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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.

SOCK IT TO ME BABY!!!

Friday, February 24, 2012

Never try to out-prophecy a fortune cookie

Last night, Laurie decides to order Chinese.  No, not the whole country, just some food, be serious!  Anyway, I looked around the menu on Waiter-On-The-Way in between complaining about that many items had no descriptions of what they actually were.  Not a good thing to those not real familiar with Chinese (food), as I found out.  A "Philadelphia roll" for example, descibed as "Salmon and cream cheese" (which is a tremendous concept in theory) is actually sushi.  I did not know this.  I also did not know that they apparently "cut" their ranch dressing 50/50 with vinegar.

Needless to say, I was less than thrilled with the results of my choices at the end of the meal.  As I ambled over to get my fortune cookie, I said, "My fortune probably says, 'You are an idiot'. "

Believe it or not, this is what it really said:

"You think that is a secret, but it never has been one."

OUCH.

Scrappy got one too.  His said, "your life is a bold and dashing adventure." Wow.  Two for two.

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This morning I was all decked out to "watch" Lokomotiv's game against HC Sarov on the updating text.  Within two minutes, the Google Translate toolbar went into another coma.  Thanks, Google!  Fortunately, I could copy updates and paste them on the google translate site.  The first period, in front of a home crowd of 9046, saw no scores but a lot of penalties- and the good guys outshooting Sarov 19-3!  Fortunately, Sarov goalie Valeri Pantyushin (another name I might get changed were it mine) was not so lucky in the second.  At 3:09, Daniil Apal'kov dug out from behind the net and scored his 4th for a 1-0 lead.  Just under three minutes later, Dmitry Maltsev pretty much did the same thing, unassisted, for his 5th and a 2-0 lead.  A buck-ten later, at 7:16, Kirill Kapustin nailed his 4th to up the lead to 3-0.  And at 12:26, Alexi Kruchinin got a pass in front of an empty net on a power play for his 9th, and it was a 4-0 lead.  By the time the period was out, the shot margin was now 30-7.  In the third period, the shots finally evened out (7-7), and the play was more or less carried by a lackluster Sarov team.  Just after the halfway point of the stanza,  Coach Vorobiev pulled goalie Nikita Lozhkin for Pavel Shegala.  I haven't yet found out why, hopefully just to give the kid a rest.  Shegala handled the last two shots, one a hot one from the blue line from Vitaly Zotov that tagged Shegala right in the chest, and we hung onto the 4-0 victory.

Sarov falls to 15-27-10 and falls out of the playoff picture.  Lokomotiv has bagged third spot in the West conference at 13-4-3 and will likely get VMF St. Petersburg ("Holding the Navy") in the first round. Sputnik Nizhny Tagil is the penultimate foe coming up Monday.


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Time for the quick Euro hockey roundup.   In the leagues still in regular season: The Asia League is all but decided, Oji Eagles are 20-5-9 and hold a 6 point lead over Anyang Halla.  England's EIHL currently shows Belfast's Giants at 32-5-7 but only two points clear of Sheffield and Nottingham.  Switzerland's National League A is in a tight 5 team race with defending champ SC Bern in the fifth spot; Sweden's Elitserien is just as jumbled in a six team race.  Germany's DEL sees Eisbaren Berlin in the lead of a field with 7 teams within 12 points.  Stavenger's Oilers hold an impressive 34-5-4 record and a 24 point lead in Norway's GET-Ligaen.  Finland's S-M Liiga has KalPo Kuopia leads a 4 team race to the title at 29-15-8.  Zhlobin leads Belarus' Extraliga at 28-7-5 by 14 points. In the Czech Extraliga, Sparta Praha holds a 7 point lead over Plzen; and Kosice leads the Slovak version with a 33-16-3 mark, 6 points better than Slovan Bratislava. And in the KHL, the West has SKA St. Petersburg (Which ironically is an Army team) at 31-11-11 and an 8 point lead over Dynamo Moscow, while Traktor Chelyabinsk has the same record and lead over Avangard Omsk in the East.

