Time Machine co-ordinates VIXXVIV67342368

 

Elvis:  Hey, is it true you're shutting down Time Machine when we hit 700 posts?

I'm thinking good possibility.  It was so much easier just doing that M10 deal last week...

But what about yer loyal crew?  We'll be unemployed!

But you're imaginary, so you'll be okay.

An' I would like to continue being imaginary.  Sure beats, "deceased".

I'll probably keep doing little specials, maybe some more parties, they were fun.  By the way, do you know when we'd be stopping, in the odd case that we actually keep on schedule the rest of the way?

Um... lessee, 6 goes into four...

Halloween weekend, my friend.  Maybe we could close out with a big Halloween bash- and come back and to another Christmas show!

That'd be burnt!  But what're we doing in the meantime?

I'm not quite sure.  This was last week's Panel, so it was mid-April 1968, and you know what that means...

Yeah... unfortunately.  It means Bobby Goldsboro and Honey won big, didn't it?

Oh, yeah. Lapped the field once, and was coming back for seconds.  Fortunately, I have a couple of ideas... and we have a live 6D to put together!

I got an idea.  Let's you n me put our heads together an' flesh out these 'couple'a idears', and let Bellbottom do the live 6D.

Great idea!  Horace....

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HB:  I most strenuously object to these spur of the moment shenanigans!  Sigh.  Well, at least put on a little music while I gather my wits and information.  Mr Nardole, would you be so kind...

N:  Why not? At least YOU get my name right!  So we have one debut that comes into this week's M10 at #9.  An Alternative act of some standing, with a cut from their latest lp, this is Evanescence....

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HB:  Well, you all have certainly given me a poser on this task.  And not a Rodney Dangerfield in sight, as it were.  So let me start this adventure by quoting Wikipedia:

"Langdon Winner (born August 7, 1944) is Thomas Phelan Chair of Humanities and Social Sciences in the Department of Science and Technology Studies at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, Troy, New York."

And why, you ask, do we care about Prof. Winner on this farcical music show?  Firstly, because he was involved in a bit of a farce himself.  It seems he contributed backing vocals and piano to a 'bootleg' album from "the Masked Marauders".  The Marauders, despite scoring a single, never really existed; but according to a hoax by the editorial staff of Rolling Stone magazine, they were a supergroup consisting of  three of the four Beatles, Bob Dylan,  and Mick Jagger of the Rolling Stones.  All it was, actually, was a fake review, at first.  But then they decided to go one step further and hired an obscure act called 'the Cleanliness and Godliness Skiffle Band', who actually did exist.  After recording some songs mentioned in the review, including their ersatz Bob Dylan singing Duke Of Earl, and the fraudulent Jagger singing, er, 'I Can't Get No Nookie', they would go on to turn it into a full album which actually got to #114 on the album charts.

Why go to such an elaborate ruse?  Apparently they were inspired by what seems to be the first bootleg album, a Bob Dylan disc eventually called Great White Wonder.  This album included the first recording of what Mr Dylan described as "a nursery rhyme", that was later recorded and sits as our victim at #6, last week in 1968- Manfred Mann and Mighty Quinn (Quinn The Eskimo).  How was that?

Wow, excellent job, HB!  So here's the first thing we came up with- the tight battle for 2nd place.  In fact, the two runners up and Honey took 83% of the votes.  Who came in 2nd by a 14-13 score? Was it:

The Beatles, Lady Madonna, #2 last week in 1968;

or Gary Puckett and the Union Gap, Young Girl, #1 this week?

That's right, I said, #1, because Honey was still a week out from its four weeks on top of Cashbox and its chart! And still beat the 2 songs in front of it by more than what either of them got!  Before we get to our other bright idea, Bud, you got the Overseas If You Please?

Sure!  Last week in 1968, South Africa and Australia had the  current #11 in the USA- and former #1- Paul Mauriat and Love Is Blue...

