This week we had our 20th Super Bowl in our home fantasy football league. The contestants included my #3 of 4 team, the B2's, versus Laurie's #3 of 4 teams, the Greenwoods. (I should explain. Currently, Laurie, KC, and I run 4 teams each for a 12- team league.) The B2's were named after my first dwarf hamster way back in 1997- Butthead's Wheel Runners. Butthead passed away during season two, and his successor was named B2. Except for a single year of the 20, it has been the B2s ever since. The Greenwoods were an "original" team- one of the ten that KC, Shenan, and I named back in 1997 when the kids were 8 and 4 respectively. They were on hiatus from 2002-2010, but Laurie adopted them when Shenan lost interest in showing up for draft day.
The B2s captured the last playoff spot in the last week with a 6-6 mark, while the Greenwoods rolled to a division title- their third in four years- at 9-3. The B2s had to take out KC's Buzz Lightyears 30-23, and then the division champs, Laurie's Elks, 54-46 to get to the big game, their 5th time to do so and second time in a row (they lost SB XIX). The Greenwoods had the shorter trip, knocking off my KCAs 30-25 to make their third SB in four years (they lost to the Elks in 2013 AND 2014!).
The game did not go well on the Greenwood side. They lost one receiver (Michael Floyd) to a DUI the week before, another (Tory Smith) didn't play, and Aaron Rodgers couldn't throw a TD pass against the frickin' Bears. Still, they would have won 14-9...
...except Devonta Freeman scored THREE touchdowns for the B2s which gave them a 27-14 win.
That total score of 41 is easily the lowest in the 20-year history of our Super Bowl- in fact, the B2's topped it in both their SB wins and just missed it in losing last year! And since we started dividing the teams by "owners" in 2002, the win puts me ahead with 6 Super Bowls (2 in a row) to Laurie's 5, Shenan's 3, and KC's... er, one.
In honor of the hamster contribution to the champs, I thought it would be nice to feature a hamster in the cup picture. However, I don't have a readily available picture around of the first two. So I used a readily available picture of my LAST hamster, the late great Cassie, for the Championship photograph...
Owner Chris, late mascot Cassie, and the Super Bowl trophy
Next week is our All-Star Game, and then we close the Fantasy book on 2016, and start the third decade of NHFFL football!
So the local news site had "7 last minute gifts" on their website and I knew I was likely to get at least a chuckle. You know these last minute suggestions- fruits, nuts, chocolate (always welcome) and the ubiquitous "_ of the Month Clubs". Now let me say this post should be subtitled, "but their heart was in the right place," but really I'd have to say that if George Soros has a couple of bucks burning a hole in his pockets, he can skip these for me:
GIFT #1: The Sock Of The Month Club. No lie, this was their lead-off gift. Nothing in this world might be as thoughtful, practical, AND disappointing as socks for Christmas. And this has the potential to remind you of your crappy Christmas haul all year long.
GIFT # 2: Amazon Prime. Once again, very thoughtful if you haven't already been a victim of the whole "here's a great shipping deal, and we won't bother to tell you that it signs you up to AP until we start automatically taking the fee from your account" like we have. Put Laurie in the red and she wasn't even the one who did the original ordering- nor was it HER card that the order was placed on. But it was on our shared account, so... thanks but no thanks.
So after those two, I decided it might be worth a look to see what other ill-advised gift ideas were floating around out there. And here are a few of them. First, from NyMag.com...
GIFT # 3: The Sky Umbrella.
Apparently inspired by a painting by Rene Magritte, this wonderful gift will have you looking into a clear blue sky in any weather, just as you step ankle-deep into that puddle you'd have missed if you were paying attention.
GIFT #4: A Peelable stuffed banana.
Yes, you too can avoid the danger of eating wax fruit from the centerpiece this holiday season by consuming plush fruit instead!
