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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.

SOCK IT TO ME BABY!!!

Monday, November 21, 2011

Random Monday

If I can ever get my glasses clean enough to do this, I've a few items to bloviate about.

Item:  Carl Edwards, with the class he showed in losing to Tony Stewart last night, makes it hard to not like him.  But I'm trying.  Maybe he could take a lollipop from a baby or something...

Item:  Up to this point, I have not mentioned the Occupy protests on this blog.  Mainly because a) most of them have no idea what they are doing so it's kinda useless to engage in debate, and b) I'm a firm believer in "If you ignore it, it will go away". And it's been hard, as I've listened to the endless litany of their lawless acts (start here  if you doubt), the endless "99%" garbage (when by their definition I'm in "the 99%" and they don't speak for me), and their inability to understand that using public parks without paying applicable fees is and should be TRESPASSING and FREELOADING (to use Pat Miller's term)- and that King Tom's gutlessness when forced to choose between the good of his city and his core constituency is the only thing preventing them from being dealt with as such.

But what I am finally going to say is on all the bitching about the police turning pepper spray on them.  Guys, you want to play at being noble protesters, standing against "the man" to change things for the "little guy".  Pepper spray, riot sticks, rubber bullets are all part of that.  If you wanna be anti-establishment, TAKE WHAT COMES WITH IT.  I'm sure Sandra Lee Scheuer would have gladly taken a little mace asides of what she got standing up for her beliefs.

Item: Moving on to stupid laws, UK edition:

EU bans claim that water can prevent dehydration

Brussels bureaucrats were ridiculed yesterday after banning drink manufacturers from claiming that water can prevent dehydration.

Brussels bureaucrats were ridiculed yesterday after banning drink manufacturers from claiming that water can prevent dehydration.
NHS health guidelines state clearly that drinking water helps avoid dehydration, and that Britons should drink at least 1.2 litres per day Photo: ALAMY
EU officials concluded that, following a three-year investigation, there was no evidence to prove the previously undisputed fact.
Producers of bottled water are now forbidden by law from making the claim and will face a two-year jail sentence if they defy the edict, which comes into force in the UK next month.
Last night, critics claimed the EU was at odds with both science and common sense. Conservative MEP Roger Helmer said: “This is stupidity writ large.
“The euro is burning, the EU is falling apart and yet here they are: highly-paid, highly-pensioned officials worrying about the obvious qualities of water and trying to deny us the right to say what is patently true.
“If ever there were an episode which demonstrates the folly of the great European project then this is it.”

There you have it (or, "Bob's your uncle" if you prefer).  The same brilliant minds that brought you global warming now bring you this helpful research.  Hopefully the plan for just what the hell TO DO when your dehydrated will be next on their research list.

Item:  Yet again I have died- and this time I'm not alone...

ZENITH BANK OF NIGERIA
Plot 84, Ajose Adeogun Street,
Victoria Island Lagos-Nigeria
Contact Name: Mr. Norman Briggs.
Position: Executive Director,
Email: lafcu34@yahoo.co.jp



                RE: REQUEST FOR YOUR ATTENTION/OUTSTANDING PAYMENT:

Attention: Beneficiary,

We are contacting you to clarify and resolve the misunderstanding and problem at hand.

We do not intend to send to you a scam/unexpected or any sort of fraudulent email because you also need to know if you are being impersonated by the unknown, therefore, this email should not be regarded as unsolicited, as our intention is for your best interest and to protect your human right and our good image and reputation and to maintain our Leadership in professionalism in banking sector as the leading bank in Nigeria.

Be informed that we the Zenith Bank of Nigeria have received instruction to release the approved sum of Fifty Two Million Dollars Only (US$52, 000, 000.00) to you, as your Inheritance/Contract fund. We have with us the entire documentation required for this payment in your favor. We shall be waiting to hear from you for the immediate payment and to guide you on the modalities as the policy of this bank permits us.



(Blah, blah, my inheritance, cleared by authorities, act quickly, blah, blah...)


After this resent approval of your contract/inheritance fund payment of Fifty Two Million Dollars Only (US$52, 000, 000.00) to be released from my bank, Mr. Hancock from Washington DC contacted my bank requesting for the release of your funds in his name as your next-of-kin/beneficiary hence you are proclaimed dead and WILLED everything to him. And the below are his bank account details which he provided to us for the remittance, urging my bank to transfer your fund into his account immediately before it is too late:

His Bank Account Details: (Blah, blah...)


Please, if you are not dead as this man said, kindly provide in the below DETAILS required from you to enable us update your payment documents and put a stop before this person blah, blah, blahh....
 
Thank you for your understanding

Yours In-Service

Mr. Norman Briggs.
Executive Director,
Plot 84, Ajose Adeogun Street,
Victoria Island Lagos-Nigeria
lafcu34@yahoo.co.jp


 Good of Mr. Briggs, so far as it goes. But what I left out was the no fewer than 50 e-mails CC'd by Mr. Briggs.  Among the deceased are one L. Greene, connected with somebody's 36th district court, and Latrice Ponton, who was a psych major at TCU a few years back.  I sure hope you are all feeling better now.

Item:  Actual conversation at work today:

Supervisor (shaking head): "Communications SUCK around this place."
Me (faking stunned):  "Please, TELL ME this is not an epiphany for you..."

Oh, and one last item:  Does anyone else have a problem with Blogger randomly chopping off a sentence or two of your post every time you use spell-check?

5 comments:

  1. I'm with you on trying hard not to like Carl Edwards. I used to hate Tony Stewart but he's growing up and acting mature now and it really shows. Glad he won it if Jimmie couldn't go for 6.

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  2. Wow, email scammers are getting dumber by the day... who would actually fall for that.

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  3. Soooo, drinking all that water after drinking all that wine wont save me from dehydration? Damn. Now what do I do? I really thought it was helping me avoid the worst of the hangover.

    I got your postcard today *happy dance

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  4. CWM:
    Good call on the OWSer., but iof you DO ignore them, they MULTIPLY...
    (go figure).

    ANd yes Edwards showed some "cool" about losing to Stewart...
    Well played.

    Stay safe (and dry) up there.

    ReplyDelete