Follow by Email

What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.

SOCK IT TO ME BABY!!!

Friday, October 21, 2011

Some more fun with idiots

Actually, I guess that's a bit misleading.  It starts out with me, you see.  I had tried to take some video of a segment of our walk today to share with you all.  But here's the thing- first, I've been going through the scrounge drawer using every double-a I find to its natural death in the camera- and most of them have been on last legs.  Second, when the camera beeps at me that said batteries are low, it quits filming. Third, it beeped about three seconds into the filming.

So I decided to clean the camera of it and all the little partial videos I made by accidentally hitting record when I meant to take pictures.  I found it amusing that two of them began with my saying "G** D*** it", one with, "You little f****r, " and one was Laurie saying, ironically, "Oops, that time I did it!"

Somewhere along the line I did manage to take some actual pictures.  Here they are!

This is that usually-dry stream bed after three days of continuous rain.


This is what that little mini waterfall looks like now.


Here's an experiment- the bridge at normal...

...then at 1.5 X...

...and finally at that whopping top-end 2X zoom.

We were exploring the little used east side of the creek today (little used because its overgrown with briars in spring and summer.  Here a random boulder sits by a tree.

This? I don't know.  I think I took this trying to get the stupid thing to record.



Moving on, here's a huge upgrade in our recent spam e-mail collection.  Mr. Water Bill, I want you to pay close attention to how a scam e-mail SHOULD look:

UNITED NATIONS OFFICE OF INTERNATIONAL OVERSIGHT SERVICES

Internal Audit, Monitoring,Consulting and Investigations Division
From: Ms.Carman L.Lapointe. (Notice full, official-looking salutation.)
Dear Unpaid Beneficiary,




This is to inform you that I came to Nigeria yesterday from London,after series of complains from the FBI and other Security agencies from Asia, Europe,Oceania, Antarctica( A bit of overdo here- who will believe there are scam complaints coming in from Antarctica?),South America and the United States of America respectively,against the Federal Government of Nigeria and the British Government for the rate of scam activities going on in these two nations.  (A new wrinkle- blame the British as well as the Nigerians.  Very clever!)
I have met with President GoodLuck of Nigeria who claimed that he has been trying his best to make sure you receive your fund in your account.
Right now,as directed by our secretary general Mr. Ban Ki-Moon,We are working in collaborations with the Nigerian Economic and Financial Crime Commission (EFCC) and have decided to waive away all your clearance fees/Charges and authorize the Government of Nigeria to effect the payment of your compensation of an amount of $10.5M approved by both the British/United States government and the UN into your account without any delay.The only fee you will pay to confirm your fund in your account is your Court Notarization fee to the UN.
Sincerely,you are a lucky person because I have just discovered that some top Nigerian and British Government Officials are interested in your fund and they are working in collaboration with One Mr.Ben S.Bernanke and others from USA to frustrate you and thereafter divert your fund into their personal account.  (Wow! Ben Bernanke is trying to screw me here, too?  I wonder if I should send this to him, as well...)
I have a very limited time to stay in Nigeria here so I would like you to urgently respond to this message so that I can advise you on how best to confirm your fund in your account within the next 72 hours.Contact me immediately on this Cell Phone:+234-7088 155 255
Sincerely yours,
Ms.Carman L.Lapointe


United Nations Under-Secretary-


General for Internal Oversight.


Cell Phone:+234-7088 155 255


So, Mr. Water Bill, what do we learn here?  1, use a believable name.  Naming yourself after the top object on your coffee table doesn't cut it.  2, make it sound official by not only making yourself a top official, but blame top officials of as many nations as feasible.  3, add the occasional new and clever wrinkle, such as Carmen did by suggesting Ben Bernanke had found a new way to take money out of my pocket.  4, make use of modern technology, such as Carmen did, I'll wager, by leaving me a cell phone number that connects me to something that will no doubt charge me two first-born children per minute. 5, and this applies more to other scammers than the succinct Mr. Bill, use good diction and spelling.  I caught only one misused word, and everything actually made sense grammatically.  Carmen gets an A.

