Martin World News

 

So we have a collection this week of silly stories (from my POV) and stupid headlines from around the world.  Let's start... oh, here-

Copenhagen Post- Answering our own question

Sometimes, you just have to appreciate the placement of news articles- and here's an example...

Yep, if ya wanna shut down hooliganism, just drug 'em up, eh?  I apologize for the faint font, but a) all people in Denmark are 20/20, b) Ey, Ink is expensive, or c) my computer blows.

 

Christian Post:  I might have a clue

This is a headline:

Pamela Anderson says she wanted to be a nun: ‘I don’t know what happened’

Marrying Tommy Lee probably was a detriment to that career choice...

 

BBC: "Did I do that..."

So this was an "iconic sculpture" a glass dog that looks like a balloon dog, worth $42,000, by Jeff Koons...

   ...and this is said sculpture now, after an older female art collector bumped its podium...

Remind me to do my arts and crafts in, say, iron...

The Moscow Times: Can't beat the price

Here's the headline... 

To Stay or to Leave? How 9 Major Western Brands in Russia Responded to the Ukraine War 

Within said story, I had to laugh at Nissan...

Nissan handed over its business to state-owned entity NAMI for just 1 euro ($1.08) and the deal gives Nissan the right to buy back the business within six years. “We have found the best possible solution to support our people,” Nissan head Makoto Uchida said in a statement at the time.

 I wonder if that 1 Euro price is the buyback price?

 

Japan Times: A little obvious, here...

This is a headline only chuckle...

Is the Chinese balloon threat overblown?

 

Pravda: I couldn't have read that right...

Another headline only, but I can only explain it as another glittering example of Russian alternate realities...

A fair question to Putin: Why does Russia support the Kyiv regime?

About as dumb as Republicans not wanting to support Kyiv because Hunter Biden did...

More Copenhagen Post: I smell something off...

This is both the headline AND the story...

Cow about that! Danish researchers find new key to greener agriculture

You might think this story is... well, manure.  But the truth is, instead of joining the climate changers in just whining about it and wanting to remove my burger from my hand, they are working on a cattle-feed additive that can cut the methane in cow farts by up to 30%!  If it works, it will also be given to elevator riders and Wal-Mart customers.  Misty's already ordered a case for me...

The Canberra Times:  Wait, how MUCH more?

The headline...

Smithy's beer recalled over alcohol spike

 The beer, brewed in Victoria, is listed at 4.3 per cent alcohol, meaning each 330 millilitre bottle would typically contain around 1 standard drink.

 They never said HOW much more alcohol than advertised was in the lot, but as it would need to go up 16% to match Bud Light, I really don't see the poi... oh, wait, here's the point...

Smithy's dry lager may cause illness or injury if consumer, the food safety hazard recall said. 

 

"If CONSUMER"? So, folks, don't let your Smithy's Dry Lager consume YOU, and you should be all right.

Finally, let's clean things up a bit...

Lawn Starter has put together a study that purports to give us the 'dirtiest cities in the USA'.  Rather than bore you with the whole thing, let's just look at the leaders in their categories...

Pollution: San Bernardino, California

Living conditions: New York, New York

Infrastructure: Murfreesboro, Tennessee

Consumer Satisfaction: Again, San Bernie.

Overall: Houston, Texas.

Sorry folks, no Fort Wayne in their lists.