GIFT # 5: For the cheap romantic, NyMag.com suggested a boyfriend in a pinch could order a $12 Lego rose. Yep, that and a car air freshener...
GIFT #6, from Thepennyhoarder.com, a deck of cards.
"It's not just a deck of cards, it's endless possibilities and hours of family fun." Yeah, and while you're telling yourself that, the recipient will be making bets as to which gas station on the way you stopped at.
GIFT #7, from MakeUseOf.com- "Time with you".
"YES! Everyone will appreciate ME..."
Of course, value of the gift will depend on the "you" that is gifted...
I also noticed that Yahoo.com had an article on last minute gifts, but I figured that it prolly involved a lot of this:
Now truthfully, all of these COULD be stretched into a reasonable gift, so I went looking for bad gifts, and hit an article on BoredPanda that gave some of the most disastrous gift ideas of all time. To wit:
- a stepdad's mom who spoke no good Ingles gifted a medical student with a tee that said, " I'm not a gynecologist, but I'll take a look anyway." Needless to say, the translation was funnier than the shirt.
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- an aunt who gave a pop out wooden block set, ages 2-4- to a 14 year old.
-Another aunt who gave those damnable socks to Grandma- who had had both legs amputated years before.
-Yet another aunt who gave a sister a bag of Kroger shredded cheese.
Not sure here if this is a bad reflection on gifts from aunts, or BoredPanda just doesn't like aunts.
A brief little bit based on two slightly out of context verses from one woman's prayer.
The context is I Samuel and the story of Samuel's birth. Well, one context is. The other context is the daily (it seems) battle on the fields of politics. I have been more outspoken this year, and will continue to be. I think it is a shame that we can't try to make the best of things seemingly. Not saying who is protesting, sabotaging, what have you, but at a certain point it is time to play the cards you've been dealt. And I will continue to expose lies, low-information pseudo-facts, and am ready and willing to take the new administration to task when needed. That is neither here nor there.
However, the attitude with which I prosecute this is under surveillance. I need to weigh my words, understanding that this blog is a place to vent, but that I also have a responsibility to He who saved me. And on that subject, two lines from my Bible in that prayer I mentioned stood out. Now I have yet to find an online translation that matches mine, which is "the New King James Version New Open Bible". You might have this verse different, but the poetry and meaning of this translation makes this extra special and appropriate:
1 And Hannah prayed and said, My heart rejoices in the LORD, My horn is exalted in the LORD, I smile at my enemies, Because of Your salvation.
Get it? This is the "Big Picture" attitude I've been talking about for a long time now. It doesn't matter how wrong or right, how evil or good, how polite or insulting, the other guy is- I need to have the smiling attitude. Because it doesn't matter if he wins (or thinks he does) the debate (or what passes for it), he CAN'T TAKE MY SALVATION. Even if the fool (or not) gets the world his way, it doesn't matter because of what is awaiting me in the next! And as I argue the point (or choose to scroll on by), I need to kick that attitude into focus.
But there is another part of it just a bit further on- a part that Hannah was directing at her enemies, but being my own worst enemy, I can direct at myself:
3 Talk no more so very proudly; Let no arrogance come from your mouth, For the LORD is the God of Knowledge, And by Him actions are weighed.
It's not just what you say, but the attitude with which it is said. I bailed on the "conversation" I alluded to Wednesday when it became apparent that Mr. Leon was not about to listen, read what I was saying and intelligently respond to it, or make any response that was worth the time of a thinking human being. At this point in the past, I would have unleashed the creativity of my wrath- instead, I unsubscribed from the feed and moved on with life. Not because I had "won" anything, but because he had established himself as the proverbial swine to not throw your pearls before, and I was really, really ready to jump in after him. I'm sure he jumped in with yet more of the same judgments of me that had marked the whole thread to that point. Good on him. But there is only one judgment of me that counts, and that judgment doesn't come from some blog writer.
And thankfully, it isn't MY judgment either, as I fall short each step of the way.
