The great river trip

 Okay, yesterday we experienced what we mistakenly thought would be a leisurely 3 hour float down the Pigeon River at scenic Mongo, IN.  But first, doggie walk...

7 AM, a few puffy clouds...

That event we talked about seems to be happening...

From the ad signs, I guessed (correctly) that it was what I called Soccermageddon '24

More "Jets doing donuts"

Look at 'em coming!

...and still they come...

Under the log, little Blue Heron was the only sign of life at the Swamp

Sunrise at the ravine

And, Mr Owl again!

Then came 930AM, and the one hour drive to scenic Mongo...

Which was a madhouse (not truly shown here), with my attempts to figure out where to park being part of that mayhem...

While we found a shady spot, the rest of our crew parked in front of "the Addams Family House"

L-R: Daughter Shenan, Laurie, Jessica's sister Tori and hubby Mack, Jessica and Birthday boy KC, my son

And here's Shenan's bf Lloyd, without whom we might still be on that river...

We got a big laugh out of this story.  Their hands marked K for kayaks, but so we might get around "easier", Laurie and I were in a canoe.  Put me and KC's hands together, you get his name.  Which moments before, we were jokingly demand he spell for the tour people.

So we boarded a bus that might well have been the same one I took to kindergarten from the looks of it.

What followed was a white-knuckle ride to the drop point, from which we would paddle back, theoretically.

And here we begin!  

So given the choice, and being told that the back person steers, Laurie opted to be the front.  Thing is, neither of us knew just what we were doing.  And when I began to get a grasp on it, I learned that our damnable boat (Which I cursed in every way imaginable, mainly variations on "whore") took five times the effort to keep it from veering right as veering left.

Hence, we hit many logs...

....and spent a LOT of time going backwards

There were as many sandbars to take a break on as there were obstacles to run aground on make it through.

TBH, I was exhausted by the first one we stopped at.  Laurie was wilting in the heat and getting frustrated with the obstacles, which was more because she was out of her comfort zone than any actual problems.  Additionally, pee breaks were au natural,  the canoe seats were a challenge to say the least.  I mainly sat on the floor and used the seat for a backrest.

At a certain point, my camera got mad at getting wet, and told me, "Please turn the camera off and try again".  Laurie was taking the brunt of low hanging branches to the head.

The scenery was beautiful, though.  I really had a blast for most of it...

KC and Shenan splashing each other.  He claims she capsized him once.

Heat wasn't so bad for me in the shade, what with my shoes, socks, and butt totally soaked.  Laurie survived by repeatedly dunking her hat in the water.

At another stop, Shenan had little minnows surround her hand.  Mack said if Lloyd caught one, he'd eat it- he did catch one, but escaped before Mack could open wide.  Moments later, a big black water snake came over to where Shenan was with her hand in the water.

By this point, the kids saw the old folks were scuffling, so KC started towing us with a rope we brought along

Here was where Laurie about lost it.  She was afraid the only way through was UNDER the tree.  It wasn't, as it turns out, but yeah, we wouldn't have made it, at least with her in the boat.  Around this point, I heard some guy yell, "I paid for floating, not hiking", or along those lines.

There were several points by now that Kc, Lloyd (mainly Lloyd) and others had to help others over a few really shallow spots.

As you can see, towing really didn't make steering easier.  If it veered left, I could usually correct; if to the right, 90% of the time I had to push off the bottom, which would in turn crash the front end into whatever I was trying to avoid.  Laurie probably hasn't liked me less in some time...

Around about this time, we started asking other boaters how far it was yet. The next person who says, "Oh, it's just around this corner", I will slap.  And the "Big tree" that we "can't miss" after which we have a right hand turn and we're there, no one ever saw it.

Along about this time, Lloyd untied us from KC and took up the tow.  KC didn't notice till a quarter mile or so later, when some other boater said, "Hey, you lost your cargo!"

Seemed like every time I paused to take a pic, we were hitting some further obstacle before I could return it to my pocket.

MASSIVE overturned tree

The four horsemen of the water apocalypse

It was roughly 430 PM, (we left land at around noon) we broke out of the woods and into open water.  We were totally wiped; every time I tried to help Lloyd paddle, we would veer right, catch up to him sideways, and make matters worse- even if I did one stroke per side.  Outside of watching a ground hog swim across the river, the scenery became water weeds, grassy fields, and lily pads, and about 20 "Around the next corners".  We finally beached back in Mongo about 5:30, and after almost needing cranes to get out of the boats, we regained shore- followed by about five minutes of re-learning how to walk.

Then one last cherry on the cake- just as I was going to back out of my parking spot, some dude in a massive pickup truck parked RIGHT behind me, and some girls had to get him to move foreward (just enough, mind you, to get backed out without hitting a tree.  The AC in the car gave my wet butt and feet a chill enough that I had to put on (after dry clothes) a hoodie for a couple hours to get warm.  And once home, Laurie ordered 2 burgers my way and 2 her way from Five Guys, and we got 4 her way.

Despite all disasters, I would love to do it all again- in a kayak, no canoe!- but not for a year.  Maybe two.  Laurie has decided cruises like this are best done on open water on a pontoon.  Or a paddleboat where she decides when the trip is over.