In leagues currently in their playoffs: Austria has come through all their preliminaries and are in the quarterfinals.  Black Wings Linz and the Vienna Capitals have traded OT wins, and BLW has a 3-0 win in game 3 for a 2-1 lead.  Medvescak Zagreb is the only squad with a 3-0 lead, having topped Znojmo 3-1, 5-2, and 5-0.  Olimpia Ljubljana won an OT game 2 against Alba Volan, but AV took the first game 7-2 and game three 8-1.  And Red Bull Salzburg has a 2-1 lead over KAC Klagenfurt after three tight game.

In Denmark's AL Bank Ligan, SonderjyskE ran off with the season title once again at 28-7-5.  They started the playoffs on a good note, topping Herlev 3-0 in the first game of their round robin first stage; Odensee pounded Fredrikshaven 5-1, Rodovre blanked Aalborg's Aab Hockey team 3-0, and last year's playoff champ Blue Fox Herning beat  Esbjerg's Efb club 4-1.

In France's Ligue Magnus, Rouen (18-5-3) took the regular season title, and with 2nd place Dijon, 3rd place Chamoix, and 4th place Briancon, get the first round off.  Among those that did not, Angers opened with a 6-1 win over Caen; Gap topped Morzine-Avoriaz 3-2 OT; Villard blanked Neuilly-sur-Marne 1-0; Amiens edged Strassbourg 2-1; and Grenoble topped Epinal 5-3.

Italy's Serie A is just getting started on its main playoffs after the seeding round.  And we end in Poland, where Sanok won the regular season with a 29-10-3 mark.  They lead their series against Jastrzebie 3 to 0; also with 3-0 leads are Krakow over Oswiecim and Tychy over MMKS Podhale; while Zaglebie Sosnowiec leads Torun 2 games to 1.

9 comments:

  1. Sushi yuck I am not a fan of chinese food although I do like honey chicken and fried rice......I have never had a fortune cookie either.

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  2. Once I peeledoff the outside, the salmon meat and cream cheese wasn't bad. However, I don't think I'll be doing it again.

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  3. Nice fortune. lol My best one was "Ask your mom." I keep it on my fridge. lol

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  4. Love Asian food but not that excited by sushi rolls.
    Havent had a fortune cookie in a long time but they have always been fun when I have

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  5. My best fortune: "You will be the mother of many". The next week, we got our first foster child. Later, we worked at a children's home where we were foster parents to 8 teenage boys at a time.

    The only time my fortune came true!

    I love Chinese food but do want to know what something is before I order it. I do not like sushi.

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  6. CWM:"
    When you said Laurie ordered CHINESE, I didn't think the whole nation, either...just a few for laundry, cooking and giving her a pedicure...lol.
    They sure aren't AFRAID to work...at ANY job...gotta hand it to them.
    And maybe that's why they get by OK.
    But I digress...

    I have NEVER heard of this "Philadelphia roll"...and I lvied in Philly for 45 YEARS!
    (I think it's contrived)

    Salmon & cream cheese (Philly brand, hence the borrowing of the name)
    Sounds like a Jewish deli order - lox & bagels...LOL!

    LOX, as explained in the James Bond Movie: You Only Live Twice, is not ONLY the acronym for LIQUID OXYGEN...but is also smoked salmon (pate`)...really big in Yiddish circles.

    And NO SUSHI (that is usually JAPANESE anyway)

    BTW, my last fortune cookie had a bloody dot-com WEBSITE on it...that just takes ALL the "mystique" out of it for me now...

    (and it's NOWHERE as funny as "help, I'm being held hostage in a fortune cookie factory".)

    Stay safe (and MSG-free) up there.

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  7. I showed my son that fortune last night. "That only happens to us Martins!" was his responce.

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  8. Gotta love those fortune cookies! So, what did Laurie's fortune cookie say?

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  9. Laurie's had something to do with a facet of personality which had nothing whatsoever to do with Laurie. It was disposed of with a, "Well, two outta three..."

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