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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.

SOCK IT TO ME BABY!!!

Monday, July 22, 2013

All the news that's, well, maybe not fit to print.

Here at TAW, we realize that there is REAL news happening.  Chinese officials in Gansu are searching for survivors of an earthquake that had killed up to 89 per my recent visit to Xinhua.  Iraqi authorities are struggling to cope with an "al-Qaeda style" jailbreak that freed over a hundred prisoners and killed at least 20 guards.  We also realize that We here are not qualified to be YOUR news source for such things.  Then there are the things that aren't really news, but US news providers think is news.  The coming baby royal, Obama's heroic persecution prosecution of George Zimmerman, and not to mention his lovely vacation "while others are furloughed by the sequester.  Only as they rise to AH-CRAP level stupidity do they rate our attention.

In between are feel-good stories like this one:

A woman in Japan had somehow managed to get stuck in the (usually) less-than-8-inch gap between a subway car and  the platform.  After an emergency announcement, dozens of people rose up to push the 30-ton car off her leg and pull her to freedom. 

Also in-between are items like the death of "journalist"  Helen Thomas (to which we can only say, "If you can't say nothing nice about someone..."

But also somewhere in there are the stories TAW features, all-American AH-CRAP stories, such as:

An officer and a dog were investigating a vehicle in Gainesville early on Sunday when Antonio Morrison, 19, barked at the animal, police said.

Florida law makes it a crime to "harass" a police dog while the animal is "in the performance of its duties".

Morrison, who plays linebacker for the University of Florida Gators team, said the dog had barked first.

University of Florida football coach Will Muschamp said Mr Morrison would be suspended for at least two games when the season starts later this summer.

"I'm extremely disappointed in Antonio Morrison's decision making,"  Muschamp said in a statement.


It was the dog's fault!  He called me a woof... or a ruff, I'm not sure which...
Or how about this one, brought to us by the brain surgeons at MSNBC... host Melissa Harris Perry is upset with the Texas legislature.  Since they are making it a law to lay upon abortion providers in the state the onerous burden of proving that they are actually qualified to perform such a procedure, several liberal group demanding abortions be "free and for any reason"  (sure, I get my kicks getting pregnant and then vacuuming the results out like it was a dust bunny) were going to "celebrate" the law's passage.  On the tip, Capitol police searched purses and among other things, confiscated tampons that they believed were going to be thrown at the legislators.  Therefore, she went on TV with tampon earrings...


...as an example to the protestors of how to avoid the "unreasonable search-and-seizure".

But was it unreasonable?  The article by Robert Laurie goes on to say...

Back in July, women in Texas were travelling to the State Senate to "observe" the debate over the State's new abortion restrictions.  Lt. Governor David Dewhurst - who is also the Senate President - didn't want protesters lobbing junk at the lawmakers.  So police searched purses and confiscated tampons.  This may sound ridiculous, but the Washington Post reported that they also found a jar of urine, 18 jars of feces, and three jars of paint - so something was about to go down.
Either that, or liberal women just like carrying feces around with them.


As much as I want to, I don't suppose I really have to add anything beyond that.

But of course, Texas and governor Rick Perry hate women, don't they?  I wonder how well Mellissa Harris Perry would do in Dubai. 

 (Norwegian) Interior designer Marte Deborah Dalelv was on a business trip in Dubai when she says she was raped.

The 24-year-old reported the March attack to the police but found herself charged with having extramarital sex, drinking alcohol, and perjury.

Welcome to the lovely Arab world, where a woman is automatically charged with adultery if she is raped... UNLESS...

According to the Emirates Centre for Human Rights, UAE law states a rape conviction can only be secured after a confession or as the result of testimony from four adult male witnesses to the crime.


Never mind that the four witnesses would probably be involved in it.  Sure makes it hard to figure why the Muslims and Hindus have such a hard time getting along in India, home of the covered up gang rape.

Her alleged attacker (a colleague), she said, received a 13-month sentence for extra-marital sex and alcohol consumption.

And both she and the attacker were released today.

But not all TAW news is thus unpleasant- as long as you weren't there...

A woman in Manchester, England, has been given a fine after taking her horse into a McDonald's restaurant.

She was initially refused service while in the saddle in the drive-through lane of the branch in Whitefield, Greater Manchester.
She then led the animal inside, where it defecated on the floor.
Police were called to the outlet in Bury New Road on Saturday.
A statement posted on the Facebook page of Greater Manchester Police's Whitefield Division read: "The staff refused to serve the women due to company policy. The woman then took the horse into the restaurant, who ended up doing his business on the floor.


