Thanksgiving then and now

So, last night I shared this on Facebook  (that's Tuesday night real time), because of a memory FB thought I wanted to share...

Okay, so FB put up a memory of a post I wrote 4 years ago, about the things Scrappy was thankful for. It made me sad- and so did the comment from my best friend that was on that post- since we lost them both 2 weeks apart.

This morning on WBCL, Kim told a story about being angry with God for losing her Dad way too young to cancer. Finally she had a heart to heart with the Lord, and He asked her, "Did you like him?" Of course she replied, "I loved him! And I miss him. He was a great Dad." And the Lord answered, "He was MY idea."

Everything we loved and lost... everything we still have... everything we will have... it was HIS idea to put them in our lives.

And maybe after all this time... maybe... these tears can be tears of thanksgiving. Scrappy and Bob were great ideas. Laurie and Misty are great ideas. Isaiah and Grayson are great ideas. So are all of you. And somewhere along the line, so am I. Happy Thanksgiving!

 

 

And here, unlike there, I can actually share the link, since here I don't have to worry about the Zook thinking I'm spammy.   It is here.   

I am fighting an extremely stupid computer  tonight, and I don't know if I will ever get my original intent on this page.  But let me try.  When I posted that, I hit all the "tags" in the suggestion box, and would have hit more, but I was afraid I'd lose everything (much like tonight).  It was hard, even in Scrappy's voice, to read the honesty about his situation I packed into that post back then (in case you didn't check the link, that would be 4 years ago today as I type.)  Harder still to read the wise, caring voice in the comments- the voice of a friend who I lost within two weeks of Scrappy's passing.  Part of what he said was this:

---Remember that a JOY shared is twice a joy, while a SORROW shared is half a sorrow.

 

And that was my hope with my FB post last night, Tuesday, whatever.  I need to share, to help, to cheer, and I have struggled doing that.  I find myself struggling with things that should be long over and dead.  And it's keeping me from showing the love and the faith to everyone that I NEED to. Last night, I fought my way back out of the valley and onto the mountain.  Tonight, I said, "Dive! dive!" and went back down again.

I don't want that anymore.

I want to be the person God knows I am, not the one that I keep making myself.  One thing I have learned though- 

All the Devil knows how to do is tell me, "You are" when I'm not and "You do" when I don't.  The rest is all me.  But here's the thing, I have learned from praying through Proverbs that God the Father can be inserted where ever you read "Knowledge", the Spirit where ever you read "Wisdom", and Christ where ever it says Understanding.  And that's what He is.  He understands.  Not just because He is God, but because He was/is man.  I heard a Pastor today: "Where He saw purity, all we saw was a prostitute (Mary Magdalene).  Where he saw the founder of a church, we saw a bumbling fisherman (Peter).  Where we see ourselves, He sees a Child of God."  And 99% of my problem is I don't always see what He sees.  And when I do see it, Satan asks, "But that's not Billy Graham.  That's not your sister-in-law who volunteers at the rescue mission.  That's not" etc, etc.  

Today, I fought this battle again.  I asked, "But what is it I'm supposed to do?"  At that point, my two lady partners need help lifting a roll of fabric into place.  And He told me, "There you go."  Laughing, smiling, helping.  Period.

It's easy to see why this world is so extreme anymore, because Satan uses those extremes.  Oh, you're worthless- unless you tear your clothes, hop on a table, and pretend you're Paul.  Look at that, you misspelled three words just in that one sentence! (True story!)

So let me do this the way Scrappy did, and be thankful for what he had left- and is still leaving:

...Daddy has been so upset he couldn't give me my "best summer ever", but we done okay considering how bad we're both falling apart...

 

Thank you, God, for keeping me in reasonable health, despite all the pills I have to take.  For making me able to do my job- and giving me a job I can be good at, and support my family. 

...Here I am, stuck again!  I'm thankful for a patient Daddy!

Thank you, Jesus, that no matter how many times I fail,You get me unstuck.  I often get upset for the way You teach me Patience, but I'm so rarely thankful for Your patience with me.

...We saw a lot of deer this year!

Lord, you have blessed Misty and I with the gift of Your wonderful nature.  Thank you so very much!

...By summer, it was really hot.  I was really thirsty all the time, and Daddy was so sad this day.  He was wondering how many more walks I had left.  But I'm still here!

And so he was, for another 5 months.  And I am grateful for everyone of them, just like I am for all the moments with Misty.

...Daddy laughs, but I get so mad when my water holes are dry...

I get so mad when my refreshment, my water, seems to dry up.  Thank you, Jesus for reminding me my refreshment is always available- even if the puddles are dry.

So, yeah, I have my problems, but I have a lot to be thankful for... hey, food's here!  See ya later!