My camera-how I love it

This morning I thought I'd try actually recording stuff on our walk.  I was waiting for deer.  Sure enough, we saw them- too far away to get.  But as they usually head for the senior living apartments, we followed the trail that way.  When we got to the edge of the trail, I thought I'd turn it on record, just in case.  After about 45 seconds, the damn thing shut off!  When I checked to see if it got anything, I saw this:

 

WTF?  I tried again, several times, as we followed the deer (which we had spotted again) through unfamiliar underbrush and places that SOMEBODY had to get all tangled up in.  No matter what I did, I got results like this:

So I says to myself, "You know, I know it's not supposed to work this way, but I wonder if I HELD the record button..."
And a quick test produced this...

Okay, so that must have been the problem, huh?  So when we returned to the main trail, I tried it again as we came around the bend towards the bridge.  After ten seconds the camera FROZE.  As in, the only thing that worked was the on/off.  WTF?  So I tried again as we crossed the bridge.  It saved NOTHING.  Now, I'm thouroughly annoyed.  But rather than throwing the damned thing as far out into Stony Run Creek as I could, I decided to give it one last try- with my finger once again off the button.

Worked perfectly.  I guess the problem was I didn't realize the camera worked on the "Cheap Urologist Curtis Smith"* plan- only a 50% chance of working.

*"Cheap Urologist" is my misheard version of "Chief Meteorologist".  I think it works better.

Some more fun with idiots

Actually, I guess that's a bit misleading.  It starts out with me, you see.  I had tried to take some video of a segment of our walk today to share with you all.  But here's the thing- first, I've been going through the scrounge drawer using every double-a I find to its natural death in the camera- and most of them have been on last legs.  Second, when the camera beeps at me that said batteries are low, it quits filming. Third, it beeped about three seconds into the filming.

So I decided to clean the camera of it and all the little partial videos I made by accidentally hitting record when I meant to take pictures.  I found it amusing that two of them began with my saying "G** D*** it", one with, "You little f****r, " and one was Laurie saying, ironically, "Oops, that time I did it!"

Somewhere along the line I did manage to take some actual pictures.  Here they are!

This is that usually-dry stream bed after three days of continuous rain.

This is what that little mini waterfall looks like now.

Here's an experiment- the bridge at normal...

...then at 1.5 X...

...and finally at that whopping top-end 2X zoom.

We were exploring the little used east side of the creek today (little used because its overgrown with briars in spring and summer.  Here a random boulder sits by a tree.

This? I don't know.  I think I took this trying to get the stupid thing to record.

Moving on, here's a huge upgrade in our recent spam e-mail collection.  Mr. Water Bill, I want you to pay close attention to how a scam e-mail SHOULD look:

UNITED NATIONS OFFICE OF INTERNATIONAL OVERSIGHT SERVICES

Internal Audit, Monitoring,Consulting and Investigations Division
From: Ms.Carman L.Lapointe. (Notice full, official-looking salutation.)
Dear Unpaid Beneficiary,




This is to inform you that I came to Nigeria yesterday from London,after series of complains from the FBI and other Security agencies from Asia, Europe,Oceania, Antarctica( A bit of overdo here- who will believe there are scam complaints coming in from Antarctica?),South America and the United States of America respectively,against the Federal Government of Nigeria and the British Government for the rate of scam activities going on in these two nations.  (A new wrinkle- blame the British as well as the Nigerians.  Very clever!)
I have met with President GoodLuck of Nigeria who claimed that he has been trying his best to make sure you receive your fund in your account.
Right now,as directed by our secretary general Mr. Ban Ki-Moon,We are working in collaborations with the Nigerian Economic and Financial Crime Commission (EFCC) and have decided to waive away all your clearance fees/Charges and authorize the Government of Nigeria to effect the payment of your compensation of an amount of $10.5M approved by both the British/United States government and the UN into your account without any delay.The only fee you will pay to confirm your fund in your account is your Court Notarization fee to the UN.
Sincerely,you are a lucky person because I have just discovered that some top Nigerian and British Government Officials are interested in your fund and they are working in collaboration with One Mr.Ben S.Bernanke and others from USA to frustrate you and thereafter divert your fund into their personal account.  (Wow! Ben Bernanke is trying to screw me here, too?  I wonder if I should send this to him, as well...)
I have a very limited time to stay in Nigeria here so I would like you to urgently respond to this message so that I can advise you on how best to confirm your fund in your account within the next 72 hours.Contact me immediately on this Cell Phone:+234-7088 155 255
Sincerely yours,
Ms.Carman L.Lapointe


United Nations Under-Secretary-


General for Internal Oversight.


Cell Phone:+234-7088 155 255


So, Mr. Water Bill, what do we learn here?  1, use a believable name.  Naming yourself after the top object on your coffee table doesn't cut it.  2, make it sound official by not only making yourself a top official, but blame top officials of as many nations as feasible.  3, add the occasional new and clever wrinkle, such as Carmen did by suggesting Ben Bernanke had found a new way to take money out of my pocket.  4, make use of modern technology, such as Carmen did, I'll wager, by leaving me a cell phone number that connects me to something that will no doubt charge me two first-born children per minute. 5, and this applies more to other scammers than the succinct Mr. Bill, use good diction and spelling.  I caught only one misused word, and everything actually made sense grammatically.  Carmen gets an A.

Not coming out so well is Barr Bello (Barr being unintelligent African for "Barrister").  Let's look at his attempt:
Here is the western union information to pick up the USD4500.00;



This is Barr Bello? (Mistake #1- You don't even know your own name for sure?  Check your punctuation!)I write to inform you that I have transfer your full compensation payment total sum of USD800, 000.00 through Western union I have already sent you USD4500.00 dollars today .Now, I decided to email you the MTCN and sender name so that you will pick up this USD4500.00 to enable us send another USD4500.00 today as you know we will be sending you only USD4500.00 per day. Please pick up this information and run to western union to pick up the USD4500.00 and call me back to send you another payment today, My direct phone line is +22968226293,Manager Mr Tony Chigozie Email:(w.westernuion@w.cn)  , (Notice, my friends, the fakery on the e-mail- western UION, instead of UNION) call or email me once you picked up this USD4500.00 today.


Here is the western union information to pick up the USD4500.00;
SENDER'S NAME:===== GABRIEL CHINWUBA
TEXT QUESTION: ====WHO IS ABLE
ANSWER:========GOD
AMOUNT:========$4500,00.
MTCN :========== 2796837454
Barr Bello.
Okay, let's take it a step at a time. 1, remember that "Barr" is a TITLE, and NOT a first name. 2, Your keyboard does -or should- have one of these- $.  Please try to use this instead of USD if you want to look more professional. 3, your writing, while not incorrect in most spots, is certainly rushed and hard to read.  Try to talk and write gooder. And 4, remember that there are stupid atheists out there as well, and they won't appreciate the use of God in your text Q&A.  While that may help you with the more simple of us Christians, the truth is that those people have already given their money to more articulate scammers like Carmen Lapointe.

See, I promised you idiots, idiots you get!