Today we escape the cold to go to December 16, 1962- an escape that was still pretty cold for one John Paul Scott. An inmate of Alcatraz, he became the first to escape and actually be confirmed making it to the mainland (three others had escaped and disappeared in the summer but were listed as "probably drowned"), having washed ashore near the Golden Gate and being discovered unconscious on the shore by 4 teenagers. The convicted bank robber from Kentucky was sent right back to Alcatraz after recovering from hypothermia and exhaustion.
Like to see him try that yesterday as I type, as my car sits immobile outside, it's old battery saying "nein" to the below zero temps here in the frozen tundra of Fort Wayne. Anyway, we have a VERY special TM today, with a feature on the Christmas songs of this week in '62- including the "unknown" feature; the first 10 out of the year-ending M50; George Harrison kicking off our 6D; and an M10 just as frozen as my car! Climb in, flick on the heated seats, and let's dive in!
As we have a frozen M10, let me get to that first. One through 7, as well as #9, stayed in place- with Strange Boy at the top, followed by I Follow You, Mary, Strange Feeling, This Strange Effect, Come And Go, and Fighting For Love. NRBQ's Over Your Head leapfrogs The Japanese House and Leon into #8, and debuting at ten is a young man with a very long name- Justin Peter Kinkel-Schuster:
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Hello, this is President Gibb, opening the song election process for this week. We had 35 stations give us a formidable 19 candidates to succeed my brothers and I. Mr. Martin, would you be so kind...
Certainly, Mr Gibb. The list is as follows:
The Four Seasons and Big Girls Don't Cry, Cashbox's #5 nationally;
The Excellents with Coney Island Baby, #84;
Dionne Warwick with Don't Make Me Over, #69;
Ned Miller's From A Jack To A King, #92;
Steve Lawrence's Go Away Little Girl, #13;
Helen Shapiro with I Don't Care, which was the b-side of the current UK #8, Little Miss Lonely;
Chubby Checker and Limbo Rock, the national runner up;
Frank Ifield's Lovesick Blues, #116;
Lou Monte's Pepino The Italian Mouse, #31;
Dick Dale and the Dell Tones with Peppermint Man, #122;
Elvis Presley and Return To Sender, the current #1;
Esther Phillips and Release Me, #8;
The Cascades' Rhythm Of The Rain, which wouldn't even chart nationally until next March, thanks to KXFM San Bernardino for jumping the gun;
The Beach Boys and Surfin' Safari, #64;
The Tornadoes and Telstar, #4;
The First Family lp, which was a comedy album by Vaughn Meade on the Kennedys, #1 on the album chart but charting on Seattle stations KOL and KJR;
The Night Has 1,000 Eyes by Bobby Vee, # 43;
Les Cooper's instrumental Wiggle Wobble, #22;
ANNNND Bob B Soxx and the Blue Jeans with Zip A Dee Doo Dah, #18. WHEW!
Just to help you out, there were only four with multiple votes, so you can disregard everybody but Elvis, Vaughn Moore, Bob B Soxx, and the Tornadoes in picking your choice. But if you're like me, I doubt you needed that help!
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Christmas was big on the pop charts back then, and there were 8 Christmas songs on the Hot 100 that week! I thought it might be fun to check them out- especially considering the highest charter of the eight I didn't really know, so it gets to be our unknown feature as well! From the bottom, then;
There were TWO songs listed at #100 that week, and both are on our list. One of them was Brenda Lee's Rocking Around The Christmas Tree. Like most of these, it came out first in 1958, and hit its high-water mark at #14 in 1960. This time around, it would peak the week of January 5th (which all but our #1 did) at #89.
The other at #100 was David Seville and The Chipmunk Song. The fourth time charting for this tune, it hit high water at #1 in the initial 1958 release. This time it would peak at #84.
Bing Crosby's White Christmas was next at #97. I counted 13 times it charted since its release in 1942, including #1s in '42, '45, and '46. This time it would settle at #90.
