ITEM: You might say that life in Venezuela post-Hugo Chavez has went to the outhouse...
The Venezuelan government has taken
over a toilet paper factory to avoid any scarcity of the product.
The National Guard has taken control of the plant, and officers will monitor
production and distribution. Earlier this year officials ordered millions of toilet rolls to be imported
to counter a chronic shortage. Last week President Nicolas Maduro created a special committee to tackle the
problem, which the government blames on unscrupulous traders.
"Hey, buddy... c'mere... shhhh, hey I got a deal for ya..." (Opens trench coat, reveals packs of Charmin.)
ITEM: I was just thinking of doing this to Obama...
Egyptian arrested for naming donkey after general
Associated Press
CAIRO – A farmer in southern Egypt was arrested Saturday after putting the military chief's name and an army-style cap on his donkey, and eight people were detained elsewhere in the country for spraying anti-military graffiti. The arrests point to a long-standing taboo in Egypt against criticizing the country's powerful military, an offense magnified amid the ongoing crackdown on supporters of the country's ousted President Mohammed Morsi and his Muslim Brotherhood. The farmer, Omar Abul-Magd, was arrested late Friday in Qena province for allegedly insulting Gen. Abdel-Fattah el-Sissi when he rode the donkey through town, reported the state MENA news agency.
Might have been pushing it a bit with the ride... I doubt Omar was the attraction that say, Lady Godiva was....
Great Allah, Omar! Can't you let Abdul ride "the general" for a while? I'm getting shorter!
ITEM: I would be remiss without congratulating Samuel L. Jackson for taking the Pesident to task in Playboy the other day...
“First of all, we know (his deliberate dropping of “g’s” off the ends of words to seemingly sound like Joe Average) ain’t because of his blackness, so I say stop trying to ‘relate.’ Be a leader. Be f**king presidential... Look, I grew up in a society where I could say ‘It ain’t’ or ‘What it be’ to my friends. But when I’m out presenting myself to the world as me, who graduated from college, who had family what cared about me, who has a well-read background, I f**king conjugate.”
“On Twitter someone will write, ‘Your an idiot,’ and I’ll go, ‘No, you’re an idiot,’ and all my Twitterphiles will go, ‘Hey, Sam Jackson, he’s the grammar police.’ I’ll take that. Somebody needs to be. I mean, we have newscasters who don’t even know how to conjugate verbs, something Walter Cronkite and Edward R. Murrow never had problems with. How the f**k did we become a society where mediocrity is acceptable.”
And then, sounding a lot like yours truly...
The famed actor also staunchly defended director Quentin Tarantino’s controversial use of the “N” word in last year’s hit “Django Unchained.”
“These 20-somethings can’t turn around and tell me the word n**ger is f**ked-up in ‘Django’ yet still listen to Jay Z or whoever else say ‘n**ger, n**ger, n**ger’ throughout the music they listen to,” he told the men’s magazine. “You can’t have it one way and not the other. Saying Tarantino said ‘n**ger’ too many times is like complaining they said ‘kike’ too many times in a movie about Nazis.”
"... And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers by not conjugating. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you by blowing yo' Uncle Tom ass off!"
Okay then, let's go for a walk around in the woods (since we had to avoid the IPFW Cross Country Training Squad and Glee Club yet again...)
So somebody tries to lead us into the high ground...
This was neat in a bizarre way...
This is me, having too short of arms to show you me swinging from the natural swing...
...and it was kinda low, too.
Somebody lost a leg bone..
Cute little fungoids
Now, Scrappy wants us to cross the great wall of stickers to get to the chunk of woods we rarely ever go to. Which means first I gotta get past this..
And when you first get there, the ground is a real glass-bottle-and -pottery graveyard. Eventually, we fight our way to and through the edge of the woodlet, across the back yard of the assisted-living community, and back into more familiar territory.
As I was snapping this bulbous fungoid growing up beside a fallen log...
I saw this one growing INSIDE the log! I guess you can grow pretty much anywhere when you don't need direct sunlight.
What's it like to be a boatman staring at your reflection...
...along with a couple dozen of your friends?
So into the tangle bushes of the north bank we go...
And I find, not one, but two orphaned golf balls! Trust me, no one else would have came where we were to find them..
Scrappy, can't you EVER look like you WANT to be with me in a picture??
SMMMOOOOOOTCH!!
Kinda see why they named it Stoney Run, eh?
Our intrepid explorer, tracking coon prints.
So I tell Scrappy to find us a way out. This is what he found. Really, Scrappy? On my hands and knees?