Not coming out so well is Barr Bello (Barr being unintelligent African for "Barrister").  Let's look at his attempt:
Here is the western union information to pick up the USD4500.00;



This is Barr Bello? (Mistake #1- You don't even know your own name for sure?  Check your punctuation!)I write to inform you that I have transfer your full compensation payment total sum of USD800, 000.00 through Western union I have already sent you USD4500.00 dollars today .Now, I decided to email you the MTCN and sender name so that you will pick up this USD4500.00 to enable us send another USD4500.00 today as you know we will be sending you only USD4500.00 per day. Please pick up this information and run to western union to pick up the USD4500.00 and call me back to send you another payment today, My direct phone line is +22968226293,Manager Mr Tony Chigozie Email:(w.westernuion@w.cn)  , (Notice, my friends, the fakery on the e-mail- western UION, instead of UNION) call or email me once you picked up this USD4500.00 today.


Here is the western union information to pick up the USD4500.00;
SENDER'S NAME:===== GABRIEL CHINWUBA
TEXT QUESTION: ====WHO IS ABLE
ANSWER:========GOD
AMOUNT:========$4500,00.
MTCN :========== 2796837454
Barr Bello.
Okay, let's take it a step at a time. 1, remember that "Barr" is a TITLE, and NOT a first name. 2, Your keyboard does -or should- have one of these- $.  Please try to use this instead of USD if you want to look more professional. 3, your writing, while not incorrect in most spots, is certainly rushed and hard to read.  Try to talk and write gooder. And 4, remember that there are stupid atheists out there as well, and they won't appreciate the use of God in your text Q&A.  While that may help you with the more simple of us Christians, the truth is that those people have already given their money to more articulate scammers like Carmen Lapointe.

See, I promised you idiots, idiots you get!

9 comments:

  1. CWM:
    Idiots indeed...all I get are NY "traffic tickets" and 60-80% off for CANADIAN MEDS...(from ROMANIA and INDIA of all places...helluva tansit time there)

    I wouldn;t beat yourself up too bad...I do similar things when trying to take pictures these days.
    With the olf FILM, you tended to NOT make mistakes (they cost at the drugstore developer...lol)

    As to digi-pix, we can sluff off a bit more...it's cheaper!

    And my cameras do the same thing when using zoom...resolution suffers. Mine go to 4X, and I have to remember to change the resolution in the editing, otheriwse it will be blurrier than normal.

    Guess we need one of them there PRO CAMERAS...that cost as much as a set of TIRES for the car...(yeah, right)

    Much as I love photography, ain;t gonna climb THAT far out to get pictures. Not right now, anyway.

    Nice shots of that bridge, tho.

    (not a bad shot at all)

    Stay safe up there.

    ReplyDelete
  2. CWM:
    And speaking of "idiots"...that good old "anon" still wants to know HOW I contribute to our economy...ROFLMAO!

    (how about BY BREATHING and just being alive?
    Or I could just say:
    "Nunnayer f'en business!"

    Whatta shrub.
    But you have to admit, that people that LIKE one make the rest of us look SO damn much better...right?

    ANd that DELETE (comment) button is so damn cool, too.

    Stay safe up there.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hey Bob,

    I really do find it interesting (and hypocritical of you) to constantly gripe about your neighbors not working and not tell us what you do for a living.

    I know that you send your wife off to work every day to teach our kids and you belly up to the computer. You and your fellow right-wingers bitch and complain about our community and the world and then do absolutely nothing constructive to help. After that you check out everyone else's blogs so you can comment and tell each other how smart they are (Hey CWM). The best thing is that you don't have to deal with people who have a differing opinion either. Just like you said above, the delete comment button works well. That way you can live in the little right-wing world you've created down there. Nice work if you can get it (or a wife who supports you).

    So Bob, here is your chance to clear the air. What is it that you do to contribute to our economy and community? We all know that you refuse jury service forcing working people like me to be called more often. Tell us your story Bob.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hey anon,
    The last time you were here, I told you all I intend to about the things I do to make the world a better place and the reasons for this blog in particular. I also asked you what it is that YOU do (other than hit and run at blogs which you don't agree with.
    Guess what? YOU NEVER ANSWERED EITHER!!! Let's hear your story. At least Bob gives a name, and a general location. What do we know about you, other than you don't have the balls to give so much as a screen name or a "say, I do thus and so. Do you do anything like that?" A typical liberal who shoots his mouth off with zero facts and zero constructive thought. If that hurts your feelings, then prove me wrong.
    And if you're not willing to tell us what YOUR job is, MYOB about Bob's. As for me, My christianity, my giving, my supporting children over seas, my prayers for others, they are all right here on a blog I get the feeling you use to jab Bob but never bother to read. I don't pretend to be all knowing ( I leave that to left wing atheist pseudo-intellectuals like Joshua.) But like Bob, I have common sense and can determine when a spade is a spade.
    So let me rephrase- you are welcome to comment at any time. You are not welcome to pick a post at random and bitch at Bob on it.
    Try it again without first answering my questions and I will bounce you like the troll you are simulating.

