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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.


Friday, January 25, 2013

Time Machine Volume 2 is One Year Old!

It's January 25th, 1971, and the world is seeing ups and downs.  On the up side, Charles Manson and three of his "babes" are found guilty today of the Tate-LaBianca murders.  On the down, Idi Amin takes over Uganda in a coup.  One thing's for sure- if you weren't aware the sixties were over before...

Welcome to the first birthday celebration of Time Machine!  In addition to (actually in place of) much of our usual program, we present the second annual Time Machine Beauty Contest!  Also this week, a music festival that featured rain outs, nearly electricuted bands, the Hell's Angels, pelting the audience with oranges, and an uninvited guest who saved the day; a birthday song list that includes both the ridiculous and the ironic (so what's new there?); and a hot 100 debut in the top 40!  Plus, lots of cute chicks!  Strap in, amigos, and let's fiesta!

I want to take a moment to re-iterate what I told ya'll a day or so ago.  Our beauty contest contestants include any woman who got their picture in this year's TM episodes.  I decided (at long last) to show just the top contestants- since there were 43 of 'em- but I will mention them all. 

First, I have a hall of fame entry- someone so beautiful, so wonderful, they are just in a class of their own.  and that would be...

Laurie, who got in on her birthday last year.  You really think I'm gonna lump her in with the G.P.?

Anyway, I split them into four categories.  The first and "lowest" group I call the "also receiving votes" category, and they include: (in no particular order)

Dee Dee Sharp, who got on for a six degrees that brought up her hit Mashed Potato Time.
Tina Fey, who got on for her birthday falling on post day... and got voted down more for her political stands than her looks.

Roberta Flack, who made the Martin HOF last time around.
Carol Channing, who "squeaked in" during a six degrees.
Dixie Lee Jones, a member of Original Caste, who made a Where Are They Now from their tune One Tin Soldier.
Prudence Farrow, who made it in during the Beatles-in-India six degrees.
Leslie Gore, who gets in from a funny bit a few weeks back.
The Shirelles, who made it from the songs in the top ten when Laurie and I were hatched, er, born.
Elaine and Ellen, the mysterious chicks from The Neighborhood.
And the prize winner from this group, Edith Bunker from the All In The Family Trivia answer.

Beauty is more than "skin deep".
As I mentioned in the teaser, our highest hot 100 debut is in the top 40.  The only other one out of this week's eight I'll mention is Sammi Smith's country crossover Help Me Make It Through The Night, which comes in at 93.

Our birthday song list is a long one, and starts with another of those songs that changed the face of music.  Turning 30 this week is the first salvo from Michael Jackson's Thriller, Billie Jean.  Along with it comes, Night Ranger's Don't Tell Me You Love Me, The Thompson Twins' Lies Lies Lies, and- ironically- the song that would eventually knock Billie Jean out of the top slot, Dexy's Midnight Runners and Come On Eileen.  Turning 35 we have Kansas' Dust In The Wind, Linda Ronstadt's Poor Poor Pitiful Me, The late Bob Welch's Ebony Eyes, and Chuck Mangione's instrumental Feels So Good.  Oh, and a funny little pair at the bottom of that week's chart, one you'll know, and one maybe not- at 97, Eddie Money's Baby Hold On; and at 98, Karla Bonoff and I Can't Hold On.  Almost as good as the time that Rick Springfield's Jesse's Girl was followed by Jesse Winchester's Say What!

Turning 40 this week we have Seals and Crofts' beautiful Hummingbird, David Bowie's Space Oddity (better known by its first line- "Ground control to Major Tom..."), and one you might not know, but one of America's early hits, Don't Cross The River.  Turning 45 are Sam and Dave's original to the ZZ Top Cover I Thank You, along with the immortal Sitting At The Dock Of The Bay by the sadly mortal Otis Redding, 1910 Fruitgum Company's Simon Says (Hmm, 45 year old bubble gum), and the Association's Everything That Touches You.  Finally, I have to say that the fourth week in January 1958, which was only marginally warmer than it is right now, was a ridiculous time to release this song that turns 55- The Royal Teens with Short Shorts.  Blow out the candles...

Our second group of contestants I termed "Honorable Mention".  They include:

Kitty Wells, who was in the list of those who passed away last year.
Patti Page, who led off this year's list.
Gayle McCormick, who headlined the group Smith.
Tammi Terrell, whose passing was on one of our lead ins.
Betty Grable, who got in on the lookback spotlight on Harry James.
Gloria Bunker Stivic, who shared the All In The Family pic with mom Edith.
Judy Boyd, who also made it in under the Beatles-in-India six degrees.
Judith Durham, who got in on the HOF action with the Seekers.
Shaun Stoney Murphy, Meatloaf's partner on his debut lp.
Lynn Anderson, who'll be getting another accolade a little later.
And Skeeter Davis, from the big end of the world episode.

Okay, so it wasn't the end of the world...
Moving onto our top forty entries this week.  Gordon Lightfoot sneaks up 3 to #40 with If You Could Read My Mind.  At 35, Judy Collins' Amazing Grace comes in at 35, up six.  Bread rises (here we go with this again) 9 spots with Let Your Love Go.  The Osmonds not only grab the high debut, but the biggest mover again this week, with One Bad Apple climbing 26 spots to land at #31.  Which reminds me, the Partridge Family's I Think I Love You dropped 32 to #47 for the biggest dropper, edging out Van Morrison's Domino (22 to 53) by one notch.