This is from the outside, doing a little more justice to just what I got drug through.
So THAT'S why my TP was so expensive this week. Thanks a lot Venezuelan government. In all seriousness, how does ones country run out of TP, and why does it come down to the National Guard to stop the problem? lol. If only our own country had such "trivial" problems at the moment. It would at least be a refreshing change.
I wish I was cool enough to find a midget's leg bone in the forest. I wonder where the rest of him is (God rest his tiny soul).
That camel thing is hilarious. A few years back, when I was in Thailand, there was an uproar because a guy uploaded a video to Youtube about the king of Thailand where he photoshopped him to look like a monkey. So they banned Youtube. Banned it, across the entire country. Needless to say, that did not go over well and they quickly lifted the ban. And now the king is known as The Monkey King. Way to pick your battles, Monkey King.
Chris: Regarding the toilet paper? A friend of mine sent me a roll of OBAMA paper...wipe yer butt wit "da prez"...ROFL!
Love the Sam Jackson take, too...while I don't agree with everything he says, he IS 100% CORRECT here with the grammar! Besides, who screws with NICK FURY...and gets AWAY with it?
Love the Scrappy pics ...and all the fungus among us
Walking through the woods is nice except when I trip over a root, by that I mean tree root not the root people here down under do often in the nude.............ok off topic for a moment.............any way if I don't trip and fall flat on my face which would be hard as I am sure my big fat gut should get in the way but so often it doesn't and I end up hitting my face, ok off topic again I think what was I going to say.........you don't know well that makes two of us........................where is Venezuela I can't remember well it doesn't matter I can tell you it is a good thing they are making more toilet paper because they can't have mine I need it, once I am finished with it they can have it but I doubt they would want it then.........lol
Root people- I'll have to look that one up... Big fat gut- trust me, that big fat gut will jam everything in there into places you don't want them to be, trust me. It is not a pleasant way to land. Venezuela- north end of South America. Once I am finished with it- LOL! That's a great idea! Help save Hugo Chavez' legacy! Send used TP to Venezuela! I love it!
A lone man looking for means of expression in a tsunami of information. Seeking truth justice and the American way in the perspective of a Nixon conservative. And the Commissioner of the free world's smallest and best fantasy football league.
So THAT'S why my TP was so expensive this week. Thanks a lot Venezuelan government. In all seriousness, how does ones country run out of TP, and why does it come down to the National Guard to stop the problem? lol. If only our own country had such "trivial" problems at the moment. It would at least be a refreshing change.
ReplyDeleteHow does one's country run out of TP? Remember, this WAS Hugo Chavez' place, and that's an awfully big turd...
DeleteI wish I was cool enough to find a midget's leg bone in the forest. I wonder where the rest of him is (God rest his tiny soul).
ReplyDeleteThat camel thing is hilarious. A few years back, when I was in Thailand, there was an uproar because a guy uploaded a video to Youtube about the king of Thailand where he photoshopped him to look like a monkey. So they banned Youtube. Banned it, across the entire country. Needless to say, that did not go over well and they quickly lifted the ban. And now the king is known as The Monkey King. Way to pick your battles, Monkey King.
A midget? And here I thought it was from a squirrel.
DeleteChris:
ReplyDeleteRegarding the toilet paper?
A friend of mine sent me a roll of OBAMA paper...wipe yer butt wit "da prez"...ROFL!
Love the Sam Jackson take, too...while I don't agree with everything he says, he IS 100% CORRECT here with the grammar!
Besides, who screws with NICK FURY...and gets AWAY with it?
Love the Scrappy pics ...and all the fungus among us
Well done.
Keep on reporting up there.
I don't know if I want Obama touching me there... but the thought is what counts.
DeleteWalking through the woods is nice except when I trip over a root, by that I mean tree root not the root people here down under do often in the nude.............ok off topic for a moment.............any way if I don't trip and fall flat on my face which would be hard as I am sure my big fat gut should get in the way but so often it doesn't and I end up hitting my face, ok off topic again I think what was I going to say.........you don't know well that makes two of us........................where is Venezuela I can't remember well it doesn't matter I can tell you it is a good thing they are making more toilet paper because they can't have mine I need it, once I am finished with it they can have it but I doubt they would want it then.........lol
ReplyDeleteRoot people- I'll have to look that one up...
DeleteBig fat gut- trust me, that big fat gut will jam everything in there into places you don't want them to be, trust me. It is not a pleasant way to land.
Venezuela- north end of South America.
Once I am finished with it- LOL! That's a great idea! Help save Hugo Chavez' legacy! Send used TP to Venezuela! I love it!