Bobby Helms and Jingle Bell Rock was #96 this week. The high water for JBR was #11 in '58, and would pak this year at #59.
The Harry Simeone Chorale and The Little Drummer Boy was at #82 this week. One of four that made the top forty this year, it peaked this time at #38, after hitting a high of #10 back in '58.
Ray Stevens was a newbie this year with Santa Claus Is Watching You at #78 this week. It would climb to a high of #37.
The runner up was the Four Seasons' Santa Claus Is Coming To Town at #77. Another first timer, it would stop at #28.
And the top Christmas song of this year was at #55 this week, would climb up to #29, and was the only one to last a fourth week before dropping out. And it belongs to Bobby Boris Pickett and the Crypt-Kickers:
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The UK gets an abbreviated treatment, as the #1 song in the UK is the #1 song in the USA- The King and Return To Sender. HOWEVER, I have a question for Al Penwasser, if he's paying attention- is the Ken Lynch you know so intimately any relation to the Kenny Lynch who sits at UK #8 with a cover of Up On The Roof?
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And now, we come to the M50. Yes, the M50 has been picked for 2016- and "not necessarily going by the points" means that only the top THREE are safe in their spots! I'm going to put the first ten, 50-41 in here, put 40-31 in next week, and share the top thirty in posts throughout the last week of the year. So here you go with 50-41:
50- The Noise, Castlecomer: Earworms of mine are getting featured billing, and the first Video by the boys from Australia definitely qualified. With 14 points, they would have came in back at #65 on a straight points chart, but I couldn't think of a more appropriate lead into MY charts... You can listen here.
49- Tiny, Dinosaur Jr: Come on, how could you resist a skateboarding english bulldog? This actually comes close to the point list, at 47th. Listen here.
48- Feeling OK, Best Coast: I almost had a shot at seeing Bethany and co. in town this year- but a huge price for a list of acts that I only really knew one of, no thanks. Definitely an earworm pick, but would have been just outside in points at #51. Watch Bethany here.
47- Surrender The Throne, Krewella: A big summer earworm, and besides, Jahan Yousaf is in the Beauty Contest finals! It would have pointed out to #61. One of 4 songs that wouldn't have pointed into the top 50- including the song way up at #7! Yep, right here.
46- Next Of Kin, Alvvays: The two biggest new bands of 2015 for me were Alvvays and Beach House- and both of them make the 2016 list! Points put this gem at #43. Check out Molly and friends here.
45- Trip Switch, Nothing But Thieves: One of a handful of my truly memorable videos, where were you when the lights go down? This song was getting overplay on the local excuse for an alternative station, which really damaged what might have been a #1 run. Points had it one back at #46. Go here if you dare...
44- Mont Blanc, Quiet Holler: This apocalyptic thriller was actually one spot different in the point race as well at #45. Always gave me shivers when he talked about buying his family time to run if it came down to it. This way to the end of days...
43- Pulling Teeth, Lucius: I was not very nice to these ladies on the chart. Despite hitting #1, and pointing into the #27 spot, they end up here. Bet I won't be on their Christmas Card list.... But you can still listen to them, they're not mad at you...
42- Nobody Wins, Brian Fallon: On the other hand, this tune I tried and tried to jam in higher. And since it pointed at #31, I prolly shoulda succeeded. All I can say is, I did four revisions of this list- two of them last night. It was not easy, but I am happy. This was the first time I got an actual video to this- it'll break your heart...
41- First Date, Plume Of Feathers: I have to list this one in the "wish there had been something just as good on the rest of the lp" category. A lot of it was talking about their theme- the vanishing neighborhood pub. It pointed out at #38. Listen here.
