Martin World News

Well, I hit one story after work Monday that really kinda forced the issue on whether to post Tuesday.  So let me go in reverse order and save the best for last.

ITEM:  I can see HOW this would happen, but I am not entirely sure of the WHY you'd let it happen...

A Ukrainian man has been rescued after he fell asleep on an inflatable toy and drifted out into the Black Sea, it's reported.
Russian coastguards near Crimea responded to a call on 5 August and found the "distressed" 19-year-old security guard Mykhaylo Doroshenko on an inflatable trampoline. He had been stranded on the contraption without food or water for almost three days, Russia's Ren TV reports.
He had fallen asleep on the inflatable on a beach in Kherson Region in southern Ukraine and was swept out to sea shortly afterwards, travelling some 35 nautical miles (40 miles; 64 km).

So this inflatable "toy", as they call it on the BBC, was basically a large air filled raft- so large, in fact, that he was never in any danger of falling off.  I'm suspecting Stolichnaya may have had a hand in the tale.  Especially after he had a couple of days to sober up...


 Mr Doroshenko told Ren TV "on the second day, when I couldn't see the shore, I didn't think it was funny any more. I started crying, I was in shock, and tried to cover myself from the sun as best I could." 

It took two days to cease being funny?  With no food or water?  Stupid AND tough.  At least until...

Bad thing for this dude, whom I'm sure we'd all want as a security guard, is he ended up being taken to shore in CRIMEA- which means he's in Russian hands now, and that makes his return home a little problematic.

******************************************

ITEM: On a similar subject, again we turn to the topics of Russia, cannon fire, and security guards...


A "stolen" 10m-long (35ft) Soviet-era anti-aircraft missile has exploded at a recycling centre in eastern Russia, killing two and injuring one.
Russian media were alerted to the explosion of the large-scale missile in the city of Chita after a YouTube user uploaded a car dashcam video showing the moment of the blast.
The missile was an S-200 Angara, known as the SA-5 "Gammon" in Nato countries. They have been in service since the 1960s, but are nowadays superseded by the S-300 and S-400 surface-to-air models.
It is unknown how the missile came to be at a recycling plant. Local news website by24.org says that the seven tonne missile "had been stolen" from a military base by persons unknown and taken to the facility in exchange for cash. It had likely exploded while recycling workers were trying to dismantle it.


We go to the film...





So many questions:  1- STOLE a 7-TON missile...  2- From a MILITARY BASE... 3- Exploded while DISMANTLING...  and we're seriously worried about these guys messing with our election?

Hey!  You got that Doroshenko guy?  We're ready to strap him on... uh, got any bungee cords?

*******************************************


ITEM: This next tale wouldn't go with the flow as well as our last one, but like I said, I'm saving it for last.  So, with a little change of pace, we go to China...


A Chinese restaurant has come under fire for offering discounts to women depending on their bra size, it's reported.
According to the Qianjiang Evening Post, local people complained to the council after seeing posters advertising discounts for the Trendy Shrimp restaurant at a mall in Hangzhou, the main city of coastal Zhejiang province.
The company's adverts showed a line-up of cartoon women in their underwear with the slogan "The whole city is looking for BREASTS". It listed discounts for women depending on their cup size, with greater offers available to women with bigger busts.

First thought:  I guess we are learning Chinese for breasts is XIONG.  "Man, she had big XIONGS".  Could be the new catch phrase.


Second, smooth marketing move.

The posters first appeared on 1 August and have since been removed, but Trendy Shrimp general manager Lan Shenggang defended their sales strategy. "Once the promotion started, customer numbers rose by about 20%," he said, adding that "some of the girls we met were very proud - they had nothing to hide".


Makes one wonder if the Hooters in Fort Wayne might have survived if they would have passed t-shirts and short-shorts out to female customers.

Okay, maybe not....

****************************************


And now, the grand finale...


ITEM:  Life imitating (commercial) art, MWN edition...

A Florida couple transporting a propane barbecue grill inside their SUV was injured Sunday after a woman lit a cigarette, sparking an explosion.

The grill was turned on and the propane tank was open in the back of the red Kia Sorento when the couple left a barbecue at the Central Florida Fairgrounds, Orlando police Lt. Cindy Lane told the Orlando Sentinel.






Except this was a REAL thing...

...and reminiscent of this MWN post from June which featured the 153 petroleum martyrs in Pakistan who were collecting gas from an overturned truck when- yep- someone lit a cigarette, and everything went sky high.  Now, to me it looks like the windows in this car were up, so I hafta ask... PROPANE FUMES?  The stuff stinks for a reason.  I can tell when they change the tank on the forklift at work half a plant away.  I'm really curious how you DON'T smell it in a closed car.

"Herbert, I TOLD you to lay off those damn onions on your burgers!  Good God, now I'll have to light up a smoke just to clear the air!"

"But Wanda, dear, I didn't..."

To be continued in the next life...


Actually, though the couple survived with some burns.  Will they be any wiser?  I don't know.  But I bet the gang back home gets a BANG out of THEIR vacation pics...