Part one: Daughter texts me this morning.
Her: Hey dad i have a collage meeting on the 27
Me: college meeting??
Her:Ya they called me 4 a meet & c wat i think about the collage
Me: What College?
Me: irritated bowel college?
Her: Its a buiness college (NOTE: she's finally got college right, now we need to work on business)
Me: Tell them the dog ate ur transcript
Part two: Son takes me out to eat for Fathers day. Has 27 dollars in cash and card to pay, figures he has enough on his bank card for balance. Says he doesn't keep a bank book, does it in his head. Laurie hands him a five for the tip, and he rips it in two. Card gets declined because he forgot about buying groceries. Come home, read his horoscope. "What problem can you solve with that highly analytical brain of yours? Your intellectual powers are augmented by the moon, and you'll think your way into a sweet situation." Nuff said.