The most and least addictive foods

So I stumbled upon the above-named article on a click-through to the UK's Independent.  It came about as a study called Which Foods May Be Addictive? The Roles of Processing, Fat Content, and Glycemic Load  by Erica M. Schulte, Nicole M. Avena, Ashley N. Gearhardt, published on PLOS One.  I thought it might be fun- even if the survey only used 35 foods "varying in nutritional composition", and thus rather subjective to the point of proving "processed food bad, natural food good," which we all already knew and some even cared about.  But it's a list, and we all love lists, so let's have some fun, working our way up to the best most addictive.


First of all, we have to set the parameters.  Apparently a Yale study came up with 7 criteria of which 3 had to be met to be considered "addictive".  Those 7 were, paraphrased:

1- You eat more of it than you should, for more often than you should
2- You've tried unsuccessfully to give it up
3- Spending a lot of time on acquisition and consumption
4- Giving up important stuff to eat it
5- "Adverse effects, shamdverse effects"
6- Developing a tolerance
7- "Withdrawal symptoms"

Then they judged two study groups on how often each food was rated in each category, and came up with these results:

35- Cucumbers.  Boy, I can't see why there!  On a scale where 7-was "I can't live without it" and 1 being "what the heck IS it?", Cucumbers got a 1.53.

34- Carrots.  While I would say my carrot intake over the years has increased, it is more of a, "easier than picking them out" thing to me.

33- Beans.  Several of these items were offered sans sauce "so they didn't effect the results."  That prolly hurt beans.  Didn't do the cukes any good to be without dip, either, I imagine.

32- Apples.  Really?  Put some caramel on them and watch 'em shoot up the chart.

31- Brown rice.  Uncle Ben will not be pleased...

30- Broccoli.  Now you're courting disaster with the Broccoli gods...

I wasn't really looking for this, but since I found it...

29- Bananas.  I call BS on THAT one.  Ask any monkey.

28- Salmon.  Now THAT depends on how you cook it.

27- Corn.  No butter, no salt, right out of the bird feeder I guess.

26-  Strawberries.  Lemme guess, no shortcake, no cool-whip.

25- Granola bar.  Lower if it's a KIND bar.

24- Water.  WATER?  Go without for a couple days and see where it charts, fool!

23- Crackers.  "Plain".  Must be Wheat Thins.

22- Pretzels.  I know a lot of people who might fight this one.  Have at it.

21- Chicken breast.  And I suppose it was served raw...

20- Eggs.  Hmm.  You haven't seen me and still-warm hard boiled eggs, I guess.

19- Nuts.  Again, nut fans, you're on your own here.

18- Muffin.  Well, what KIND of muffin?  Put some blueberries in it, then we'll talk.

17- Steak.  BTW, we have passed the 2.50 mark with this one.  Is it at Texas Roadhouse, medium rare?  I may have a "beef" with this then...

16- Gummy candy.  Child, please.  Move these back under the granola bar.

15- Breakfast cereal.  THAT'S a rather broad category.  Are we talking a 5-pound bag of "Kroger-o's" or a steaming bowl of Coco-Wheats?  Makes a BIG difference.

14- Popcorn, buttered.  HEY!  How does the popcorn get buttered and you can't even have nacho sauce for your stupid pretzel???

13- Rolls, plain.  If you've seen me at Thanksgiving, you know the Brown-n-Serv's aren't even safe before they hit the oven.

12- Fried chicken.  Now we're talking.  And I guess I was right about #21 being raw.

11- BACON.  How is this not top five?  Must be raw, too.

10- Cheese. 

9- Cake.  Broad category.  Should have added, "Except fruitcake".

8- Soda, non-diet.  Well, I'm living proof on THAT one...

7-

I have a BIG problem with this even being THIS high.  Number two, at least.  And certainly at least a step ahead of...

6- French Fries.  Which would be NOTHING without the burger, you hear me? NOTHING!

5- Ice Cream.  Again, we need to check the flavor.

YES.

NO.  A THOUSAND TIMES NO!

4-  Cookie.  This could mean a lot of things.  Let's assume it was a double-stuff Oreo.

3- Chips.  Again, way too generic.  Ruffles with cheddar and sour cream?  Yes.  Lays with salt and vinegar?  Geddouttahere.

2- CHOCOLATE.  I can testify beyond a shadow of a doubt that this should be #1.  If you disagree, you're prolly eating a cucumber, no dip.

And #1 most addictive, with a rating of 4.01...

Pizza.  You knew it all along, didn't you?