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In between the big hits for George Harrison, Got My Mind Set On You (1987) and All Those Years Ago (1981), there was only an lp, Gone Troppo. No top 40s on this, basically a "fill out the contract so I can retire" effort from George. On this lp, there was a singer/mandolin player named Joe Brown. Joe was a friend of George's- George was best man at his second marriage- and a much bigger name in the UK, where he had several hits. He also was lead in a 1963 movie called What A Crazy World. It featured other singers, notably Freddie and the Dreamers, and his co-star, one Susan Maughan. You don't know Susan likely, but her biggest hit, which peaked at #3 this week and spent 19 weeks on the UK, was the SAME song that spent 19 weeks on the chart and peaked at #3 this week- for Marcie Blaine- the tune Bobby's Girl, which is the highest charter without Panel love this week.
Marcie was 18 at the time- ol' lady Susan was 24.
And with the M10 already taken care of, that leaves us with the election finals. I mentioned that only 4 had multiple votes- and I already told you the two that The First Family got. Bob B Soxx also only netted two, so it was basically a two-horse race. Return To Sender got 14.2% of the vote, so the winner, with 31.4% was....
...the Tornadoes and Telstar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Next week, I'm not making any promises about whether I'm following the schedule, but we MIGHT be going Route '66.....
ITEM: Creative ways to deal with government fiscal policies
Venezuela, currently going through Year XVIII of "What the Hell is Socialism? Screw it, they CAN'T be any worse", is reacting to the announcement that the 100 Bolivar note- That's about $10 US- is being taken out of circulation within 72 hours. You can put them into your bank account- but with 6 BILLION of them out there- about 200 for every man, woman, and child- wags in the nation are a bit skeptical about their chances of getting them turned in:
...while others are trying to figure out what to do with the soon to be useless money:
Glad to see that Bernie Sanders economics working out so well.
ITEM: I guess it depends on what you call creativity
Not surprisingly, most of the Che Guevara Club of Pop Stars are refusing to play at the Trump inauguration. Since most of music's "best and brightest" are willing to spend millions that could feed thousands on dozens of bodyguards to keep their hundreds of fans who give them that money at bay but still feel they are caring and sympathetic (the "Let them eat cake" mentality), of course they are more than willing to take spin doctors at their word that Trump is the most evil monster since Moth-ra. In fact, celebrated political expert and artistic psychologist john Legend described it this way:
Grammy-winner John Legend, who has been a guest of the Obamas several times, says he is "not surprised at all". "Creative people tend to reject bigotry and hate," he told the BBC. "We tend to be more liberal-minded. When we see somebody that's preaching division and hate and bigotry, it's unlikely he'll get a lot of creative people that want to be associated with him."
Never mind that Obama has been doing this since he was a cheap Chi-town mouthpiece, right? How Andrew Leon of you (that would be the blogger referenced in my previous post). Well, on behalf of those of us who can be creative and NOT totally hoodwinked by the Hollywood Indoctrination Apparatus, I have a rebuttal to Mr Legend:
ITEM: Does this mean I failed the written test?
The Tunisian captain of a ship that sank last April, killing all but a couple dozen of the 700 migrants, was sentenced to 13 years for his part in the disaster. Mohammed Ali Malek, who at first tried to claim he wasn't the captain, later tried to explain how he managed to crash into another ship that was trying to help him:
It is unclear from the reports whether the crayons were his own or provided by the court's day-care center.
ITEM: I'm thinking this place is not good for your daughter's birthday party
From FoxNews:
Dutch restaurant serves up ‘My Little Pony Burger’ made from real horse meat
The offbeat food truck Keuken van het Ongewenst Dier, which translates to "The Unwanted Animal Kitchen," now supplies its "My Little Pony Burger" year round to Babbe Hengeveld, a chef who runs her own restaurant Food Guerilla, reports Vice Munchies. Keuken van het Ongewenst Die has been serving the burger periodically for years and the patty itself is made from the meat of butchered, aging horses that have worked at a local amusement park, Slagharen.
