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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.

SOCK IT TO ME BABY!!!

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Who's dumber deluxe

One of the reasons I did my Eurohockey update yesterday was because I figured something (or things) stupid would happen to make me want to write on other things today or tommorrow. I was not disappointed.

First up is, in my opinion, actionable criminal stupidity. Because those two so-called pastors at the Dove Outreach in Florida decided on March 20th that a call from the President and the bribe of a new car wasn't enough, they went ahead and burned a Koran, directly leading to the murders of 7 innocent UN workers (and isn't that a hard commodity to find) and 4 protesters in Afghanistan. "Pastor" Terry Moore, who let his lackey "pastor" Wayne Sapp do the honors said the violence proves their point. So what's the point you're making? That Muslims are violent, especially when you violate their sacred texts? Hell, you can't even put Mohammed in a South Park episode, we know that their lack of regard for human life is legendary. That you, who knew full well what the price of your stupidity would be, were willing to be accessories to murder to show what big b^!!$ you have? Because that's what you are, and I would really love to be there when God looks on you from the judgement seat and calls you into account for those 11 lives, because Christ did not die to excuse that stupidity. I'm sure the muslims can't wait to have you before Allah, either; after all, Allah lets Muslims do anything in HIS name.

Second, how about Pat Bauer, Win Moses, and all the other little prodigal Benedict Arnolds who blew off their first session back because Brian Bosma wouldn't waive their fines? Get a grip, dems, real people in real jobs would have been fired long ago; at least you get to wait until election time. I think the real reason you are cheesed is because Bosma told you that he wouldn't accept third party checks. How in the world will you all figure out how to pay for something when you don't have some union rep pulling out HIS wallet and saying, "It's okay, I got this?" Win, I'm sure there's a "paying for your own stuff for idiots" page on the internet somewhere to teach you how to handle a responsibility in an honest manner.

But what REALLY got me was watching my beloved Oakland Athletics' season opener last night. Not that there weren't good things- Trevor Cahill looked good, the team set a opening day record for strikeouts, and Josh Willingham's first at bat with the team was a 2-run HR. "Chris, I hear a 'but' coming." Yes, you do. Cahill didn't make it out of the 5th because of all the extra pitches that he had to do because of the three- count 'em three- balls Kevin Kouzmanoff let bounce off his wrist instead of using his glove like a major leaguer. Of course, he only got errors on two because Ichiro hit one of them and would've beaten it out anyway. Still, this is the same guy that the announcers said was whining about having to bat 8th and then did the impossible- proved Manager Bob Geren's wisdom- by striking out so pathetically in his first ab that I think Scrappy could've struck him out. Even this only made it a 2-1 game. But then comes the 6th, and Craig breslow relieves Jerry Blevins with a man on, gives up an RBI hit to (who else) Ichiro, gets Ichiro thrown out at second on a stolen base attempt (his third of the game at that point), and celebrates his good fortune by serving up a gopher ball on the next pitch that Chone Figgins (see "Chris's least favorite major leaguer") put in the seats for a 3-2 lead. And THAT didn't compare to the seventh, where we find Breslow still giving up hits until removed for Brad Ziegler. Ziegler like any submariner who isn't named Tekulve or Quisenberry in ML history, has a tendancy to be all over the place, the more so the more crucial the situation. He gets a ground ball that Darick Barton promptly does a Kouzmanoff on at first to let it one run. Then Ziegler proceeds to try a pick off of a man who wasn't running-yet. The ball gets away from him, away from Barton, and nearly away from the right fielder as another run scores and Miguel Olivo goes to third. The next ball is where the dark cloud shifts from Kouzmanoff to Barton, to SS Cliff Pennington. The pitch is hit to him and he throws home to get Olivo. He throws it behind catcher kurt Suzuki ( who had already saved the run twice on spectacular snags of what should have been Ziregler wild pitches). Suzuki has to turn his back to Olivo to get the throw, and Olivo crashes into him, rolling over his ankle and leaving him lying in pain for about 5 minutes. Suzuki, tough kid that he is, says screw it, puts the shin guard back on, and limps back to the plate.
Then, after a bottom of the seventh made so easy by A's batters that the hometown announcer said, "It's good to be (Seattle pitcher) Felix Hernandez tonight," we go to the eighth, where the first ball is again hit to Pennington, who turns an easy charge and throw out play into a grab and a miss for error #5 (officially) and sent me at last to bed.

And the winner today is- me, for not going to bed after the fifth inning. Congrats to the Mariners. They really know how to receive a gift.

1 comment:

  1. Who's dumber?

    Remember a few years back all the controversy over the Muhammed catoons in the Danish newspapers? The publishers claimed they were simply trying to promote discusssion on the issue of Muslims prohibiting any drawings of Muhammed - yet for some reason they chose to broach the subject using only pictures that portrayed Mohammed in a negative manner. Isn't that about like walking up to someone and saying "Hey you stupid mother ******, I want to talk with you, and saying that your not looking for a fight?

    Then there was the response from so many Muslims, upset at being portrayed as irrational radicals - who responded by killing a few of their own people in protest.

    Seriously, if we could just get all the stupid people from around the world to meet together on the battlefield at once (no weapons, only hand-to-hand) this world would be a much better place.

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