And the song that debuted in the top 40?  The Jackson Five with Mama's Pearl, coming in at #38.

An almost but not quite shoutout for Ray Price, whose signature tune For The Good Times peaks at 13 this week.  Which brings me to the second highest, or "almost but not quite" category.  Here we find:
Jinx Dawson, the sexy "witch" from Coven.
Ann Margaret, caught dancing during the Andy Williams tribute.
Dawn, which got downgraded because of the ugly one with the mustache.
You try spraying him out, and soaking him out...
Dinah Shore, Who made it in on a recent six degrees.
Shelly Fabres, who along with Gloria Stivic and the next lady were the only three I found swimsuit pics of.
Shirley Jones, who definately was more than just a "mom of 5".

And when we're NOT singing...
Diana Ross, who was a frequent guest in the charts.
And Polly Browne, who led Pickettywitch into the top 40.

Two songs join the top ten, two fall out.  The droppers are Stoned Love (5 to 11), and Black Magic Woman (6 to 12).

The Chairmen Of The Board hold at 10 with Pay To The Piper.

Immigrant Song, the topic of our six degrees, slips a notch to 9.

Immigrant Song was written around Led Zep's trip to Reykjavik, Iceland, and was first played during their set at the 1970 Bath Music Festival on June 27-29th, 1970.  This was a well-named festival, because it was raining as if the cow was on the flat rock almost the whole time.  Among the players and highlights:

Donovan, who was there as an attendee, took up the challenge when many bands couldn't get through the congested country lanes, playing all by himself for 2 1/2 hours while artists and equipment trickled in.  Jefferson Airplane cut their set short after getting shocked by their mics in the rain, and the Moody Blues, who were specially helicopterred in, couldn't play at all.  The Byrds, though, went on through a 90-minute accoustic set- said to be their first ever accoustic set.  Country Joe was there without the Fish, and John Mayall without the Bluesbreakers.  Pink Floyd was there, and Santana played an hour set.  Fairport Convention was escorted to the stage by the Hell's Angels, and while the Angels were not so impressed with FC, they were delighted when Steppenwolf played the next set.  Johnny Winter did his classics, and Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention made it through their set complaining of the cold, and during their song Calling Any Vegetables, hurled oranges into the crowd- at least one of which was thrown back with the cry, "We're the inventors, now!"  Canned Heat survived by being extremely stoned (and proud of it) during their set, and Dr. John closed the show early Monday morning, and at one point nearly left the stage when an announcement asked for a doctor for an emergency in the crowd (after all, they called for a doctor).  Oh, and Led Zep led off their set with the first public playing of Immigrant Song, just six days after the trip to Iceland that started it all.

Elton John moves up one to 8 with Your Song.

Gladys Night and the Pips come in at 7, up 4, with If I Were Your Woman.

Remember Lynn Anderson? She moves from 12 to 6 with Rose Garden.

The Bee Gees climb a deuce to 5 with Lonely Days.

The top four remain the same, with Groove Me at 4, One Less Bell To Answer at 3, My Sweet Lord at #2...

And now, the finalists of the Beaty Contest!

Mariska Veres of Shocking Blue...
Morgana the kissing bandit...
The former Mrs. Andy Williams, Claudine Longet...
Karen Carpenter...
Star of stage and screen Connie Sellecca...
The face and voice of the Poppy Family, Susan Jacks...
Former Mrs. Harrison and Clapton, Patti Boyd...
The incomparable Mia Farrow...
And Susan (Laurie Partridge) Day.
And truth be told, as I type this, I haven't made up my mind!  I will say the last five are my top five...
I had Laurie pick her picks, and the only two of her picks in my finalists were Karen Carpenter and Mariska Veres!  So let's have Scrappy pick 'em... how, you ask?  Let's line up five french fries and see which one he picks!
Annnd he takes the middle fry, so our winner is... Patti Boyd!!!!

Yeah, man, we agree... ya got a brownie, dude?
And at #1 again this week... Dawn and Knock Three Times!!!!
Happy birthday to us... happy birthday to us... come right back here next week... we'll kick up a fuss!


  1. Happy birthday and Congrats!! Thanx for jogging my memory on some of these songs.
    Oh the Partridge family! I used to love watching that show everyday. I wanted their bus!

    1. We still get'em in the afternoon on Antenna TV.

  2. It was 1971 and I discovered that Little Al could be used for something else.

    1. And these pictures brought back many memories, eh?

  3. CWM:
    WOW...CONGRATS...and HAPPY any old order you want, buddy!
    That is an amazingly fact-filled TM this week, and deserved so.

    I also guessed Susan Boyd...had the right lip pout and subtlety about her (imho).
    She really represented that era well.

    Too many great songs to speak to...all I can say if they WERE the songs that made our lives much of what they were (and still are).

    Excellnt ride this "E-Ticket" on the Internet, my friend.

    Stay safe (and song-filled) up there.

    1. I probably would have went for Mia, as my son did, but Scrappy went for the longest french fry.