Guess my Barney Burrito idea prolly isn't a good one either.
ITEM: But I'm still good with the Justice League, they're all horny
From the Daily Mail:
Two months after she was made an honorary ambassador by the UN, Wonder Woman has been fired from the position. The superheroine was given the role of Honorary Ambassador for the Empowerment of Women and Girls in October - raising complaints from those who thought a swimsuit-clad white woman with big breasts wasn't diverse or empowering enough. Now, after a public backlash, the indestructible Greek demigoddess has been abruptly sent packing back to Paradise Island - although the UN is downplaying the surprise departure.
And after all DC has done to be PC and diverse. Reports quote Alan Scott as saying, "I turned gay for THIS?"
A fellow blogger who is doing an excellent series on Donald Trump and the truly stupid- as well as the factually based- complaints about him clued us in to another fellow blogger who has seen fit to turn his blog into a one-track insult fest against those who dare to disagree with his near-divine intellect. And you know me, I had to send out a (what I thought was) well-worded rebuttal to his premise, which basically boiled down to this: If you voted for Trump, you either support the hateful, misogynistic stuff he represents, in which case you are stupid; or, you choose to ignore the hateful, misogynistic stuff because he favors some policy you like, in which case you're stupid; or you are just selfish and don't care that the hateful, misogynistic hurts people and thus are stupid.
As you might imagine, you get some pretty amusing replies from such a self-righteous, self-important gentleman. To wit:
Martin: You have obviously been eating the sugar cereal for way too long and have no ability to think beyond what the Republican Party is spoon feeding into your gaping maw. The only record of corruption is Trump's. He's done more corrupt things THIS YEAR than Hilary has done in her entire career. When you back that kind of record, even if he wasn't a racist, misogynistic piece of shit, you have no room to talk.
Okay, so you can see where the problem is right away when you deal with this kind of logic. So the walking litany of corruption known as Hillary Clinton has done NO wrong, and yet I am the one who has no ability to think independently. Now MOST of the liberals I know- even the ones who are almost as intransigent as this fellow- will admit that Hillary is a bit problematic. However, MOST of them wouldn't try to fry Trump supporters in the same hot oil that would leave them a french fry. Unfortunately, you do end up hitting a few odd ducks like this guy, whose main claim to fame is apparently owning a Don Rickles thesaurus. And you might say that he is a product of the times- but you would be wrong.
We've talked before about the ill-advised attempts to compare Trump, or Obama, or who-have-you, to Hitler. You can debate the economic conditions, social standards of the day, etc, etc, but they aren't really the problem at root of people like the blogger above. However, read this excerpt from an Al-Jazeera article I read just moments after I thanked the blogger for his help creating this post:
Moscow, Russia - Jesus Christ was the world's first Communist, Tamara Lavrischeva announced cheerfully. "Jesus said, 'Don't collect earthly wealth, you won't take it with you after death,'" the 78-year-old pensioner and Orthodox Christian told Al Jazeera as she trudged through the snow-covered streets of central Moscow with thousands of other Communists during the November 7 rally that commemorated the almost-centennial anniversary of the 1917 Bolshevik revolution. "And Communists thought the same," she added, her voice drowned by the crowd chanting Soviet-era songs under red banners with hammers and sickles and portraits of Soviet leaders Vladimir Lenin and Joseph Stalin. With a dismissive shrug and a condescending smile, Lavrischeva rejected the killings, imprisonment and persecution of millions of Orthodox Christian clerics and believers at the hand of Communists. What she said was not just an opinion of an elderly woman who wants to reconcile her faith with the ideals of her youth in the officially atheist USSR. Her selective amnesia about the persecution of believers - well-documented and brandished by Soviet authorities - reflects a seemingly paradoxical trend in the recent policies of Russia's Communist Party.
