Before we begin, I would like to mention that google toolbar translate is back on… but Cashbox’s new web page is not.
First honorable mention tonight is to the alleged fans at that soccer game in Egypt. Hey, we won the game, let’s burn the stadium down and kill 74 people! At least, seeing as this is a Muslim country (read: no alcohol allowed on site), this should give some impetus to FIFA’s attempt to force passage of law in Brazil allowing beer in all stadiums in the upcoming World Cup. The Muslim Brotherhood claims A) this happened because there were no police or army troops on site, and B) that it was staged by the former loyalists of Hosni Mubarik. This actually makes for a good #2 contestant, since if it is the army’s fault because they weren’t there- and the army runs the CURRENT government- wouldn’t that make this the CURRENT government’s fault, and not the past one’s? Even if you could find a reason WHY Mubarik’s people would do this.
So let’s move on to honorable mention #3.
RADNOR, Pa. – A Pennsylvania teacher who has been charged with punching a 14-year-old female student in the face hard enough to draw blood claimed he was provoked by her throwing chalk at him, police said.
Richard B. Little, 41, was charged with simple assault, aggravated assault, recklessly endangering another, harassment, and disorderly conduct, in relation to the Jan. 23 incident at Presbyterian Children's Village in Rosemont, Pa., the Daily Times reported Wednesday.
Police said a supervisor at the school was called to the classroom by Little, who said the girl was throwing chalk at him. As the accused left the room he allegedly pulled the student into the hallway and punched her in the face.
Little was escorted off campus. Both he and the student were taken to Bryn Mawr Hospital for their injuries to be assessed.
After being arraigned, Little was released on bail.
Presbyterian Children's Village, which has two facilities in the greater Philadelphia region, caters to troubled teens who have issues caused by violence, neglect, addiction, poverty or mental illness.
And violence by the teacher helps troubled teens HOW? Richard gets bonus points for doing it in front of his supervisor, who HE called to the scene. Nice touch.
Contestant #4 (multiple): Ya gotta love 5th graders.
A Minnesota school immediately banned a game played by a handful of fifth-graders called “rape tag” when a parent alerted the school’s principal about the game after seeing it in Facebook postings, MyFoxTwinCities.com reported.
The game is like freeze tag, but in order to free someone, a player needs to thrust their hips at them, the station reported. Details did not sit well with administrators at New Ulm’s Washington Elementary School who banned the game in early January. (Both stories courtesy FoxNews.)
Rape tag? Really? I know that this is where I’m supposed to say, “Back when I was in fifth grade”, but… All I can say is, at least we didn’t do stupid shit like this right where the nuns could watch..
And finally, the winner of tonight’s context- LSU football head coach Les Miles. Here he is on the subject of spanking new Notre Dame QB Gunner Kiel:
When asked about recruits that head to other programs, many college football coaches will say they only want to talk about the players that did sign. But Les Miles has never been one not to speak on any topic he's been asked about, and so at Wednesday night's "Bayou Bash" recruiting celebration, Miles said exactly what he thought of five-star LSU-commitment-turned-Notre Dame signee Gunner Kiel.
"We needed a quarterback in this class. There was a young man from Indiana that thought about coming to the Bayou State," Miles said in reference to Kiel, "[but] he did not necessarily have the chest and the ability to lead a program. So you know."
So let’s properly frame this discussion. Gunner Kiel FIRST committed to Indiana University, jilting them to go to LSU. Then, while Les was looking around for him at early admissions, Gunner was just leaving the bursar’s office at Notre Dame. So he was a blue chipper when Les was robbing IU, but did not necessarily have the chest and the ability to lead a program when he did it to LSU.
Much like Richard B. Little, Les shows us what a big man it takes to beat up on a kid. Oh, yes, isn’t this the same Les Miles who cost his school a national championship when he defied his own team by leaving in a QB that was doing zippo against ‘Bama , just because the team had the unmitigated gall to suggest to him that the other QB should have been in from the beginning? Why, yes, Chris, the very same man who left in HIS QB just because the players asked him not to, and in his petty party his team gets beat 21-0. All you can say is, Class 21, Les Miles 0- again.
For being the only “electable candidate” if the race was for biggest ASS in sports, I hereby declare that Les Miles is MORE dumber!