The funny side of the end of the world: Trivia about Harold Camping

1.  His middle name is Egbert.  Which is not damning, but certainly amusing.

2. He believes that the "church age" has ended, all organized churches are apostate, and advises his followers to just get out.  Good grief, don't get caught in a church when Jesus returns!

3. He believes that, based on the obscure Hebrew phrase "qara shem", that Adam actually fathered Seth, Seth actually fathered Enosh, and Lamech was Noah's real daddy, but all the rest were "reference patriarchs", i.e. actually separated by other ancestors not worth mentioning.

4. No Hell!  If you're a sinner, you just cease to be at death.  Sounds like partially following atheist doctrines, making him half-athed.

5.  His radio network, Family radio, is still offering promos expiring on the 28th- one week after anyone wanting them (or able to give them out) are supposed to be gone.  Entrepreneurship goes on in Heaven?

6. The closest station to us carrying family radio is WOTL out of Toledo.  Google thought I meant WTOL, the main AM station there, but I had to insist on the "backwards" version.  Go figure.

7.Since the church age is over and all churches are apostate, he has over the years either dropped or heavily deleted any programs that give aid and comfort to organized denominations.  Between that and the fact that most of his stations are non-commercial, you gotta wonder just what programming they DO have.

8. Just so you know, the world was made in 11,013 BC, the flood (which is a historical fact when he needs it to be and an allegory when necessary) was in 4990 BC, and Jesus died on the cross on Friday, April 1st, 33 AD.

9. Yes, he did already predict the apocalypse once before, for September of 1994.  In the book about that one, 1994?, he did say, "...but I could be mistaken."  Not so this time... I guess he neglected the disclaimer in his old age.

10. To understand Camping, first understand he says that organized churches are failed because they use "doctrines and hermeneutics" to interpret the Bible.  Second, understand that he says both that the Bible is the complete Word of God, but not all of it need be taken literally.  Third, the reasoning behind #2 is that if Jesus spoke in parables, and Jesus is the Word of God, and the Bible is the written word of God, then much of the Old Testament can be taken as parables as well.

11. Because of this he can combine the factual flood's date of 4990 BC, the parable flood's "seven days more and I shall make it rain", and 2 Peter's "A thousand years is as a day", and get that 7000 years after the flood is 2011, and with similar ironclad mathematics figures the 6 PM today target.

12. Camping's actual education was a B.S. in civil engineering.  Other famous civil engineers include the late Osama bin-Laden, Mahmoud Iamanutjob of Iran, Gen. Curtis Le May ( 1968 running mate on the American Independent ticket with Gov. George Wallace), and Sir Thomas Crapper, the alleged inventor of the flush toilet.

13. Heaven's gonna get busy- he estimates 200 million raptured today.

14.  Of course, he hadda take away all his wiggle room- the 6 PM he referred to is local time, sweeping across the globe.  Earthquakes were supposed to follow the clock like a set of dominoes.  The closest he's been at 11 am our time is a 5.3 that hit Luzon in the Philippines at 1:08 PM local.  No estimates in yet on the disappearances there.


15.  People that show their character in a crisis.  The Seattle Atheist group is raising money to help earthquake victims- and if nothing happens, the funds go to a camp to teach critical thinking to children.  Locally, Joshua attended "Post-rapture looting" according to Facebook.  There's class for ya.

GREAT SATAN 1, BIN LADEN 0

ENJOY THOSE VIRGINS!!!



Like every brain-functional American, I celebrate the just desserts that we at long last dealt out to the world's largest mass-murdering mouse turd.  First and foremost, thank you and congratulations to the Navy Seals who pulled off an effort worthy of a TV miniseries.  You boys are the BEST!!!



I'd also like to congratulate President Obama.  If you think about the last months of attacking Qaddaffyduck and now nailing the Human Hemorrhoid, he's pretty much eliminated all case for those who claim he's a muslim-symp; Combine that with the birth certificate thing, and he's had a pretty good week.



On the other side of the equation, I think we ought to pull out of Pakistan lock, stock, and barrel.  Asif Ali Zardari Has gotten a hemorrhoid of his own sitting the fence on whether he's a western ally or a fundamentalist hand holder, but he shows his true colors here by allowing a compound 8 times the size of anything else in the neighborhood, 35 miles from his capital, with retired military all over the neighborhood.  I say it's time to see how long he and his buddies will last without "the great Satan" standing behind him.

(A dog, huh?  I would've guessed a rat, or a skunk...)

