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ME: Puts bottle of Pepsi on counter at the BP. Pulls out a five.
Clerk: Would you like a dollar scratch off?
ME: No, I need change for a pop at work tomorrow in case it is a drizzling shit like today was."
Oh, and I will add that sometime between 2:00 Saturday (when we got off) and 6 AM Monday (when we came back), the power had to have went out yet again and our computers- including the one that runs my machine- were mere decoration until around 7:30 and acted as if they were on Windows 5 without the virus protection most of the rest of the day.
I spent a little time trying to gather some Martin World News, to little effect. It was certainly more entertaining than watching myself lose half of my sweet 16 on my bracket. Oh, and speaking of sports, be sure to check out the latest hockey update on the NHFFL page. It's a great cure for insomnia. Anyway, one of the things I did find was that Google Translate isn't exactly always accurate. For example, here is Liz Wahlova.
She is the reporter who quit her job on government run TV when Putin started the whole Crimean mess. She said she had been nothing but Putin's PAWN. But GT rendered it thus:
Perhaps GT should have made that "chess piece." Then it wouldn't sound like a Bill Clinton story.
The next one I found was a head shaker in that you gotta wonder about the things that people use social media for- and what those using it get bent about.
Meet 2013 Singapore Miss Universe finalist Jesslyn Tan.
Tan, apparently a clothes horse extraordinaire who thinks everyone dresses like her, thought it funny to take a picture of a man who had fallen asleep on the subway, and- OMG- had a hole in his shirt!
She posted the picture on Facebook, with the comment, "Holey moley. Sibei (very) trendy worzxxz."
She'd love me if holey clothes are her thing. I have jeans, shirts, hoodies, socks, even underwear with holes if she feels like snapping. But instead of leaving sleeping idiots lie, a member of government got involved:
Meet the holey guy, one Koh Hee Huat, with Senior Minister of State for Law and Education Indranee Rajah. Ms. Rajah took to Facebook and in a 67-line dressing down of Miss Tan, reminded everyone to be more sensitive to others. Unlike Ms. Tan, Mr. Koh is a hard working man who spend hours in his shop earning money that comes so easily to Ms. Tan and doesn't exactly feel like putting on the ritz for the ride home. Ms. Rajah's post is closing in on 34 THOUSAND likes. For her part, Tan had already took down the post after several people called her out and made a public (but not personal) apology.
Of course many of those who liked Ms. Rajah's plea for sensitivity and politeness have gone on to say things like, "This young lady MUST go get a brain scan and go back to grammar school. Get help please, Miss Tan." Ah, social media.
Oh, before I get to the last story.... I DID warn you if any of my hockey teams made their league finals, I'd cover it here. The first to do so is Sanok in the Polish League.
Sanok opened the Polish finals against #1 Tychy today, losing game one 2-0.
Okay, now on to the final story, a little horsing around, as it were. Let us borrow the time machine to go back to last Christmas, travelling down National Road 114 in southern Portugal. Somebody's horse got loose and crossed the road. In the ensuing chaos, the horse, a middle aged couple in one car, and a 5-year old child and an elderly man in another, were killed. The question was, whose horse was it?
And the question remains unanswered. The horse did have a microchip, so they traced it. The Director of Portugal's Food and Veterinary Office found that the chip was manufactured by a Swiss company, from a lot that was distributed to the Spanish province of Andalusia. So she contacted the Spanish counterpart- and he found that NOBODY had bothered to register the ID number.
In the consequence, The Portuguese authorities then began a roundup of other troublemaking, juvenile delinquent horses who were running loose and causing similar problems. A total of 12 equine bad boys were rounded up; seven were returned to their ever-so-concerned owners - after the paying of fines and costs- and the others were adopted out (hopefully not to those same owners). Just in case you're curious, the distance from Evora, the site of the incident, to Andalusia, is 269 miles. Those bad horses DO get around, huh?
You can hardly see the hole in the guy's shirt.
ReplyDeleteThe hole in her head is much more apparent.
DeleteSorry about your ghastly Monday. No one deserves a Monday harder than being what a general Monday already is...Wait a second, when did I turn into Garfield?
ReplyDeleteNow, while the translation makes it to sound like she was Putin's whore, the sentiment could be seen as comparable, albeit one incredibly less sexualized.
Oh how I want to rail against the genetically privileged, judgmental tart--sorry, Tan, but she knows no better. She makes her living off of her looks. What amazing luck that must be. If she can hypnotize people into throwing money at her simply for how she looks, is it surprising that she would cast judgement upon, or be unable to empathize with Mr. Koh? As awesome as Ms. Rajah's act is (opportunistic, maybe, but still ultimately positive) I can't help but giggle at Koh's apathetic expression. His expression is, "Yeah, I get it, I'm being used as a pawn...or is it as a piece? But hey, free clothes are free clothes."
"I Was Rajah's Piece..." Hmmm, just not the same ring...
DeleteAnd as for Ms. Tan, I was also thinking that empty heads aren't just found in Blonde American girls.
When they do a brain scan on Tan, perhaps they should also check to see if she has a heart.
ReplyDeleteMy heart goes out to those 12 equine bad boys. They are just some young studs just out for a good time. They shouldn't be too harsh on them.
Tan- She might just as well ask for courage and make it a clean sweep.
Delete"Young studs out for a good time..." Wish I'd have thought of that one!
And this is why I still don't have a Twitter account. There will always be people who feel the need to shout out every thought in their head. (Yeah, I know I can stop following someone like that) but I don't want to know most of the random thoughts people have. I would rather they keep it to themselves. So, I limit my social media. It seems to be an avenue for people to make idiots of themselves. I have to say, on the record, that I am SO GLAD that I am not a teenager right now.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you on that. Seems the more they have... the less they really have.
DeleteChris:
ReplyDeleteThose outages are becoming a bit too frequent (and annoying).
As to "religious" clothing, I mend the holes when I find them (if possible)...if they can't be fixed, I recycle them into work rags about the house or for the cars.
Naturally, where WE live, having holes in damn near ANYTHING at ANY time seems to be the order of most any day (hopefully not that close to home).
Good post.
Hang in there and stay safe up in Sambonia.
I once wore a favorite shirt to work even when the bottom front hem was entirely gone. Like I said, she'd really love me.
DeleteIt amazes me that some people have pets at all. If you're not going to concern yourself with them when they go MISSING and go out terrorizing innocent motorists why have them in the first place?!?! I would have been frantic and embarrassed.
ReplyDeleteOh and Miss Singapore needs to gain about 20 pounds to start looking healthy. She's a freakin' twig.
I doubt they were pets- probably work horses. Not that that changes your point.
DeleteAnd Tan? I totally agree. I might like to do perverted things to women, but flossing with one doesn't make the list.
Sounds like that young lady (Tan) got a long overdue taking down a peg.
ReplyDeleteLove when the internet looks after the innocent
Unfortunately, as you scroll through the comments on Rajah's page, more of them wanted to pig-pile Tan than lead by example.
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