Perhaps McDonalds should stop horsing around with the drive thru rules...

Another note that fits our bill compares the posh vacations that President Obama takes with those of Vladimir Putin:



President Vladimir Putin climbed into the Sea Explorer 5 bathyscaphe on Monday off the coast of Gogland, an island in the Gulf of Finland located 180 kilometers west of St. Petersburg. Putin rode the small submersible craft 60 meters down to see the remains of the naval frigate Oleg, which sank in 1869.

Thus, while Obama practices his Robin Leach impressions, Putin is doing his best Ringo Starr:

 
I'd like to be
under the sea,
in an octopus's garden in the shade...


And of course, we also feature the latest in northern Allen County wildlife.  For example, while Scrappy and I prepare to go out the front door for a walk Saturday night...






...Ms. Thing cruises the back yard for a bite!


And today's tale finishes off with a story.  Last night when we went to bed, Scrappy and I saw a raccoon dash across the parking lot for a midnight dumpster dive.  Then, we saw two more.  Then, a fourth one flew across the lot.  Briefly, I considered throwing my shorts on to take a few shots of the diners, but decided the bed was much more comfortable.  My wisdom was proved about five minutes later when Scrappy started whining and barking again.  This time I watched one of the coons return to the woods... but Scrappy acted like something was on the neighbor's porch.  Again I thought about going out; again, I wisely decided not to.  Moments later I learned that what he saw was not on the porch, but just outside it... and it wasn't a coon, but a SKUNK that they had scared up.  I think, though, the coon got off easy, because I didn't smell the big stink.

Better him than us, I say.


15 comments:

  1. I have a question. And it's serious, and I mean it from the bottom of my heart - but what exactly is the difference between George W. being flown to Kennebunkport [about the poshest place in the lower 48] for vacation or Regan being flown home to his ranch in CA and Obama being flown home to Hawaii for his family vacation. He grew up in Hawaii, as the Regans did CA and Dubya did in ME and Texas.

    Why is this a problem? I know there is a budget and furlough crisis but most Presidents work 15 -20 hour days, 7 days a week. And they are still working while on vacation I am sure. Heck, Dubya was on vacation in the early stages of the war he declared.

    These men, and their families need a break, and I think it is unfair to single out the use of taxpayers money for these vacations for one President and not others when this has been standard practice for decades.

    Everyone makes such a big deal out of President Obama going *home* to Hawaii. Well, it is his home. We can't all call Northern Virginia home [like I can] and just take a motorcade to Springfield VA when we want to go *home* from the White House.

    Or is that what you want? Him to not go to Hawaii or just not take a vacation at all? Regan took more than any other President - flying to CA often. [I know, I know - it's apples to oranges with you. Regan was the best President ever and Obama just sucks, right?]

    I was no fan of George W's but I didn't like that he was derided for wanting a little peace and quiet away from the bustle of DC, be it in ME or TX.

    They do need a break.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "[I know, I know - it's apples to oranges with you. Regan was the best President ever and Obama just sucks, right?]"

      I was just showing what was IN THE NEWS, not necessarily my opinion. Frankly I agree that they all do the same thing. I was lampooning the news,not the man necessarily. Nor do I feel it's fair to expect me to add a caveat "Just like everyone else did" to every current events thing to come along.

      But since you brought it up this way- the same way you always give me heck for doing- Yeah, I do think Reagan was the best President in our lifetimes and Obama does suck. But the reasons for that are the apples to this post's oranges.

      I guess I deserve it though. After all I am the awful Cotton Mather hunting innocent witches like Melissa Perry, and I have conditioned you to always see the pitchfork in my hand.

      BTW, I thought his family had just went on safari? The only vacation I got was this lay-off, and I can't even afford to go to the city zoo. So my sympathies for any of their families is minimal.

      That said, I repeat- my point wasn't OMG Obama's going on vacation again. It was, listen to the media saying, "OMG Obama's going on vacation again." I'm sorry that you mistook me.

      Delete
    2. “These opulent vacations are bad enough but, to make matters worse, they [Barack and Michelle] often travel separately, often just hours apart.

      “Worse still, they often go their separate ways. In February, Michelle and the girls went skiing in Aspen, Colo., while the prez traveled to Florida to play golf with Tiger Woods. That means twice the advance planning, more Secret Service agents, more lavish hotels and large expense accounts for the entourage that must follow them.