Anyway, next we salute the way his body was disposed of.  No marker, no grave, no place for indigent, illiterate terrorist troublemakers to hang out.  Islamic leaders say he should have found a place to bury him.  We said, no body wants him.  Of course, that was not quite correct, but regulations against export of fertilizer to Hugo Chavez, Qaddaffyduck, and Iamanutjob (Venezyela, Libya, and Iran) prevented it.  Oh well, he'll be more valuable at the bottom of the Arabian Sea than he ever was on Terra Firma...

And finally, let's hear it for the American People.  We waited, we worried.  We never, NEVER gave up.  Let this be a warning to all you rag-topped nutbags out there lining up to take the dearly departed's place.  Your number will be pulled next.  Or, as the mighty Thor once noted; the mills of justice grind slow... but exceedingly fine.



GOD BLESS THE USA!!!

My knid of campaign ad

I've mentioned several times lately that I find the latest Tom Hayhurst campaign ad amusing. They claim that Marlin Stutzman has done things in his current position that are "not so conservative", in a derogatory way. And I think to myself, if Tom Hayhurst is the liberal, and Stutzman acting "not so conservative" is a bad thing, and the opposite of conservative is liberal, are they then saying that their man Dr. Tom is worse yet? Or are democrats now conservative? Point being, this is a poorly thought out ad, as most attack ads on both sides are. I still recall cringing at the RNC ads for local candidates- you could tell that they were written by someone who had no idea what Indiana is about, and probably wasn't sure where it was. In a similar vein, this is why I am weighing whether to vote for Dan (hand picked by the RNC) Coats and make sure that Mama Pelosi's little boy Ellsworth gets beat, of vote for write in candidate Jim Miller and send the GOP a message that we don't need them to run local elections.

So, what kind of campaign ads would I like? Hm. Let's see. I haven't heard one democrat ad pointing to the great contributions that Obama et. al. have made in the last couple years, so I think it's safe to say that a majority of people think Obama sucks and more ads that tell us that are not needed. I'm also not thrilled with the ads that say that the hon. Joe Blow will "stand up for American/Hoosier/family values", because that means that the hon. Blow will be yet another obstructionist in a playpen full of them already. How about one where the candidate says, "I promise to listen carefully to both sides of every debate, work to achieve a true consensus, and actually try to get something constructive done while you, the people, are paying me"? I mean, if Olympia Snowe can do it, why can't we string a few people together who will vote for what is good for the country and not what the party leadership demands?

I know I'm asking the impossible. Any days of true bipartisanship died when the democrats joined the NY Times and Washington Post in crucifying Nixon. (now, I'm a big enough man to admit that Nixon brought much of it on himself; haters out there, are you man enough to admit that no democrat president guilty of the same things would have gotten nearly the same treatment?) Regardless, the nation's politics was irreparably damaged by the Watergate feeding frenzy; neither party would be willing now to say, "as long as you're in the majority, we'll follow your lead; if you fail, and we become the majority, we expect the same respect." That's what this country needs, and I'm sure that 90% of politically minded people in America would laugh their butts off at me for saying it.

But here, let's face something. We have the liberal ideas of big government, offend nobody, and cradle to grave care. We can see by reading the Times of London on a daily basis that this doesn't work because it becomes too tied in P.C. and its leaders take advantage of the chance to belly up to the trough. In the liberal scenario, human nature draws us into a world where the government fattens itself at the expense of the people, and business grovels to suck at the teat. In the conservative scenario of less government, don't worry who you piss off in doing the right thing and up by the bootstraps, you have the bad thing about the Reagan years- that the de-regulation that was supposed to spur business combined with the lack of regulation to create an army of amoral money chasers who have drove the nation's finance to the edge of oblivion. So in the conservative scenario, it's business that gorges itself while the government follows along with hand out. And as people get increasingly frustrated, they become polarized until I can't even talk science and theory with someone without it becoming a whole political thing- and I'm not leaving myself out here. The thing we have to face is, that any government run by men is subject to corruption. Human nature what it is, we're only debating our choice of crooks.

And no, I'm not suggesting a theocracy. Israel couldn't pay attention long enough for God to write the Ten Commandments, and our good friend in Iran, Mahmud Iamanutjob, is another poor example. What I'm saying is, that as long as we are human beings, we will inevitably put ourselves under leaders who, given enough time, will be corrupted by power. So if all things are even, why not just say, you're in the majority, you tell us what to do. Once you've fubared it to a sufficient level, you'll get voted out and it will be our turn. Relax, it's just not worth hating your brother because he goes to tea party meetings.

As if there needed to be another reason...

