I've already clued in Bobby G. on Saturday night, so I'll let the rest of you in on all the fun. The idea was to go to Cinema Grill (for those who don't have one, dinner and a movie in one shot) to watch The Avengers. Let me skip to the disasters, then I'll move on to the good things sprinkled within.
THE MOVIE: Here's the situation: Iron Man is stuck inside the rotors of the Helicarrier (which he is trying to restart). He's waiting on Captain America to throw a certain switch so he can get out without becoming the Human Steel-Wool Pad. Cap is dangling from a cable about twenty feet from the switch an 30,000 feet above the ground, with somebody shooting at him, and his shield back in his footlocker. Thor, after just having gotten bounced about by the Hulk, has just escaped Loki's death trap, and is currently picking dirt clods out from between his teeth. The Hulk, for his part, took a u-turn at a fighter jet and is on his way to joining Thor in dirtclod-picking. The expendable heroic S.H.I.E.L.D. agent is explaining to Loki with his dying breaths that he'll never win. And the Black Widow has just B!tc#-slapped a mind-controlled Hawkeye into dreamland (and all of this is happening more or less simultaneously. Just then, half the theatre's speaker system blows and takes the AC with it.
THE TEMPER TANTRUM: I yell at Laurie and KC as they try to stop me from storming away long enough to get our refund.
THE CAR: Is dead. A little clicking, some pre-psychotic flashes from the dashboard, and that's it. Repeated attempts to start only makes the car refuse toi give the key back.
THE NEW BATTERY: $119.
SOCKETS: Have to fall under the exact geographical center of the car.
But now, the good things:
THE RESTROOM TRIP: Which I took as the manager came down and announced that the speakers were blown, that he was "concerned" that this might happen "because this was a loud movie". That comment would have pushed the tantrum to a whole new level of embarrassing, I guarantee it. But, thankfully, I was upstairs having a urinary.
THE MOVIE: What we saw of it might have been the best movie I ever saw. Seeings as I have been reading the Avengers since I was six years old, I might not be an unbiased judge. But it's blown away Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows Part 2 its first weekend, so I don't think I'm alone.
THE MEAL: Was very good. And I don't think many people paid for it- I know we didn't. And I don't think anyone else did either, but again, I was having that urinary at the time.
CORONA: Was a pretty decent beer.
LAURIE'S SISTER AND BROTHER-IN-LAW: Came to the rescue. Tried unsuccessfully to jump it. There were no previous signs the battery was bad, and I was afraid it might be the computer brain. But...
LAURIE'S NEPHEW ANDY: Lives less than a mile from the theatre, so we called him. He is a car expert, and you can find his shop on Facebook at The Swap Shop. He hooked a tester to the battery and proclaimed he was "98% sure" it was indeed just the battery. Very nice of the damned thing to die so close to him.
THE SUPERMOON: We had a great view as it rose over McDonalds.
BROTHER-IN-LAW: Came back and picked me up after a day of fishing Sunday to get the battery tested (D.O.A.) and help me install the new one.
FISHERMEN: Carry mini-fish nets to retrieve wayward sockets.
And now, the net results:
One new battery, during good weather and near home.
A free meal, and three free passes to The Avengers when we decide to try again.
Laurie and sister bonded over I-Pad games.
Saw half of a good movie.
Know what to order for drinks next time.
Realizing, as Laurie pointed out, "The biggest disaster wasn't anything that happened, but our response to it."
So, The Avengers, Laurie's family, and Andy for coming out on his night off, get an A+.
Cinema Grill gets an A for the grill part, and an F on the Cinema part, though they have the chance to raise their grade with extra credit.
Car, especially the battery, F.
Chris, D+ (I'm pleading extenuating circumstances to raise my grade.)
December 7, 1941 Never Forget
23 hours ago