    ReplyDelete
  5. CWM and Bobby G.,

    There is not one accusation that I made of Bob that he has not made of his neighbors. He calls "those people" non-working, lazy and worthless. All the while not working himself. That is the definition of hypocrisy. These are not posts that I chose radomly. All but of few of his entries follow the same template. I am simply asking him what HE does besides send his wife off to work every day.

    Both you and Bob have made the choice to put part of your lives out here on the web. A choice that I respect for the most part. However, in order to be truly genuine you cannot completey ignore glaring inconsistencies and the people who call you on them. I don't see this as a liberal or conservative issue at all. It is a simple character issue. Bob is the one who is pitching rocks from his glass house in his "ghettohood".

    Even Scrappy has to be curious about how Bob would answer the employment question. Let's go Bob, step up and answer the tough questions too.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anon:
    Nice to see you actually replied, but still no answers. Okay how about we go through this post.

    "There is not one accusation that I made of Bob that he has not made of his neighbors. He calls "those people" non-working, lazy and worthless. All the while not working himself."
    Take into account the REASON for their not working. You choose not to tell us what you do, Bob chooses not to give you his reason. Seems fair to me.Also, keep in mind that, no matter what he is doing now, he has shared much about his previous jobs. Wheras the people he is talking about think of a job as going out and selling drugs and shooting their opponants for walking down the street. People that, if they ever had a REAL job in their lives, it was likely at Burger King pocketing money out of the till and passing free food to their buddies on night shift.
    "These are not posts that I chose radomly."
    The post I meant when I said random was MINE, not Bobs.
    "All but of few of his entries follow the same template."
    So? His blog, right?
    "I am simply asking him what HE does besides send his wife off to work every day."
    And I've asked you what youve done, as you asked a while back, "to make the world better."


    "Both you and Bob have made the choice to put part of your lives out here on the web. A choice that I respect for the most part. However, in order to be truly genuine you cannot completey ignore glaring inconsistencies and the people who call you on them."

    True, as far as it goes. But the first amendment doesn't require that each "freedom of speech" taken be paid for with a "full disclosure moment".
    "I don't see this as a liberal or conservative issue at all. It is a simple character issue. Bob is the one who is pitching rocks from his glass house in his "ghettohood"."
    You don't? You were the one who said, "You and your fellow right-wingers bitch and complain about our community and the world and then do absolutely nothing constructive to help." And as far as character, you don't know us and we don't know you. You aren't qualified to make a character judgement on either of us. Nor, we you, and I tried to touch on that in my comment last night. (probably not always successful, but I did use disclaimers.)
    I can't make deals for Bob, or tell him to trade information for information. I would like to know if you are a principled person standing by your ideals or just hop-skipping right-leaning blogs looking to make trouble. But I respect your right to not share. You have your reasons- just like Bob does.
    Even Scrappy has to be curious about how Bob would answer the employment question. Let's go Bob, step up and answer the tough questions too.

    ReplyDelete
  7. CWM:
    I wonder if the words "semi-retired" MEAN anything these day to certain people?
    LOL...!
    Stay safe up there, C!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Bob's lucky to have you CWM. He deletes my comments and when I post them on your blog you provide his defense. Pretty good deal, huh Bob.

    Well at least I finally got part of an answer to my question. "Semi-retired", aka wife works, I don't.

    ReplyDelete
  9. And as usual you reply with a thinly veiled insult and no answer to anyone else's questions. I sure hope you feel all self-satisfied and justified now. You can run out to your occupy Fort Wayne buddies and tell them of the tremendous moral victory you won. BTW, yeah, I defended Bob because that's what FRIENDS do. You may have to google that term because if you're like this with everyone, you probably don't have many. What a piece of work you are.

    ReplyDelete