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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.

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Thursday, March 18, 2010

Fess Parker 1924-2010


Probably a good third of my life between the ages of 4 and 9 were spent in an ersatz coonskin cap, a plaid shirt with fringes from an old bedcover sewn on the arms, a plastic double barrelled shotgun in my hands, hiding between my bed and the wall killing wave after wave of marauding Shawnee. To say that Fess Parker, tv's Daniel Boone, was a hero of mine back then would have been a huge understatement. I even had a headdress made of old underwear elastic with chicken feathers sewn in when I wanted to play Mingo. Seeing Ed Ames without feathers was a bigger shock than Leonard Nimoy without pointed ears. I once even had a dream where Parker was there as Boone AND Davy Crocket at the same time. Parker crossed the Cumberland Gap for the final time today, on his wife's 84th birthday. He gave up acting after Daniel Boone, saying he came up with guys like John Wayne and Gary Cooper, and here he was running around in coonskin caps. He should've seen what I was wearing. Thanks, Fess, for teaching me to appreciate Native Amer... I mean, indians; to appreciate nature and the quiet of the woods; to appreciate the Ames Brothers as singers; and all the hours of fun you created. The actual Boone once said to the effect of, I've never been lost, but I've been confused for weeks at a time. Tonight, I'm lost.

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