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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.

SOCK IT TO ME BABY!!!

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Lotsa Little bits Vol. 6

ITEM:  I have survived my first week at the new job, despite prototypes that aren't complete when the machine cuts them, a label printer that has claimed to be out of paper some 17 times in three days (none of them true), white chalk that has to be frozen to avoid bending, a visit by Mayor Henry, and above and beyond, my own stupidity at a variety of critical junctures.  Actually, everyone says I've done a pretty good job for my first week.  But in my mind, it's "you wouldn't be saying that had you been sitting on my shoulder today"- a phrase I've said to myself each day this week.

ITEM:  In celebration of my week's survival, I had Laurie buy me a present:



ITEM: Oh yeah, I have to tell you about King Henry coming to cut the ribbon for the company's new building.  Several dignitaries from the company (as well as its creditors), along with the Mayor, reps from the Ft Wayne/Allen County Business Alliance, and a cameraman from 21Alive who proved less than useful, gathered for the celebration.  I almost Volunteered to hold the ribbon, but figured I'd be pressing my luck if King Henry remembered me from any of my less-than-flattering blog posts that I forwarded to him.  When they went to cut the thing after 20 minutes of stirring oratory, we the people were invited to stand behind His Highness and the gang as our boss cut the ribbon.  I nearly stood right next to him, but again advised myself not to.  One lady stood behind me "because I don't like pictures"; observing that she had a good head of height and several pounds on me, I informed her I didn't think I'd be much cover.

So we watched the 5:00, 5:30, and 6:00 news and saw not one speck of it anywhere; nor does extensive searches on the Mayor's website, 21Alive News, the Alliance's site, or anywhere else.  And we topped it off with an hour and 40 minute's worth of OT to make up for the festivities.

ITEM:  Speaking of news, have you heard the latest?

Homeland Security has advice for confronting mass murders: scissors

  • Last Updated: 5:44 AM, January 31, 2013
  • Posted: 1:09 AM, January 31, 2013
WASHINGTON — Is your workplace getting shot up by a crazed gunman?
No problem — just grab a pair of scissors and fight back!
That’s some of the helpful advice in a new instructional video from the Department of Homeland Security that was posted on the agency’s Web site just a month after the massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut.
“If you are caught out in the open and cannot conceal yourself or take cover, you might consider trying to overpower the shooter with whatever means are available,” says the narrator in the video, which shows an office worker pulling scissors out of a desk drawer.


Thank you, NY Post.  I've always thought that the left wanted us to bring a knife to a gun fight.  Guess it actually was scissors.  But make sure they aren't assault scissors, eh?

ITEM: Quick note on Lokomotiv.  We split this week's games, beating Torpedo 2-1 on goals by Daniil Apal'kov (7), and Staffon Kronwall (9), and a 31-save performance by Curtis Sanford.  Curtis followed that up today with a 23-save, 5-2 loss to Atlant, with the last goal an empty net job with 2 ticks left.  Yegor Averin (11) and Alexei Chernikov (8) tallied for us.  This leaves us 5 behind Red Army in our division, as SKA continues to run away.  They clinched the best overall record with a 3-1 win over Dynamo Moscow that put them at 35-10-4 for 110 points, 9 points up on Avangard.  Since last time we checked, Severstal, Salavat Yulaev, Barys Astana, and Sibir all clinched playoff spots; six teams are still fighting for the last three spots in the West, while just two remain contesting the last chair in the East. except for the two Czech/Slovak teams tomorrow, no one plays again until Wednesday, and we (23-16-10) get Amur (11-32-6) that day.

ITEM: and now, a brief look at my latest collections of spam comments, shortened to the amusing stuff to fit in the post.  First we stop by the lovely Waiting For God blog, where we find our author's aggravated rant against drivers who forget to go on the green light being called a "pleasant post", and linking to a German social media spam purveyor from which we can only learn that it takes Germans 13 letters to spell "services".