I don't share that to attack Russia or Russians, but to point out that there are people EVERYWHERE who are willing to overlook the most heinous deeds for the right combination of "chickens in their pots". Indeed, if he could have kept the one-sidedness and the insults out, this would have been a very valid point in our blogger buddy's posts. Unfortunately, he is crippled in removing the speck from my eye by the plank in his own. The same people who find it convenient to compare Trump with Hitler- or any other current politician- forget that the reason WHY Hitler came to power was the heinous deeds forgotten by the "chicken seekers". And in comparing the leaders we have now to this most despicable of beings, they are beginning the same train of thought that brought germany to that point back then. The only way to defeat a Hitler is with an open mind- and being willing to say that there are warts on my candidate, and truly looking to see if they are bad enough to disqualify them.
Unfortunately, I have to admit that while I heard many on "my side of the aisle" do that very soul-searching- with many of them voting for candidates who had no chance for that very reason, even though they opposed Hillary and what she stood for every bit as much as the all-in Trumpers. The other side, I heard a lot of, "I guess I'll have to hold my nose and vote for Hillary", and not much in the way of "conscience" votes. When these liberals wonder how it is that someone like Trump got elected, I hope they will come to realize it was this very attitude from them that led to his victory.
Bringing me to this conclusion- which I shared with that blogger, though I don't expect his comprehension- that the enemy of this country is not the Republican, nor the Democrat, nor even the Socialist. No, the enemy of this nation, that is tearing us apart, are the people who refuse to listen. That refuse to learn. That refuse to accept that there are people out there who disagree with them, and many of them have good reasons.
But that blogger? His mouth is a mirror he won't look into.
The events of the past hour finally slowed down for Nicholas. In the solitude of a cold, dank prison cell- a room all-too-familiar to him- He was able to parse out the emotions of the moment and remember what had happened, try to make some sense of his actions.
"SILENCE! ENOUGH!" Constantine had shouted, and the room just stopped. Many of the assembled prelates fell to their knees, their hearts cold with the consideration that the acceptance of their faith was new, and Nicholas may have just signed all their death warrants. Nicholas glared into the face of the still-stunned Eusebius, his own head so full of blood that he could scarce even hear the emperor's command. At this moment, he felt, he might have lopped off the ear of Malchus- and that thought finally gave him pause.
Arius, who had nothing to lose, spoke first. "Your most excellent majesty," he addressed the Emperor, "This is unacceptable! How should a priest- a bishop of Almighty God- strike a fellow, as if he were some bungling heathen slave? Surely this man merits a rebuke." At the last, he smiled- this action would surely rob his opponents of one of their brightest defenders. It was a gift from God, he thought, and swelled his confidence even more.
Constantine, who had risen from his throne to command, now settled back into his high seat to render judgement. "Were he a civil servant," he began, "I would mete out judgement myself. But he is one of your own. You decide how he should be reprimanded. Minding, of course, that I shall act myself if I consider your decision inappropriate."
The three leaders of the council- Alexander, Eustathius, and Macarius- huddled together in brief convocation; then Alexander stepped forward. "Your majesty," he bowed to Constantine, then turned to the others, who now stood at either side of Nicholas. "It is our judgement that Nicholas be stripped of his tokens of authority, and be imprisoned until such time as we later decide." Nicholas hung his head as the two High Bishops took from him his books of the Holy Gospel, and the robe that was the vestments of his station.
"Make it so", Constantine said to the guards attending him, and that is how Nicholas found himself in the familiar arms of a prison cell this night.
"Father," young Nicholas asked his father Epiphanius. "Saint John says that Jesus attacked the money changers in the temple." "Aye," his father nodded. "That he made a whip from knotted cords to strike them." "Yes." "But He taught to turn the other cheek, father. So why did He then want to strike them? "Because, my son, His love for his Father was so great, he could not abide the blasphemy of what they were doing. David prophesied, 'Zeal for Your house will consume me.' This was not a sin, but rather the righteous anger for God that we should all have. In all things, Christ is our example. But we must weigh our actions. James and John wanted to rain fire down on a city that rejected jesus, and Jesus rebuked them. The difference being, they of the city did not insult God; they merely exercised the free will which is man's birthright, albeit to their own folly." "I think I see", the child said. "It is the difference between according the proper respect for God, and seeking revenge, which the Lord says is his alone..."