...for our nation to kick the UN the hell out of this country, try this one on for size:


NEW YORK — Without fanfare, the United Nations this week elected Iran to its Commission on the Status of Women, handing a four-year seat on the influential human rights body to a theocratic state in which stoning is enshrined in law and lashings are required for women judged "immodest."
Just days after Iran abandoned a high-profile bid for a seat on the U.N. Human Rights Council, it began a covert campaign to claim a seat on the Commission on the Status of Women, which is "dedicated exclusively to gender equality and advancement of women," according to its website.
Buried 2,000 words deep in a U.N. press release distributed Wednesday on the filling of "vacancies in subsidiary bodies," was the stark announcement: Iran, along with representatives from 10 other nations, was "elected by acclamation," meaning that no open vote was requested or required by any member states — including the United States.
The U.S. currently holds one of the 45 seats on the body, a position set to expire in 2012. The U.S. Mission to the U.N. did not return requests for comment on whether it actively opposed elevating Iran to the women's commission.
Iran's election comes just a week after one of its senior clerics declared that women who wear revealing clothing are to blame for earthquakes, a statement that created an international uproar — but little affected their bid to become an international arbiter of women's rights.
"Many women who do not dress modestly ... lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes," said the respected cleric, Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi.
As word of Iran's intention to join the women's commission came out, a group of Iranian activists circulated a petition to the U.N. asking that member states oppose its election.
"Iran's discriminatory laws demonstrate that the Islamic Republic does not believe in gender equality," reads the letter, signed by 214 activists and endorsed by over a dozen human rights bodies.
The letter draws a dark picture of the status of women in Iran: "women lack the ability to choose their husbands, have no independent right to education after marriage, no right to divorce, no right to child custody, have no protection from violent treatment in public spaces, are restricted by quotas for women's admission at universities, and are arrested, beaten, and imprisoned for peacefully seeking change of such laws."
The Commission on the Status of Women is supposed to conduct review of nations that violate women's rights, issue reports detailing their failings, and monitor their success in improving women's equality.
Yet critics of Iran's human rights record say the country has taken "every conceivable step" to deter women's equality.
"In the past year, it has arrested and jailed mothers of peaceful civil rights protesters," wrote three prominent democracy and human rights activists in an op-ed published online Tuesday by Foreign Policy Magazine.
"It has charged women who were seeking equality in the social sphere — as wives, daughters and mothers — with threatening national security, subjecting many to hours of harrowing interrogation. Its prison guards have beaten, tortured, sexually assaulted and raped female and male civil rights protesters."
Though it touts itself as "the principal global policy-making body" on women's rights, the makeup of the commission is mostly determined by geography and its membership is a hodge-podge of some human rights advocates (including the U.S., Japan, and Germany) and other nations with stark histories of rights violations.
.
The activists' letter sent to the U.N. Tuesday argued that it would be better if the Asian countries proffered only one candidate, instead of elevating Iran to the commission.
"We, a group of gender-equality activists, believe that for the sake of women's rights globally, an empty seat for the Asia group on (the commission) is much preferable to Iran's membership. We are writing to alert you to the highly negative ramifications of Iran’s membership in this international body."
A spokeswoman for the U.N.'s Department of Economic and Social Affairs, which oversees the commission, did not return phone calls or e-mails seeking comment. (courtesy FoxNews)

Do I really need to comment on this? The same people who bring you "observers" in the Congo that aparently observe nothing other than local rape customs, the same people that bring you global warming "experts" who are aparently only experts in creating fairy tales, and the same people that want you to think that Israel is only a good citizen of the world so long as they take every murder, every, bomb, and every protest their lazy Palestinian antagonists dish out without responce, now want you to believe that President Iamanutjob of Iran will bring greater equality to the world's women. I have a suggestion: let him start by working on Nancy Pelosi's equality.

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And now, our final Euro-hockey note: TPS Turku, 6th place finishers in the S-M Liiga's regular season, win their 11th Finnish championship with a 6-2 over HPK Hameenlimma. So if my memory serves, this means that out of 13 leagues we followed this season, only France, Switzerland, and Denmark had their season champion become their playoff champion. The curse of being best also hit the NHL with Washington's brilliant (hee hee) performance aginst 8th seeded Montreal. I'm sure we'll hear once again all that stuff about the Caps' "window of opportunity" closing. I don't know about the window closing this year, but the screen door sure did. Perhaps, if they had come into the playoffs without the expectation that the league's lower lights would roll over and die for them, they may have gotten farther. Clue fer you, Ovechkin and co.; you aren't the Yankees. Teams don't wilt at the drop of your name. You still need to play the game that brought you there. Until you learn how to play with the target on your back, you'll be on the golfcourse in May more often than not. Now, we'll have to see if the second place Blackhawks can learn the lesson too.