What??? I can't hear you!

 My speakers on the computer have died, so no M10 this week.  I'm working the OT to pay for new ones, but losing the time I need to get them!  HOWever, I do have something amusing up my sleeve... at least I think I do... 

The 2024 IGnoble awards, given every year for, well, let's be nice and say "questionable research", have been awarded.  I thought how about we combine a little music (which I can't hear) and the awards.  Our target year is 1966, so we will intersperse the biggest moving bullets with the farthest falling researchers.  Ready?

Music #s 10 and 9:  We had a three way tie for 9th at a ten- notch move, so the 2 lowest go first.  Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass and Flamingo up 10 to 38, and Frank Sinatra's Summer Wind to 36.

Award: (A blast from the past)

PEACE PRIZE [USA]

B.F. Skinner, for experiments to see the feasibility of housing live pigeons inside missiles to guide the flight paths of the missiles.  So was he planning on teaching them to use steering wheels?

Music #8:  The other ten spot mover, Neil Diamond and Cherry Cherry to 23.

Award: (But what if you're bald?)

ANATOMY  PRIZE [FRANCE, CHILE]

Marjolaine Willems, Quentin Hennocq, Sara Tunon de Lara, Nicolas Kogane, Vincent Fleury, Romy Rayssiguier, Juan José Cortés Santander, Roberto Requena, Julien Stirnemann, and Roman Hossein Khonsari, for studying whether the hair on the heads of most people in the northern hemisphere swirls in the same direction (clockwise or counter-clockwise?) as hair on the heads of most people in the southern hemisphere.  Before or after getting a swirly?

Music #7:  Oh, fudge, I missed the Surfaris and Wipe Out, also a ten spotter at #19.  This may cause the winner to be # 1A.

Award:  (Make you think it's ALL in your head)

MEDICINE PRIZE [SWITZERLAND, GERMANY, BELGIUM]

Lieven A. Schenk, Tahmine Fadai, and Christian Büchel, for demonstrating that fake medicine that causes painful side-effects can be more effective than fake medicine that does not cause painful side-effects.  I guess this means fake medicine that does SOMETHING is better than fake medicine that does nothing.  Instead of pain, maybe try CBD gummies?

Music possibly #6:  Oh, I see- I had Cherry Cherry written down as an 11.  No worries!  there are 2 12-notch movers, and the lower goes to- the Temptations with Beauty Is Only Skin Deep, at # 8.

Award: ( I suppose saying there's something fishy about this is too obvious)

PHYSICS PRIZE [USA]

James C. Liao, for demonstrating and explaining the swimming abilities of a dead trout.  I did read a bit about this.  Basic premise was, "does the fish swim the water, or does the water swim the fish?"  He wanted to compare live and dead trout- one swimming, one being pulled along.  While the living fish did better (surprise), the dead fish moved an awful lot like the live one, which somewhat proved his premise.  The most shocking thing about this story is that I spent this much time defending a scientist dragging a dead fish through the water.

Music #5:  The other 12 spot move was the Association (they sure like getting involved in these things) and Cherish, at #4.

Award: (But why would you WANT to?)

PHYSIOLOGY PRIZE [JAPAN, USA]

Ryo Okabe, Toyofumi F. Chen-Yoshikawa, Yosuke Yoneyama, Yuhei Yokoyama, Satona Tanaka, Akihiko Yoshizawa, Wendy L. Thompson, Gokul Kannan, Eiji Kobayashi, Hiroshi Date, and Takanori Takebe, for discovering that many mammals are capable of breathing through their anus.  Eleven of them, for sure....  I mean, this is not so much breathing as "absorbing" in emergency situations, and pigs, mice, and other rodents.  Can you imagine being a pig and having to... Dear Lord, let's move on.

Music #4: Monkees, Last Train To Clarksville.  The Monkees would HAVE to follow that last award... up 13 to #39.

Award: (Never when you need one...)

PROBABILITY PRIZE [THE NETHERLANDS, SWITZERLAND, BELGIUM, FRANCE, GERMANY, HUNGARY, CZECH REPUBLIC]

František Bartoš, Eric-Jan Wagenmakers, Alexandra Sarafoglou, Henrik Godmann, and many colleagues, for showing, both in theory and by 350,757 experiments, that when you flip a coin, it tends to land on the same side as it started.  Of course, I looked for a coin immediately upon reading this.  But, I'm in my lounge around the house shorts, and no coins.  Maybe later.

Music # 3: Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons covering Cole Porter on I've Got You Under My Skin, at #29, up 14 spots.

Award: (But what were they served?)

CHEMISTRY PRIZE [THE NETHERLANDS, FRANCE]

Tess Heeremans, Antoine Deblais, Daniel Bonn, and Sander Woutersen, for using chromatography to separate drunk and sober worms.  Again, I read a little on this one.  I believe they were made to compete against each other in a maze.  The study group finished dead drunk and dead last.

Music #2:  96 Tears, ? and the Mysterians.  Never been a huge favorite of mine, but moves 15 to 26.

Award:  (Darn that Methuselah, anyway!)

DEMOGRAPHY PRIZE [AUSTRALIA, UK]

Saul Justin Newman, for detective work to discover that many of the people famous for having the longest lives lived in places that had lousy birth-and-death recordkeeping. So I am curious here.  Looking at the lists of the 10 oldest men and ten oldest women, are we referring to the contestants from the more third world-y places ( Peru, Venezuela, Dominican Republic, Jamaica, and Puerto Rico got one each), or the one who hit the list the most times ( Japan with 5, USA with 4, France and Spain 2)?

Music#1: The biggest mover in this week's top 40 of 1966:  

...the Four Tops with Reach Out I'll Be There, leaping 17 spots to #28!

And the final award (and possibly the most poorly designed...)

BIOLOGY PRIZE [USA]

Fordyce Ely and William E. Petersen, for exploding a paper bag next to a cat that’s standing on the back of a cow, to explore how and when cows spew their milk.

Okay, to explain THIS one, let me take you to IFLScience (dot) com, where I found the original story...

More inexplicable was a project that attempted to find out if scaring cows using loud noises produced by bursting paper bags caused them to produce more milk from one side of their udders than the other. The weirdness was maximized by initially placing a cat on top of the cow, although this was later abandoned as “unnecessary”. 

Okay, I have to ask:

-Why does a cat make a scary event more scary?

-Why would loud noises change where the milk comes out?

- Which lunatic even came up with this theory????

I hope you have enjoyed this little bit of fun as much as I did.  Sure beats non-stop politics!