Nicholas pondered the memory. What were his motives? Had he struck due to an insult of God, a blasphemy, or merely to silence the speaker? He ran the words of Eusebius through his mind again. "Manufacturing a God from nothing," he had said. Surely, had the bishops any courage, they should have torn their garments- were that still in fashion. Why had he not merely done that? He prayed for guidance once again. Suddenly a light shone forth. Had the council reconsidered at this late hour? No, this light was too bright, impossibly bright. Two figures strode forth, and one 'had the appearance of a Son of Man'. In his shackles, Nicholas fell to the ground.
"Rise," the Figure commanded him. "Why are you in jail?"
Nicholas had to, in a moment, weigh once and for all his actions. "For loving You," he finally answered.
"Take this," the Figure answered, handing him his book of the Holy Gospel. The other- was it Mary, the Mother of God, or an angel?- draped upon him the omophorion, the vestments of his Bishopric that had been stripped from him. As he rose to receive them, the shackles fell from his limbs, and the Figures disappeared.
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When the Emperor's clerk called the session of the council to order the next morning, Arius turned red with rage to see Nicholas, with the trappings of his vestment, standing in the assembly. "Your majesty!" He shouted without thinking, "How is this man not in prison? Nay, he even wears his sacred scapular, that you had removed from him? The effrontery!"
Constantine, not a man who enjoyed being shouted at to start the day, answered in a low growl, "An effrontery which you come close to imitating, at your peril. Alexander, explain this, if you would."
The leader of the orthodox prelates stepped forward, bowing. "Your majesty, I was consumed by a dream last night. This morning, I talked to several of these others, and many of them shared the dream. We went to the cell of Nicholas, and found him thus- just as in our visions."
The room, those who were unaware, gasped. Constantine arched an eyebrow, and put a hand to his chin. Arius rolled his eyes. "Just what was this vision?" the Emperor asked.
"Sire, that Christ himself, and the Holy Mother, appeared to Nicholas, and returned his tokens."
"Ridiculous!" Arius shouted. "A clearly visible ruse!"
"SILENCE!" Constantine shouted again as he made his way slowly, regally, from the throne to the main floor. The assembly made wide way for him as he strode towards Nicholas. The bishop kept his gaze down in humility even as Constantine faced him. "Is this true?" he asked.
"Your majesty," Nicholas began, not knowing how to express what had happened. "The lights... so bright..." Constantine saw it, as had the others- the subtle aura, the light that clinged still to Nicholas like a fading dream.
"Majesty," Arius said, "Do not be led astray by these liars. They manufacture a miracle as they do a God. Why, I..."
Without turning towards Arius, Constantine rumbled, "You should know, prelate, that if ANY know a sign when they see it, it is I..."
Realizing his mistake, Arius bowed low. "Of course, your majesty..."
The Emperor spoke directly to Nicholas now. The Lord has deemed your actions righteous. I hope that the Council will recognize that." The assembly began to answer softly, "Yes, we recognize it.."
Arius, slowly retreating, muttered, "I... will recognize..", more out of self preservation at this point than any conviction.
"Will you forgive us, Nicholas of Myra?" The Emperor asked for the multitude.
"There is nothing to forgive, your majesty," Nicholas answered.
Constantine regarded Nicholas for a long moment. "Then let us resume," he said, turning back to the throne. "Keeping in mind that the Lord Christ has His eye on these deliberations".
A lone man looking for means of expression in a tsunami of information. Seeking truth justice and the American way in the perspective of a Nixon conservative. And the Commissioner of the free world's smallest and best fantasy football league.
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