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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.


Thursday, April 22, 2010

The big whine

I'm not the best at dealing with all this OT at work. The prospect of all-day Saturdays does not warm the cockles of my heart. The associated thought that we are awfully early in the season to be this busy isn't a comfort either. I find myself, as I often do, arguing at God (note "at", not "with") about the necessity and purpose of the situation. Now realizing that I am a born and raised smart a$$, God tends to deal with me on my level. I say, for example, "I thought you don't give (yes, I know that this is about temptation, but remember my context) a person more than they can handle." And God replies, "Yes. But I said nothing about giving them more than they are willing to handle." Or this morning, when I asked, "If all of this is preparing us to handle some disaster on the other side, what is it that is waiting there?" About 5 minutes later, the computer's fan started making a nice loud noise. After about 5 minutes of "Not this, too!!", I discovered that lifting up the back end and about an inch and dropping it cleared up the problem- for now.
Overall, though, I think I've done a lot better than other times in this situation. The only big rant and rave I had in all this came when I got picked for the "random" urine test for the third time since coming off lay-off in January. Not to mention, they wait until almost the moment I step out of the restroom at break to inform me. Which naturally leads to the rushed consumption of sickening amounts of water so that after an hour of waiting they got their sample- and could have had another one every 15 minutes for the next hour and a half.
My problem is when getting tired coincides with the next bit of bad news; and I will become very quiet, very bitter, and chew on the problem like it was a bone instead of just letting it go. It's always the stupid thing that gets me. The big things I can tell myself, just keep your mouth shut and move on. But all the big things will piggyback onto some idiotic incident that a person in their right mind wouldn't even notice.
That's when the argument at God begins anew, and I have a hard time with the part where I'm supposed to say, "I repent in dust and ashes." Does this all sound whiny? Yes, because it is. I know it now and I know it when it happens. I doubt there's a category you could find in which I rank in the top 5 billion in worst lives on earth. God has surely put us in a wide place, and just maybe I'm finally getting to the point where I'm recognizing that. But inside, it sure don't feel like it.
Uggh. I'd like to go to bed, but the Dolphins traded down to the Chargers' pick, and they're still 5 slots away. On the bright side, we can't possibly draft Ted Ginn again.

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