      “Obama’s minions try to defend these overt displays of extravagance by pointing to the number of days George W. Bush and Reagan spent away from the White House.
      They come up short, way short. ...

      [...]

      “Obama, like most presidents, has a fondness for golf. He played more than 100 rounds in his first four years. Bush, on the other hand played only 24 times in eight years. In 2003, he gave it up because, “It just didn’t seem right during a time of war”.”

      More Here:
      OBAMA JET-SETTING: PUBLIC DISPLAY OF BAD TASTE

      I’m certainly not defending Reagan OR Bush! We haven’t had a truthful, non-traitorous president since before Woodrow Wilson.

      However, you’d think that simply destroying the country would provide enough pleasure for a communist like Obama, without all the expensive vacations and rounds of golf, too.

      ~ D-FensDogg
      ‘Loyal American Underground’

      Delete
    3. My apologies. I just realized I hurt you and that is never, ever my intention.

      I am just tired and I suppose I should just keep my mouth shut.

      But we're all human and I get so tired of how poorly our President is treated.

      Like it or not, he is ours for a few more years.

      I never went after Regan, Bush or Bush like everyone is going after Obama and I guess at this point in my life I want to stand up for the man. I believe in supporting who the country elected, regardless.

      News reports can be skewed anyway we like to fit our own opinions.

      I am so sorry Chris. I didn't mean to anger you or hurt your feelings. Honestly.

      I can't imagine not having you on a lily pad with us. [I am also a girl, okay? And crying right now.]

      Again, my apologies.

      Delete
    4. Yeah, you're okay. I was just at a point I wasn't of a mood to have my tail pulled. However, you might want to read the comment by STM above before you defend "your president" too loudly on the case of vacations.

      It may seem you have had to do an awful lot of defending to you; To conservatives it seems like he has taken all the sins that all the presidents have committed and increased them exponentially. (except of course adultery- as far as I know, Clinton, JFK, and Harding still have the market cornered there).

      The thing that bugged me is that, after all the times that you busted me for going after Obama "unfairly", you decide to rope Reagan in for no real reason on a post that was directed at the press more than Obama. I guess we all have our meltdown points though.

      I ignore literally hundreds of chance to go after Obama that I think are worthless or beneath those who come up with them. The fact that I find so MANY to still bust him on should say a lot on the job he IS doing.

      And really, he's a big boy and shouldn't be needing defended. Getting elected is just like being a celebrity- part and parcel is the target on your back (And wait'll you see what I do to Ryan Braun next!)

      Crying? Buck up, sister. We WILL butt heads. You should know that from the last e-mail I sent you! A person can't help butting heads with ME once in a while.

      Okay? Okay. Here is a hug, and a shoulder to wipe off the tears on. Onward and upward!

      Delete
    5. STM-

      As I told SM, my purpose was never to fight that battle. I knew that story, and statistic, was out there. But it was a side issue in all seriousness on a post which I explained at the start was just for fun.

      I figure that the things he does AS president give me more than enough fodder than to worry about what he does in his off-time.

      Delete
  2. Tampon earrings? Nice. That's pretty classy. I think she might start a trend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But not as classy as a bottle of poop in your purse...

      Delete
  3. I... I just have no words for this... people... can't... nope. I need to sign off and start again. lol. WOW.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All right here in beautiful downtown America!

      Delete
  4. Here's the thing... I am all for women's rights (as you know) and there are many women who have done amazing things for women and equality.

    NONE OF THEM I'M SURE INVOLVED CARRYING POOP IN ONE'S PURSE.

    Wackos.

    That is all.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "NONE OF THEM I'M SURE INVOLVED CARRYING POOP IN ONE'S PURSE."

      I was hoping someone would confirm that...

      Delete
  5. I am in TOTAL agreement with Juli. I did a facepalm on that one, because . . . damn. That's just sick.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe I should stop doing these posts. The Anti Facepalm League has been bugging me...

      Delete
  6. CWM:
    Good news coverage...and some decent "right-in" commentary to boot.
    I think that Bush went to his HOME, as did Reagan.
    Obama...lived in CHICAGO, and who REALLY wants to go THEWRE these days?
    Agreed that separate vacations cause MAJOR logistical issues w/ the Secret Service.

    Love the "Putin on the Ritz" spot...LOL!

    Stay safe up thre.

    ReplyDelete