New Zealand had the 6D song, Mighty Quinn...

Canada had our #4, the Monkees and Valleri...

And always having to be different, the UK had Cliff Richard's Congratulations.

And the big mover was the Rascals an' Beautiful Morning, up from 77 to 42, a jump of... of... lessee, 6 goes into...

35 spots, King!  So now, here I come with our other little game.  The year 1968 on Cashbox had five songs collect HALF of the weeks at #1!  Those same five songs also had 26 weeks at the top at Billboard, but with different amounts of weeks at #1, and one BB #1 had more weeks than 3 of the five Cashboxers, and one had the same.  Confused?  Let me rearrange...

No, here, let me, you ain't talkin' sense.  Now, what's gonna happen is, you're gonna see a list of the Cashbox five that got 26 weeks, PLUS the two that did better than some of 'em on Billboard.  YOU pick out the two that don' belong on the Cashbox list.  See?  Everyone can unnerstand that!

I suppose you're right.  So here, in order of when they hit #1, are your choices...

Love Is Blue

Sittin' On The Dock Of The Bay, Otis Redding

Honey

Mrs Robinson by Simon and Garfunkel

This Guy's In Love With You, Herb Alpert

People Got To Be Free, The Rascals

And the Beatles, Hey Jude.

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EP:  Now, the next thing we gotta decide, is do we get Goldsboro on the show next week?  I vote no.

HB:  Good heavens, Presley, we're contractually obligated!

EP:  How?  He don' know he won, and he's imaginary, anyway!

Makes a good point, Horace...

Nardole:  Perhaps I could have one of those "thoughtless moments" that you seem to like to write for me when you don't want a particular guest...

HB:  How utterly dishonest!

EP:  But it gets us in the clear, right?

(phone rings)

HB:  Except that we're having this conversation on the post where everyone can see... would someone please get that phone?

EP:  Yeah, Time Machine, Elvis here...

Bobby Goldsboro:  Say, if you don't want me on the show that bad, why don't you all go...CLICK (dial tone)

Wow, problem solved!  So let's get the rest of the M10 out of the way, and give out the game winners!

Nardole:  Allow me.  

10- and falling from six, Elton John, who has somehow survived two M10 hits without us posting him in the duck costume...

EP:  Ya mean this one?

N:  (Sigh), Yes, and his song Big Man In A Little Suit...

EP:  Don' look so small to me, especially in the....

N: AT #9,  was the song in the video, so...

8- Dami Im, falling from 3 with Lonely Cactus;

7- Holding at 7, tying for the most weeks on the chart, and one week away from breaking both that record and the 100-point plateau for the first time, Home Free with Don McLean and American Pie;

6- Rogue Wave with Aesop Rock, up 2 places;

5- Down from 2, after 9 weeks, the Explorer's Club and Don't Waste Her Time.

4- Up from #9, Blackberry Smoke and Ain't The Same.

3- Up one spot, Maddie and Tae with Woman You Got.

2- Lats week's 3-week #1, Matthew Sweet and Blown Away.

So the new M10 #1- a week after debuting at 5...

...Redspencer and Happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All right!  And now, the winners- first off, the #1 contest.

On Cashbox, Love Is Blue and Hey Jude had 7 weeks on top, and four weeks for Honey, Mrs Robinson, and This Guy's In Love With You.  The winning picks were Dock Of The Bay, which had 4 weeks on BB but never topped #3 on CB, and People Got To Be Free, which only got 3 weeks on CB but 5 on BB.

And the runner up winner was...

EP:  Don' tell me, lemme guess- the Beatles...

Actually no, Gary Puckett was the 14-vote getter, so he was the best runner up!

N: Shall I contact him to be our guest next week- assuming we DO a next week?

EP:  Haw, no, just go ahead and mess up like we planned.  It's funnier that way!

N:  Why do I have to be the butt of the joke?

EP:  'Cause, you're NOODLE NOODLE NOODLE!