seen them.
Elvis, of course, is a full-time employee of Time Machine, Inc., as are Lawyer Bellbottom and Nardole. Wayne's a part-timer when I get really desperate.
Glad you enjoyed yourself- The least I could provide after your own NYE bash a few years back kind of built the subliminal impetus for the two parties (The conscious impetus being when I typed the words two summers ago, "Y'know, we ought to do a 'Christmas with Bill Haley' post.") Have a great Christmas and a wonderful New Year*!
* Mind you, any hope I had for 2021 ended when I saw the meme, "2021- like 2020 but can get drunk legally".