Newspage Go!

So I thought after all the fooferall this weekend it was time for some fun posts.  So I went to my favorite newspages- and believe it or not, they were more intersted in NEWS (or at least what passes for it these days) than entertainment MWN style.  So let's just bop around varius news sites and see what kinda silly headlines might be making the news today.

From Fox News:  Facebook to free the nipple?

This on a story about FB threatening to lower their standards.  But it leaves me with some questions.  Was the nipple detained for domestic terrorism?  Was it held at Gitmo?  Is FB spearheading a Free the Nipple movement in front of the courthouse where its hearing is being held?  This would have been much better if the headline was, "FB:  The Nipple Is Dead", because then I could do jokes about "Showing times at Hooters and Son funeral home,"  etc.  Hooters FUNERAL HOMES?  Hmmm...

A PSA since I need to show Obama in a better light, lol

Of course, the value of that headline doubles because mere inches away we have...

Oops! Britney flashes crowd

You want true irony?  What was she singing at the time?


The 34-year-old singer suffered the mishap while performing the hit “I Love Rock ‘N’ Roll“ when the strap to her top unclasped around her neck and fell down.


Now THAT is seriously funny.


From the BBC:  Pee problem eroding world's tallest church

The current world's tallest church in Ulm, Germany, is yet another famous public building that has become a target for urination al fresco.  Even doubling the fine to $110 a shot (so to speak) hasn't er, stopped the steady stream of violations.  But to me, if you combine the real problem with the way the headline actually reads, I have the perfect solution...

From the Moscow Times:

When Officials Shut Off the Power, Krasnoyarsk Man Took His Kitchen to City Hall

Apparently the Russian city has been wracked lately with power outages and mysterious electrical explosions.  Which pissed off "Alexander", so rather than flying to Ulm and have a pee, he packed up his entire kitchen his electric teakettle and went to the city hall, plugged in and made a cup.  The real headscratcher here, though, was the accompanying picture, and its caption:

Krasnoyarsk's “Alexander” heads to city hall to make his tea. They've got electricity.

Looks more like "Alexander stopped off to have an Ulm and left his bag outside" to me...

From China's Xinhua:

Letters from Titanic's second-in-command who "had queer feelings" about doomed ship are sold

What, I didn't even SAY anything yet, yeesh!  Golly, you give some people a foot in...


 And how 'bout we end with a blast from our friends at North Korea's KCNA news agency:

KCNA Commentary Lashes out at U.S. Official's Malignant Mud-slinging at DPRK


Okay, so this one's more for the article, but it's still funny.

Pyongyang, October 22 (KCNA) -- Symptoms of doom of the Obama group are manifested in the political unrest of the officials of the U.S. administration who are in the grip of self-contradiction.
    On Oct. 12 (Daniel R.) Rassel, U.S. assistant secretary of State for East Asia-Pacific Affairs, dared hurt the dignity of the supreme leadership of the DPRK, talking nonsense that it would meet its end the moment it has access to the capabilities for making a nuclear strike.
    What he raved is no more than the last-ditch efforts to evade the responsibility for having shaken the foundation of the security of the mainland as the Obama group's north Korea policy suffered a total failure and they compelled the DPRK to emerge the strongest nuclear weapons state though they have to quit the White House soon.
    It is normal for politicians with elementary political sense to notice the qualitative change taking place in the politico-military structure in the present world.
    However, Rassel is so ignorant of the DPRK though he claims has been in charge of the north Korea policy for the past more than two decades. It is pity that Americans have national security left to such guy to look after it.


See?  It ain't just me...