We follow that with a post on Monkey Butt's site that recieved an invitation to the website "werewolf romance".  Things are getting pretty hairy there...

Next, on the blog of Grumpy Old Ken, an elderly English gent who isn't near as grumpy as he claims, he gets a letter from " Mary Popovaks" who told him:
Hi all
I'm Mary, 22 years old :)
I am looking for good man. If he exists...
I'm love sport and... Hope you understand


She went on to "try" to send him a picture of herself (probably resembling Man'te Teo's girlfriend), then claimed the link was "corrupted" (probably the one truth in the whole thing) and sent the typed out link instead.

Next, we visit A Beer For The Shower, where you have to wonder why the scammer would ask the author of the blog this question:

Hі therе Deаr, aгe you actuаlly vіsiting this wеb site dailу,
if so afteгωard you will ωithout dοubt obtain good knowledge


No, Dear, I would never visit my own website.  You don't know the kind of people who write it!

The fun part is when they pay you such compliments while proving they've never seen your blog.  Al Penwasser does a bit where he finds a silly picture, puts an even sillier caption to it, and stands back to watch the mayhem is regular commenters have with it.  On one such post, he got this:

Follow me on facebook fanpage and blog
I'm very concerned about this, please. :)


The picture this person was so conerned about was a seal hovering in midair, just about to be swallowed relatively whole by a great white.  So I doubt they were near as concerned as the seal was.

My beer cap collection blog certainly is the target of some confused commentors, sending me links to such sites as "What is an alcoholic" and "how to quit drinking".  Of course, I did have a Coors at Red Robin tonight, but that didn't count because it was with dinner, and well, it WAS a Coors...

Remember my review of the great Beach Boys reunion lp, That's Why God Made The Radio?  It's gotten many comments lately, including:

WOW just what I was searching for. Came here by searching
for www fredricksofhollywood


I think you MAY have spelled it wrong when you searched it.  Another poster on that review linked to "wedding insurance comparisons" (WTH is wedding insurance?) and started out, not surprisingly, by saying:

Hey there! I know this is somewhat off topic...

And yet another was asking me how to get listed on Yahoo News, while sending me the link "Washington unemployment website".  I've also gotten one hawking "How to stop snoring naturally.  If that was you, Scrappy, you've hardly room to talk!

I can't help mentioning the post on Momto8blog entitled "Opportunity Knocks" and gifted with the link "remedies for menstrual pain."  I don't think that was opportunity knocking...

And finally, one more from Grumpy Old Ken's place, which has to be the stupidest link I've seen yet:  "Click through the next webpage".

ITEM:  That's it, kids! Stay warm (unless you are Mynx or Joanne, in which it is "stay cool") and have a nice day.


3 comments:

  1. CWM:
    Sound the trumpets and loose the pigeons...you were privy to yon King and his court of vassals???
    It soundeth like a worthy time of jest, m'lord!

    ROFLMAO...I'd have to be in the bathroom, making LOUD wretching sounds, were I present.

    My God, I LOVE your take on DHS's "advisory"...
    Wonder what the magazine capacity for SCISSORS are these days?
    I also got a laugh out of their "splanin" the difference between COVER...and CONCEALMENT.
    (like bullets will just bounce off or go around such things)

    Have to admit, they got a good team of
    COMEDIANS working for them.

    That makes the old "duck and cover" for those NUCLEAR attacks from the 50s actually noteworthy (like crawling under you desk was gonna help some child any when the A-bomb drops!)
    Easier to kiss your tookus goodbye, perhaps?

    Excellent post, ye worthy serf.

    Stayeth safe up there.

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  2. I have a picture of that sign!! I found it at Hobby Lobby and took the picture to forward it to Kevin's sister when she was in the midst of her job hunt.

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  3. Yeah I think attacking a mass murder with a pair of sissors will just do the trick, if the trick is to get yourself killed.............

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